Pain from an Awakening Consciousness

I’m contemplative today and wanted to share this with the community in the event anyone else runs into this, or has some words of wisdom to share.

About 6 months ago I began what I can only call a journey into understanding my consciousness, how it lives above/alongside my earthly being, what’s it IS - and obviously more I won’t list out for the sake of brevity.

In this journey I - without coercion - basically stopped drinking, stopped consuming as much of everything material, ditched nicotine, eat better and have been more peaceful as I work towards a sense of oneness with myself and the energies of the world.

I also find myself going from being very “career minded” - and successful at it at that - to finding far less joy in my work that I used to. I don’t really care to “climb the ladder” any longer. The allure is gone. To a point where I don’t really care at all about it any longer.

I lead people but I want to help people now and in ways I didn’t previously think about. I have friends I can no longer relate to. Habits that died instantly. I used to welcome confrontation - now I hate it as I see little value in arguing and a lot more value in understanding and mutual alignment whenever possible.

I have less patience than ever for arrogant people. Or those who are “holier than…” and, ironically, a fairly large disdain for “billionaires” or the “ultra-high net worth” crown (say +$20mm) and have NO idea what I want to do next with my life that can get me where I’m trying to go financially (which is not world or industry domination) and actually fulfill my conscious.

Same goes for friendships. So many are focused on very earthly matters that feel trivial and unimportant (keeping up with the Jones’s, whining about everything) or just flat out unexciting.

I knew going into this the journey wouldn’t be easy but it’s likely beyond worth it. As I can improve my alignment, more will fall into place. Perhaps this is a season of planting and not harvesting - and that’s ok. If I can figure out how to allow the things to align as they should I’ll add commentary here.

In any event, sorting out your ego from your consciousness is a highly enlightening, joyous - and at times extremely painful - experience.

In the back of my mind I suspect the pain means it’s working

i've definitely gone through a similar thing when i started meditating and exploring my consciousness as well.
Ive gone through a lot of the feelings you describe, i ended up starting my business and selling my business because of what i see as my own progression of consciousness.

You are definitely right about pain being part of the process. Try to stay positive and realize that your feelings and thoughts create your reality, quite literally.

I see it kind of like a video game. If your going the right way it gets harder. I think its just the universe teaching us how to grow up.
The more you become aware of yourself and your consciousness the less outside forces will phase you. Things will go bad, but they will be less taxing on you mentally. At least in my experience this is how it seems to work.

a reply to: VulcanWerks

Honey you're in the fun phase now, if it's a real awakening the pain hasn't even started yet.

originally posted by: booyakasha
i've definitely gone through a similar thing when i started meditating and exploring my consciousness as well.
Ive gone through a lot of the feelings you describe, i ended up starting my business and selling my business because of what i see as my own progression of consciousness.

You are definitely right about pain being part of the process. Try to stay positive and realize that your feelings and thoughts create your reality, quite literally.

I see it kind of like a video game. If your going the right way it gets harder. I think its just the universe teaching us how to grow up.
The more you become aware of yourself and your consciousness the less outside forces will phase you. Things will go bad, but they will be less taxing on you mentally. At least in my experience this is how it seems to work.

I appreciate your comments and words of encouragement!

It’s possible I just haven’t experienced “sadness” or the sense of “pain” at the conscious level in a way I am truly aware of before.

Being “lost” but “found” at the same time is the best way to describe it.

originally posted by: Peeple
a reply to: VulcanWerks

Honey you're in the fun phase now, if it's a real awakening the pain hasn't even started yet.

I suspect that’s the case! Please share any other commentary you may have!

a reply to: VulcanWerks

You can't unsee what you have seen.
I've tried. It just makes it more painful in the long run.



Simba was running from the truth for most of the movie.
Hakuna Matata, It means no worries.. Trying to give oneself an escape by not caring about reality.
Then the teacher comes and reminds him, literally hitting him over the head with the fact of reality..

It hurts but better to not spend half the movie of life living for nothing. ??

Maybe, I wouldn't know ..lol..

Maybe just another part of the truth I decided to learn more thoroughly.



"Pain is just weakness leaving the body." -Some Army dude at Ft Benning..

a reply to: VulcanWerks

Other commentary? I don't think I would have anything worthwhile. Except maybe a short reminder of the game rules:
If you find sthg that's actually helpful in improving the state of the world: share it.
And whoever crosses the ocean first gets the Blue Ribbon
Happy travels, stranger

I’ve learned to not define things. Like-it isn’t that you don’t relate to your friends anymore or you hold ultrawealthy in disdain or even that you are ‘awakening’. Your focus is somewhere else. Each moment you are filling up your glass with more awareness. This will eventually lead you to do things and opportunities will arise because you can see and move better because you’re more aware.

Also realize what I just said, maybe 1% is right. If it doesn’t resonate with you right now, throw it out and think about it in a year. It is a personal journey. We all have the same awareness but different mediums.

originally posted by: Peeple
a reply to: VulcanWerks

Other commentary? I don't think I would have anything worthwhile. Except maybe a short reminder of the game rules:
If you find sthg that's actually helpful in improving the state of the world: share it.
And whoever crosses the ocean first gets the Blue Ribbon
Happy travels, stranger

Cheers mate.

originally posted by: AcrobaticDreams
I’ve learned to not define things. Like-it isn’t that you don’t relate to your friends anymore or you hold ultrawealthy in disdain or even that you are ‘awakening’. Your focus is somewhere else. Each moment you are filling up your glass with more awareness. This will eventually lead you to do things and opportunities will arise because you can see and move better because you’re more aware.

Also realize what I just said, maybe 1% is right. If it doesn’t resonate with you right now, throw it out and think about it in a year. It is a personal journey. We all have the same awareness but different mediums.

This does make sense.

I realize that there isn’t a “right answer” but that’s also why I’m seeking perspective.

Part of this process, for me, is decoupling oneself from right and wrong and seeking “what is” - and, like egos, conscious beings are all different, too. For me, it’s about understanding my conscious being and then how it interacts or manifests in the world.

originally posted by: VulcanWerks

originally posted by: AcrobaticDreams
I’ve learned to not define things. Like-it isn’t that you don’t relate to your friends anymore or you hold ultrawealthy in disdain or even that you are ‘awakening’. Your focus is somewhere else. Each moment you are filling up your glass with more awareness. This will eventually lead you to do things and opportunities will arise because you can see and move better because you’re more aware.

Also realize what I just said, maybe 1% is right. If it doesn’t resonate with you right now, throw it out and think about it in a year. It is a personal journey. We all have the same awareness but different mediums.

This does make sense.

I realize that there isn’t a “right answer” but that’s also why I’m seeking perspective.

Part of this process, for me, is decoupling oneself from right and wrong and seeking “what is” - and, like egos, conscious beings are all different, too. For me, it’s about understanding my conscious being and then how it interacts or manifests in the world.

When you say you’re trying to understand your conscious being-that is the conscious being saying that. There is only one thing that you know is 100% real. The rest-it may or may not be. Cultivate that one thing that is real and return to it always forgetting all the rest. Then you won’t have to ‘try’ and ‘understand’. What is truthful will remain and grow eventually, naturally. If you try to understand things and try to emulate gurus and others, then you will be at this for a very long time. There is one think you KNOW is real-all the rest you don’t. You cannot even say for sure you are reading what I am typing for sure.

a reply to: VulcanWerks

You're on the wrong side of "enlightenment" - you're more on the side of being disillusioned. Instead of being disenchanted by earthy things, such that you are becoming cynical, you need to go at it from the perspective of being given faith / enlightenment through grace. That is, you seem to be feeling slightly cynical and somewhat resentful as if you went through deprivation when you should seek enlightenment through the feeling of being given grace and through grace you received faith which in turn makes you grateful and calls you to action (self-sacrifice of the ego) through your own indebtedness to grace.

a reply to: VulcanWerks

I am a sensitive, and quickly jumped to end of post.

Respectfully...where now do you find yourself?

This "you" is still..you.

originally posted by: AcrobaticDreams

originally posted by: VulcanWerks

originally posted by: AcrobaticDreams
I’ve learned to not define things. Like-it isn’t that you don’t relate to your friends anymore or you hold ultrawealthy in disdain or even that you are ‘awakening’. Your focus is somewhere else. Each moment you are filling up your glass with more awareness. This will eventually lead you to do things and opportunities will arise because you can see and move better because you’re more aware.

Also realize what I just said, maybe 1% is right. If it doesn’t resonate with you right now, throw it out and think about it in a year. It is a personal journey. We all have the same awareness but different mediums.

This does make sense.

I realize that there isn’t a “right answer” but that’s also why I’m seeking perspective.

Part of this process, for me, is decoupling oneself from right and wrong and seeking “what is” - and, like egos, conscious beings are all different, too. For me, it’s about understanding my conscious being and then how it interacts or manifests in the world.

When you say you’re trying to understand your conscious being-that is the conscious being saying that. There is only one thing that you know is 100% real. The rest-it may or may not be. Cultivate that one thing that is real and return to it always forgetting all the rest. Then you won’t have to ‘try’ and ‘understand’. What is truthful will remain and grow eventually, naturally. If you try to understand things and try to emulate gurus and others, then you will be at this for a very long time. There is one think you KNOW is real-all the rest you don’t. You cannot even say for sure you are reading what I am typing for sure.

One thing I know for sure is “I” am conscious - or should say “know” with conclusive certainty. I can also say the thing we call “time” exists.

If “I” don’t exist then this exercise would be pointless, or at least I could build a case for that.

For the gurus, I haven’t followed and premise beside a Quixote I actually read on ATS that said “there’s nothing you can know better than yourself” which resonated with me.

I actually thought I might be doing it wrong by plotting my own course for this journey - but perhaps not.

originally posted by: mysterioustranger
a reply to: VulcanWerks

I am a sensitive, and quickly jumped to end of post.

Respectfully...where now do you find yourself?

This "you" is still..you.

Honestly, I don’t know.

And I’d love to be able to answer that question but for some reason I can’t sense anything. It’s as though I shut the world off to me - aside from sensing/feeling an enormous amount of negativity.

a reply to: VulcanWerks

To be brief, your post reminds me of some challenging times when I was a little younger.

I was feeling down, and felt anxious about dealing with my classmates at school. I felt out of place, and shy about expressing myself. There's more I could say, but atm this is what your post reminded me of: Dale Carnegie wrote a book "How to Win Friends and Influence People."

Reading that, and practicing the principles I read gave me a game plan on how to better express my aspirations and provided an opportunity to practicing cultivating richer relationships. That may be old news to you, though revisiting his words from time to time has been fruitful. I feel it has helped me light some candles along the way.

originally posted by: dffrntkndfnml
a reply to: VulcanWerks

To be brief, your post reminds me of some challenging times when I was a little younger.

I was feeling down, and felt anxious about dealing with my classmates at school. I felt out of place, and shy about expressing myself. There's more I could say, but atm this is what your post reminded me of: Dale Carnegie wrote a book "How to Win Friends and Influence People."

Reading that, and practicing the principles I read gave me a game plan on how to better express my aspirations and provided an opportunity to practicing cultivating richer relationships. That may be old news to you, though revisiting his words from time to time has been fruitful. I feel it has helped me light some candles along the way.

That’s good advice for anyone to read that book - as I have read it as well!

It probably is worth revisiting in any event. Good reminders.

I didn’t think of that as outside-looking-in you’d have no idea I “feel” like I do.

I’m trying to calm my mind to understand what the energy is that literally is felt in my body and what triggered it. On my journey so far, the only way to do that is be calm and let the “answer” come to you - which is what I’m going to try.

I’ve also found that taking the “conscious” thought and articulating it in earthly terms is the most helpful thing for me.

I also should have said that when I say “conscious” I mean the “inner self” - not your human mind/ego. That seems to flip the notion of “subconscious” on its head relative to what I’ve read. The “conscious” or spiritual/soul/energy that is you is different from the “sub-conscious” you that deals with earthly matters.

I arrived it this after deeply considering the notion that we live in a “conscious driven universe” - meaning without consciousness the universe doesn’t exist. I believe that the human mind in terms of critical thinking/staying alive/etc. has all of the primitive survival information stuffed into it and controlling your emotions - which is referred to frequently - is basically using your conscious to keep your “instincts” out of your way (hence why many people get mad a lot of easily - it’s primitive and they can’t overcome that primary urge).

Gotta turn the mind off a little at this point.

a reply to: VulcanWerks

I came back to add some words about layers, though reading over your last post, I get the impression that you have an awareness of what I was going to get at.

I'm not sure if you are looking for a more mechanical understanding of the way energy flows through the body. We can explore that if you'd like. For me, it's like a flowing that goes vertically through the energy centers. Depending on what I'm trying to describe, often the challenges that come up have to do with work I'm practicing to encourage smoother flow. My emotional challenges, in the sense of healing often appear as limiting factors...

The ego is believing that we are ultra special and important and should be doing better things with our lives.

But then... well, we learn that we are in fact nobody, and therein lies the pain.

Because when reality hits, it hits hard and it hurts.

And you can deny it when it hits, but you quickly learn that to deny reality means to invite suffering into your life. And the longer you deny it the deeper and more terrible the suffering becomes, making it harder to enjoy the simplest things in life.

But you're also right in that sorting out the ego can be a highly joyous thing as well because when you accept that you are nobody, you also free yourself from all the pressure and burden to be successful and important.

And then all those things that were so small and simple and unexciting before (because you were once too big and important and had better things to do) are now also freed from expectation, and you accept that there is no security that can be established in anything... and you empty yourself and become nothing and this is the most painful part; the emptying of yourself, losing yourself, the not knowing who or what you are anymore and the starting over.

But once you've become nothing, suddenly life can be enjoyed in everything it has to offer no matter how simple or small, because there is no ego in the way to stomp out it's wonder.

This is what I gathered from your post, but I'm definitely probably projecting.

a reply to: VulcanWerks

May I pose this? I'm suggesting the opposite. My sense is this you...the newer one...is meeting up with part of itself: the "new" you. Its backwards.

I learned this long ago: You need to let go of who you are...to see who you've become.

PM anytime. Advice? Quiet. Meditate. Listen. I feel YOU feel ..it's all yet to come. And in a positive way.....listen to your heart.

Peace🙏🧘