Bidet

If you have one, you know what I'm talking about. If not, you need to get one.

It's so amazing how clean your bum can get and all you need to do is wipe the water off. None of that messy stuff, I get a nice clean up that involves very little TP so that's also a bonus, not having to fight peeps for TP.

One of the greatest inventions of our lifetime. Argue me that. I have a really cheap model and it's quite the glorious experience. It's almost sexual, the flow, and makes me pee many times instead of once....it's close enough to The G Spot In Malesthat it will get you to pee when you already have.

It takes little to get used to it. Relax your bum, let the bidet do it's job and have an absolutely awesome day, poop free.

I know someone who had one and somehow it malfunctioned or broke and the ceiling below got soaked.

We are talking about a water fountain for cats here aren't we? I am sure cats are smart enough to learn to use them for drinking fountains.

a reply to: TheSpanishArcher

Something about getting water shot up me arse doesn't do it for me...

maybe its just me though...

I've used them in a fancy hotel or 2, but(pardon the pun) I used a spray bottle of alcohol with my TP, it is probably my one obsessive-compulsive area.

A Bidet is unnecessary if one owns a plumbus.

a reply to: TheSpanishArcher

You sound like a toilet paper scruncher so I'm not surprised you need your arse washed after you've snapped one off.

Folders, like myself, have no such issues due to the military precision and anti smudging technique.

a reply to: TheSpanishArcher

If you have the means, the Toto Neorest is the Cadillac of bidets. The Washlet line is also worth it with certain models.

a reply to: TheSpanishArcher

all you need to do is wipe the water off.

Don’t act like this is a little amount of water. It pretty much drenches you.

I had one in my master bath for a couple years. Always thought it would be amazing as I’m a clean freak. I used it twice. One towel washed per dump. That’s a lot of towels to wash.

originally posted by: myselfaswell
a reply to: TheSpanishArcher

You sound like a toilet paper scruncher so I'm not surprised you need your arse washed after you've snapped one off.

Folders, like myself, have no such issues due to the military precision and anti smudging technique.

a reply to: TheSpanishArcher

You don't truly know anyone until you stand them in front of a Bidet and ask them "What's this?"



I prefer the three seashells, never missed a piece yet

a reply to: TheSpanishArcher

Sixty five years ago, my crazy aunt showed me a catalogue of toilets. She turned to the bidet section and said that that is what she wanted. I thought holy $hit auntie. It disgusted me as a young teen.

Over the years, I thought about it now and then and got over that initial revulsion and a year ago we bought one that hooked up to our toilet so easily and now, squirt squirt squirt. My TP bill went down down down. I"m on a septic system and have now extended the life of that turd catcher by years.

It's especially fine for us older folk who cannot make that reach around like we used to.

I've always wanted to ask, but never managed...
what is the deal with the butt-hole super soaker?

more importantly, how would one work without precision tuning?

Not all buttholes are created equal, what if you don't have your own private toilet? How does it work for multiple people?

I was a very naïve 12 year old boy on my first trip away from the USA in a hotel in Copenhagen when I first encountered one of these. I asked my grandpa what it was, and he explained to me that it was for washing your feet. I believed this for many years before I learned the "real" use for a bidet. My grandpa was a real card.

I hope I was not the only one who read this thread and was embarrassed to find it was not political.

I guess I need to lay off ATS for a couple of days.

Just keep some wet wipes in the bathroom.

a reply to: TheSpanishArcher

The bidet is amazing. I have a one and I love the accuracy! Spot on every time.

Ahhh the non-bidet people don’t understand the freshness we have in our pantaloons. I will never go back.

Even crocodile dundee is on the side of the bidet

“It’s for washing your backside, right?!?!”

Honestly, I like the idea and have been thinking about installing one for ages.

My first real world exposure to this apparatus was in a hotel in Incheon, South Korea. I'd heard of them but never seen one. The toilet in my room had one and, I swear, the damn control panel looked like something that should have been on the armrest of the captains chair on the Enterprise (TNG). I didn't know what it was so I punched a button (not while seated) and an arm shot out from under the seat and squirted water across the room! The possibilities intrigued me.

But the final touch was later when I was bored and flipping through channels on the TV. I came across a Korean shopping channel type program and a woman was carrying on like she'd just discovered the fountain of eternal youth. I don't speak Korean, but she had be intrigued anyway so I kept watching. She had a blue balloon the tip of which had been tied on the inside so that it formed kind of a pucker when inflated.

She commenced to smear what looked like peanut butter on that pucker then subjected that smear to the spray. The peanut butter all came clean and she was ecstatic.

At this point, I want sure if this this was the best invention since sliced bread or the work of the devil.

originally posted by: VictorVonDoom
I hope I was not the only one who read this thread and was embarrassed to find it was not political.

I guess I need to lay off ATS for a couple of days.

I saw "Bidet" and thought that somebody was making fun of "Biden."

Sophomoric perhaps, but they're are more connections between the two than the first four letters.

Traveling in the Middle East once - I think it was in Jordan - i noticed that all of the public toilets had hoses attached to the washer inlet and on the end of the hose was a pistol like you sometime see on a kitchen sink for rinsing dishes. Poor man's bidet, i guess.

a reply to: incoserv

LOLOL!!! Same experience here, except I was only peeing. In a shocking (and tragic)..."I wonder what this button does?"...moment, I went from me wizzing in the toilet to the toilet wizzing all over me! (and I mean ALL over me too!). Looked like I lost complete control of...everything!

I was afraid to come out of the bathroom! My suit was soaked from my crotch to my head (damn thing parted my hair even!), the ceiling was soaked, the far wall and door was soaked. Looked like someone went crazy. The toilet was opposite the door, so just for grins I opened the door, stepped to the side and pushed the button again. Water shot all the way down the dang hall for cripes sakes!

Now, I don't know about any other fellas, but I dang sure don't need no pressure washer like at the car wash hosin' off my sphincter, no how!