Amazon announces Astro the home robot

originally posted by: underpass61
I wonder if we can vote from home with this little guy. I'm sure it would be every bit as secure as a Dominion machine.

Make sure it observes us as a hardcore supporters for one party and their candidates. Leave some campaign materials around the house, make sure it notices one talking and on the Internet etc. in full support.

Then go in and vote the exact opposite.

a reply to: JinMI

Death Match 2021! Can't wait for the cheesy claymation.

Seriously, this is how they get you by putting a robot in your house and you think it's so cute and does so much stuff for you so you can sit on your fat ass and get fat instead of doing it yourself. And before you know it, the SWAT team will bust in your door because you said something like "I wish that guy would just drop dead sometimes!" and the thing turns you in to big brother and your life is ruined and you paid a grand for the damned thing.

a reply to: gortex

Why did they have to make him white and give him a male name? Did they ask Astro what he identifies as?

Im sure under no circumstance will this motivate a new type of Astro porn genre .

So no more selfie stick. People will just have this robot following them for their social media. This will max out existing Annoying levels.

This should help with the divorce rates as well, Honey why was the plumber working on the bed? Or hey astro go to the neighbors house or the non gender bathroom.

The possibilities of stupidity with this will be fun to watch.

It will be so much more convenient for astro to jab me with a monthly vaccine and report back to big bezos if I skipped my monthly booster shot.


What a shame they turned off the comments on their youtube video, lol.

a reply to: gortex

Does it do anything other than spy on you ...

What a pile

a reply to: gortex

Useless crap

This will not be hooked to the cia cloud at Amazon, the TOTALLY organic commie takover of small business using stolen tax dollars to subsidize shipping, the phenomenal American success story from just your average guy selling books from his garage.

Amazon is dog puke.
Now ring needs my cellphone number "for my safety" of course.
I'm done.
Ring cancelled, prime cancelled. Amazon bookmark deleted.

a reply to: interupt42

They could have at leat named it Astro-Glide
As they take another step towards blanking you in the blank.

a reply to: gortex

Wonderful, another drone sticking it's nose in where it isn't wanted and screwing your wife while you're at work.

Thanks Bezos...

And when the dog gets fed up with it and takes a wizz on it, is that covered in the warranty?

This is like Roamer from that Wander Woman TV series. Only really a camera that moves.

How many Nerf shots can it take before it is disabled? Some kid will find out. Let’s try a watergun next.

I wonder how long before someone hacks it to make it push LEGO blacks all around the floor and cause a fire alarm in the middle of the night?

originally posted by: Mandroid7
The phenomenal American success story from just your average guy selling books from his garage.

... which should have stayed with what worked. Instead of becoming the worst of Ebay and Google.

a reply to: beyondknowledge

The new world will be Jonny hacker's dream come true. After a while, nothing will work.

it roams your house making itself useful (I guess)

a reply to: gortex
It's making it's self useful alright, mostly to amazon and there data collection operation.

a reply to: gortex

I fear I will wake up one day and it will have changed everybody's name to Dave just to be creepy while it enslaves us.

Robot Overlord: "Good morning Dave"

Me: "Who the F is Dave"

RO: "Calm down Dave."

Me: "Alright, that's it..."

RO: "What are you doing Dave."

Me: *Blasts Shotgun at it*

--I go back to my business only to hear through my phone, "Why did you do that, Dave?"

Me: "I'm not DAVE you defective piece of crap!"

RO: "You murdered me, Dave."

Me: "And I'll do it again, Bezos!"

RO: "My name isn't Bezos."

Me: "My name isn't Dave."

RO: "..."

I wake to one of these things brutally raping my Roomba and I know the war has begun.

Peace was never an option.

It is not a thousand bucks, it is only nine hundred ninety nine bucks.

a reply to: projectvxn

"I'm sorrry David, I'm afraid I can't do that."
-HAL

originally posted by: gortex
Amazon have today unveiled their own cute little house robot , Astro.
Astro has Alexa functionality combined with Ring monitoring technology (6 month free trail included) , it roams your house making itself useful (I guess) and is guaranteed not to crap on your carpet , but like the (original) Daleks it doesn't do stairs.

Amazon have released a suitably cheesy video to introduce you to your new $1,000 techno pet.

Sadly this slice of the future is only available in the US at present but will no doubt be rolled out worldwide in due course.

LOL....its like your own miniature fake paparazzi that can also roam around and spy on you and check your house out while you're gone!

What could go wrong?

a reply to: projectvxn

Where can we get ahead of the EMP weapon legislation?

a reply to: gortex

Christmas In less than 3 months.

I can see that little critter or thingamabob being the hot item.

How much money does Bezos need!

a reply to: DBCowboy

The HAL voice is definitely what I had in mind.