Who CARES!?

With nothing to do today but go to dinner with my wife’s friends, I was reminded of something that happened last month while at dinner with them. I suppose this is something that most normal people don’t worry about. But it bothers me. So I have to ask: Is it me?

First the question: When you ‘split’ a meal with someone, is it correct to assume that means that you and whomever you’re sharing it with can pick off the plate at random?

Here’s the background….
My wife and I are at a restaurant (a Yuppie kinda place) with four of her long-time friends. Everyone but me and one of my wife’s friends orders; this friend—let’s call her ‘Stacey’—and I can’t make up our minds. We both want a pizza, but not a whole pizza. I suggest that Stacey and I “split a whole pizza”. She wants caramelized onions and goat cheese; I want Margheretta. We agree that both toppings sound so good we can’t choose one or the other. So we agree to split the pizza, one half onions, one half Margheretta. Done!

The pizza arrives, everyone’s tucking in to their wonderful meal, everyone’s laughing and happy. I eat a few of ‘my’ slices, Stacey eats a few of ‘her’ slices. I grab one of her slices and eat it. She grabs one of my slices and eats it. We both agree it was a good decision to split the pizza. Then I grab another (small) slice of hers and eat it. She still had four more pieces.
While I’m eating the second slice of her onion topped pizza, she loudly says “What are you doing!? That’s my pizza!” I almost choked! I was mortified.
So then I said “I thought we were sharing a pizza!”
She says “Yeah, but that doesn’t mean you get to eat MY pizza.”
I tell her “I’m sorry! Whenever I split something with someone, I mean ‘sharing’. You’re welcome to another slice of mine”

She just scowls at the pizza and drops the subject.

No-one said a word. Talk about me being embarrassed! AITA?

originally posted by: Thoughtcrime
With nothing to do today but go to dinner with my wife’s friends, I was reminded of something that happened last month while at dinner with them. I suppose this is something that most normal people don’t worry about. But it bothers me. So I have to ask: Is it me?

First the question: When you ‘split’ a meal with someone, is it correct to assume that means that you and whomever you’re sharing it with can pick off the plate at random?

Here’s the background….
My wife and I are at a restaurant (a Yuppie kinda place) with four of her long-time friends. Everyone but me and one of my wife’s friends orders; this friend—let’s call her ‘Stacey’—and I can’t make up our minds. We both want a pizza, but not a whole pizza. I suggest that Stacey and I “split a whole pizza”. She wants caramelized onions and goat cheese; I want Margheretta. We agree that both toppings sound so good we can’t choose one or the other. So we agree to split the pizza, one half onions, one half Margheretta. Done!

The pizza arrives, everyone’s tucking in to their wonderful meal, everyone’s laughing and happy. I eat a few of ‘my’ slices, Stacey eats a few of ‘her’ slices. I grab one of her slices and eat it. She grabs one of my slices and eats it. We both agree it was a good decision to split the pizza. Then I grab another (small) slice of hers and eat it. She still had four more pieces.
While I’m eating the second slice of her onion topped pizza, she loudly says “What are you doing!? That’s my pizza!” I almost choked! I was mortified.
So then I said “I thought we were sharing a pizza!”
She says “Yeah, but that doesn’t mean you get to eat MY pizza.”
I tell her “I’m sorry! Whenever I split something with someone, I mean ‘sharing’. You’re welcome to another slice of mine”

She just scowls at the pizza and drops the subject.

No-one said a word. Talk about me being embarrassed! AITA?

I have been in that situation with my daughter and friends before (and them with me and my food). What I do: Once I eat my part...I don't eat any more. If they quit eating & say they are full, but there is some pizza left...then I would ask if they care if I have another slice of their pizza if they are full and not going to finish it. Sometimes they want to take it home, and sometimes they say no go ahead.

I always assume if we're splitting a pizza but going half and half on the toppings that one of us prefers to eat one set while one of us prefers to eat the other set. That doesn't mean that no one wants anything to do with the other half, only that we each want the lion's share of the preferred topping.

So she was likely all right with you eating the first slice because she was thinking she probably wanted some of the Margherita herself and considered it fair trade, but when you kept going on hers, she was likely starting to wonder why you had bothered with the Margherita instead of going all-in on what she got.

I probably would have asked if the second slice exchange was OK to take before doing it.

Yeah.....no.
Share and share alike!!!
She’s an ass.....prissy cow.

“Live n learn”





a reply to: Thoughtcrime

a reply to: Thoughtcrime

Here’s my advice : NEVER allow ANYONE to shame you.

If you were being a drunk jackass, that’s another story. Doesn’t sound like that’s the case though.

If it were me, I’d tell my wife that her friends better pull their heads out of their asses, if she wants me to ever hang with them again. If she doesn’t agree, then she’s probably doing the same, and you’ve got a bigger problem on your hands.

It's because of situations like this that I wouldn't split a food order. You really don't know where the line in the sand is for other people and your mistake was assuming it was the same as yours. However, I think embarrassing you wasn't called for either. She could have either just said..."Guess I get more of yours then," with a laugh...Or just made sure what was left got divided equally. There's no need to make you feel bad for sharing something you agreed to, especially flipping half the bill. Over the top IMHO

a reply to: Thoughtcrime

Sharing is caring....if I had 5 slices and you ate 4 of them, good!!
I'll never look down on someone for eating.

I know what its like to starve.

a reply to: Thoughtcrime

She might have been trying to be polite when she said she couldn't choose between them because "they both sounded so good"? And then when you got her choice as half of the pizza she probably assumed it was hers alone because it was her choice while you assumed "they both sound too good to choose one over the other" meant that you both wanted 2 slices of each kind.

As for her "getting on to you", I wouldn't take offence as that's just some personal demon she has where she feels like she's being taken advantage of or something. If I were you I would make a peace offering next time to show you didn't mean anything by it so she doesn't see you as the demon she's battling. And maybe tell her it's a peace offering too - that you thought you were going half as in 2 slices of each kind for both of you so she doesn't think you're patronizing her. If you do that out in the open it will seem genuine and make her the monster. XD

Shoulda' just rammed your finger down your throat and gacked back her slice of pizza!

"Sorry about that!" **GACK-MOOAAWLGG-ACK** "There you go! Happy now?"

"Gave you some extra beer and a couple fruit loops with it for free!"

Wow! Um ok. I have not happened to come into that situation before. Half is half. It should not matter what pieces as long as half was eaten the flavor should not matter. You two decided to share.

I am guessing that more communication was needed about the pizza. She might have said no. Then you would have been able to avoid a temper tantrum on her part. If she only wanted just half a pizza what she could have said is, "I am only hungry enough for half a pizza. Could we eat a pizza together? My half is going to be...". Then she would have laid claim to it and in doing so would have let you know she was not into sharing your side as well. Trying the other side of the pizza from both of you implied that it was an open meal ( meaning g the whole pizza was available to both of you) wires crossed.

Communication is key for most transactions between people. We learn it young,

originally posted by: Flyingclaydisk
Shoulda' just rammed your finger down your throat and gacked back her slice of pizza!

"Sorry about that!" **GACK-MOOAAWLGG-ACK** "There you go! Happy now?"

Gross! But almost needed!

FOOD FIIIIIIIGHT!!!

a reply to: Thoughtcrime

What a bitch.

a reply to: Flyingclaydisk

This is the greatest idea ever.

One of the pitfalls of ordering pizza.
It is traditionally a shared entre.

Split does not mean shared.
I would have simply stabbed your hand with a fork.
I definitely would not ever split anything with you again.

Thanks for the warning.

Personally, if I don't know the person, I'm not 'splitting' my food with them.

However, if I was splitting food with someone, it would be made clear beforehand, what 'splitting' actually means.

a reply to: TruthJava

Good approach. Normally that’s exactly what I do. But in this case, there was still plenty of pizza on both halves. I just wanted to switch it up a bit, so I took a slice from ‘her’ half…and another…expecting she’d do likewise ‘cause she had also said she couldn’t make up her mind which topping she wanted.

a reply to: ketsuko

Exactly! The lions share. Not like I was going to eat ALL of her side

a reply to: Flyingclaydisk

LOL! Yup. Coulda done that! But I think my wife would have something to say about that.

a reply to: cre8chaos

Yeah, you’re right. Lesson learned. Communication was key. It just felt like I’d be the selfish one for strictly enforcing a line of demarcation, and arranging a Mutual Assured Destruction pact with her, should one party overstep the agreed upon borders 😜