Here I am again

Hi, my name is David and I'm an alcoholic.

Back in 2000, I was drinking a fifth of whiskey a day. At least. I would wake up in the morning and take a couple of shots just to stop the shakes. I got so bad that I was in the hospital for 30 days, drying out. I had what is called alcoholic neuropathy, which means my legs stopped working. Nurses had to help me go to the bathroom and wipe my butt for me.

I got help and didn't drink for 18 years.

Damn me if I ain't here again.....and I don't know why.

My life is not perfect, but I have a beautiful new bride that loves and supports me, but I got into this stupid sh** again and I can't stop. It's 10:00 A.M. and I've had 6 beers. I am terrified of screwing this up so bad she'll never forgive me. She loves me. I know she loves but goddammit David get your sh** together and STOP.

It's gonna hurt. I know it's gonna hurt because I've been through this before, but I have to do what's best for my family.

a reply to: DAVID64

You BOTH deserve more. If you kicked it for 18 years, you can do it again. Ask God for help when you are feeling weak.

a reply to: DAVID64

Yeah, just quit.

Especially Beer. Disgusting.


I mean, if drinking causes paralysis and you have to have a nurse wipe your ass, that is a a good reason to throw that crap away.

a reply to: DAVID64

I wish you well for your battle ahead David , 18 years sober is a marvelous achievement that you've done once so you know you can do it again , seek help again my friend.

a reply to: DAVID64

You kicked it once so you can do it again.

a reply to: DAVID64

Yeah David, as others have mentioned, you have kicked it once, for a looooong time, and you can do it again. You can do it permanently. You have what it takes, man.

I wish strength to you.

If you did it once, then you know you have what it takes to do it again. So you are halfway there. The only question is whether or not you are motivated enough to make it happen.

It sounds like the last time, you almost had to put yourself under to get that motivation.

This time, the stakes aren't as high yet, so can you muster the motivation to save what you admit is a good life? I hope so, and I think you can.

a reply to: DAVID64

There isn't a nurse hot enough to make me want her to wipe my ass.
Please get it back together...for you and your new bride.

a reply to: DAVID64

goddammit David get your sh** together and STOP.

This.

I have a family member, younger than me who came close to death from his drinking at the age of 24. He was drinking a 26 a day on top of an 8 pack of strong beer or whatever else he could get ahold of. He'd been drinking hard since he was 15-16. He ended up with pancreatitis and was told if he didn't stop, he was going to die. He managed to stop totally for 5 years. But he's started drinking again and it's worrying the # out of everyone in the family.

Do it for your family. If you did it once, you can do it again. The booze isn't worth losing the people you love and care about.

a reply to: DAVID64

You can’t do it on your own, get some help
It’s difficult but take a first step, not just talking and thinking, take a step

Hope the best bro, just have to do something

a reply to: DAVID64
You are already on the path to recovery good sir. You see the problem, admit you have it, and know you've got to do something about it. I believe you will succeed because of that, and because you have done it before, so you have the upper hand and determination.

a reply to: DAVID64

Damn bro. I know that feeling.

7 years sober this past June.
You did 18 years.
Thats not a small feat and you should be proud of yourself.

Lets see you do 20 now.

a reply to: DAVID64
Just stop. Put some mind numbing crap on your TV; like Gold Rush or Naked and Afraid. Something that you find interesting. The alcohol has the loudest voice right now- tell it to go f* off. You know you just need a few days of sobriety to come back to the living side of life. You can do it- I have faith in you and apparently your love does too.

a reply to: DAVID64

Start ramping down. dont keep any extra in the house. Some people temporarily take kratom to kick the habit. Some use weed. Both are legal here. I dont use anything myself. If you do use something, only use it to soften the initial dry out period. You dont need a substitute

Dont use too much caffeine while drying out

Exercise will help you . It releases the endorphins you crave.

examine your life, and see what is trigger it now.

The best help you can get is from a great physician. Not just any physician, but "The Great Physician" Thats Christ alone. Call out to him, and ask him to have the Holy Spirit help you through this.

You can do this

My husband had been sober almost 23 years when he relapsed. He kept telling me he just didn't understand. Didn't know why it happened then. Things were great. We had been married a few years. We had our 1st spawn. All that he said he wanted in his life was happening. The counselor said my husband didn't think he deserved happiness so it was no surprise that he tried to tear it apart. Self sabotage. Could that play a part with you?

My husband went to treatment. Got clean. Did it again a few years after, when spawn #3 was born. Its not just getting sober, that's short term. Its staying clean. That's the hard part. You have to learn to trust someone. Anyone that can help. When you feel that urge to drink, first talk to someone. The thoughts and urges will always come. No matter how long its been. You have to learn to recognize the slide so you can stop the fall.

I wish you well. You can do this.

a reply to: Onlyyouknow

This right here.

Find something else to engage your attention away from that niggling need to drink.

a reply to: DAVID64

I am also an addict.

Even on this board your post takes a lot of courage and honesty.

Whatever inner strength you mustered to quit the first time, whatever fecal matter had to be cleaned up, whatever promises have been broken, whatever loved ones that have been hurt, whatever bills haven't been payed, whatever missed responsibilities, whatever loss relationships, whatever disappointments.......THINK ABOUT THIS, DO YOU WANT THAT AGAIN?

Harsh but true.

You know you can do it, now throw it out and DO IT.

I'll pray for you bro and if you ever want to DM me, feel free.

a reply to: DAVID64
I have been doing this sobriety thing one day at a time for over 30 years. All you have is today and tomorrow isn't guaranteed. Get support go to AA or whatever you have to do because we only get one shot at this life and that is it. You are in charge and your decisions are the direction you have chosen. Remember addiction is the only diseases that tell you, you don't have a disease (and I will not debate this). Basically, breathe in and breathe out and don't drink in between is how I do it because I can't drink ever again because for me ....to drink is to die...... both mentally and in time physically. Good luck on your journey, I truly wish you the best.

a reply to: DAVID64

It's a lot different than 18 years ago there is so much help available for Alcoholics and Addicts.

You don't have to do this on your own mate seek help , You already feel it you know what you need to do so do it .

Do it for her , I've had my own demons in the past and i kicked it for Love there is no better motivation .

Hay brother go to meetings and start ASAP . It’s never to late and man the truth will set you free.

Alcohol is a powerful adversary especially due to the chemical dependency that take places.

It’s hard man so god damn hard. I’ve had to cut my own father out of my life to protect myself and my family because of his drinking. I myself am a recovering alcoholic with a few years sobriety.

I really feel you for you. These are extremely trying times for everyone and it creates perfect isolating condition which breed our addictive tendencies.

It’s a lethal combination.

Seek help and lean on others. The AA program has helped many many alcoholics. Sometimes it’s nice just to listen and relate. It’s so sad that I’m these times when addicts need support more then ever that in some places they cannot gather properly for support.


a reply to: DAVID64