post random stuff here instead of starting a new thread if you wish

originally posted by: Terpene
Because they are pantomime jokes?

Is that you Chris Walken?

a reply to: AugustusMasonicus

Only when drunk...

a reply to: pthena

If you throw up a little into your mouth when burping, is that like a diarrea speckled fart?

a reply to: Terpene

Spit it out! That is diarrhea! Tastes like #!

a reply to: ThatDamnDuckAgain

I am a bilingual illiterate. More of a polyglot actually.
But thankfully my wife is fluent in ASL in a whole bunch of different languages.

a reply to: IAMTAT

Let me run over to Indiana, they won’t sell Everclear in Ohio...

a reply to: Ahabstar

They do in Pennsylvania

a reply to: Terpene

As it is written on the toilet stall wall:

Here I sit all broken hearted
tried to burp but really sharted.

Edit to add:

I think that could use a little more work.
As a gag it didn't quite come out right.

a reply to: pthena

It’s okay. Sometimes things are named long before the meaning changes.

"Things that make you go hmmmmm" --Hunter and his COUSIN at THE BEACH 🤪👇

twitter.com...

so I wanted a cheap superfine grit stone to polish my straight razors to a true mirror.
So I harvested some slate while swimming at a slate quarry. It sucks. After a week of lapping it keeps peeling off layers of BS. It's 6k grit at best.
Hello new scratches!

a reply to: PapagiorgioCZ

You need to go to an industrial electrical supply house, the older the better, ask for a renewable fuse. 15 or 30 amp 600 volt. The 30 will be bigger but more expensive. They are made of an unglazed porcelain tube with brass ends. You can take the element out and give it back to them. Then peal off the label and you have a very fine hone.

You can also look on eBay for knobs and tubes. It is an antique wireing system. You want a tube. It also is unglazed porcalin and will work but it is shorter than the fuse and has a enlarged ring on one end and no brass ends.

a reply to: Tulpa

I was not trying to start an argument. You just described all of them. Was it in color or glorious black and white?

originally posted by: beyondknowledge
a reply to: Tulpa

I was not trying to start an argument. You just described all of them. Was it in color or glorious black and white?

Yes. The one with Brimforth Willery.

a reply to: pthena

If I wanted to highlight the pun I would have bolded "gag" too.

a reply to: Terpene

I've been working on my comedy routine for a while. Some day...

One day back in 1978 I was in this house when the phone rang.
I picked it up. "Hello?"

"Hi. This is George Carlin. Is Elie available?"

"Not right now. Hey I parked in your spot at the Tower Records in Las Vegas a couple of weeks ago."

"What?" He asked.

"It didn't say assigned or reserved or any thing, just had your name on it."

"Who are you?" he then asked "And how do you know Elie?"

"I don't know her per se, I'm the burglar. Someone's pulling up now, could be her. Call back in a couple of minutes. I'm heading out the back window now."

"What?"

"Just kidding. Here she is." then to her "It's George Carlin."

a reply to: beyondknowledge

porcelain is good stuff, very hard. BUT I need a flat stone not a round rod. I cant hone a razor like a knife or scythe. I'm trying to lap a ceramic tile and it takes forever without a flat diamond plate, surface plate or some diy machinery. Even then it's an art. I lap it on and off for a month or two and it's still not flat and smooth. Did I say flat? I mean reasonably flat.
I dont think there's many flat things in the universe.

a reply to: pthena
The owner of a painter business wen't to the local job center and asked if there are any professional painters available. The clerk at the desk tells him there aren't any on the lookout. As the owner is about to turn around and go, he see's a group of people in long white coats.

"What about them?", he asked the clerk, who joked "Oh these are gynecologist, not painters, but you can ask them anyways, haha". The next day, the painter business owner is back: "I want all your available gynecologist!"

"Do you reshape your business?", the clerk asked. "No! See, yesterday we were at a customers site who's on vacation, but forgot to bring the key's for the house. I told him to wait until I come back, when I then came back, he already had taped and painted the whole staircase through the post-slit in the door."

(Here, professional painters wear white coats).

a reply to: ThatDamnDuckAgain

post-slit in the door huh?

I'm gonna have a hard time working up a come back to that.

yeah. And I dream of a reverse plated diamond plate as one described by this Indian Neil deGrease Tyson in a class

YT vid Mod-01 Lec-22 Coating of Monolayer Abrasive Grain by Electro Plating

Not even 3M seems to be selling those. The price would be BS anyway. How would you make one? Electro-plating one plate to another... how'd you get the electrolyte between them? Once I figure the process out I'l get myself a plate flat to optical flatness and I'll DIM and I'll make the world flat (here and there)