It's ok to be ordinary, says Alain De Botton

a reply to: pthena
There are bad people out there for every kind of taste.

But yes, being registered on a portal that is related to the topic, I am one of "the coverage angels" that will activate a chain of reactions when someone I take under my feathers hasn't sent the right text at the right time.

It works like this:
I am registered on the portal just like everyone else put I provide a "checkup" service. That is, someone approaches me about "covering" them during their first date or session. That means I will either be reachable on the phone or sitting two tables next to you, without the other one knowing.

When I know that you both would now leave the cafe to initiate the play at the place that I have been informed about upfront (everyone of the two needs to drive there seperate). There's a signal I expect and if it doesn't arrive I straight up call the police.

I have done this a lot of times and I never had to call the police although one time I was already going for the regional police contact entry in my phone, I got the phone call that I had expected.

Like you call me and tell me everything is fine, that's the signal. You were supposed to tell me that you ate a banana this morning, so I know you're in trouble. I will then ask if you're sure if everything is fine and if I don't hear the word banana, cavalry is going to be sent to you. Because you could be forced to say everything is fine.

a reply to: ThatDamnDuckAgain

So you do a helpful and necessary service.

But should you talk about your methods here? Where the bad people can discover them?

a reply to: pthena
It's an open secret, I did not invent the system.

Even in a kidnapping situation, a BDSM session that went wrong or if the one covered just get's the feeling to bug out, they tell the other person they have to do a "cover-call". Since both drove there alone and I know the address before they even go there, it put's a huge amount of safety on top.

Because normally the other party knows about the system too but you don't tell the person that you're using it. It's going to be like "oh btw, untie me because I need to do a cover call until 10pm.

Someone asking about being covered = red flag
Someone trying to change the location afterwars = huge red flag

Add: The signal is unique each time, it's always different and I need to hear the exact words, something stupid. It's never "everything is fine" because that kind of would defeat the idea.

a reply to: geezlouise
I'm slow. It sometimes takes me a few days to catch on.

Because I understand what it means to be so desperate for love, for attention, desperate to feel like I belong, to be part of something big and beautiful and important. I am exactly the person that he's talking about, the person who has not been able to find the honor and respect in normal ways... and therefore I'm needing so much more stuff in order to feel like I have the right to exist.

It's not unlike the jokes about how if you don't pay the right kind of attention to your daughter, then she'll grow up and become a stripper.

It's relatable in other ways, the giant egos struggling to be heard and known (including my own ego), due to a great deficit in one's natural state, a great loss that's been experienced... great suffering.

Whether or not people can face this about themselves... I know it to be true(of myself at the very least, and others if I dare be so bold).

There are some reasons that I post on ATS. A big reason is to show myself, then see what the reactions are. I have discovered, or come to realize that there is no "something big and beautiful and important" that I fit in with, as far as religious, political, social, cultural, counter-cultural things go.

Sure, I agree with some herds on some things but don't agree with those same herds on others. It is frustrating when I see a herd going all "Down with ___!" and I'm like "Well I'm not in favor of that person or thing either, but for different reasons, and those reasons are things that the herd would actually like about that thing or person. I could jump in and join in the "down with" chant, but it would be under false pretenses.

The best policy would be to remain silent. But I have upon occasion just gone along for the ATS stars. That's what matters right? Stars and Flags!

I'm needing so much more stuff in order to feel like I have the right to exist.

Yeah. Me to. But what is worse, seeking material things to show or social acclaim? At least material things are sellable or dump-able. Acclaim though, that's well nigh impossible to shed because it's really up to those others to let you go or not.

The right to exist is a temporary thing at best, an illusion at worst. An attitude to take could be something like, "Hey, I didn't make this World. I didn't choose when or where or to whom I was born. I've got as much right to exist as everyone else. No one has more right to live than I do!"

Of course that totally flies in the face of those religions that teach that you did choose all those things, and you did make the World, and everything that happens is on you. That's why I oppose those religions.

See! I just can't help myself. I just keep putting myself out there!

Many times in my life some group has said to me: "Yes. You can fit right in. Join us." I end up leaving.

Here's a bonus track from Neil Diamond too. It's one of my secret weapons.

originally posted by: geezlouise
a reply to: YouSir

LOOOOL... heres one more question, why do I love you so much?

Ummm…because…you…are…the most female…



YouSir

a reply to: YouSir

Maybe... but also maybe it's because you, yousir, are actually in fact the most female of all females that ever graced ATS? Just maybe...

originally posted by: pthena
Acclaim though, that's well nigh impossible to shed because it's really up to those others to let you go or not.

I've written a similar thing elsewhere, in regards to a much darker topic... the idea is kind of triggering in fact, looool. But this would only apply if you are actually seeking acclaim, because if you don't seek acclaim, if you don't care what people are saying... then they have no hold over you in the sense that they don't get to decide if you have a right to live or not. Because you're the one who gets to decide. Because you're claiming autonomy and because you seek your own acclaim above all others.

I'm always chasing that freedom, but I'm also honest enough to say... I have not been able to get rid of the part of me that still cares. A part of me still cares. Yeah.

Thank you for the thoughtful response and music.

a reply to: geezlouise

I have not been able to get rid of the part of me that still cares. A part of me still cares.

I only brag about being a loner.

I remember sitting on that lake shore, the wind making ripples over the water. I was thinking, "Yes! All alone, now I can really be me."

After a while I got bored so I went back into town.

a reply to: pthena

Hahaha, I love it.

I relate.

It's either 'I am not enough' or 'I am too much'......

a reply to: Itisnowagain

Yeah... it resonates. Specially this anti-dualiaty stuff, I've been on that kick because all of this "me vs you" mentality feels so dangerous. And the chasing to become something that is worthy, chasing the something that promises to make you whole. I do that, I do all of that, I admit it.

a reply to: geezlouise
Non duality means one without a second.......the 'one' is what actually is.

Just this......

What's happening is happening.....in the immediacy...... this that is already.....this, this, this.