It's ok to be ordinary, says Alain De Botton

a reply to: geezlouise

Lol for me nothing is to overt but ATS mods might step in.

BDSM has less to do with sex, what you describe would be Bondage and sex. For me, the latter never happened because of trust (add: during a BDSM session). But I can tell you how the big o feels being tied up. Imagine the tighten your legs thing but your whole body to the power of ten.

PM me if you are curious and didn't get the tighten legs reference.

Being in a BDSM session of course I play with sexuality but as a vehicle to show who's in charge. You can look, come close but not touch except I demand it, makes it more intense for the sub when they are allowed to touch. And if it's just a brief touch while they hand me something.. but that's just a myriad of things happening and is already painting the old dogmatic BDSM/Dominatrix clichee for most that have no clue, are prejudiced (not saying you are) or oversaturated by the wrong impression the media gives.

a reply to: geezlouise

But I'm not blind to the fact that it also can be dangerous for me, lol. For me personally anyway... I have some dark tastes, darker curiosities... it's weird.

So I do have some other assets: Memory and Imagination. So if my prostitute friend tells me things, then I can imagine and even fantasize. For me that's enough. The fantasy may quite possibly surmount the actuality.

Memory: My prostitute friend died many years ago, but I still remember the things she told me. We never had sex, because, as she said, "I know you. I know what kind of guy you are. I know what the consequences would be." And of course I also knew. I'm freaking possessive when it comes to sex. Like "If you aren't all mine, then you aren't mine at all." That's how bad I am. And so I've been celibate these 25 years.

It keeps me out of trouble I'm fairly sure.

Friends.

originally posted by: ThatDamnDuckAgain
a reply to: geezlouise
Imagine the tighten your legs thing but your whole body to the power of ten.

That sounds hot, not sure I fully understand though so I'm pming right away for further explanation. Lol!

a reply to: pthena

Celibate as in... like not even helping yourself out once in awhile?

The possessive stuff is attractive to me. I think I'm naturally inclined to be monogamous and I prefer one sexual partner and I prefer for him to be mine only as well. But I am pretty open as well to the idea of a partner being sexual with others, and even being sexual with others together. Like I won't be sexual with others on my own but there have been times when I felt so connected that I didn't care what he did with others. As long as my connection feels secure to him, then I'm ok. In reality, my private relationship with him has nothing to do with his relationships with others, it's separate, I guess it's a compartmentalization kind of thing. Idk if it's right or wrong, but I've experienced it personally.

I'm really opening up tonight! TMI geezlouise, tmi! And idc!

a reply to: ThatDamnDuckAgain

Impact on society with words? Forget it, society is deaf. Good deeds impact

Over here in the U.S.A. we get exposed to lots of great literature in High School. At least I hope it's still like that. Well in any case, back in my day, the Thornton Wilder play Our Town was mandatory, I think.

Well anyway, there is a quote, okay I'll just copy/paste from Wikipedia:

Emily returns to Earth to relive one day, her 12th birthday. She joyfully watches her parents and some of the people of her childhood for the first time in years, but her joy quickly turns to pain as she realizes how little people appreciate the simple joys of life. The memory proves too painful for her and she realizes that every moment of life should be treasured. When she asks the Stage Manager if anyone truly understands the value of life while they live it, he responds, "No. The saints and poets, maybe – they do some." Emily returns to her grave next to Mrs. Gibbs and watches impassively as George kneels weeping over her. The Stage Manager concludes the play and wishes the audience a good night.
Our Town

I got so wrapped up there that I forgot who I was responding to. Okay, now I'm sorted,

A saint or poet, yeah, is that too much to ask for? Just to understand just a little bit, the value of life while they live it.

As far as grumpy goes, I'm really apposed to Zen Buddhism and it's Hindu counterpart, preaching emptiness and there is no past or future. Life is full. Pretending that it isn't is ignoring reality.

Saint? Poet? Hell, I'll settle for being a broke-dick philosopher then.

And now I'm ranting. So it's nap time for me.

a reply to: geezlouise

like not even helping yourself out once in awhile?

Let's not be ridiculous. Fantasies should not be totally left to go to waste.

That just caught my attention. I'll have read the rest after my nap.

I think I'm naturally inclined to be monogamous and I prefer one sexual partner and I prefer for him to be mine only as well.

When I was a young boy, I accidently heard this song on the radio, when it first came out. Then I accidently lived it.


Okay. Now I'll take a nap.



And just so you know. It was six years between Melinda and Sue. Not a quick rebound.

Okay. Now for that nap.

a reply to: pthena
That quote reads intriguing, that book's on my list! Let's see if I get a copy shipped, I want to read it in it's original language also don't expect there's a translation.

I paraphrase this out of my mind as an answer to your grumpy comment (don't forget it's all just text and therefor my impression is very likely wrong)

I asked god if I am now allowed to enter heaven. He smiled and shook his head, instead he asked me to when I want to go.
"To when?" I asked.
"Yes, to when. I can sent you to ancient Egypt if you want, or something more futuristic? Should be 8000 A.D. according to the time when you crucified yourself"
"I crucified myself?"
"Yes, it's all you. Everything good and bad you have ever done, you did it to yourself. Every person you ever met, was you."
"But why, that doesn't make sense?"
"It does, if you want to become like me".

Nap well

originally posted by: geezlouise
I'm pming right away for further explanation. Lol!

Check out the answer

a reply to: pthena

I hope you enjoy your nap/had an enjoyable one.

That is a long break in-between! I have taken long breaks as well... very long.

Why do I love Neil Diamond's eyebrows so much? Is it because I wish I had them for myself? Dig the song too!

originally posted by: ThatDamnDuckAgain
Check out the answer

*checks the answer*

*blushes and giggles like a little school girl*

a reply to: geezlouise
It's all done Taking a nap now too.

Wish everyone who reads this a nice day and like we say here "hau rein" "keep bashing/rocking it"

a reply to: geezlouise

What an interesting thread. I've always been interested in women and their psychology.

Lord knows, my approach was, lets' just say inadequate. Perhaps if I wasn't so Ordinary!

I'm willing to learn how to take the next step into the most kinky sh!t you can imagine.

On a personal level, my imagination is quite fertile.

I know it's a corny correlation, but the drugs are kikinin and I can't even spell correctly however I can think of perfect background music.

a reply to: olaru12

Revenge of the could of been a has been-s

It was a happening.
It was a thing.
You really had to be there
to know what I mean.

Started out all
what we could have been
to what it is we seen

then rage,
or
rave,
whatever they call those things.

From:

to:

but in between
well
you just had to be there

a reply to: geezlouise

Yeah it’s the celebrity culture we all grew up in, chasing ‘the American dream’ advertisers telling you need this or that in order to feel good, in order to be respected. Social media has enabled everyone to get dopamine hits from likes and views.. no wonder there are so many people abusing substances...

Turn off, tune out, and drop out.

a reply to: geezlouise


Ummm…Geeze…Louise…

Doesn’t being extra ordinary…mean you just have an additional helping of ordinary…?

And doesn’t gifted mean…special…?

And doesn’t…special…mean sub ordinary…?

But if your special…doesn’t that mean your…of…a species…?

If your…of a species…doesn’t that make you…specious…?



These are indeed…questions…







YouSir

Again, I am going to differ somewhat.

We are none of us ordinary in the sense that all of us is a unique individual, and no one else will be exactly like us in terms of looks or preferences, habits, etc.

Now just because none of us is ordinary does not mean that any of us will end up being extraordinary in terms of super talented at any one thing, or famous, or anything else that will make us noteworthy in terms of historical significance. But at the same time, no one else is or can be you. And all of us can excel at being us, but if you never figure out who or what you are, then you will never excel at that, either.

Too many people depend on others to tell them who they should be, what they should like, how they should think, etc., and I think there is a lot of deep unhappiness because of it.

a reply to: olaru12

Lol! Why crying though?

a reply to: surfer_soul

Yep, celebrity culture, that's what Alan Watts was talking about.

originally posted by: geezlouise
a reply to: olaru12

Lol! Why crying though?

S&M elicits tears of joy...sort of....

Spank me momma...I've been a very bad boy!!

How far are you willing to take this?

a reply to: YouSir

LOOOOL... heres one more question, why do I love you so much?

a reply to: ketsuko

Agreed.

originally posted by: olaru12
How far are you willing to take this?

As far as it takes of course.

Which is now. Lol.

As far as it takes of course.

Just and advice from someone who had to build up, messed up submissives again because they have been mentally hurt and destroyed in ways you can not fathom currently.

The bond between top/bottom needs to be 100% trust. I'd be very careful with the topic, I feel you are a lovely and emotional person. Don't listen to strangers on the internet that promise you stuff or how far they would go, it will only hurt you in way's you don't see now.

Nothing personal against you olaru12. It's just I've seen what happens.

a reply to: ThatDamnDuckAgain

I read that post by olaru12 and geezlouise's reply.
So I did a Google search S&M for ordinary people.

There were some off-topic hits but something jumped out on account of geezlouise saying how dangerous curiosity could be.

Nonfiction Book Review: ANYONE YOU WANT ME TO BE: A True Story of Sex and Death on the Internet

Douglas (The Cases That Haunt Us)—criminal profiler, ex-FBI agent, true crime writer and supposedly the model for a key character in Thomas Harris's The Silence of the Lambs— presents the sordid and horrific case of John Robinson, "the nation's—if not the world's—first Internet serial killer." A chubby middle-aged father of four with a long history as a con man, Robinson explored the local s&m underground of Kansas City while skillfully using Internet chat groups to lure sexually adventurous women to Kansas, where he killed six of them, and perhaps five more, before his arrest in 2000. Douglas's methodical pace and his careful accretion of detail to describe bizarre crimes committed by seemingly ordinary people
...
While much of this is fascinating, Douglas too often breaks his tone to issue simplistic warnings to the reader ("Nobody can any longer afford to be naive when it comes to cyberspace")