Fuming!!!

I'm not at all surprised with how many people on this site can't understand satire.

Poor Britney ... all strung out on bath salts, killin' alligators, might even have a pet iguana ...

originally posted by: ketsuko
Poor Britney ... all strung out on bath salts, killin' alligators, might even have a pet iguana ...

She has ferrets. Bubba and Duane.

I'm not at all surprised with how many people on this site can't understand satire.

hope it doesnt change, half of the comedy comes from those replies.

originally posted by: IAMTAT

originally posted by: ketsuko
Poor Britney ... all strung out on bath salts, killin' alligators, might even have a pet iguana ...

She has ferrets. Bubba and Duane.

Oh, now that is smart. They can go down in holes and kill things for her. Britney and her killer ferrets for teh w1n.

originally posted by: DougHole64

originally posted by: lakenheath24
Does Jimmy Saville have a brother?




a reply to: TerryMcGuire

Vile!

Oh yes : His brother Vile Saville, and his sister Cadillac Saville !

Thanks for the funny OP, but some of the replies were just ridiculously hilarious !

originally posted by: Nothin

originally posted by: DougHole64

originally posted by: lakenheath24
Does Jimmy Saville have a brother?




a reply to: TerryMcGuire

Vile!

Oh yes : His brother Vile Saville, and his sister Cadillac Saville !

Thanks for the funny OP, but some of the replies were just ridiculously hilarious !

I would like to confirm for legal reasons that I have never interacted with Jimmy Saville although I did once send a letter to Mr Saville on behalf of my son asking if he could fix it for him to meet Nicole Kidman. Alas he never replied and thus he ended up with some crazy reiki woman.

a reply to: DougHole64

Kidman :are you kidding me man ?

Crazy reiki women are awesome in my books.

Once had a pen-pal program start-up, back in sixth grade.

Much to my surprise : my letter was captured by my teacher, and somehow ended-up in my parents hands, with a lot of redactions written in red-ink...

Don't remember the scolding now, but remember the fun writing that letter... hehehe !

a reply to: DougHole64


That’s hilarious 🤣

originally posted by: DougHole64
Well, well, well, I am fuming! As many of you know, I am famed for my good nature and selfless generosity on these forums and so it won’t surprise anyone to learn that earlier in the year I decided to sponsor a less fortunate child (through a well known charity who will remain nameless here). In return for my sponsorship I would receive regular communications in the form of letters.

The first child I was given was a six year old named Britney based in Florida, USA, which I immediately refused as I won’t support anyone based in Florida on principle. The second child was a young boy named Todd, based in Texas. I have a lot of respect for the lone star state and so on this occasion I was happy to accept and looked forward to imparting my wisdom on this young man.

The first communication I received was a drawing by Todd of a little bumble bee, it was really quite beautiful. In return, I sent a letter to Todd explaining the many benefits of Brexit and the reclamation of our sovereignty.

Today, on a very cold and frosty morning, I was thrilled to find a reply from Todd through my letter box. However, upon opening my letter, I was shocked to discover a very offensive drawing of our Prime Minister amongst a smattering of foul mouthed expletives which I cannot repeat here. I have of course contacted the charity and demanded an immediate refund!

The first child you were GIVEN ?Oh my God,your language alone tells me you think you can buy people with your money.You want to impart your wisdom on the young man,didnt want to help the girl?
Grooming is what this sounds like,bog standard beastly behaviour.
Yeah yeah,your selfless generosity and good nature?I know that's code for you're the giver.Hence why you wanted the little boy.

originally posted by: DougHole64

originally posted by: ketsuko
a reply to: asabuvsobelow

Someone selfless and good-natured who just happens to not want to ever have anything to do with an unfortunate child for living in Florida.

Never trust the people of a state that claim to have a castle! And don’t get me started on the weird costumes they wear about the place. An utter disgrace!

It's just struck me like lightening,you are definitely trolling.
Is your name Bernard Schnitzel by any chance?I can't believe you've kept an account without getting banned for over a year.
God,aren't you getting too old to troll Bernie?That's over a decade.
Still got those pesky aliens living in your garden?

a reply to: DougHole64


Hahaha!! You should guide Todd so he leads Texas to independence.

originally posted by: DougHole64
Well, well, well, I am fuming! As many of you know, I am famed for my good nature and selfless generosity on these forums and so it won’t surprise anyone to learn that earlier in the year I decided to sponsor a less fortunate child (through a well known charity who will remain nameless here). In return for my sponsorship I would receive regular communications in the form of letters.

The first child I was given was a six year old named Britney based in Florida, USA, which I immediately refused as I won’t support anyone based in Florida on principle. The second child was a young boy named Todd, based in Texas. I have a lot of respect for the lone star state and so on this occasion I was happy to accept and looked forward to imparting my wisdom on this young man.

The first communication I received was a drawing by Todd of a little bumble bee, it was really quite beautiful. In return, I sent a letter to Todd explaining the many benefits of Brexit and the reclamation of our sovereignty.

Today, on a very cold and frosty morning, I was thrilled to find a reply from Todd through my letter box. However, upon opening my letter, I was shocked to discover a very offensive drawing of our Prime Minister amongst a smattering of foul mouthed expletives which I cannot repeat here. I have of course contacted the charity and demanded an immediate refund!

Dunno Doug. The kid seems pretty together for someone who just kicked it through 2020.
I mean, it’s not like he sent you a mail bomb or something like this.

You misspelled your username. Arse has no D, O, U or G. Even as a LARP this isn't funny; as comedy writing goes, you're no Barry Cryer. You're either a small-minded, pigheaded narcissist or you're terribly misguided as to what constitutes humour. Zero stars, would not recommend.

originally posted by: Pr0t0
You misspelled your username. Arse has no D, O, U or G. Even as a LARP this isn't funny; as comedy writing goes, you're no Barry Cryer. You're either a small-minded, pigheaded narcissist or you're terribly misguided as to what constitutes humour. Zero stars, would not recommend.

How dare you! And what the hell is a LARP? You’re probably a miserable Floridian writhing in your own sweat whilst trapped inside some weird costume telling people to have a ‘Nice Day’. I don’t think anyone would question my good nature on these forums, count the stars!

a reply to: DougHole64

Floridians wouldn't spell it 'arse'. I'm questioning your good nature based on this post. Stars mean nothing. The content of your character is showing, and you seem to be lacking a good side.

originally posted by: Pr0t0
a reply to: DougHole64

Floridians wouldn't spell it 'arse'. I'm questioning your good nature based on this post. Stars mean nothing. The content of your character is showing, and you seem to be lacking a good side.

I think you’ll find that many people on this forum hold me in extremely high regard. I receive messages of solidarity from good and selfless people like me every day! Some have even compared me to the late great Sir Bob Geldolf.

It has taken me a number of days, but today I have sent Todd a thirty page letter containing many drawings of us Brits celebrating Brexit day. Yes, the cartoon people are wearing masks, but due to my skilled draftsmanship, I think it is clear to even young Texans that underneath, we are smiling, that we are happy and that at last, we are free!

a reply to: DougHole64

Could you share this artwork with us? I'm looking forward to seeing some punch-esque satirical art.