Thanks ATS Family

a reply to: Nyiah

This is true, and something I hadn't thought of. My husband lost his mother to cancer while he was in college. The kicker is that they didn't tell him she had it at all.

One day, when he was in high school, he walked in on her coding in the kitchen and had to resuscitate her while waiting for the ambulance to arrive. That's how he found out. And the thing was that at that point ... she had already outlived her given life expectancy after diagnosis! They thought they were "protecting" him.

a reply to: Trueman

Sorry Man! stay safe and strong! Talk to your family, you can't take the world on by yourself! I take care of my Dad and trust me if he was struggling and needed me and I didn't find out til it was too late, you just can't get that time back or ease that guilt/pain ya know?

Wish you the best!!!

a reply to: valiant

Another positive about talking to your family:

You think you are sparing them the worry, but in shouldering all that worry by yourself, you actually increase the stress and strain on your body and make it worse for you. Sharing the burden will ease the load and make it easier to bear and that will give you more time and better health.

I know it seems counter-productive and you don't want them to worry, but they won't end up thanking you if they're caught unprepared.

originally posted by: Trueman
Well, I don't want to make a drama but I've been having serious health problems lately and maybe there is not too much more of the road ahead for me.

So sorry to hear about your problems. Am sending positive thoughts and prayers yours and your families way. Since your choosing not to share how bad it is with your family, then hopefully by your sharing it with us, your taking taking some of it's 'frustration power' away.

Wishing you the Best during these 'uncertain times, hard to deal with'.


Johnny

a reply to: ketsuko

Exactly Kets! I really hope Trueman sees the posts from you and Nyiah. I lost my Mother in the blink of an eye and it ruined me! Time is everything, and the people you love will be there for you, you just have to be honest with them, it will as you say work out best for everyone's health and peace of mind!

Keep your light shining as brightly as you can for as long as you can.

You are paving the way for those you love...as those before you paved the road for you...the People who love you will all rejoice if yours is the hand that ushers them into the light one day for there could be no better Friend awaiting them.

I understand your choice to remain silent.

People all live inside of their own constructs of reality.....glass houses if you will.....we all do it.....so why break the same windows twice huh?.....Peoples constructs will all be altered and they will all experience loss....why allow this time that you are still the Master of to be filled with regret sorrow and sadness?....People dont celebrate the news someone they love is in dire trouble....when those very People NEED a celebration to give them reason to keep fighting Dragons.

If you consider it worthy of your time please consider alternative naturopathic remedys if conventional treatments seem dead ended.

StayStrong.You have a caring ATS Family in your corner always keep us in mind.

a reply to: ketsuko

I believe that much of the time, these "surprises" serve to highlight our regret more than anything. If learning that a loved one is nearing the end causes us to act differently.. perhaps some self-reflection is needed on our part. At least, thats how it was for me.

Does knowing really lessen the blow? I suppose that it gives an opportunity for that change while we can still interact with the person we love. Maybe that should be a life lesson for all of us from day 1: treat every moment as precious and as if its the last. It eventually will be the last.

@Trueman: I feel ya on this one. I dont have much keeping me around, so thats probably a major difference, but I dont talk about any of it with the handful of connections in my life. It prevents me from starting any new relationships as well, though old habits can be tricky.

No matter what, I think a death hits hard. What is "best" for anyone might just be too individual to really comment on.

I suppose I also see a bit of a cold beauty in a metaphorical swan dive into the afterlife without any ripples on the surface of the water.

I dont think its something to take lightly though, Trueman. Follow your heart on it. I think its a bit easier to cope with loss when we can say "if only *this* had happened, it would have been different!" I dont believe that it is always the case that it would have been better, but sometimes it truly is.

All that said, there may be a lot of effective stuff out there to help the health stuff too. Without knowing anything, its hard to say, but there are an amazing amount of things out there that are pretty benign in general, yet ultra effective with health issues. Certainly no panaceas though.

I appreciate you choosing to spend so much time with us, either way. Thank you

a reply to: Trueman

...I know words can not keep a friend from dying.

You would find a lot of us wouldn't stop typing until our keyboards wore out to help a truly loved ATS member if they did.

...unfortunately words don't work like that.

I can only tell you that you will not be alone, you will be in our hearts.

Peace

a reply to: Trueman

Sorry to read the news Trueman , if I were the type who pray I'd pray for you but as it is all I can do is wish you the best with your health.

a reply to: Trueman

I'm so sorry to hear that. What I can do is include you in my prayers and send some positive thoughts your way.

originally posted by: ketsuko
a reply to: Nyiah

This is true, and something I hadn't thought of. My husband lost his mother to cancer while he was in college. The kicker is that they didn't tell him she had it at all.

One day, when he was in high school, he walked in on her coding in the kitchen and had to resuscitate her while waiting for the ambulance to arrive. That's how he found out. And the thing was that at that point ... she had already outlived her given life expectancy after diagnosis! They thought they were "protecting" him.

I've BTDT with being on the receiving end of hiding a terminal illness, I've shared it before on here. My grandmother hid terminal colon cancer from us. We moved with her from Fl to MI assuming she was being honest about becoming more frail in her elder years and needing the help around the home, someone to make sure she was ok or could call for help if she fell, etc. She had plenty in the bank for all of us to comfortably live on for several years if no jobs were to be had immediately, so no one was particularly worried about finding FT employment to pay the bills with immediately. As far as we knew, going off the info she gave us, we had plenty cash reserves, and plenty of time.

As it turned out, we did not have plenty of time.

We moved here in September. By December, she couldn't hide it anymore and it was CLEAR she hid something critical. We had her hospitalized immediately, at that point it was like flipping a switch -- she went to bed one night seemingly fine, lucid and happy, helping cook dinner, up & around & active, etc. The next morning, she was incoherent, unable to stand or sit up, could not swallow food or water, etc. Waiting a short while for an ambulance felt like an eternity, I tell ya. After she was admitted, the doctor explained it as her body simply hitting it's brick wall & the organs & mental degradation/shut-downs took over -- she & her body simply could no longer pull the charade off.

Barely I think a week later, she was pushing daisies, and we were freaking TF out -- none of her money was available to us (her accounts were frozen within days of her death) and there was no FT job to fall back on to shoulder the bills with, a PT one just didn't cut it. The first month post-death was an utter blur & flurry of mad dash activity on our parts unlike any other.

The legal loose ends we had to tie up on her behalf, backed up bills, and the income gap were like an invincible mountain for us for a good portion of the next year, but somehow we pulled through and it all panned out ok. But I'm still a tad peeved today that she didn't give us a heads-up, several months of my husband working FT would have made taking over all the household bills MUCH easier to do and would have drastically reduced our insanely high stress levels (that did not help the grieving process at all)

There's a reason I'm imploring Trueman to be open & honest with his family -- I don't think he quite realizes how much turmoil not saying anything could leave his family with to wrangle at the worst possible time for it emotionally.

Thank you all ATS family. I talked to them, mostly to my daughter. Just told them my lifeforce is weaker lately and I might not be here as much as I wish.

No need to go oh details, but they know. They also know I'm fighting and I won't give up.

My life is closest to normal as I can get. I work, drink wine and read ATS. I've been working about 20 years without vacations. This January I will take 2 weeks. If I'm strong enough, I'll go to the forest. You know I love the forest if you saw my videos.

I love you all !!!

a reply to: Trueman

Thank you for sharing your burden with us, hopefully all of the
positive thoughts and prayers here will help you feel loved
and you know your not alone. Prayers sent!

originally posted by: Trueman
I'll start saying that I became a better person the moment I joined ATS and I will thank everyone of you for that. All of you are like family to me and love you all.

Well, I don't want to make a drama but I've been having serious health problems lately and maybe there is not too much more of the road ahead for me.

Treatments are certainly unaffordable and I doubt they could work, I could apply for disability but my family needs me working. I didn't tell them how bad I'm feeling but they see all the painkillers I take. I rather don't go on details but I already have some organs not working well and some days even walk is difficult.

So, I just don't want to wait to say thank you ATS. I still be around as much as possible.

Trueman.

We love ya man, stay strong, think positive and do whatever you can to keep yourself healthy as possible.....side note, Diet can make EVERY BIT of a difference......

We got your back buddy and will be praying for ya

I'm so sorry. Prayers for you and your family. Are there any natural or alternative treatments you could pursue on your own?

a reply to: Trueman

Let me know if there's anything I can do to help.