Covid-19 Community Support and Mental Wellness Thread

a reply to: Hefficide

Great thread. I have been avoiding it since I haven't wanted to sit down and let myself worry. Im out of coping mechanisms and need to vent with another human on the other end.

That person is probably going through the same things as me. Financial worries, bad news from Friends and family. The works.

I dont want to burden people like me. I dont want to blame people for what is happening. I dont know if I want anything.

I need to work. I need to be useful. I need to see my kids have a future.

We need these things.

I want to play. I want to meet random people and learn from them. I want to do brave things and be awesome.

I dont want to live like this.

I can see this through. We can. We are not alone. There is a purpose for everything.

We must hold it down.

originally posted by: Serdgiam


Lost my pup of about 15 years last year and that was.. tough. She was amazing. Still got my shepherd, who is a certified dumbass. He makes me laugh though.. Every day

I love GSD's. Very sorry to hear of the other's death.

Your shepherd's a dumbass? I've never met a stupid GSD. Okay, one wasn't the brightest bulb, but overall.....

a reply to: drussell41

Ive worked in shelters, grooming, and did professional training. Ive dealt with thousands of dogs.

Hes the first lol He was intended to be a service dog for me. That.. Didnt work out so well. But, like I said, he makes me laugh.

90% of the time, I think its better this way.

ETA: No reason to be sorry about the loss of my beautiful girl. Im still dealing with it, and its tough.. But Ill be damned if we didnt have an amazing, incredible run together!

We did so much together, and she helped so many people and other dogs. She was trained as an SAR dog, eventually was used in training other dogs in everything from dog aggression to higher level training. And then, she spent time just visiting people who werent doing so well.

She changed lives.

originally posted by: Serdgiam
a reply to: drussell41

Ive worked in shelters, grooming, and did professional training. Ive dealt with thousands of dogs.

Hes the first lol He was intended to be a service dog for me. That.. Didnt work out so well. But, like I said, he makes me laugh.

90% of the time, I think its better this way.

ETA: No reason to be sorry about the loss of my beautiful girl. Im still dealing with it, and its tough.. But Ill be damned if we didnt have an amazing, incredible run together!

We did so much together, and she helped so many people and other dogs. She was trained as an SAR dog, eventually was used in training other dogs in everything from dog aggression to higher level training. And then, she spent time just visiting people who werent doing so well.

She changed lives.

Love you AND your dogs.

a reply to: drussell41

From my entire heart: Thank You

She thanks you too, from somewhere.

And.. the shepherd tha.. damnit.. Hes drinking pee again. BRB

originally posted by: Serdgiam
a reply to: drussell41


And.. the shepherd tha.. damnit.. Hes drinking pee again. BRB

LOLOL!

That's a first. Eating cats***? Sure. Which dog doesn't. But drinking pee?! LOL!

I just spoke with an IRL friend for the first time in a couple of years. The conversation I had with her illustrates another aspect of how people with underlying problems could be getting doubled down on due to current situations.

The call, condensed down to the relevant bits, essentially boiled down to two key points:

1) Asking if I happened to have a psychiatrist or doctor in pocket that might be taking new patients on short notice?
2) Asking if I might have any advice about OTC anxiety treatments ( I think she was low-key hinting to see if I had prescription meds I would share, but I derailed that aspect of the convo bluntly and quickly ).

In my own case I haven't received treatment for my mental health issues in over two years. The decision making behind this was complicated and involved multiple moving parts. However the biggest gears in that process were that most anxiety and depression medications come with substantial side effects / risks, and in our modern world simply approaching a doctor or mental health profession and saying the words "anxiety" or "panic" can very easily lead to them writing "drug seeking behavior" in your records.

My personal approach has evolved over the years and is currently a loose mantra of "Cope without chemicals until I can no longer cope at all".

That's not advice and is quite possibly a very poor way of approaching things. It's simply the approach that seems to work best in my subjective case.

Thing is, if I came to that decision, I have to imagine that at least a few others have as well. And, well, take a person who's literally boot-strapping their mental illness, toss in a pandemic... Not really optimal.

I advised my friend with the same things I wrote earlier in this thread about finding distraction and using it. I also told her that I've had a bit of success, in the past, with a few OTC products... Valerian root, St John's Wort, Benadryl ( in a pinch ), melatonin and that taking a multivitamin each days seems to help - but that none will provide the same sort of instant and overpowered relief that some prescriptions offer.

Sharing this here in case anyone reading is in a similar boat.

Oh one final trick. I internally call it "time traveling" but doctors probably have a different name for it. Basically if I'm having to go through something difficult, I force myself to visualize an end. Like if I had a bad day at work, I'd imagine quitting time and how I'd feel when quitting time finally arrived. Then, during the day I'd keep connecting myself to that ultimate goal and keeping it in mind.

It helped me, might help others. Just picture the day all this ends and imagine all the things you'll do when the all clear is sounded and begin to hold onto those goals and hopes.

Now I need to call my friend back and amend our convo with the time travel thing. I didn't think to share it.

a reply to: drussell41

Yeah. Its strange, to say the least. I assume he started because he associates it with comfort. He was donated then shipped to me, which I assume to be traumatic. When I picked him up, he had made a mess in his crate (unsurprising). But, that was when his life with me started, so his first hour or so with me was sitting in a crate with pee.

I did try to clean it up as best I could, but just wanted to get him home.

His biggest issue is that he doesnt understand "No." I even tried rumble collars to give immediate feedback, but it just confuses him. Considered ecollars, but felt all of them delivered too much zap. Thought about modding one to act more like a TENS unit on low settings, but I doubted it would work so didnt bother.

Oddly, he doesnt drink his own. Used to be my other dogs pee, and now its my parents dogs (shes amazing too).

I actually equate him to having some form of canine autism. He shows moments of absolute brilliance, and thats coming from someone who has worked with some very, very smart dogs at very high levels. But yeah.. Most of the time hes too busy drinking other dogs pee, trying to fit into impossible spaces, or turning too fast and hitting his head on things lol

a reply to: Hefficide

I know this might sound silly, but I found myself having pretty severe anxiety (I think) the past few months.

I decided to put my phone physically in another room to stop the "information overload." It did that, but the results were so profound that I even made a thread about. Some might notice I dont make many threads, so thats the level of importance I place on it.

I cant really explain it, since Ive never had issues with anxiety or panic, but within an hour of putting it as far away as possible... I was feeling completely different.

Im now limiting my time with any wireless devices, cell or wifi, and I cant recommend it strongly enough. It certainly cuts down on the information overload, but I think there is a lot more to it than that. Even if its just sitting near me, or in my pocket, and Im distracted with something else (like precise electronics), I can feel it creep back in.

Ive always dealt with stress, which bluntly I have a lot of in my life (my health issues are pretty severe) with meditation. I still recommend meditation without hesitation, even if most resources on it are not very good (just my opinion), but putting that phone far, far away was a pretty dramatic shift.

originally posted by: Serdgiam
a reply to: drussell41

I actually equate him to having some form of canine autism. He shows moments of absolute brilliance, and thats coming from someone who has worked with some very, very smart dogs at very high levels. But yeah.. Most of the time hes too busy drinking other dogs pee, trying to fit into impossible spaces, or turning too fast and hitting his head on things lol

Poor boy. I'm glad he has you, Serdgiam.

Deb

originally posted by: Hefficide
However the biggest gears in that process were that most anxiety and depression medications come with substantial side effects / risks, and in our modern world simply approaching a doctor or mental health profession and saying the words "anxiety" or "panic" can very easily lead to them writing "drug seeking behavior" in your records.

My personal approach has evolved over the years and is currently a loose mantra of "Cope without chemicals until I can no longer cope at all".

That's not advice and is quite possibly a very poor way of approaching things. It's simply the approach that seems to work best in my subjective case.

Thing is, if I came to that decision, I have to imagine that at least a few others have as well. And, well, take a person who's literally boot-strapping their mental illness, toss in a pandemic... Not really optimal.

Oh one final trick. I internally call it "time traveling" but doctors probably have a different name for it. Basically if I'm having to go through something difficult, I force myself to visualize an end. Like if I had a bad day at work, I'd imagine quitting time and how I'd feel when quitting time finally arrived. Then, during the day I'd keep connecting myself to that ultimate goal and keeping it in mind.

I think your choices are quite wise. I didn't know about the stigma associated with anxiety meds. I just knew about their addictiveness and thought, "Like I need another problem." And besides that, at this point I don't go see any physician unless it's absolutely unavoidable. I don't respect the vast majority, and that means I don't trust them either. (There are definitely exceptions to this, people I would trust with my life, but for the majority.....they strike me as burned-out, apathetic people who just phone in the easiest answer/treatment. And they absolutely don't care if it has severe negative consequences in your life either.)

I love the visualization idea. That really might help with my insomnia. Thanks.

a reply to: Hefficide

If it's to the point of panic, Clonazepam. Cheap. Effective. Coping with anxiety? Well that's a whole other ball game. Everyone's different. I like to wallow in my emotions myself, although I used to find comfort in playing Serious Sam...any of them. The hop from anxiety to panic can be a short one, so I have to be aware of where I am when its starts. Usually its keep mind busy on doing something. Anything. Idle hands and all that. Not much help here I know. Good luck.

originally posted by: BoscoMoney
a reply to: Hefficide

If it's to the point of panic, Clonazepam. Cheap. Effective. Coping with anxiety? Well that's a whole other ball game. Everyone's different. I like to wallow in my emotions myself, although I used to find comfort in playing Serious Sam...any of them. The short hop from anxiety to panic can be a short one, so I have to be aware of where I am when its starts. Usually its keep mind busy on doing something. Anything. Idle hands and all that. Not much help here I know. Good luck.

That sounds pretty good, Bosco.

originally posted by: Serdgiam
a reply to: drussell41


His biggest issue is that he doesnt understand "No."

I wonder if redirection with another command would be more effective. Have you done clicker training? My (main) GSD actually gave better responses with that than the traditional methods.

a reply to: drussell41

Yeah, Ive tried pretty much anything and everything under the sun and moon..

I think sometimes things work out exactly as they should though, and while not a traditional "service dog," he makes me smile and laugh. Sometimes that can be tough for any of us, right? All I have to do is watch him for 5-10 minutes and its 100% guaranteed he will do something that brightens my day.

I mean.. I kinda complain about him, but hes wonderful. Ironically, before I got sick, I was that trainer they called in for the absolute toughest cases. Frequently with extremely dangerous dogs in shelters. In those situations, they need dramatic results fast, or else..

I had to walk away from shelter work though. The people actually working AT the shelters were pretty universally the most amazing people Ive ever met. Those higher up? I never knew just how much corruption was there.. First time I ever encountered what Id call "evil." When I tried to fix the situation, it was also the first time I was subjected to the tactic of being publicly called out as a "vicious animal hater that was just trying to cause harm." It was a very effective strategy and even all these years later Im still working through it.

No reason to go into it much though. It doesnt serve much of anything. The tricky part is that anything ya do ends up deteriorating the trust and faith people have, and the animals are the ones that end up suffering due to a reduction in funds.

I do deeply appreciate having an avenue here to talk about it a bit though. Maybe Ive held in a lot of things for far too long. Thats probably true for all of us, but I feel like Im already such a large burden on those around me that I dont want to add to it.

I am absolutely blessed though, that despite having issues like 8+ broken vertebrae (that dont heal..), I can still walk. I can still breathe in crisp morning air and watch sunsets.. It can be so, so easy to forget and overlook things like that.

My biggest life goals at this point are to hopefully get my guitar design out there and helping people, and the same with my technology. I really dont know how to do either one of those, at this point, because I just cant do it myself. But Im not giving up.. Even if I do take some breaks

Thanks for creating this thread Heff, and thanks to anyone who might listen to the ramblings

a reply to: Serdgiam

What a history and story that you have to share! It's all interesting. Some of it upsetting and sad, but I really like your approach to things. I met evil when I was the chair of a Dangerous and Vicious Dog Board for my suburb. (I took that job because I wanted to keep GSD's from falling prey to the same stupidity that was killing innocent pit bulls. It was preemptive maneuvering for influence. I feared the same things happening to dogs that Bonhoffer talks about with humans and the Nazi's.) People can be absolutely unbelievably bad..... and then there's the good ones like many here who have done much to help others, human and nonhuman.

Yeah, his ability to make you smile and laugh is priceless. The other stuff doesn't matter at all at the end of the day.

originally posted by: drussell41

originally posted by: vonclod
a reply to: Hefficide
Nice kittie, After 8 years I have yet to figure out posting pics here so I cant put my boy Riff up. He is old, but very much a people cat.

How did Riff come into your life?

A longtime friend..family really. They have a one eyed black cat named Sammy..lol. I got the pick of the litter, that was 15 years ago. Sammy is still around too.

Stay safe.

a reply to: vonclod

Thanks.

You too.

I just wanted to say thank you, to all of you, especially Heff, for this thread.
Your right, especially now, it's very helpful, to be able to get your mind on other things. And I love reading all of your animal stories.
And even though it's been a bit hard, to read your struggles too. Only because they hit so close to home. But knowing others are willing to talk about it, and realizing there are others out there, really does help.

So, Thank you.

a reply to: drussell41

Use to play everything blizzard in my younger days. This decade mostly ESO. AD FTW! A little BLs3. FO series. Witcher 3 a bit. Thanks for askin!

Hope you’re hanging in there. Be well and take care...
Still sending Good Vibes and Metta blessings