I Forgive You and I'm Sorry

a reply to: Peeple

Good then, have a nice day

originally posted by: Peeple
a reply to: LoveSolMoonDeath

BS. If I love someone I want that person to be happy to have as much joy and everything he could want. That person becomes your life, even more important than your life. That's control. Total control.
If I fear someone I just want to get away.

I actually came back to spend my last hour responding to you, because I feel it's really important and I care about you.
I just needed to grab another cup of coffee first and have a short break to think it over.

We need to talk about Control and how Fear and Love relate to it. I feel that the reason you are bitter about all of this is because you - just like I or anyone else - need to learn more. Our suffering comes from our lack of understanding - not from outside sources. Everything comes from and exists within us.

All of these external stimuli are little more than illusions, they may seem real - but we do not know the full story or all the facts about it. So our perceptions are limited and do not represent the full Truth of the matter.

Even our own perceptions of ourselves are often riddled with inaccuracies and lack of information. This is unavoidable in most circumstances and must be accounted for and we need a plan to handle and cope with it effectively.

The Truth creates paradoxes between that which is and isn't, this is the Balance of the universe itself. All electromagnetic charges exist in perfect balance and any changes within the system are accounted for elsewhere with other changes. What's magical is that the whole system shifts automatically, instantaneously as these alterations are made.

This is exactly how everything around us works apparently, it retains Balance no matter what is done. Push comes to shove, and what goes up must come down eventually, so to speak.

Love is only "Control" in that it represents the highest form of Self-Control. Once you control You, than you may fulfill your intent and perfectly express your Will.

In the opposite side of this Balance, Love also represents Acceptance of what is. It represents the complete rejection of any attempt to control others, because you finally understand that they are on their path and you cannot skip them forward 100 steps even if you wanted to. So therefore control is a reckless and pointless endeavor that always ends up in disaster and unintended consequences. This is a fact of all our lives.

So the only way to really control other humans or events is to ACCEPT You cannot achieve this personally. Only God, the Creator, the Conscious Force of All that is (whatever you want to call it) - can Control anything. And in fact, God controls ALL that is ever was or will be. 100% total complete control via Love and Acceptance.

The absolute most important thing you can do is Let Go of All these trials and tribulations, these chains that bind you to your suffering and pain.

You must allow God to handle it. You need to focus on discovering and cultivating Faith and Hope for better. God WILL definitely, without a doubt, save you from it all. Ask and you shall receive. You may not get what you currently want, but you'll definitely get what you Need so that your future may be brighter and full of Joy. And that's all that matters in the end, isn't it? Happiness?

I know all about spending years worshiping someone else in the vain desire that they would respond the way I wanted, that they'd Validate ME by showing me that Love and Adoration back. That they'd favor me as their champion and worship me in return. They reacted like a black hole, sucking in all my Light and Energy, destroying everything that was Me.

I didn't even expect that to happen. I am still confused and shocked about it years later. It was devastating and ripped my Heart out and sliced it, pulverized it, into countless pieces. Such destruction felt impossible to repair.

But I turned to God because I lost all other options. I had zero % chance of changing that which was. And somehow, by pure Miracle, God came to the rescue and started putting my fragile shattered Heart back together, this time stronger and more powerful than ever before.

Does my Love control others? No.
Should it? No.
Can it if I try harder? Nope...
Does God control everything? Yes.

But God IS Love see? Love does Control Everything via Acceptance and Allowance. Not by Force.

All lies will eventually crumble, and the Truth (God) will always remain and prevail. Always. That is why Love is destructive, and it doesn't matter whose hands it is in. It could be the best of us or the worst of us, because Love is the Light and the Truth - and it destroys all that is a Lie and Wrong. It destroys the BS entirely.

So if Love is seeming destructive, that means that what is going on is wrong. If it unleashes the cataclysm, than that's because one was desperately needed to bring us to the Truth and find our Happiness.

You are blaming this person for your feelings, your failures and your shortcomings and even your own misery. And you're wrong about it because You are the One in Control of You.

It's OK to be a failure, I am and I'm #ing awesome lol. Being a failure doesn't define Me. I'm finding out how to be Successful and Achieve - Failure is a part of that process to help me get a grip on Me.

Don't waste your time blaming anyone or anything. Life happens exactly as it is for each of us because we are on specific paths toward the Light. We are surrounded by the darkness and so must accept and deal with that by focusing on our inner power, our Love. We are literally becoming that Light, it's not at the end of the tunnel it's way deep down the well into your own self.

About Justice:
Yes I understand fully the desire to want Justice for all things wrong. To want GOOD and RIGHT in the face of so much BAD and WRONG. So much cruelty and heartlessness.

But you and I don't know the full story about anyone, even ourselves half the time. We don't have all the facts. So therefore we are not in a position to accurately judge anyone - even our worst enemy.

When there is EVIL we cannot do anything except turn it over to God and say "Please God deal with this!! It's destroying me and I cannot handle the burden any longer! Bring Justice to these people for their crimes!". And rest assured, Justice will come in the most unexpected and surprising ways and it will be swift and complete.

But keep in mind that God Loves everyone, even the most flawed and foolish of us (like me). God is very merciful when we change our ways and try our best to do better. Being angry at anyone is simply not doing better, it's just doing worse. So let God have all that anger and resentment and allow it to be worked out outside of yourself. You do not benefit at all from trying to handle anger, it only burns you and creates horrible scars.

Once you realize just how powerful and decisive God's Righteous Justice is - you will find yourself begging for Mercy for your worst enemies because you realized that even they don't know better and are ignorant selfish fools bumbling around blindly trashing everything. They just simply don't know what they do, and this goes for all of us in this regard. We are all guilty as sin.

That's where Forgiveness must come in. It is the ONLY SOLUTION to this pain. You must Forgive all for what they have done. This way maybe God will favor your efforts and Forgive you too for all the mistakes you've made.

Cont...

a reply to: Peeple

I wanted him so much to be my saviour, my hero, my champion of truth. He is the opposite.

You (ego) wanted to receive this and that (returns) for your love (payment).

Learning to forgive is understanding that we all are trapped by an ego that seeks nothing but self gratification. Learning to love all is understanding what exists beyond ego.

a reply to: muzzleflash

You write a LOT. Always. That's cool. But stop and read sometimes. There's always a really super vocal minority that has spoken forever. Try less talk, more listening. I dunno, just a thought.

a reply to: Peeple

Forgiveness isn't about saying what they did was OK or that you personally accept their behaviors.

Forgiveness is about YOU breaking the chains that bind you to pain and suffering. It's an act of Self to Free the Self from the evils we all grapple with.

When you truly forgive someone, you are saying to yourself "I Am Letting Go of this Misery, and I have NO ill will or negative feelings towards these things anymore. I am Freeing Myself from my bondage as a slave to suffering!".

You aren't saying "Hey everyone, be a jerk all you want!". Because they will be jerks if they want to regardless if you accept it or reject it. They cannot be controlled by our desires or wishes.

But you are definitely and profoundly saying "I Control Me and no Evil will corrupt my Soul again!".

People will do wrong to us at random intervals throughout the rest of our lives. You cannot let their mistakes define You or Your Life. By refusing to Forgive them for their stupidity, you are allowing their actions to define You.

When you finally Let Go and Forgive, you are halting their powers over you and are creating the foundations of your own power over Yourself. You are saying "screw all this, I'm going to do Me and not care about any of their BS".

You are slaying the demon that chained you up and tortures you when you Let Go. That's because the only way to ever chain you to something was by you putting the shackles on yourself and agreeing to it to begin with. It all begins with consent.

The ONLY weapon that can defeat this wretched demon, this evil spirit that harms each and every one of us is to LET GO of the chain and Forgive everyone for everything! That strips all power away from everything and returns it all to you where it belongs. Only you ought to have power over you! You deserve so much better than to allow others to define You.

Define who You are independently. Choose what you want in Life and go that direction. Leave all your baggage behind, there is no room for Shame, Regret, Hopelessness, Anger, etc in that future of Happiness and Joy.

It's high time I, you, or anyone else, get over all this BS and be who the # we really Are. No more lies, no more masks, no more games, no more BS!!

You cannot let them destroy you like this. Break the chain, Let Go and Forgive 100% and just move forward. You will find something WAY better soon but You must work on Faith and try your damned best to do better at being You.

a reply to: glend


"Learning to love all is understanding what exists beyond ego."

Very well said sir

originally posted by: Wookiep
a reply to: muzzleflash

You write a LOT. Always. That's cool. But stop and read sometimes. There's always a really super vocal minority that has spoken forever. Try less talk, more listening. I dunno, just a thought.

In real life, in person, I rarely talk that much. Usually just a comment or two to keep the conversation alive and going.

I live in a house full of musicians and really intelligent people and I often allow them all the time they want to talk and just keep it going because I really appreciate and enjoy having friends and Love them a lot.

I "seem to" talk a lot on ATS because I have a place where I can write out full fledged thoughts and leave them for posterity for anyone in the future to read.

In person you'd never see me talk this much.
How we perceive each other over the internet can be very deceiving because we don't know the full story.

a reply to: muzzleflash

You know you're one of my favs on ATS, I said what it made me think. I'm not in pain, I struggle with life, love, god and everything. But you being you, I'm sure you know how necessary that is. For growth and such, right?
My experience was different, my conclusions are different.
I don't trust "god" and I have very good reasons why.

And I'm sorry but forgiveness is just not my style. That's not causing any pain or suffering.

a reply to: SonOfTheLawOfOne

I surprisingly did read this book while I was in jail, hahah.
I sorta think I filled a few pieces of most bad relationship qualities, but that was because I, like anyone else, is ignorant about how a healthy good relationship is suppose to work.

And how it works is that I need to fix Me and deal with that first. Otherwise how am I suppose to deal with anyone else if I can't handle myself? Also it's beneficial to recognize when others are having trouble with themselves so that I can not get mixed up in yet another disastrous relationship.

I think that book is a good starting point for anyone to learn a few interesting points about why and how we are always screwing this "relationship" thing up. It's pretty simple and insightful stuff to muse over.

a reply to: muzzleflash

I know brother! You're one of the best. I'm just shouting out my perception of things. Like always. Peace.

originally posted by: Peeple
a reply to: muzzleflash

You know you're one of my favs on ATS, I said what it made me think. I'm not in pain, I struggle with life, love, god and everything. But you being you, I'm sure you know how necessary that is. For growth and such, right?
My experience was different, my conclusions are different.
I don't trust "god" and I have very good reasons why.

And I'm sorry but forgiveness is just not my style. That's not causing any pain or suffering.

Ok, well why would any guy want to be with you than?
One screw up and you're screaming and angry and not forgiving....

Doesn't sound like it's worth it to me.

Please be open to the possibility that this mindset is the source of the problem, not the solution to it.
This feeling you experience is rooted in a misconception and a selfish desire.

Love must be free from all of this.
Love absolutely requires Forgiveness because each of us will screw up a few times every day.
You can't let that turn into negativity.
Therefore Forgiveness is the only way out.

a reply to: glend

No. It was very specific: I needed him to tell the truth, to save me from those who tried to persecute me. He lied. He sold me. That's the least what I expect from others, lovers or not, honesty and loyalty.

originally posted by: glend
a reply to: Peeple

I wanted him so much to be my saviour, my hero, my champion of truth. He is the opposite.

You (ego) wanted to receive this and that (returns) for your love (payment).

Learning to forgive is understanding that we all are trapped by an ego that seeks nothing but self gratification. Learning to love all is understanding what exists beyond ego.

100% This Post above!
Thanks for sharing that!

a reply to: muzzleflash

I tolerate a lot. There are a magnitude of things that don't need forgiveness because I understand why the other person is doing them,or can accept it as part of their habits/personality.

I just got different priorities: justice, truth, compassion/empathy

Love & forgiveness are detrimental to that.

a reply to: muzzleflash

It's really hard to fully express what one thinks in 2d world, without tones, eye expression and knowledge of the language. French speaking here soooo. Your writing seems easy for you but it's like music to me. You had a dimension so to speak

a reply to: muzzleflash

One of the best pieces of advice a friend gave after my first marriage fell apart was the first time you have really good sex you will forget all about your first marriage. He was right!

originally posted by: Peeple
a reply to: muzzleflash

Everything you wrote is beautiful and I applaud you for that.
5 years ago... someone I loved for 3 years before it got out of control, 5 years ago. He's not a healer. He can stop time and let everybody and everything around you disappear when you're the focus of his attention.
I wish I would have killed him. He destroyed me, isolated me, dominated me for a long time. Now he's out there doing the same thing to someone else.
He thinks he knows everything, he thinks if someone has a different opinion that person is a reason to get upset. He only tolerates people who worship him.
I can and will never forgive and never forget.
He's out there like a black hole sucking up every bit of love without ever giving anything else than to shine his attention on you for how long he feels you're a worthy feather in his hat of pride.
He is a liar. I wanted him so much to be my saviour, my hero, my champion of truth. He is the opposite.
I'm not that person who could ever harm or hurt a living being, like you. But if I could go back in time I would kill him. Not because I hate him. But to stop him.
He didn't just destroy me, he will do it again and again and again.... love can be a dangerous tool in the hands of the wrong man.
He feeds on the weakness of those around him. They do and accept everything because they want his love. And he knows that.

So what I learned from it is that love is the most destructive and dangerous feeling, it equals control. I will never love again. I don't hate either. The only answer to all of that what happened in this crazy swirl of events is to always control your emotions. They lead you astray, suck you dry and spit you out when you finally burned out.
One can only be independent and free when you look your feelings in the eye and not let them get inside your heart and your mind.

How did you treat this man? Being honest, did you come across as obsessed, and angry? Were you expecting something magical without performing your own magic? Any man will try his best to remove himself from that type of situation. Did you REALLY love him? Be honest. Or did you obsess? Speaking for myself, I HATE that. Stop it! I will distance myself from any woman who does that.

REAL forgiveness is letting go of YOURSELF. That' s the honest to God truth.

originally posted by: Peeple
a reply to: glend

edit on 17-2-2020 by glend because: (no reason given)

a reply to: Wookiep

I'll read Ezekiel again from this new perspective, thanks for sharing such a good post.

This is why I ask God for Mercy on us all, because we are all such huge screw ups. I too will focus on Mercy and Forgiveness to show God I mean business.

I just got back home and wanted to read everyone's posts, and sorry I missed so many. I was in a rush earlier and just read your original response.

a reply to: Wookiep

I don't prescribe to any religious groupings, and I definitely don't agree with participating in any rituals.

However with that said, I am open to learn from any book or written words. I will read text from any tradition with an open yet critical mind. I question every thing.

In the context of that - I think the Bible is the most powerful and useful book I've seen so far. It is simply Divine in it's Spiritual powers. The words in that book can and will work magic into reality.

But if you look at it from selfishness, from an arrogant perspective - it won't make any sense and will not perform magic.

An example is that any time I open this book at random, or someone at random quotes it - it was exactly the answers I needed at that time relating to my specific situation.