6 Years Together... All Based on Cheating the Whole Time!

originally posted by: CriticalStinker
a reply to: YouSir

Many of us come here (almost) purely for the bants 😉

Sometimes people make me leave with some knowledge though.... Little do they know, I'm a pro at scrubbing that off my brain with whiskey.

#metoo, except I start with beer then move to whiskey chasers and make sure I get the job done properly.

originally posted by: galadofwarthethird
a reply to: JamesChessman

# happens dude. I don't see what worth there is to overthinking about it so much.

thanks, dude

So basically, for both my ex-girlfriend, and my ex-"best-friend:"

I'd like to think that I can remember and cherish the positive years in which we all loved each other.

I'd like to think that I can cherish those years, and their memories.

Regardless that both relationships eventually turned toxic and ended badly, against me lol.

The thing is, that the reasons that both relationships ended badly, were fundamentally reasons from THEM, not from me:

That is, my former best-friend was a good best-friend for 6 years, BEFORE he started becoming passive-aggressive, against me, for the 7th and 8th year of his "best-friendship."

So I'd like to chalk up those 2 bad years to HIM, as he was bringing his passive-aggressive tendencies into our friendship... which had never been part of our best-friendship, up to that point!

It was such a classic friendship: We played SEGA, we watched movies, we watched football, we saw our friends together, etc. It never had the element of passive-aggressiveness, until he forced such themes, in our 7th and 8th years of being best-friends. So those final 2 years sucked, but I'd like to mostly forget about those final 2 bad years, and I'd like to attribute those years to him and his own passive-aggression.

So that means that I don't really accept the implied insult, that I DESERVE a best-friend to get mad at me every couple weeks, for 2 years straight, lol. Which is like 48 TIMES OF GETTING MAD at me, in 2 years lol.

I don't accept the insult. His passive-aggressiveness was his own tendency. It didn't come from me, and I say that didn't deserve it.

And I say that I can still enjoy the 6 years of GOOD best-friendship with him, BEFORE those final 2 years of passive-aggressive garbage.

...

Likewise, re: my ex-gf: I'd like to remember and cherish those years of genuine love and happiness with her. And I don't want it to be ruined by the eventual realization that she had been wildly cheating the whole time lol.

...It doesn't cancel out the genuine love and happiness that we really did share together, for at least most of those 6 years.

...And it might seem like that's the implied insult, that I don't deserve to be able to remember and enjoy my own happy memories with her... because she probably wanted to ruin all my happy memories, with the eventual bragging of her infidelity...

But I don't accept that seemingly-implied insult. I don't need to throw-away all my happy memories with her.

Realizing after 6 years that she had been wildly, proudly cheating the whole time: Sure it's supposed to ruin all my happy memories with her, but I don't accept that.

I'm considering her secret second-life of cheating as her own private involvement, during our years together.

That is, I don't accept it that her cheating was BECAUSE of me, which seems the implied insult, lol.

I don't accept it because it's not really logical thinking, to attribute one person's actions / choices, to a different person...!

So when people in general, are unfaithful to their partner, I sure don't blame their partner. I blame the unfaithful person herself, for her own choices & actions. Her own unfaithfulness. I attribute it to HER, not to me.

But also............It doesn't cancel out our happy years together, and my happy memories of those years, because her cheating was just not part of my life, during those happy years together.

There was a lot of love and sunshine, when we were together, and I remember / enjoy such happy memories.

For example, we had a couple beautiful times going to water parks together, in warm sunshine, and such memories are just pure and beautiful.

Completely regardless everything else lol.

We had a cat together, and in our free-time, we spent countless time together, with our cat lol. Loving each other, and loving our cat together, petting him and talking with each other, giving him treats, etc.

I'm sure it doesn't sound exciting but it was very loving and pure and beautiful. We lived in a beautiful 3rd-storey apartment that was always full of bright sunlight.

So part of the life experience is that, after the fact, all the memories of those 6 years, all become adjusted and revised, to fit the new understanding.

And this still happens now, even just spontaneously at certain times...

The last couple days I keep thinking about this one time that I came home from college, one day... And it was just a cute, loving little memory, all these years...

But the last couple days, this memory got flipped into a new interpretation.

So the traditional memory was that I came home, and we were both living with the same friends in a shared townhouse, at the time.

So I came home, and she came to the door, and greeted me, and I kissed her, and this was still a new romance, so I was trying to be extra loving, and assertive, and all that. So I kissed her, and used a cutesy voice to tell her that it was good to see her, and I missed her, and I loved her, etc. Just clowning around a little, but in a loving way.

So she was nice and then she laughed and she was embarrassed, because she had a friend in the living room, who had heard me blabbing about how I missed her and it was good to see her, etc.

So I always thought that she seemed embarrassed for her friend to hear me talking funny to her, but the last couple days, I've been thinking how the truth is, she was embarrassed because she was probably engaged in sex acts with her friend, just moments before I came home, and kissed her... Probably tasting the other guy's sweat, saliva etc. when kissing my own girlfriend lol. And not even realizing it.

But anyways, that's what she must have been embarrassed about, that day, lol. Plus she seemed flushed and for god's sake, she was flushed from her sex acts that day, lol. Not from embarrassment at me talking to her funny, in front of her friend, which was how I had always taken it.

How disgusting to think that I was kissing her, just moments after she was performing sex acts on another guy, and then I tasted his saliva etc. without even realizing it.

...

This was also at the start of our dating, so this shows that this was just her set-up for the whole relationship, apparently. It was all based on that premise, of always cheating with her friends, all the time.

As her boyfriend, I was automatically in the sucker's position. I was the sucker boyfriend, living with my girlfriend, who was playing with her friends, before I came home from college.

...

This also shows how there was disrespect built into that relationship, AGAINST me, as her official boyfriend.

That is, the boyfriend's position is automatically disrespected and degraded etc. the whole time.

And the proof of that, is on that very day lol!

As her boyfriend, I was clearly disrespected, just on that one day, in favor of her friend, before I came home, and she kissed me... with her friend's bodily fluids already in her mouth.

This is obviously disrespectful toward me as her boyfriend, because I obviously don't want to taste some other guy's fluids, so it's fundamentally disrespectful.

And it's obviously putting her dumb-ass friend, as being treated as superior, over me as her boyfriend, that she was living with, and talking of getting married, etc.

And that's just obvious who was being treated as superior over who... Just look at who was tasting other guys' bodily fluids on his girlfriend...

...

But I've also just come to claim all of her games and secrets as her own dynamics, that she based our whole relationship on.

So I attribute it all to her, she just likes to cheat all the time. I don't blame myself for her cheating, nor do I generally ever attribute someone's choices and actions to anyone but themselves.

Also the biological aspect is really truly nauseating if you think about it enough lol.