6 Years Together... All Based on Cheating the Whole Time!

a reply to: Sookiechacha

I wouldn't argue with you, but thats a different scenerio, one I would strongly disagree with as well.

I don't care what lifestyle someone lives as long as they're not exploiting another.

Having your cake and eating it too can take a big toll on someone's trust. They think they knew someone intimately, for years, and probably had love too.

I'm single and 30. The way I see it, if I'm not honest with a prospect, I'm wasting their time. I can't count how many I've lost to being honest about not wanting to have kids. It is what it is, but I can sleep at night.

At the end of the day, I feel sorry for people who live a life with destruction in their path. They'll never find peace or get close to happiness.

a reply to: Sookiechacha

I hope you know that women cheat as much as men. They also initiate divorce 75% of the time.

There are a lot of people out there like that. Its called selfish. Self centered/


Just remember that after she left you, she still has to live with herself

originally posted by: IAMTAT
a reply to: JamesChessman


6 years is a long time to be with someone that consistently cheated on you.
Did you suspect this before she told you and ask her about it?

No, I never suspected that she was unfaithful, the whole six years.

Until the last 3 months, she started talking about crazy stuff that was too vague to know what she really meant. Like, she'd say, "My girlfriends tell me that I should start dating a second boyfriend, and keep it a secret from you."

^So in retrospect, she was basically bragging of cheating on me, during those last 3 months, but she was keeping it too vague to really pin it down. Like, it could have been literally true, the way she said it, that "her friends were telling her to cheat" on me, etc. (Like, maybe she just had girlfriends who were nasty sluts, lol.)

And then during those 3 months, I'd respond by asking her point-blank, "Well, are you actually cheating on me? Do you actually have a 2nd boyfriend?"

And then she'd swear that no, she wasn't cheating, and she was loyal to me, and she loved me, etc.

So yeah she basically just kept vaguely hinting at it, during the last 3 months, just to mess with me, apparently lol. Just to confuse me, and it seems she wanted to make me wonder about if she was cheating, etc.

...

Anyway, no, I never suspected her of cheating, until she started talking about it, at the very, very end of our 6 yrs together.

She didn't actually acknowledge the fact that she had been unfaithful, until after we were basically separated.

originally posted by: Bluntone22
a reply to: Sookiechacha

I hope you know that women cheat as much as men. They also initiate divorce 75% of the time.

You wouldn't know it based on some of the replies here. She's a 'whore" and a "psycho"! Whereas with guys it's a culture. Sure, he's a dog, a bastardo, but when I was a kid, women looked the other way when their husbands "worked late". Does anyone really expect pro-athletes to be faithful to their wives ALL the time?

originally posted by: JAGStorm
a reply to: JamesChessman

Her loss, you sound like a real good guy. She will probably regret her actions someday and it will be too late.
I hope you are able to move on and find someone with similar morals as you and no cold sores (eww)

Thank you for the kind words although u guys really don't know me much to say that I sound like a good guy lol. But I appreciate the kind words.

The cold sores was a detail that only clicked into place, years later.

Because basically, when I realized that she had been unfaithful: There is a new process of slowly re-evaluating the previous 6 years of my life. Lots of details like that click into place.

I didn't even really know that women get cold sores from doing that, until I was watching a documentary about pornstars, and one woman remarked that she had acne around her mouth, because of sex acts... And I was like, "Ohhh, that could have been why my ex-gf always had cold sores, maybe."

originally posted by: stosh64
I find the OP's posts to be a very odd way to be responding to this situation. Maybe its just the new way males are supposed to be. Or maybe the de-masculination of society has caused this reaction.
I really don't mean to be harsh, if I was I would have used different terms.

Maybe she left because she was seeking someone who would act like a 'old fashioned' man with her, not someone who is ok with her sleeping around.

Just an honest opinion. I wish you luck OP and sorry this happened.

You seem to have misunderstood something, somewhere. I was never OK with her sleeping around. It simply happened, and I didn't know about it, until the end of the relationship.

Also this is not a super recent experience, but I was just reflecting about it recently, as I was going through my stuff during moving into a new apartment. I have tons of things accumulated over the years, which remind me of her and other friends, girlfriends, etc.

originally posted by: KKLOCO

originally posted by: stosh64
I find the OP's posts to be a very odd way to be responding to this situation. Maybe its just the new way males are supposed to be. Or maybe the de-masculination of society has caused this reaction.
I really don't mean to be harsh, if I was I would have used different terms.

Maybe she left because she was seeking someone who would act like a 'old fashioned' man with her, not someone who is ok with her sleeping around.

Just an honest opinion. I wish you luck OP and sorry this happened.

No, I believe it’s called pu$$y whipped. It’s been around a long time. Unfortunately, even the strongest of us, can succumb.

Mine was because of our children together. I can’t speak for the OP, though.

What lol. I didn't know she was unfaithful until after the relationship was over...

a reply to: Sookiechacha

She cheated multiple times over six years.
That makes her a whore.

I've been married nearly 25 years and have been totally faithful to my wife.
That being said, yes men have been known to cheat. My point was that women cheat just as often now days.
And as for pro athletes and other rich people..
They dont live in the real world so I dont even count them..

a reply to: Bluntone22

She cheated multiple times over six years.
That makes her a whore.

Then I guess Donald Trump is also a whore.

(Oh, I forgot, rich people don't count)

a reply to: Sookiechacha

No, no, trump is a complete whore
So is tiger woods, bill Clinton and the women that cheated multiple times over six years.

Mostly I was saying that people that marry the rich are usually just gold diggers.

originally posted by: JamesChessman

originally posted by: IAMTAT
a reply to: JamesChessman


6 years is a long time to be with someone that consistently cheated on you.
Did you suspect this before she told you and ask her about it?

No, I never suspected that she was unfaithful, the whole six years.

Until the last 3 months, she started talking about crazy stuff that was too vague to know what she really meant. Like, she'd say, "My girlfriends tell me that I should start dating a second boyfriend, and keep it a secret from you."

^So in retrospect, she was basically bragging of cheating on me, during those last 3 months, but she was keeping it too vague to really pin it down. Like, it could have been literally true, the way she said it, that "her friends were telling her to cheat" on me, etc. (Like, maybe she just had girlfriends who were nasty sluts, lol.)

And then during those 3 months, I'd respond by asking her point-blank, "Well, are you actually cheating on me? Do you actually have a 2nd boyfriend?"

And then she'd swear that no, she wasn't cheating, and she was loyal to me, and she loved me, etc.

So yeah she basically just kept vaguely hinting at it, during the last 3 months, just to mess with me, apparently lol. Just to confuse me, and it seems she wanted to make me wonder about if she was cheating, etc.

...

Anyway, no, I never suspected her of cheating, until she started talking about it, at the very, very end of our 6 yrs together.

She didn't actually acknowledge the fact that she had been unfaithful, until after we were basically separated.

Your heart did tell you, as did your gut. It always does. You wanted to believe her, You are a sensitive kind person and she took advantage, Let her go

a reply to: JamesChessman

10 years here my dude.. Women tend to be trash these days as the domestic roles in society have essentially flipped imo.

At least you aren't figuring out custody and alimony like I am trying to do currently.

My heart and gut knew it before I found proof of it. She believes her own lies about it not happening though. Or at least can portray as if she does. Truly psychotic.

a reply to: CriticalStinker


Ummm...dude...I’d probably pay...to see some bitch suck a bus...

And yes...your a soy boy...







YouSir

a reply to: InTheLight


Ummm...that’s the real problem isn’t it...trust...

I’ve learned not to trust anyone...in any situation...

Remember...love is just a chemical reaction...a hormonal response to stimuli...

Nothing altruistic about any of it...







YouSir

a reply to: YouSir

You sound like you need a cuddle, bring it in there big fella ...

originally posted by: hopenotfeariswhatweneed
a reply to: YouSir

You sound like you need a cuddle, bring it in there big fella ...

Ummm...providing said cuddle doesn’t evoke any hormonal response to stimuli...

I like my bland brain chem stew...it pairs wonderfully with brioche...and a Chianti...

No Fava beans though...they’re out of season...





YouSir

a reply to: YouSir

It's an emotion free bro hug, bean free...

a reply to: JamesChessman

I was 15 and she was my first true love..

I did everything for that girl. Nothing seemed too much of a trouble. My reason for living was to make her happy. Did the big wedding, got the big house, bought the fancy car and we had 4 kids...life was perfect.

21 years of being happy untill I found her with my best friend...

You don't give up something so precious and you try to find a way to work it out. Than one day you come home and you are told that there was more to tell...

From the beginning she had been sleeping with other men. There even was a relationship that lasted a year with her boss before started with children.

She found somebody online and for days I had to hear how I was still a great guy but it felt more like brother and sister and that it wasn't going to work out..

So many questions when we finally broke, was there ever real love, why did I ignore that which I had seen in her eyes all this time, are my kids even my biological kids...?????

The pain never really goes away but you know, atleast for me it was real. In this short life that we have on this Earth, my experience was real. My happiness was real. My love was real...

Maybe it was a fairytale but atleast I got to experience it and for her it was never more than a lie.

Now after 5 years of being apart I believe this realisation is sinking in with my ex and that feels really good.

Love is a strange thing.

Stay strong, you'll get through...

Peace