Why do gay people have to announce coming out?

I also think it's something that got started when it was a much more risky thing to do socially in this country, and it got all kinds of attention when bigger celebs did it.

Now, it's kind of ho-hum because no one really bats an eye much anymore. Sure, some face issues at home, but lots of people face issues from their parents over things like choice of partner, even straight kids do although no one talks about it. It's like we talk about bullying as though only gay or trans kids face it, but all kinds of kids get bullied. It's a universal problem just like family acceptance of life style and life choices can be.

So I think it's sort of a social custom that continues even though its time is maybe passed.

a reply to: JAGStorm

There's no winning with the Leftist gays. Not all are Leftists; I have had many right leaning gay friends and co-workers who have been generally accepted as just another member of the crew.

Me, I just keep myself to myself. Put on the big, flashy "I am Gay" act and I just walk away.

originally posted by: JAGStorm
a reply to: DanDanDat

You can be gay and not have a boyfriend. But that being saud many gay people do announce they are gay by introducing their boyfriend. Some who might have boyfriend might choose not to use them as a means to announce they are gay because they don't want the two separate issues to be intermingled. Introducing your boy/girlfriend for the first time can be a separate issue for some people.

I guess that is the issue. If other's have problems with that, that is their issue.
I think in a way announcing it says "we're different, but we want to be the same"

Maybe I am a much more open minded person than most, I just don't care, I really don't.

I think that's a problem a lot of people have; when people truly don't care about someone else's skin color, sex, sexual orientation, disability, religion and ext they assume everyone else feels the same way and as a result think these issues are no big deal.

Its great that you don't really care ... unfortunately there are a lot of people who do care and these are the people gays start off hiding from until they get tried of hiding and than need to tell family and friends a secret they have been keeping from them.


For example do you honestly believe Lil Nas would have had a successful rap career if he just presented as being gay from the start? No he would not have; the Rap community is not known for their tolerance to gay people. Hopefully with Nas "coming out" that will change and sometime in the future it really will be no big deal.

a reply to: DanDanDat

On the flip side, it should also not be a big deal for someone to say, "So?" when someone comes out, too. Isn't that what the world is aiming for?

No one should get all bent out of shape when someone reacts that way. When you do, it reinforces the negatives people tend to feel about gays and their attitudes. If you want to be accepted as normal, then be happy when someone does it. Someone saying, "So?" is a sign of that.

There is no such thing as gay...stop trying to create a reality to suit selfish wants....nobody "comes out" they just sell out humanity for their own selfish reasons.

I say we ban the word and remove it from all dictionaries and written words.

Good people are allowed to use White Word Magik its easy to do....its how our worlds worst monsters have manipulated ad used small special interest groups and used them to rot our societies from the inside out its how they have protected themselves for eons....and it is how they will be remediated into the annals of history.

People love all people...there is no such thing as gay...its a weaponised made up word.

a reply to: ketsuko

The problem isn't really Harts words its Yahoos spinning of, likely a couple of tweets, into the world objects to Kevin Hart.
It's the real problem with the media now, interpreting social media replies to being full blown, mass scale objection or support.

Because it's more their identity than who they really are. Most gay people I know don't publicly talk about their sexuality and wouldn't be caught dead at these pride events.

The "new gay" is some dude with nipple pasties and ass-less chaps hitting people on the head with a purple silicone ****.

originally posted by: TonyS
a reply to: JAGStorm

There's no winning with the Leftist gays. Not all are Leftists; I have had many right leaning gay friends and co-workers who have been generally accepted as just another member of the crew.

Me, I just keep myself to myself. Put on the big, flashy "I am Gay" act and I just walk away.

I don't think its a left/right issue; there are a lot of left leaning gay people who don't do the big, flashy "I am Gay" act.

But you are correct there are a lot of gay people who do the big, flashy "I am Gay" act and it can get annoying after a while. But "coming out" and the 'big, flashy "I am Gay" act' are two different things. They don't always come hand in hand.

This past may I spent a lot of time with gay people who do the big, flashy "I am Gay" act. They can get really annoying; but for them its part of their lifestyle and its almost a distinct trait aside from their sexual orientation. They simply love to be flashy, they are flashy about everything not just being gay; being gay is almost a side event for these people.

One night while having drinks after a "dinner party" we where all discussing the hairstyling places we go to get our hair cuts. All the guys told these big elaborate stories where they spend hours at the shop; are offered wine and/or some fancy hard liquor; and get the "most Amazing!" treatment for an outrageous price ... including my strait brother in law, doing his big, flashy "I am straight" act.

When it came time for me to tell my hair cut story. I told them that I spend 15 minutes getting a hair cut, less if I'm lucky. Walk in, get my cut, pay $15, walk out. I told them I thought they all were crazy for making a haircut anymore than that and that they where acting like a bunch of women. They all laughed at my joke and we moved on to the next over blown topic.

They know they are being flashy, it really has nothing to do with being gay, other than the fact that they are flashy about that too. Sometimes they probably even know they are being annoying... it's just who they are.

originally posted by: ketsuko
a reply to: DanDanDat

On the flip side, it should also not be a big deal for someone to say, "So?" when someone comes out, too. Isn't that what the world is aiming for?

No one should get all bent out of shape when someone reacts that way. When you do, it reinforces the negatives people tend to feel about gays and their attitudes. If you want to be accepted as normal, then be happy when someone does it. Someone saying, "So?" is a sign of that.

Heart didn't just say "So?"; that's what his problem was. I heard the exchange on the radio. Heart was being a dick about it. That's part of his comedy routine; he purposely comes on strong and angry and loud. He tried to do that with Lil Nas and it didn't work out the way he would have liked it; but he still has to own that mistake. He knows he's in the public eye, he knows he's already on think ice for past homophobic statements he made and has apologized for. He should have known that it wasn't the best time to do his shtick.

Heart's case was not a simple matter of someone saying "so?" after finding out someone is gay.

Why do gay people have to announce coming out?

So relatives will stop asking when you're going to get married and have kids.
So people will stop asking questions about you not dating or finding a nice girl/boy.
Life is about a lot more than the orgasm and how you get there you know.
Who the # cares about this?

I am announcing right now in semi-public that I am me.

originally posted by: Sillyolme

Why do gay people have to announce coming out?

So relatives will stop asking when you're going to get married and have kids.
So people will stop asking questions about you not dating or finding a nice girl/boy.
Life is about a lot more than the orgasm and how you get there you know.
Who the # cares about this?

Obviously people care about it or they wouldn't post about it.

originally posted by: Sillyolme

Why do gay people have to announce coming out?

So relatives will stop asking when you're going to get married and have kids.
So people will stop asking questions about you not dating or finding a nice girl/boy.
Life is about a lot more than the orgasm and how you get there you know.
Who the # cares about this?

Newsflash:

Gay people aren't the only ones who get asked those questions.

Lil Nas says that straight people do announce it by saying they have a girlfriend/wife etc. This is mental, truly mental.

a reply to: JAGStorm

Is it? Even little kids are happy to announce that little Jill/ Jack is their girl/boy friend as innocent and cute as that is.
In children as young as kindergarten you see pairing off behavior so how is it not normal? What makes it mental?
People do announce their preference whether gay or straight and often pretty early in life.

A wedding invitation listing a male and female couple is telling the world you are not gay. (or at least not ready to accept it lol)
A baby announcement is telling the world you are not gay.

Everybody gets out the word about which way they swing no matter what direction that is.

Did your family ever question whether you were gay or straight?

No? Thats because your behavior reflected what you are.

originally posted by: DanDanDat

originally posted by: ketsuko
a reply to: DanDanDat

On the flip side, it should also not be a big deal for someone to say, "So?" when someone comes out, too. Isn't that what the world is aiming for?

No one should get all bent out of shape when someone reacts that way. When you do, it reinforces the negatives people tend to feel about gays and their attitudes. If you want to be accepted as normal, then be happy when someone does it. Someone saying, "So?" is a sign of that.

Heart didn't just say "So?"; that's what his problem was. I heard the exchange on the radio. Heart was being a dick about it. That's part of his comedy routine; he purposely comes on strong and angry and loud. He tried to do that with Lil Nas and it didn't work out the way he would have liked it; but he still has to own that mistake. He knows he's in the public eye, he knows he's already on think ice for past homophobic statements he made and has apologized for. He should have known that it wasn't the best time to do his shtick.

Heart's case was not a simple matter of someone saying "so?" after finding out someone is gay.

Recently Dave Chapelle did a joke on Asians, I laughed my butt off and I'm Asian! It was hilarious, his wife is also Asian.
We need to stop coming down on Comedians for their comedy and getting offended at everything. It's going to be a pretty un-funny world pretty soon.

a reply to: Sillyolme

A baby announcement is telling the world you are not gay.

EVERY single gay person I know has a kid, every single one.

originally posted by: JAGStorm

originally posted by: DanDanDat

originally posted by: ketsuko
a reply to: DanDanDat

On the flip side, it should also not be a big deal for someone to say, "So?" when someone comes out, too. Isn't that what the world is aiming for?

No one should get all bent out of shape when someone reacts that way. When you do, it reinforces the negatives people tend to feel about gays and their attitudes. If you want to be accepted as normal, then be happy when someone does it. Someone saying, "So?" is a sign of that.

Heart didn't just say "So?"; that's what his problem was. I heard the exchange on the radio. Heart was being a dick about it. That's part of his comedy routine; he purposely comes on strong and angry and loud. He tried to do that with Lil Nas and it didn't work out the way he would have liked it; but he still has to own that mistake. He knows he's in the public eye, he knows he's already on think ice for past homophobic statements he made and has apologized for. He should have known that it wasn't the best time to do his shtick.

Heart's case was not a simple matter of someone saying "so?" after finding out someone is gay.

Recently Dave Chapelle did a joke on Asians, I laughed my butt off and I'm Asian! It was hilarious, his wife is also Asian.
We need to stop coming down on Comedians for their comedy and getting offended at everything. It's going to be a pretty un-funny world pretty soon.

Maybe your right; but that time is clearly not now and Heart should have known that and acted accordingly.

a reply to: watchitburn

Yeah like putting wedding announcements in the news paper and spending $30,000.00 for a wedding reception and $10,000.00 on a dress, and $4,000.00 for flowers so you can have everyone you know gather to acknowledge your straightness and sexual preferences.
Attention whores.

a reply to: DanDanDat

I thank you for your thoughtful reply.

I think that's a problem a lot of people have; when people truly don't care about someone else's skin color, sex, sexual orientation, disability, religion and ext they assume everyone else feels the same way and as a result think these issues are no big deal.

Does coming out make those people that don't feel like the above people accept it anymore? I don't think that is the case, it might be the opposite. Or is it more that for the gay person it is something they need to do so there is no more doubt in anyone's mind.

I went to school with a guy. He was very stereotypical gay. Everyone knew, seriously everyone. When he came out in college, we were all shocked. Not because he was gay, but because we were confused who didn't know. Maybe it was just something he needed to do, but none of us understood it at the time. He later announced he had AIDs in the same manner, and had no clue how he got it. Yes, posted this to social media.

originally posted by: JAGStorm
a reply to: DanDanDat

I thank you for your thoughtful reply.

I think that's a problem a lot of people have; when people truly don't care about someone else's skin color, sex, sexual orientation, disability, religion and ext they assume everyone else feels the same way and as a result think these issues are no big deal.

Does coming out make those people that don't feel like the above people accept it anymore? I don't think that is the case, it might be the opposite. Or is it more that for the gay person it is something they need to do so there is no more doubt in anyone's mind.

I went to school with a guy. He was very stereotypical gay. Everyone knew, seriously everyone. When he came out in college, we were all shocked. Not because he was gay, but because we were confused who didn't know. Maybe it was just something he needed to do, but none of us understood it at the time. He later announced he had AIDs in the same manner, and had no clue how he got it. Yes, posted this to social media.

Ever been afraid of the dark? Sometimes people irrational fears. Its not unreasonable for someone to "feel" they need to hide even though rationally they know there is no danger.

Ever get caught playing hide and seek when you thought you had the best hiding spot? Everyone might have "known" he was gay; but that doesn't mean he knew that they knew; maybe he thought he was doing a good job at hiding.

Ever try to pretend your something your not because you personally don't like something about yourself. A fat lady stuffing herself into skinny jeans for example. Maybe your class mate was trying to fool himself into thinking he wasn't gay untill he finally accepted it and telling others was his cathartic moment.