America has a parenting problem

a reply to: Identified

I walked home from kindergarten everyday when I was 5 years old. Half way through town and the rest over field roads. I guess that is something not imaginable in the USA?

To be honest, I do not think this is even imaginable now in Germany anymore, some 25 years later.

originally posted by: Oleandra88
a reply to: Identified

I walked home from kindergarten everyday when I was 5 years old. Half way through town and the rest over field roads. I guess that is something not imaginable in the USA?

To be honest, I do not think this is even imaginable now in Germany anymore, some 25 years later.

I live in Germany when I was 6-8. I absolutely loved it there. I too walked to the school bus a good distance.
I passed a bakery. There is nothing in this world that makes me more nostalgic. The fogged up windows. The brochens. The little chocolate coin candies. I can still smell that delicious scent. The chilly mornings, and the smell of the bakery that had been baking all morning... just heaven!

1mark would buy so much candy, so much.

originally posted by: Oleandra88
a reply to: Identified

I walked home from kindergarten everyday when I was 5 years old. Half way through town and the rest over field roads. I guess that is something not imaginable in the USA?

To be honest, I do not think this is even imaginable now in Germany anymore, some 25 years later.

In most areas of the US, that's legally considered child abuse/neglect now and will get you arrested and your kids taken away.

For example, when I was growing up in Florida, I lived a block off the Gulf. It was mostly a residential stretch, so there were no public beaches within walking distance. However, there was a stretch of undeveloped land that had a thick cover of mangroves, and a hidden beach. If you knew the route through the 'groves, you could go swimming whenever you wanted. Back then, I used to ride my bike down there, and walk down to the beach to swim. By myself. I was roughly 7 when I did that regularly.

Today in FL, the same thing would have CPS knocking down your door, accusing you of neglect. It's mostly the same all over the country -- kids can't have roaming freedom anymore, because "it's neglectful".

a reply to: Asktheanimals
Mostly? Not sure. Father figure needed? I agree complete.

I know some who either had no father or where the father was not very much around and those people turned to adults that would out-polite and out-smart the avarage ATS user anyday. My impression that may be built because there might be many teens here who just have to grow up complete. No offense, or judgement.

a reply to: JAGStorm

And there was a time people wore suits everywhere they went. Times change people change.

I agree.


Lack of parenting along with the idea that medication is better than discipline.

You are now seeing the results. It's only going to get worse.

originally posted by: Asktheanimals
Mostly that fathers are missing from many children's lives.

Truth. We have criminalized everything in a punitive justice system. Not to mention back before the 60s people simply did not get divorced except in extreme circumstances.

originally posted by: UpIsNowDown
a reply to: JAGStorm

No you DO have a gun problem, are you suggesting parents in the USA are worse than the UK, Norway, France, Italy, Germany, Canada etc as there are tennagers with angst in ALL these countries, America is choosing to ignore the access to firearms again, dont worry as nothing will change, there will be no gun grab by the gooberment, and this will happen again unfortunatly, but it is a gun issue, anything else is weak excuses as there are more countries than America on the planet with all the same daily trials and none has anywhere near the frequency of attacks.

I realize you are upset. Anger clouds the mind and makes you say silly things.

The UK is kind of small compared to the United States wouldn't you say? And in the UK, they did do a pretty big gun thing a little while back, so much so, that you can't even go to the Wal Mart and pick up a deer rifle. But what is this? :

www.thesun.co.uk...

Timeline of shootings
February 12 Taxi driver Bulent Kabala, 41, shot dead on a roundabout in Enfield
March 8 Kelvin Odunuyi, 19, shot in Wood Green amid escalating gang warfare
March 14 Joseph Williams-Torres, 20, shot dead in a stationary car in Walthamstow
March 17 Student Russell Jones shot and stabbed to death near Ponders End station in Enfield.
March 25 Abraham Badru, 26, shot in Dalston, East London, without warning
April 2 Tanesha Melbourne, 17, gunned down by drug gang in Tottenham
April 2 Amaan Shakoor, 16, shot in the face outside Walthamstow Leisure Centre
April 9 An armed man was shot dead by police in Romford after threatening people with a gun near a petrol station
May 1 A 30-year-old man died outside Queensbury Tube station in North London after being found with serious injuries
May 5 Rhyhiem Ainsworth Barton was gunned down in a drive by shooting near his home in Kennington, South London
May 6 Man, 22, is shot in New Cross, South East London
May 6 Boy, 13, blasted in head with shotgun while walking with his parents in Wealdstone, near Harrow, in North West London, as 15-year-old also injured in the head in the shooting
June 1 A 24-year-old man is fighting for his life after being shot with a "machine gun" in Brent, north-west London
June 3 Oluwafemi Omosuyi, 22, airlifted to hospital in Southwark, South London, after witnesses reported he was shot in the face with a shotgun. another man, 25, suffered non-life-threatening injuries
June 6 A teenage boy was left fighting for his life after he and two others were shot in Brixton at around 11pm
July 9 Gunman shoots three times at woman, but misses
July 27 Four men aged between 20 and 22 were arrested on suspicion of attempted murder after exchanging gun fire with police in Forest Gate
August 20 Armed police swarm a school in Maida Hill, West London, after "shots fired" as terrified staff cower in classroom cupboard
August 20 A woman, 30, and two men - aged 18 and 24 - were rushed to hospital following a drive-by shooting outside Kingsbury Tube station
September 20 A 34-year-old woman and a 40-year-old man were left injured, following a shooting on Essex Road, Islington
September 23 A 19-year-old man died after being gunned down in the street in Walthamstow
October 11 Hashim Abdalla Ali, 22, was shot dead while sitting in the passenger seat of a car in Hayes, west London. A 27-year-old man was charged.
October 22 Ethan Nedd-Bruce, 18, was shot dead in Greenwich.
December 11 Richard Odunze-Dim, 20, was fatally shot in Edmonton, north London. Police are appealing for witnesses.

How is it even remotely possible that these folks were shot in the UK? Could it be that removing guns from the law abiding citizens does in deed reduce the number of guns, but it doesn't remove the guns from the criminals at all. And it seems they are the ones killing people either way. So my idea is to just take the guns away from bad folk.

a reply to: JAGStorm

Ah the false choco coins haha I almost forgot them!
1 Mark... oh my god how many strawberry chewing strings you could buy with these. Or sour tongues.

Now you get 10 for a Euro....(that is, 2 Mark).

a reply to: Identified
I hated my daily chores but today I know it was good that I had to do them. How can one live in a own household if one never learned to clean or cook? Or do paperwork, finances...

Yes, clearly the parents are at fault and not the kids. I do not want to compare kids to dogs (but here I am doing it though), dogs that fight, are not social to other dogs, are always aggressive, it´s not only the breed. A big big part is the owner, or in the childrens cases, the parents.

I think it is not that extreme everywhere (I dislike absolutes like "always","everywhere"), just wanted that you all know that. But almost every story has a tiny true core at least.

a reply to: JAGStorm

Most of these kids today would have hid under their bed if they had to live with Algierians blowing up France and the IRA in the UK or the PLO bombings in Italy and Germany that happened all the time in 80s Europe.

a reply to: Nyiah

My parents never neglected me, it is a bit insulting to hear that. I know you are just citing your law and I do not say you are unfriendly.

But wtf really. Excuse my bad language I need to express my unbelieve and surprise. I read that you are of my opinion and had also much freedom. And I guess it was good for us both.

a reply to: Oleandra88

The helicopter parent creep has seeped into most Western societies now from my experience.

In some places in America they won't even let a child off the school bus unless an adult is there to meet them.

High School students (ages 13-19) have cars waiting for them. All lined up on the street waiting for the school bus to drop the kids off. It's ridiculous! That's assuming the school doesn't drop the kid in each and every driveway instead of making a them muster down the road.

When I was in highschool, 1989 grad, there were pickup trucks in the parking lot with gun racks in them. And yes, many with a gun in them.
Lots of kids carried pocket knives.

No murders.
No gun shot wounds.

So no, it's not a weapons problem.

Personally I think it's a combination of mental problems being treated with medication, generations of kids being raised where their feelings were the most important thing in their lives and the notoriety that is given to nutters.
They want to be remembered like Manson and Bundy.

a reply to: Identified
And when do the kids have time to be alone with themselfes then? I guess you all get homework, too, to finish after school. I can not fathom this completely.

You mean, between going to school and leaving school, you have only the breaks? You can not talk to your friends in a private conversation where no teacher or parent is around?

Oh god. Sorry I am just negative amazed. I do not want to insult or offend any Americans. It is just... I can not get around this??

originally posted by: Oleandra88
a reply to: Nyiah

My parents never neglected me, it is a bit insulting to hear that. I know you are just citing your law and I do not say you are unfriendly.

But wtf really. Excuse my bad language I need to express my unbelieve and surprise. I read that you are of my opinion and had also much freedom. And I guess it was good for us both.

Oh, I agree, it IS insulting. How are kids supposed to learn responsibility & reliability if they can't get out and practice it in the first place? My roaming freedom growing up helped me to learn how to be on time (approximately when I'd get somewhere, and when I'd get back home) and how to keep my word (going exactly where I said I would and nowhere else) If I ever violated either of those two when I was roaming around, I got in big trouble for it. If I said I was going 10 blocks away to my friend's house, I'd had BETTER be there. If I said I was going to the beach in the mangroves, I had BETTER be there.

My kids are 10 and 11, they have roaming freedom like every other kid in this neighborhood does. On that note, we're in an area that is much more relaxed than most, I've seen 5 years olds in small groups walking many blocks to the ice cream shop for a cone at 8pm. They seem capable of being observant and staying safe, so no one gets upset about it.

My kids choose to stay within a few blocks of home and don't go any further without an adult. That's learned responsibility there on their part, we didn't mandate that. But it's good to know that they placed their own limits and don't push them before they're ready to go further away by themselves.

a reply to: Oleandra88

Well put in comparison to dogs.

a reply to: Oleandra88

Itsm the law in many States that kids can't be left alone.

We have a movement called Free Range kids (sort of the anti helicopter parent) where parents have been arrested and their kids taken away because a 5 year old was playing at a park next door to his house. Or a 7 year old waited for the bus by himself.

Some States though have started to pass Free Range laws where it is not illegal for parents to decide how mature their kids are and to allow them to do things that you and I did as a kid.

a reply to: Oleandra88

Kids don't have friends nowadays. Or they talk online only.

But nope. Kids can't even be alone in classrooms anymore. Nope, not today! Kids have to be watched all the time.

I'm sure they get alone time in their bedroom but some adult is always in the house or nearby to keep them safe.

Teens don't even babysit anymore. I know parents who get babysitters for their teenagers if they are going to be gone long hours or in the evening.

a reply to: Nyiah

I was raised the same way.