What is a man? A response to Gillette

After the Gillette "Toxic Masculinity" ad, I kept an eye out for a good response to that ad. I didn't like the Gillette ad. I thought it was trite and superficial. For example, catcalling is nothing compared to date rape. A couple little boys roughhousing is nothing compared to three big boys beating the crap out of one little boy. And so on. The examples provided in the Gillette ad were rather trite, and more annoyances than offensive.

Sure, there are men who behave badly... just as there are women who behave badly... but by and large, the vast majority of us try to be good people, responsible people, people of honor and integrity and good will. And men hurt just like women do. Men don't have perfect lives. Men don't live in a bubble of bliss. Men have to deal with much of the same crap as women in this world we share -- in fact, perhaps more.

This video puts some of the hardships men face into perspective:
--Men account for 93% of workplace fatalities
--Men account for 97% war fatalities
--Men account for 79% all homicide victims
--Men account for 80% suicide victims
--Men account for 75% homeless
--Almost half of men without visitation rights pay child support

The video ends with "We see the good in men." Me too. I've been blessed to be surrounded by good men my entire life, and I know the world is better for all of us thanks to the words and deeds of so many men. I don't want to see all men thrown under the bus for the bad behavior of the few any more than I want to see all women thrown under the bus for the bad behavior of a few.

In my seldom humble opinion, we can all do better. But we have to stop seeing each other as the enemy. We aren't enemies. We're in this together.


Here's to the awesome men in the world

Great post from one of this site's most level headed posters.

Thanks for the video, but your summation is worth much more to me as a man.

Thank you.

originally posted by: TomLawless
Great post from one of this site's most level headed posters.

Thanks for the video, but your summation is worth much more to me as a man.

Thank you.

You're welcome -- and beyond that I don't even know what to say.

Except that I'm very glad you appreciate it... and I hope you know you are appreciated.

originally posted by: Boadicea
This video puts some of the hardships men face into perspective:
--Men account for 93% of workplace fatalities
--Men account for 97% war fatalities
--Men account for 79% all homicide victims
--Men account for 80% suicide victims
--Men account for 75% homeless
--Almost half of men without visitation rights pay child support

--Men account for 100% of people who can legibly write their name in the snow.
--Men account for 100% of all spiders killed in the home.
--Men account for 100% of all Dutch Ovens in the marital relationship.

a reply to: Boadicea

The thing that has always confused me is society (through media/entertainment/school) keeps trying to tell us what the proper way to play our gender role is.

There real place you're going to learn valuable roles that way is through family units IMO. Parents really got to step up and teach their kids that, and like you said, there is healthy gender roles and some take it too far.

I don't think there is only one definition for a man. I'm sure all of us have known real stern men who are short and direct with their words, never talk about how they feel, but provide for their family and truly care, and we admire them for that. We also know men who are just as willing to go shoot guns or do any other masculine task as they are to braid their daughters hair and have a tea party. At the end of the day, I suppose it just comes down to being a good person.

a reply to: AugustusMasonicus

Ooops! Didn't see this before I responded:

Men account for 100% of all spiders killed in the home.

Not in this home! I save my hubby from spiders and he saves me from everything else... fair enough to me! I'll take spiders -- even wolf spiders! -- over scorpions or children of the earth any day!!!

a reply to: AugustusMasonicus

--Men account for 100% of all spiders killed in the home.

When I was 10 and in Texas, I went to the garage to mow the lawn and there was a tarantula in there... I had no problem handling non-venomous snakes even at that age but big spiders were an absolute no go.

Madre took care of the tarantula for me, but then again, she's one badass gal.

a reply to: CriticalStinker


You sound like a 'man' who uses Gillette products.

originally posted by: AugustusMasonicus
a reply to: CriticalStinker


You sound like a 'man' who uses Gillette products.

Pfftt. I always keep a half ass trimmed apathy beard.

If I did use razors, which I am hesitant to bring into the regiment, I certainly wouldn't use a brands razor for their ad campaigns, I'd just find out which was cheap but still had good quality. Gillette certainly doesn't fit that bill.

originally posted by: CriticalStinker
a reply to: Boadicea

The thing that has always confused me is society (through media/entertainment/school) keeps trying to tell us what the proper way to play our gender role is.

Yup... and look where it's gotten us!

There real place you're going to learn valuable roles that way is through family units IMO. Parents really got to step up and teach their kids that, and like you said, there is healthy gender roles and some take it too far.

I agree. The home is our sanctuary -- or should be -- where we can express ourselves freely and know that we are loved and valued and appreciated. Not judged for being too this or not enough of that. Where we can learn and practice and explore ourselves and the world.

I don't think there is only one definition for a man. I'm sure all of us have known real stern men who are short and direct with their words, never talk about how they feel, but provide for their family and truly care, and we admire them for that. We also know men who are just as willing to go shoot guns or do any other masculine task as they are to braid their daughters hair and have a tea party. At the end of the day, I suppose it just comes down to being a good person.

That's it: Just being good people. Good to ourselves and good to each other. Raising my son and daughter, we never had two sets of values or principles for them to follow. All of the most important values and principles are just about being good people, not a good "man" or a good "woman."

What is a man?

Someone who is incapable of walking past a ball without kicking it.

Someone who is incapable of walking down a street without working out the best sniping positions.

Someone who, no matter how ugly, is incapable of walking past a pretty lady without thinking "she wants me".......

originally posted by: CriticalStinker
If I did use razors, which I am hesitant to bring into the regiment, I certainly wouldn't use a brands razor for their ad campaigns, I'd just find out which was cheap but still had good quality. Gillette certainly doesn't fit that bill.

Real men use straight razors. Sometimes they even shave with them.

a reply to: Boadicea

I buy gilette razors not because of advertising but because the razor handle thing was on sale and I needed to shave. Not because of an ad.

Either way the initial response was blown away out of proportion to be honest.

a reply to: Boadicea

That's it: Just being good people. Good to ourselves and good to each other. Raising my son and daughter, we never had two sets of values or principles for them to follow. All of the most important values and principles are just about being good people, not a good "man" or a good "woman."

That's how me and my sister were raised.

She's very "girly" in many ways but she is also a black belt and volunteers handling wild animals at the rescue. She's also a hell of a shot with guns.

I'm masculine in the build and many of my hobbies... But I'm not ashamed to make someone the best cup of tea from my collection of loose tea or cook for them. And while I tend to approach things as logically as possible, I'm aware sometimes my emotions will come into play, and I'm not afraid to say that.

originally posted by: AugustusMasonicus

originally posted by: CriticalStinker
If I did use razors, which I am hesitant to bring into the regiment, I certainly wouldn't use a brands razor for their ad campaigns, I'd just find out which was cheap but still had good quality. Gillette certainly doesn't fit that bill.

Real men use straight razors. Sometimes they even shave with them.

Real men have four 3 finger bourbons and then shave with a straight razor.

originally posted by: strongfp
a reply to: Boadicea

Either way the initial response was blown away out of proportion to be honest.

I thought so as well. But I also suspect that ad was geared for exactly that purpose. I was shocked (and disappointed) at the level of defensiveness on the part of men (and many women too). And I kinda got why, because I thought the ad was rather petty.

But I also notice that Proctor & Gamble -- parent company of Gillette -- is quite big on the Trans bandwagon, and I strongly suspect that the focus on "toxic masculinity" is in large part a deflection from the VERY 'toxic masculinity" of the Trans Agenda. Maybe I'm wrongly conflating the two, but I don't think so. Men can't stand up for women if they're too busy defending themselves from vague and unfair accusations, eh? Divide-and-conquer...

a reply to: CriticalStinker

That's how me and my sister were raised. She's very "girly" in many ways but she is also a black belt and volunteers handling wild animals at the rescue. She's also a hell of a shot with guns.

That sounds like my daughter! Minus the black belt part. My daughter is a veterinary tech and certified as an Emergency Animal Tech. She doesn't usually have to deal with wild animals, but she can handle a Rottweiler like nobody's business! And animals absolutely love her. They love her more than me -- and for some reason even strange animals love me. But they absolutely melt for her. And she's a whiz with firearms. My son is quite impressed with her skills (and for him to be impressed is really saying something!) She's just as comfortable in jeans and hiking boots as she is in dresses and high heels. I don't get it, but that's my girl!!!

I'm masculine in the build and many of my hobbies... But I'm not ashamed to make someone the best cup of tea from my collection of loose tea or cook for them. And while I tend to approach things as logically as possible, I'm aware sometimes my emotions will come into play, and I'm not afraid to say that.

And that sounds like my son... He is as practical and logical and rational as they come. And he tries to be as practical and logical as possible. And he doesn't show it often, but his emotions run deep. He just knows that he has to control his emotions, not let them control him.

a reply to: Boadicea

Emotional intelligence is a phrase that has been lost in time for the most part.

Part of it is society telling us all of our emotions are OK and true (best way I could phrase it)... And also with the advent of instant communication in every form, people are capitalizing on emotion for money or agenda.

originally posted by: CriticalStinker

originally posted by: AugustusMasonicus

originally posted by: CriticalStinker
If I did use razors, which I am hesitant to bring into the regiment, I certainly wouldn't use a brands razor for their ad campaigns, I'd just find out which was cheap but still had good quality. Gillette certainly doesn't fit that bill.

Real men use straight razors. Sometimes they even shave with them.

Real men have four 3 finger bourbons and then shave with a straight razor.

....and no lather.