is this a thing?

Many years ago I liked a guy and he liked me, but it never happened. He was on my mind quite some time. A few years later I saw him with his soon to be wife and my thoughts were: holy # a wrinkly bimbo clownface skeleton how did that happen? It bothered me because he went from me to that? Whaaaaat?
Thanks to the miracle of the internet I stumbled over a photo from 3 years ago when they came together and now I feel a lot better, she used to be beautiful, looked healthy and a lot less... old.
Now I'm a bit confused about my own thoughts and don't know what to think. Should I feel bad because she seems to be sick? Or is it okay for me to be happy I never started something with him because maybe he makes her age that rapidly?
They're happy and all is well for them so it's okay if my thoughts are maybe a little bit mean, right? And I'm thinking kind of kudos to him he marries her after that development. And it's really bad, all bones with wrinkles covered by a ton of not very pretty paint on her face.
I'm laughing, next second but oh my she looks like cancer and followed by the question if he is doing that to her so I'm glad it isn't me and all in all just
How #ty is that from me? Am I an asshole because of this?

a reply to: Peeple

Never judge yourself for having thoughts working a problem out. It's the end result that matters.

a reply to: Peeple

Sounds like you dodged a bullet. If you had married him, you might look like that now.

a reply to: OccamsRazor04

Thank you. That's helpful. Mostly I guess it just was surprising that's why I'm thinking about it. And why is it so funny? I suck at all that relationship stuff, I never know what to think and to feel.

a reply to: underwerks

That's kind of what I'm thinking. And ... the lesson is maybe that's what too much partying can do to you kids.

a reply to: Peeple

And ...
the lesson is maybe that's what too much partying can do to you kids.

We'll see.

originally posted by: Peeple
a reply to: OccamsRazor04

Thank you. That's helpful. Mostly I guess it just was surprising that's why I'm thinking about it. And why is it so funny? I suck at all that relationship stuff, I never know what to think and to feel.

In our PC world it's easy to feel guilty about our thoughts. You shouldn't. That inner monologue as we work things out is important. It's normal what you went through. Her being beautiful makes you feel better about yourself. There are many reasons why, maybe it makes you think if she is that beautiful then you must also be beautiful since he liked both of you.

Anyways, all I saw was a completely normal human response. I have degrees in the field and did behavioral management in a psychiatric facility for 9 years.

a reply to: underwerks

What do you mean? Are you conducting an experiment on yourself?

a reply to: OccamsRazor04

On a good day I feel like Scarlett Johansson on a bad day like Roseanne is that also normal? It's superficial and I know that but I like it when my exes and almosts are doing well after me.

You stalked this guy's fiancee on the internet?

And you're basing everything on her looks alone?

I think he's the one who dodged the bullet.

a reply to: Peeple

My life is a rolling experiment in the greatest gonzo tradition.

Hunter S. Thompson would be proud.

a reply to: Peeple

That sounds normal without having more information. Ups and downs are normal. It's when they are extreme, happen fast, and impact your daily life that it's a concern.

a reply to: NthOther

Wow you are judgmental. Is it stalking when I was curious and took a glance at her insta? That's why people put their stuff on there not? For others to see. It's not like I was hiding in the bushes at her house.
I'm just happy I don't know you in real life.
And I don't know her so what else could I base my impression of her on? You make no sense

Think that goes away with age and well maturity, got a lot of ex's and a lot of ones that got away, but now I wouldn't give up my two daughters for anything and I've been at peace with my ex-wife for awhile now. Can't let people in your head like that in my experience. But I got lucky her new husband is actually a good guy, he was good to my daughters and I know it could have been worse. LOL when i hear rumblings from my now adult daughters about their Mom I feel sad she is struggling with her demons like we all are to some degree.

Who knows maybe if you and him had stayed together it would be him that looks like death warmed over by now. For me all I got time to worry about is my small close circle, that keeps me busy enough as it is.

a reply to: underwerks

You're funny. Rock on

a reply to: OccamsRazor04

No. I'm fine it just impacts my choice of clothes for the day. Since you're here, let me lay on your couch for a second: do you think what I did was stalking? No right? It was just a quick 10 minutes scroll. Is that unhealthy it interested me enough to look?

a reply to: putnam6

It's always sad when a family breaks apart. That's why we marry in the first place right, to have a partner in good and bad until the end?
Was it hard for your kids? Or were you able to be there for them anyways? My parents got divorced when I was 12 and I hated the new partners both of them had.

a reply to: Peeple

I mean if you are looking for people to point out the obvious, then yes you are kind of a b*tch for ragging on this dudes wife because you think she is so 'wrinkly bimbo clownface skeleton' and also you are clearly still hung up on him just by taking the time to do the IG stalk.

That being said - girls are #ing wierd. This kind of # matters to them like no other. My SO social media stalks people from our past all the time.

Me? My ex got married and I didnt even look past the actual wedding photo. Good for her. And he looks like most young guys do these days, an average douche. Much like myself I imagine.

To each their own.

a reply to: Peeple

Wow you are judgmental.

Maybe it isn't such a good idea to call somebody else judgemental after having just called a woman you don't even know a "wrinkly bimbo clownface skeleton".

But hey, that's just me.

Sounds like somebody still has feelings for the "wrinkly bimbo clownface skeleton's" husband. Let it go.....

a reply to: lightedhype

ETA - in short, ignore my honest jackass comments.

Yes it is a thing. Dont need to feel any type of way about it especially bad.

a reply to: lightedhype

I don't know but maybe women are more interested in that stuff because of it being their job for generations to keep the family all together? They care more about people and what they're doing I don't feel bad about that.

And it's really bad I'd show you a picture but obviously won't but trust me it is bad that's why I was a little shocked. And they're happy so that's fine. Tomorrow I've moved on I bet. It's just you know saturday and I have time....