When did you decide you'd be attracted to the opposite sex??

So my cousin 'came out' to the rest of the family a few weeks ago. I guess it wasn't a surprise to me given she's now in her late 30s, never been married or in a serious relationship, always displayed those strong tomboy traits and never took an interest in a single guy for as long as I've known her. She shacked up with this woman she knew from her previous job. Not sure the exact details but she's in this same sex relationship, living at this woman's house, much to the dismay of my uncle and my parents. I mean gosh I'm happy for her, she's got somebody to love but let's just say it's not sitting too well with the ol' folks.

So I was over at my parents yesterday for lunch and my father decided to bring up this new relationship of my cousin. Ok... I mean maybe my uncle is whining to my dad, I don't know. My dad's usually not vocal on social or political issues and I make an effort not to bring it up in the family home. This was different I guess. He decided to bring up the fact my cousin has caused my uncle all the grief... How she couldn't have just settled with any John Smith who could take care of her. He doesn't seem to understand why on Earth she's chosen a woman. It's almost as if he was perplexed at the fact my cousin would have this thought process of subsituting a man with a woman in a relationship and how it made absolutely no sense. Said she could forget about raising a family, questioned her financial security. I mean I don't want to go on, I felt extremely uncomfortable hearing all this. I know my dad's conservative but he's always sorta held back on this sort of stuff out of respect for the family household. On occasion there'd be some conversation but at the table, we'd hold off on this sorta stuff. They know my views as well. Long story short I questioned my father on when he decided he'd go for women? When did he make the choice to be a straight man? God golly I stepped outta bounds according to him. He couldn't really answer this question of mine. He said I should recorgnize that my cousin has a 'choice' and this is what she 'chose'. I mean she 'chose' to be attracted to another woman? How? It got heated, I left early, not talking to the old man right now.

I really want to pose this question to ATSers. When did you decide you would only be attracted to the opposite sex? I mean I'm straight and I sure as hell can't recall making this decision. And you sure as hell couldn't pay me to cross to the otherside. Heck I started noticing girls at the age of 8. It was completely natural. Heck I remember watching Lynda Carter in Wonderwoman and I was absoltely in love with this woman. It was completely natural and automatic to me. I was attracted to her, naturally. Nobody influenced me, not that I can recall. My emotions are there. So why can't the same be the case for gays and lesbians?? What's so hard to understand? I mean I admit I don't have any gay friends, just my cousin. Haven't really spoken to her since the coming out (she posted on Facebook of all places). I mean it's deep within you, these emotions, these attractions. You can't change em'. What's so hard to understand? Are we to assume gays put themselves through this ordeal and discrimmination because well, they want the attention? Think about what they experienced 20-30 years ago coming out? Jesus who would choose to go through that?? I mean we've all heard of married men coming out as gay right? After years of being married and socially influenced that way. Breaking their family, breaking relationships. How can anybody believe this is a 'choice'? Those emotional impulses are built into you. Why's it so hard to understand??

Rant over.

a reply to: Southern Guardian


My career as a serial misogynist began in elementary school, I think I was 7 or so. It's also when I began to hone my mansplaining skills.

originally posted by: Southern Guardian
So my cousin 'came out' to the rest of the family a few weeks ago. I guess it wasn't a surprise to me given she's now in her late 30s, never been married or in a serious relationship, always displayed those strong tomboy traits and never took an interest in a single guy for as long as I've known her. She shacked up with this woman she knew from her previous job. Not sure the exact details but she's in this same sex relationship, living at this woman's house, much to the dismay of my uncle and my parents. I mean gosh I'm happy for her, she's got somebody to love but let's just say it's not sitting too well with the ol' folks.

So I was over at my parents on Sunday for lunch and my father decided to bring up this new relationship of my cousin. Ok... I mean maybe my uncle is whining to my dad, I don't know. My dad's usually not vocal on social or political issues and I make an effort not to bring it up in the family home. This was different I guess. He decided to bring up the fact my cousin has caused my uncle all the grief... How she couldn't have just settled with any John Smith who could take care of her. He doesn't seem to understand why on Earth she's chosen a woman. It's almost as if he was perplexed at the fact my cousin would have this thought process of subsituting a man with a woman in a relationship and how it made absolutely no sense. Said she could forget about raising a family, questioned her financial security. I mean I don't want to go on, I felt extremely uncomfortable hearing all this. I know my dad's conservative but he's always sorta held back on this sort of stuff out of respect for the family household. On occasion there'd be some conversation but at the table, we'd hold off on this sorta stuff. They know my views as well. Long story short I questioned my father on when he decided he'd go for women? When did he make the choice to be a straight man? God golly I stepped outta bounds according to him. He couldn't really answer this question of mine. He said I should recorgnize that my cousin has a 'choice' and this is what she 'chose'. I mean she 'chose' to be attracted to another woman? How? It got heated, I left early, not talking to the old man right now.

I really want to pose this question to ATSers. When did you decide you would only be attracted to the opposite sex? I mean I'm straight and I sure as hell can't recall making this decision. And you sure as hell couldn't pay me to cross to the otherside. Heck I started noticing girls at the age of 8. It was completely natural. Heck I remember watching Lynda Carter in Wonderwoman and I was absoltely in love with this woman. It was completely natural and automatic to me. I was attracted to her, naturally. Nobody influenced me, not that I can recall. My emotions are there. So why can't the same be the case for gays and lesbians?? What's so hard to understand? I mean I admit I don't have any gay friends, just my cousin. Haven't really spoken to her since the coming out (she posted on Facebook of all places). I mean it's deep within you, these emotions, these attractions. You can't change em'. What's so hard to understand? Are we to assume gays put themselves through this ordeal and discrimmination because well, they want the attention? Think about what they experienced 20-30 years ago coming out? Jesus who would choose to go through that?? I mean we've all heard of married men coming out as gay right? After years of being married and socially influenced that way. Breaking their family, breaking relationships. How can anybody believe this is a 'choice'? Those emotional impulses are built into you. Why's it so hard to understand??

Rant over.

Sorry that your father is a bigot.

a reply to: AugustusMasonicus

you devil youuuu..

Thanks for the humor Augustus... I need it right now.

a reply to: Saibotkram1988

Sorry that your father is a bigot.

My father is from a different generation. He's a man of his time. He is well and truly a great man, taught me many things.

Mansplaining, is this an art? Where do I sign up, I would love to learn this, exclusive trait.

a reply to: Southern Guardian

6, I realized I like the Ta-tas A LOT!

Her waiting till she is 30 is a very weird thing in this day and age. Makes me question your family values or her mental capacity.

I think your dad has a very good understanding of what's going on. A woman's sexual fluidity is an interesting thing.


ps

originally posted by: Sapphire
Mansplaining, is this an art? Where do I sign up, I would love to learn this, exclusive trait.

HUH!?!?!

The moment I heard AC/DC when I was 14, I knew I liked boys. Highway to Hell. It's been Hell ever since.

I'm told I've been chasing the cute girls ever since I could run.

originally posted by: Sapphire

Mansplaining, is this an art? Where do I sign up, I would love to learn this, exclusive trait.

Sure, I'd be more than happy to teach another female something. Sit down and let me tell you how this all works.

a reply to: AugustusMasonicus

Whenever you're ready.

originally posted by: Southern Guardian

I really want to pose this question to ATSers. When did you decide you would only be attracted to the opposite sex?

Good points in your rant, but you wanted to ask me a question. I don't think i "decided" to be only attracted to the opposite sex. Right now i am a 37 year old straight male. When i was in the kindergarten, i think we were all from ages 4 to 6. A girl asked me outside this playhouse and kissed me on the lips and then she left. I was like what is this? What is the function of 2 human beings putting their lips together? I am a very emotional, not rational, man. But i think back then i thought things over more rationally than today.

Then came the teen years. Some of my teachers, some actressess on TV, somehow sparked my interest. It was like a some sort of a snowball effect that i had no influence over.

a reply to: Southern Guardian

I've always been attracted to women, I remember starting to "like" girls at around 7.

I wouldn't stay too hung up on what your dad said, like you said he's from a different time. Likely, he is as convicted as you are on his beliefs and unlikely to be swayed from them.

I have no problem with people's lifestyle decisions, but can see that he is at least coming from a place that sounds like "legitimate" concerns in his eyes, and looking after for her long term well being. We all see things different.

Either way Guardian, props to opening up a little to us, I look forward to you possibly doing that from time to time.

I'm sure this one will blow over and eventually unconditional love will outweigh his distaste for her decision to come out, and in a few months this will likely be a non-issue.

a reply to: Southern Guardian

5 or 6. Irish girl down the street with black hair in pony tails and the cutest nose. Then we moved when I was 7 so it was definitely pretty young since I remember her.

When I was in college, I took a human sexuality class. It was the most popular class on campus. You had to wait until you were a senior to take it and it was located in the biggest lecture hall on campus. During one of the classes, they had a homosexual guess speaker. When you looked at this guy he did not look different than anyone else. He did not talk swooshy or anything. He just looked normal. He then went on to tell his story. He said, when he was young, he just knew he was wired differently. He said when he would look at the women in Playboy magazine he would not get an erection. He said he would get no reaction at all when he looked at a woman's body. He said women just did not work for him.

So I've interpolated this information to mean if you can get an erection in the presence of a naked woman's body then you are pretty much at least a heterosexual.

It happened the day my testicles dropped. A little cartoon tweety bird (not twitter) came up on my shoulder and asked me, "do you like pee-pee or vajay?" I said "I like Pepe the Frog". Then he pooped on my shoulder and left. Now I don't know who I'm attracted to

originally posted by: CriticalStinker
I've always been attracted to women, I remember starting to "like" girls at around 7.

An even more interesting question would be 'when do you think the opposite sex became interested in YOU?'.

In my case it's 'never'.

a reply to: AugustusMasonicus

In the human sexuality class I mentioned in my post, the professor said they way to get people interested in you is to be interested in something else. For example, get into a biking club or something.

originally posted by: dfnj2015
...they had a homosexual guess speaker.

What does one of them do? Come in and prognosticate on who's gonna turn out gay? Must be hell on the people he guesses wrong on.

'You're gay.'

'No, I'm not actually.'

'Yup, you're totally gay.'

originally posted by: dfnj2015
In the human sexuality class I mentioned in my post, the professor said they way to get people interested in you is to be interested in something else. For example, get into a biking club or something.

Next you're going to tell me I also need to listen to what they're saying.

originally posted by: AugustusMasonicus

originally posted by: CriticalStinker
I've always been attracted to women, I remember starting to "like" girls at around 7.

An even more interesting question would be 'when do you think the opposite sex became interested in YOU?'.

In my case it's 'never'.

Preaching to the choir man. That's why you have to develop yourself to manipulate people. While there are many schools of thoughts on the most effective way to do this, I personally like "The Dennis System".