When did you decide you'd be attracted to the opposite sex??

a reply to: CriticalStinker

I usually resort to negging.

a reply to: AugustusMasonicus

He was not the professor. It was just some gay guy who was invited by the professor to speak about what it meant to him to be a homosexual. He did not talk about who would turn out to be gay at all. As I said, he just told his story.

It's it funny how the people who are most outspoken against homosexuality turn out to be one in the end!

a reply to: dfnj2015


You missed the joke, you said 'guess speaker'.

I think it had something to do with my Teddy Bear when I was around 6 years old and the different prison sentences that followed.

a reply to: Southern Guardian

WKRP, watching Loni Anderson smile and parade those amazing mammary glands around was enough at the time.

I never had any feelings about kissing a dude. I don't think I "chose", I think it was just natural.

a reply to: Southern Guardian

I guess it wasn't a surprise to me given she's now in her late 30s, never been married or in a serious relationship, always displayed those strong tomboy traits and never took an interest in a single guy for as long as I've known her.

I had to look at this twice because at age 30 many of my friends would have said the same thing about me. I am twice that age now, still not married, still not interested in a single guy, yet I have never been attracted to women.

Being the oldest of ten siblings and raised in the country, made me responsible for others my whole life. I raised one nephew from age nine, and two nieces from infancy.

I don't regret one single second of serving those that needed me, over personal relationships. Though I know that it seems an odd choice by many, I just never saw a relationship that made me think, "Now that is the relationship I want for the rest of my life!"

I definitely like men. I just never found one I wanted to spend the rest of my life with.

I know some people think that not having a relationship with the opposite sex means that a person has an attraction to the same sex. Not always true. At least not for me.

My first crush was pre-primary, when I was betwen 3 and 4.
I suppose my parents set the precedent, but I’m a male that’s always been attracted to females, I’ve never had to question it. My theory has always been ‘love the one you’re with’.

I’ve had some bad relationships in the past, I was single between 2013-2018 just because it was easier. Never did the one night-stand thing. Found me a girlfriend about 2 months ago, and it’s been going well.

But i’ve always just known I’m a man who likes females.
It most definitely wasn’t a choice though, it’s just who I am.

I remember stealing dad's Playboys at 7-8.

SG,..I think it's different for everyone.

My sister came back from Sarah Lawrence College and announced to the family she was Gay...then moved in with her GF.
Nobody was upset about it...in fact, everyone wished them well.

A year later, she met a nice guy and was married.

I never felt any draw towards men, it was always women.

One thing has always confused me though.
I know several gay men and women.
All of the female couples have what I call a butch, ya know a girl with man traits.
Wallet, man type hair cut, no makeup. Etc..
The other is all feminine.

The men on the other hand are opposite, either both masculine or both flaming.

Now this is from personal experience and it is nothing like television gays.
Is this a common thing or am I totally off the mark?

I think part of what confuses the issue is a thing called Bisexuality. Some people are straight, some people are gay, but the majority fall into some form of bisexuality with a preference one way or the other. Personally I'd argue there is no true straight or gay, just really strong preference. So to some degree it's a "choice" in the same way someone could manage to barely stomach one food but really love and enjoy another food, but choose to never eat the food they love and only ever eat the food they can barely stomach. Not a very enjoyable choice, and one that would make a person miserable, but still a choice I guess in the strictest sense.

I remember being 6 years old and had a crush on a daughter of my dads friend. We even got set up on a "date" (mostly me feeling awkward and showing toys). Shortly after that I went to school and found I was having lots of crushes on various girls. Guys were just guys...but girls made me feel goofy and in "love"....so I guess I always knew I was hetro.

a reply to: Southern Guardian

I'd say I made the decision somewhere around the 4th or 5th grade. Before that, girls were icky.

If you get a chance, you should watch the Adam Ruins Everything episode where he discusses marriage. (In fact, I think Adam Ruins Everything should be required viewing for all ATS members.) The idea of marrying for love is still a relatively new concept. It was far more common for people to marry for reasons like politics, power, money, status, etc. Love, sex, and marriage were (and still are, really) three completely different things.

There are a lot of people I love that I wouldn't have sex with. There are a lot of women I would have sex with but not marry. And at this stage of my life I don't see much point in getting married without a good reason.

You may not recall being influenced to be heterosexual, but if you could review your life you might be able to pick out the influences. I'd bet Linda Carter had just just as much influence on many young girls as she did young boys.

You should ponder whether your father has trouble understanding cousin's sexual attraction or your cousin's decision to be in a relationship that may not have a prosperous future. Would he think differently if your cousin's significant other were a billionaire?

a reply to: IAMTAT

I remember stealing dad's Playboys at 7-8.

Lucky.

All I had was the lingerie section of the Jc Penny catalog.

a reply to: Bluntone22

I think like anything there is a spectrum, probably with some tendencies towards a certain way.

I've met some gay people from both genders you would have no idea.

It probably again comes down to preference. Maybe some guys like other guys exhibiting more feminine aspects and vise versa. I'm sure it's the same for women.

And then you have people who are more inclined to broadcast their lifestyle choices, or some people personally define themselves by something they identify with.

a reply to: VictorVonDoom

You got me to thinking. Marrying for "love" alone. How many of those marriages would stand the test of life and time?

I know only two people who have marriages that "seem" strong enough to endure. Both are second marriages for at least one partner. I have two other friends that have been married forever and they seem happy, but they were arranged marriages, they didn't even know each other before the families made the arrangements.

I guess successful relationships are indeed by choice, regardless of the gender.

a reply to: Southern Guardian

Having so few offers at this point I'm open to most things lol. Well not most things. Although apparently in the next few decades we'll see the idea of straight as default to fade away and instead people will just bump uglies with anyone willing.

a reply to: AugustusMasonicus

you waited till age 7 ?????????????

pah - lightweight

i was vocally critical of my mothers childbrithing technique - and the preformance of the attending midwife - from the very second i emerged .

my disdain for others has increased exponentially since then

originally posted by: neo96
a reply to: IAMTAT

I remember stealing dad's Playboys at 7-8.

Lucky.

All I had was the lingerie section of the Jc Penny catalog.

HEY!...my wife was once one of those models!

3? 4?

Tina Turner and those legs and hair!