I didn't know that I am a hikikomori.

a reply to: GiulXainx

I choose to control nobody or any circumstances that are out of my control, which includes human interaction and communication. I put my full focus on what I can make happen or not happen only.

To put it most simply... nobody cares how much one knows when they know how much one cares.

You are quite intelligent obviously, driven, and in a position of which your influence can weigh heavy on the team(s) you work with. Having a desire to teach others what has been learned is a natural desire when one begins or approached an experts level of knowledge.

The trick of the trade when it comes to education is to teach the art of learning. Learning is what we do for ourselves. Education requires another to achieve. It is a seldom occurrence for educational paths to lay foundations of extreme value when the mentor/study relationship is not in firm contract prior to entry into education. Offering questions as opposed to answers assists in turning education to learning.

I am glad to read how you relate to the team you work with on a personal level. I have found that I have learned about human connection and communication on levels I never imagined when expressing empathy and a listening ear. The value of these understandings not only serves others, but it is often me who leaves the energy spent with a higher value of learning...

Keep up the good fight!!!

You use the words 'bored and boring" quite a bit.

Is there nothing that interests you? You have no hobbies?

There are so many things on this earth -- people, places, and things and topics that interest me. I cannot imagine being bored.

Are you sure "bored" is the correct word for how you feel?

I don't see the problem.
youre doing what you want to do.

I don't think giving yourself a special label helps.
though I suspect you just want to use it as an excuse.

why stop with one self prescribed label?

degenerate.

a reply to: GiulXainx

Agree on the phone. Flip for me works.

I've been a janitor in a variety of fields. I took pride in my job, took condescension and ridicule with dignity, learned a lot about myself and my fellow man, but I never want to do it again. Dishwashing, too. I guess I think that I graduated from it.

I don't eat at restaurants, and I use public toilets as seldom as possible, so it's on to better things...

a reply to: angeldoll

I have played video games since I was about 7 years old. The number of video games I have completed are up there as well. I started on the SNES, and now have a PS4/Ryzen computer now.

When it comes to sports I played them. But I didn't like the teams I played on. Watching any sport is just as boring. Sometimes I watch e-sports, but I do not do it religiously.

When it comes to concerts I have worked at too many of them. It got stale after the first two I worked for. I have worked at several from all ends of the spectrum in music. The worst ones to work for is anything electronica. I love the music, but i absolutely hate the crowd.

When it comes to hiking I really don't like it unless I am the only one hiking. But even that gets old when you can't seem to get any peace.

When it comes to creating anything anymore I don't. I remember the last thing I was working on was a level for the THPSX community. I was about 30% done with my idea when it just smacked me in the face... Who would enjoy it? The game is long forgotten. When it comes to music I stopped making any. When it comes to creating anything? The only thing I have completed was my computer build. Other than that it is my store I work for.

I own a motorcycle but I always ride alone. Riding with other people seems to mess everything up. Throws me into a funk. I can't do it.

Then when it comes to finding a new "hobby" I immediately begin to think about this hobby to all of its extent and most of the time I just think it all the way through.

When it comes to people? Psh. I have given up on them. That is why I just continue to work at my shop.

a reply to: ttobban

The only problem I have is the boundaries that are in place.

And these boundaries do not just include what I can do, but also on what others approve of.

Right now there is a balance that I am able to keep up. It teeters to one end or another every so often but it has yet to topple. For some I toppled them over. But they were on the edge already. The others seem to be more centered except for two. Everything was fine two weeks ago even though I pulled an 18 hour shift because I had to. I didn't want to let my team down that hard. hell no. But in the end I am still learning. Now my days off have changed and my boss... pissed me off the other day but I don't hate him. I just have to respect his ideas and see what he is trying to show me.

But eventually I will have it locked down. I think the reason why the previous manager quit was for the age old "It must be greener on the other side."

I have seen too many people go down that path where they have like... maybe a few months where everything seems to be going up. But then they hit a gigantic brick wall, or fall into a gigantic slump and are suddenly more depressed than I am. I see it all of the time. Funny thing is I started placing bets on how long it would take some people to come back and at least talk to me. I haven't won a single bet, but the results are more shocking than I wanted them to be. I still have 1 bet on one guy... Magic Mike. My bet is 6 years before he returns. And if he comes back earlier than that? well #... then I think it may be worse than I originally thought.

a reply to: Rikku

Um... I do not extort, I am fair. I am not neighborly, but I am not obnoxious. I do not destroy, but I no longer have a passion to create. One other attribute about myself is that I am a Lannister. Why try to pin me down as a degenerate when I have no interest in anarchy?

hikikomori: is a psychological condition which makes people shut themselves off from society, often staying in their houses for months on end.

I did not now ME TOO!!!!