Have we failed as parents? Why are all these girls getting raped?

I have taught my daughter how to be on the lookout for trouble.
Keep her head on a swivel.

She is also a manager for the high school wrestling team and she works out with them and practices the moves.
A strong girl to say the least.

I told her that the things she's learning in wrestling would help her protect herself.....
Unless a wrestler is doing the assaulting.....lol

I'd say something isn't being taught to our sons either, or at least weren't taught in years past.

but, well, here's a true story...
the areas I grew up with had a cow pasture with a pond that was past that, a creek streamed though and fed that pond, a dirt road was on one side of the creek, on the other side was small wooded hill. my older brother and some of his friends would fish in the pond and hunt in those woods. my and my friends, from the time we were little kids, would go to the creek and catch the polywogs and play on the hill.. well, when I grew older, there was two places I would venture off to for solitude, one was the small group of trees that were in my own back yard, I would climb up in the and get lost for awhile. the other was that creek. my mom already told me that she didn't want my in the back yard, too close to the tracks (although the was a pretty steep hill down to those tracks) and hobos on those trains...
I ignored her on that one... it was my own yard. so one day I had retreated into the woods beyond the creek and was just sitting under a tree reading a book and enjoying the songs of the birds, the rumbling of the creeks when my brother's friend happened to run across me, gun in hand. I knew who he was, knew he was one of my brother's friends, didn't think nothing of it when he sat down by me and asked me some questions about my brother and what he was up to. but then his hands got a little wandering and well, i bolted from him.. I didn't say nothing to my brother, and certainly not to my mom.. but, guess his friend told him about what happened because wam bam, thank you mam, the next day my mom is giving me the bit about not being in those woods... that I had heard plenty of times before, that I would ignore this time.
I don't know if by brother's friend ever ran across me again in those woods, but well, if he did, he probably noticed the tree branch that I always made sure accompanied me when there.
that was my mom's answer to the problem, just adapt your behavior, don't go to those places, stay safely close to home....
the world is full of monsters I guess...
even in my own backyard!!!
it's kind of like the islamics telling their women to cover themselves from head to toe for their own protection. just how far should women adapt before we start expecting men to adjust enough so that we can feel safe in our own houses, neighborhoods, workplaces, schools, parties, ect?

originally posted by: Wayfarer
Its not the criminal rapists that are the problem, its just that girls are willfully letting themselves be taken advantage of and raped because they're just not trying hard enough to defend themselves against their would be assailants. /rolleyes

You have to start somewhere though. Until we evolve a little more as a society there will always be criminals and rapists out there.

a reply to: Wayfarer

And what about hookup culture?

You can't address the rape problem without thinking about what hookup culture and its promotion is doing to promote that.

I'm all for self defense learning (in fact I teach the self defense classes at the martial arts studio where I work). I just wanted people to acknowledge the fact that teaching girls self defense in the vacuum of a situation where we claim its the only way to keep them from being raped is disingenuous.

I believe as several of you just mentioned that we do in fact need to simultaneously attack the social norms/constructs in society that give rise to these predators as one of the primary means of addressing the situation.

a reply to: JAGStorm

Of course there have been generations of failed parents. Our young men arent being taught to respect young women. Meanwhile, our young women are stuck in this "always the victim" mentality because of it...

You can't blame this on any one group or gender. It's a complex societal issue that stems from multiple sources.



A2D

originally posted by: Wayfarer
I'm all for self defense learning (in fact I teach the self defense classes at the martial arts studio where I work). I just wanted people to acknowledge the fact that teaching girls self defense in the vacuum of a situation where we claim its the only way to keep them from being raped is disingenuous.

I believe as several of you just mentioned that we do in fact need to simultaneously attack the social norms/constructs in society that give rise to these predators as one of the primary means of addressing the situation.

My thoughts on this are that self defense training is the quickest solution. I can teach you several good self defense techniques and some tips on half and hour. But attacking the maladjusted boys can't be taught in that same time period.

I'm a big believer, that martial arts training does teach bully's and predators how to get rid of all of that anger and stress and depression and hatred that can lead to assaults.

Martial arts classes for everyone!

What is the problem? The problem is the concept that parties are normal, safe activities. What else is going to happen when a bunch of young people get together and get drunk and stoned in an atmosphere of "whatever man!"?

I'm not necessarily blaming victims but what is a party? What is the purpose? What is a young man thinking about when he goes to a party?

My daughter just turned 18.
Growing up, I taught her to never accept a drink from anyone she didn't know well or had opened herself. I taught her self defense and some seriously nasty moves with everyday objects. Some that were lethal, to be used only if needed and others that would quickly cripple or severely incapacitate. I also taught her that TEETH are a weapon. If it's put in your face and you don't want it there, BITE. IT OFF.
Nose, ears, penis, whatever.
I raised a beautiful, demure, polite, intelligent young lady...that you Do Not want to f**k with.

originally posted by: DAVID64
My daughter just turned 18.
Growing up, I taught her to never accept a drink from anyone she didn't know well or had opened herself. I taught her self defense and some seriously nasty moves with everyday objects. Some that were lethal, to be used only if needed and others that would quickly cripple or severely incapacitate. I also taught her that TEETH are a weapon. If it's put in your face and you don't want it there, BITE. IT OFF.
Nose, ears, penis, whatever.
I raised a beautiful, demure, polite, intelligent young lady...that you Do Not want to f**k with.

If you really want to teach her something valuable, teach her not to drink and do drugs and not to hang around people who do. That will solve at least 50% of the problem right off the bat.

a reply to: JAGStorm

Something isn't being taught to our daughters, How to protect themselves.

And at the same time teach our sons that women do not owe them sex for ANY reason EVER.

originally posted by: Wayfarer
Lol, oh man for a second I thought this was a masterful troll but then I sadly realized you are serious, and now I'm sad.




I've got a REALLY crazy idea, maybe we should do something about all these boys/men and their raping, instead of, you know, train women to have to defend themselves constantly from these assaults.....

Agree 100%!

Let’s put a bit of spin on the OP.

Replace “daughters” with “terrorist victims”, and boys/men with “terrorists”.

Now for the hard part (for those who still think this kind of assault is “a female thing”);

Think about it.

originally posted by: scraedtosleep
a reply to: JAGStorm

Something isn't being taught to our daughters, How to protect themselves.

And at the same time teach our sons that women do not owe them sex for ANY reason EVER.

Ahem.

What do you think most decent parents teach their little boys?

"Hey son, it's a piece of @ss. Go use it if you can wrestle it down?"

Seriously.

originally posted by: AugustusMasonicus

originally posted by: notsure1
I think some boxing lessons or judo lessons would be alot more beneficial than learning how to square dance.

Are there really schools teaching square dancing?

When I was a kid we dedicated 2 weeks in gym class every year to square dancing.

But Im 46

you might also want to teach them that what they have printed in their yearbooks might come back to bite them 30 or so years later so maybe it's not wise to put some things in there?
it's funny, the conservatives are holding up her yearbook as it being a testament about her character, the liberals are holding up his for the same reason. ain't no one really questioning the people who should have been supervising these kids who should have had alarm bells ringing in their heads over what they were wanting to have in them. or the parental supervision they were given, especially if judge's books were truthful accounts and parents were coming home and finding their homes trashed with holes in ceilings that went up into the attics.

and who's to say that the girls protecting themselves wouldn't just escalate things? seriously? one of the reasons why rape victims don't fight back is because it tends to just lead to a more violent attack on them.

a reply to: Wayfarer

Ccw

originally posted by: Muninn


Why wouldn't you want a professional to teach the kids?

when did i say that?
read it again and maybe you will see but in case you did not

mandatory self defense training at the school by some 'instructor' once a week for an hour or whatever it is is not the instruction i want for her.

i dot need her to waste her time with some YMCA karate mcdojo black belt that is going to teach her bull#

i know what i want her to learn and i will decide who teaches her.

what even qualifies as a professional.

i wrestled all through highschool and have been in jiu jitsu in some form for 20 years.
i think i am qualified to teach my daughter what i want her to know.

originally posted by: notsure1


I think some boxing lessons or judo lessons would be alot more beneficial than learning how to square dance.

i think you should not worry about it.
hows that

i really do not feel like defending wrestling or jiu jitsu over your judo or boxing but....
i want her to be able to fight on the ground and off her back.

but as i said.
not for you to worry about but go ahead and make a #ty comment about me or whatever you want now.

im sure its coming.

a reply to: BrianFlanders

That's called "common sense " and since she was raised around me, she has plenty. Something many young people are sorely lacking.

originally posted by: JAGStorm

You're actually serious aren't you?

The need to rationalize for terrible behavior is so intense, it's the girls' fault that we did not train them well enough to ninja evade the advances of men, who are just being boys.

Because it cannot be the boys' fault... because Trump the Infallible.

Watching so many members fall into this trap. I know some are here just for propaganda and will disappear as they always do when the job is done. But some people really need to start digging out before it's too late. Wrong is wrong. Assault is the fault of the one who is assaulting. Rape is the fault of a rapist, not the skirt length or lack of martial arts training.

Enough excuses, direct or indirect.