The Banter Cafe, open 24hrs

a reply to: oldcarpy
Good idea, like the form to enter the US...they even have a question "Have you ever been involved in genocide?" as if anyone would tick the yes box lol

EDIT
I looked at that website and it's hilarious

a reply to: CornishCeltGuy


Another one for the form - I'd forgotten about ME - "Is your username "Pearj"!

a reply to: CornishCeltGuy


Do they?!!!!

It's very funny - I honestly thought it was real to start with. Unsaved trash.

a reply to: oldcarpy
Yes, and "Have you ever been a member of a terrorist organisation?" Again, I don't imagine many folk tick yes to that either.

...I bet some crazy folk believe that website is real lol

a reply to: CornishCeltGuy


I think they have a comments section, judging by the outrage yes people do believe its real. I can imagine some Americans reading it and nodding away in agreement.....

a reply to: CornishCeltGuy

Mandela effect folk are banned as well, how can they do banter with the memory of a goldfish?!

Too right.

I'm all for free speech but can we make it a no Trump, no Second Amendment and no left / right discussion zone unless its to ridicule and take the piss?

You'll be busy on the door what with hipsters as well,....

Nothing I can't manage.

..... is £15 an hour and a meal on duty okay?

Was going to say mates rates but I like it so much here I'll do it free of charge....just throw in the occasional Irish coffee to go with the scran.

a reply to: Freeborn
I was thinking the same about left/right rubbish as well, but pisstaking about it is okay.
Nice one with covering the door, and of course sly Irish coffees are obligatory for all staff in the cafe.

Now I'm going to click on a flat earth thread for a chuckle...

Freeborn & CornishCeltGuy

No left / right? How are we supposed to give directions to the poor hipsters looking for a frisson of quail eggs?

a reply to: Flavian
Pmsl!

a reply to: Flavian


That's easy - advise them to go to the nearest rail station and ask for tickets to Hoxton or, if driving their ridiculous SUV can use Satnav or they can use their stupid iphones or whatever which are bound to have a app.

a reply to: oldcarpy
I just watched this totally not fake educational documentary about US hipsters which you might find interesting...

One for the Juke Box?

a reply to: CornishCeltGuy


Ha! Ha! Can just imagine David Attenborough doing a documentary on hipsters. A Google on "Hipster Twats" is fun, too.

a reply to: oldcarpy
That was funny man!
I'm still tempted to get a separate serving hatch in the outside wall for takeaway hipster coffees at a fiver a go though.
There is a market there and have normal prices inside the cafe at the same time.
EDIT
They'll love the irony of the more expensive outside experience or something like that.

a reply to: CornishCeltGuy


You could spread the word that you have opened a "Pop Up" Café?

I'm off home, have a good weekend.

Loving the hipster stuff, keep it up guys.

Got to have a drive down to Northallerton to see someone then going out for a couple of sociables when I get back - determined to be in before 1.30 tonight!

a reply to: oldcarpy
Pop up cafe lmao, like 'wild swimming' #ing ridiculous term, it's called swimming. Have a good weekend see you Monday when you're bored at work haha.

@freeborn
Good luck being a well behaved early bird

originally posted by: oldcarpy
a reply to: Flavian


That's easy - advise them to go to the nearest rail station and ask for tickets to Hoxton or, if driving their ridiculous SUV can use Satnav or they can use their stupid iphones or whatever which are bound to have a app.

Ah, well done sir. I'd completely forgotten about Twat-Nav for the hipster market.

a reply to: Flavian
On a kind of related tech note I've only given directions to tourists this summer to German people.
All looking puzzled at their paper map because the landscape makes it tricky to interpret without contour lines.
...I thought German folk were tech pioneers?!

a reply to: CornishCeltGuy

Tourists bring money, always give them good directions. Germans do speak a little English generally speaking. Teach them what a real proper sausage is!

ETA Bratwurst sucks.