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My Child Was Recently Kidnapped and Assaulted.
page: 1share:
I AM ANGRY and FULL OF RAGE!! I am heartbroken......
Last week, my minor aged daughter was the victim to an online predator from out of state, who flew into my state and kidnapped and sexually assaulted her. The perpetrator was more than twice her age! He is a sick, twisted pedophile predator who groomed my child for nearly a year before his attack. FORTUNATELY, he was not very smart because he left a large paper trail with photographic evidence. Within 5 days he was captured out of state and is now in custody. THANK GOD!!!!!
I am posting today for two reasons.....One, I need to vent before I go insane. Two, people need to be reminded how easily it can happen.
The internet it not a safe place. Even here on ATS, I am guessing this place is crawling with pedophiles and rapists; lurkers......
As much as I want to add a dozen links, I am too scatter brained to organize a list. Although I have tabs upon tabs open on what I can do to educate myself and how to help my child.
I have been up and down in my mind thinking about what I could have done to prevent this horror that is now my life. I have blamed myself although I know its not my fault. Is it my daughters fault? A part of me wants to place the blame on her for being stupid and not heeding my warnings over the years, but in reality, SHE IS A VICTIM!!!! This man who took her is rotten to the core. Not only did he stalk her, but he also stalked me for 5 months....I blew him off thinking he was harmless, and that is the part in which I am not sure I can forgive myself...ONLY IF....I tell myself....hindsight
PARENTS!!!
PLEASE DO MORE THAN EDUCATE YOUR KIDS!!!!! They do not think this can happen to them!! They really dont!!!!!!!
PAY ATTENTION TO EVERYTHING THEY DO ON INSTAGRAM, SNAP CHAT AND FACEBOOK!!!! BETTER YET, DO NOT ALLOW IT
Statistics show this is a pedophile and predators wet dream! IT IS AN EPIDEMIC!!!!!!
The worst part of all of this.......our wounds I fear may not heal for a very long time
victimsofcrime.org...
#metoo
Last week, my minor aged daughter was the victim to an online predator from out of state, who flew into my state and kidnapped and sexually assaulted her. The perpetrator was more than twice her age! He is a sick, twisted pedophile predator who groomed my child for nearly a year before his attack. FORTUNATELY, he was not very smart because he left a large paper trail with photographic evidence. Within 5 days he was captured out of state and is now in custody. THANK GOD!!!!!
I am posting today for two reasons.....One, I need to vent before I go insane. Two, people need to be reminded how easily it can happen.
The internet it not a safe place. Even here on ATS, I am guessing this place is crawling with pedophiles and rapists; lurkers......
As much as I want to add a dozen links, I am too scatter brained to organize a list. Although I have tabs upon tabs open on what I can do to educate myself and how to help my child.
I have been up and down in my mind thinking about what I could have done to prevent this horror that is now my life. I have blamed myself although I know its not my fault. Is it my daughters fault? A part of me wants to place the blame on her for being stupid and not heeding my warnings over the years, but in reality, SHE IS A VICTIM!!!! This man who took her is rotten to the core. Not only did he stalk her, but he also stalked me for 5 months....I blew him off thinking he was harmless, and that is the part in which I am not sure I can forgive myself...ONLY IF....I tell myself....hindsight
PARENTS!!!
PLEASE DO MORE THAN EDUCATE YOUR KIDS!!!!! They do not think this can happen to them!! They really dont!!!!!!!
PAY ATTENTION TO EVERYTHING THEY DO ON INSTAGRAM, SNAP CHAT AND FACEBOOK!!!! BETTER YET, DO NOT ALLOW IT
Statistics show this is a pedophile and predators wet dream! IT IS AN EPIDEMIC!!!!!!
The worst part of all of this.......our wounds I fear may not heal for a very long time
victimsofcrime.org...
#metoo
edit on 14-3-2018 by Mobius8 because: (no reason given)
edit on 14-3-2018 by Mobius8 because: (no reason
given)
edit on 14-3-2018 by Mobius8 because: (no reason given)
a reply to: Mobius8
I am truly sorry. You are living one of every parent's nightmares.
I have really no words but will offer this. You may not be able to help your daughter or yourself at the moment. You are full on in the moment and although you are studying you may not be able to interpret the information and apply it properly. I am afraid that HER wounds may never heal and perhaps the best action is to seek some professional help, someone distanced from the situation, to at least guide you through the initial phases.
Most importantly hug your daughter tightly and be thankful she was brought home to you alive and don't be so hard on yourself.
Good luck to you both!
I am truly sorry. You are living one of every parent's nightmares.
I have really no words but will offer this. You may not be able to help your daughter or yourself at the moment. You are full on in the moment and although you are studying you may not be able to interpret the information and apply it properly. I am afraid that HER wounds may never heal and perhaps the best action is to seek some professional help, someone distanced from the situation, to at least guide you through the initial phases.
Most importantly hug your daughter tightly and be thankful she was brought home to you alive and don't be so hard on yourself.
Good luck to you both!
a reply to: TNMockingbird
Thank you.
Yes we have a trauma counselor already.
The special investigators and forensic team really drilled it into our heads how lucky she is to be alive
Thank you.
Yes we have a trauma counselor already.
The special investigators and forensic team really drilled it into our heads how lucky she is to be alive
a reply to: Mobius8
Minors should never have unmonitored access to the Internet. You have every legal right to monitor your child with or without their knowledge.
That is true, neither is the real world. I would suggest conducting a real threat assessment, and obtaining enough firepower to prevail in almost any scenario against ANY adversary that takes place in the physical world. Then, acquire network security appliances (IDS or firewall) and start watching ALL network traffic, content inspection as well. Certain software can even notify you if certain content or even specific words/phrases are used.
Finally, you can acquire 3G GPS trackers on the Internet (they aren't very expensive) to embed in the protectee's personal items, in order to keep their location protected. This could be a long range drone with a camera, hanging back in your car or hiring a private security detail for your child.
Security isn't cheap. But the only way to ensure these types of exploitative incidents never happen is to go all-in security wise. You have the legal right and responsibility to keep your children safe, including using any legal means at your disposal.
As others have said, Hell is real. Although, assuming she was under the age of consent (you never gave her age), I'd fully expect the legal system to provide a fitting punishment (or pseudo-fitting - we all know castration would be optimum). Although once again, LE and courts will rarely actually prevent or stop a crime. That is on you and each of us
Just remember. You didn't fail anyone. The criminal abuser is 100% responsible for their crime.
What this creep really deserves is a lead slug between the eyes. Anybody who exploits or takes advantage of a child deserves the same. But with a severe enough crime (supported by strong evidence), the courts can effectively impose a death sentence (of life long incarceration). The best thing would be living out a full life knowing he's living a 9'X10' miserable existence in the Penitentiary. For what it is worth, in my experience, those with sexual offenses against children tend to get the living snot pounded out of them behind bars by the other inmates. Daily. Constantly. Worse than any black site torture program I've ever heard of.
I have been up and down in my mind thinking about what I could have done to prevent this horror that is now my life.
Minors should never have unmonitored access to the Internet. You have every legal right to monitor your child with or without their knowledge.
The internet it not a safe place
That is true, neither is the real world. I would suggest conducting a real threat assessment, and obtaining enough firepower to prevail in almost any scenario against ANY adversary that takes place in the physical world. Then, acquire network security appliances (IDS or firewall) and start watching ALL network traffic, content inspection as well. Certain software can even notify you if certain content or even specific words/phrases are used.
Finally, you can acquire 3G GPS trackers on the Internet (they aren't very expensive) to embed in the protectee's personal items, in order to keep their location protected. This could be a long range drone with a camera, hanging back in your car or hiring a private security detail for your child.
Security isn't cheap. But the only way to ensure these types of exploitative incidents never happen is to go all-in security wise. You have the legal right and responsibility to keep your children safe, including using any legal means at your disposal.
As others have said, Hell is real. Although, assuming she was under the age of consent (you never gave her age), I'd fully expect the legal system to provide a fitting punishment (or pseudo-fitting - we all know castration would be optimum). Although once again, LE and courts will rarely actually prevent or stop a crime. That is on you and each of us
Just remember. You didn't fail anyone. The criminal abuser is 100% responsible for their crime.
What this creep really deserves is a lead slug between the eyes. Anybody who exploits or takes advantage of a child deserves the same. But with a severe enough crime (supported by strong evidence), the courts can effectively impose a death sentence (of life long incarceration). The best thing would be living out a full life knowing he's living a 9'X10' miserable existence in the Penitentiary. For what it is worth, in my experience, those with sexual offenses against children tend to get the living snot pounded out of them behind bars by the other inmates. Daily. Constantly. Worse than any black site torture program I've ever heard of.
edit on 3/14/2018 by JBurns because: (no reason given)
I'm appalled and sickened by this, I dont know you, or any of you, but I come here everyday and I wish the best for everyone, especially your family.
a reply to: Mobius8
Like one member posted earlier,she is still alive and you have
her back,many children don't come back at all.
Your family can work this out and over time you all will heal
from this.It is best to get these feelings out and dealing with
them before that creep goes to court.You have to keep your
cool as much as you can.Vent here as much as you want we
will listen and give as much support as we can.
Like one member posted earlier,she is still alive and you have
her back,many children don't come back at all.
Your family can work this out and over time you all will heal
from this.It is best to get these feelings out and dealing with
them before that creep goes to court.You have to keep your
cool as much as you can.Vent here as much as you want we
will listen and give as much support as we can.
a reply to: Mobius8
Don't take this the wrong way, I have a teenage daughter myself and share your fears.
But in society today young girls just don't have the value they once did.
See Roman Polanski for instance.
People defend him for sexing up a 13 yr old.
Willing participant.
Yeah right.
Young girls have been sexualized in the name of feminism. They are suffering the consequences today.
A woman's virginity is no longer a thing to cherish and for her to give to the right person.
No I'm not saying she must wait till marriage, I'm not that old fashioned, but it should be given to someone they love. Someone that respects them.
This doesn't really apply to your daughter as this sounds like she was taken advantage of by a predator. But society's view on women might have helped him find a victim.
Personally I would eliminate the need for a trial.
Again don't take this as criticism, she was a victim, plain and simple.
Best wishes to you for dealing with this situation.
Don't take this the wrong way, I have a teenage daughter myself and share your fears.
But in society today young girls just don't have the value they once did.
See Roman Polanski for instance.
People defend him for sexing up a 13 yr old.
Willing participant.
Yeah right.
Young girls have been sexualized in the name of feminism. They are suffering the consequences today.
A woman's virginity is no longer a thing to cherish and for her to give to the right person.
No I'm not saying she must wait till marriage, I'm not that old fashioned, but it should be given to someone they love. Someone that respects them.
This doesn't really apply to your daughter as this sounds like she was taken advantage of by a predator. But society's view on women might have helped him find a victim.
Personally I would eliminate the need for a trial.
Again don't take this as criticism, she was a victim, plain and simple.
Best wishes to you for dealing with this situation.
a reply to: Mobius8
I am so very sorry to hear of the trauma that your daughter experienced, and of the harm that has been done to your family through that trauma.
I know that healing, if any can be attained over time, will be a lengthy process for your daughter and yourself. But it will not be made any easier by even figuring her actions in working out how and who to blame. It has no value, aside from that blame you attach to the actual perpetrator. Concentrate on loving one another, on regaining strength. There is more than enough work to do now, so adding carrying other unnecessary burdens, like misplaced blame, will aid you not one bit.
Once again, my sincerest sympathies.
I am so very sorry to hear of the trauma that your daughter experienced, and of the harm that has been done to your family through that trauma.
I know that healing, if any can be attained over time, will be a lengthy process for your daughter and yourself. But it will not be made any easier by even figuring her actions in working out how and who to blame. It has no value, aside from that blame you attach to the actual perpetrator. Concentrate on loving one another, on regaining strength. There is more than enough work to do now, so adding carrying other unnecessary burdens, like misplaced blame, will aid you not one bit.
Once again, my sincerest sympathies.
a reply to: Mobius8
It's not your fault or your daughter's fault. # that piece of #. Im glad they caught him. I can't #ing stand pedophiles and rapists. Try and make sure your daughter knows and understands it's not her fault. It's hard to know who in the world to trust. There's a lot of monsters that take advantage of people who trust them. Aw man #. I hope you guys can be alright eventually.
It's not your fault or your daughter's fault. # that piece of #. Im glad they caught him. I can't #ing stand pedophiles and rapists. Try and make sure your daughter knows and understands it's not her fault. It's hard to know who in the world to trust. There's a lot of monsters that take advantage of people who trust them. Aw man #. I hope you guys can be alright eventually.
a reply to: Mobius8
I'm really sorry for what happened to your daughter (and now for the guilt that you feel).
I have a 4-year-old daughter, and don't think that the possibility of all this stuff happening to her when I see it reported doesn't flood my mind. I don't know where the line is anymore concerning being an over-protective parent and not doing enough, because each situation differs.
All that I can do is offer this reality: Culpability lies only with this pedophile, and there is no way that you nor your daughter could foresee the future. Certainly, there may have been signs missed, or whatever, but if you torture yourself with those thoughts they will eat you up inside, and that's not healthy.
But you can continue loving your daughter with all that you have--she will need that. I can't imagine what either of you are going through, and I'm terribly sorry for what has happened. But again, and I know it's hard not to (it would be hard for me, for sure): Do not blame yourself, and do not allow your daughter to blame herself. No one can ever protect themselves from all sick individuals out there.
Since he's been thankfully caught, you should look into that bikers group who helps victims of pedophiles and sexual assault--from what I've seen, they will show up in court to give that safety-in-numbers feel to the victim, and also if the judge allows it, will form a human wall between the victim and the pedophile so that they don't have to make eye contact while testifying. They seem like a great group of people.
Bikers Against Child Abuse
Again...very sorry that this has happened. I would be an emotional wreck on behalf of my daughter, and I'm close to being there on behalf of yours. I wish you both the best, and spend your time being thankful that she is still with you, as things could have turned out very differently.
ETA: Please consider getting your daughter into some REAL self-defense classes, and making it a long-term investment (there's no other way to make self-defense effective other than repetition and time). As an apprentice instructor and practitioner of Krav Maga, I would recommend that system or one similar...only real-world stuff, nothing designed around a point system or competitions. This will be a very empowering thing for her once she is ready.
I'm really sorry for what happened to your daughter (and now for the guilt that you feel).
I have a 4-year-old daughter, and don't think that the possibility of all this stuff happening to her when I see it reported doesn't flood my mind. I don't know where the line is anymore concerning being an over-protective parent and not doing enough, because each situation differs.
All that I can do is offer this reality: Culpability lies only with this pedophile, and there is no way that you nor your daughter could foresee the future. Certainly, there may have been signs missed, or whatever, but if you torture yourself with those thoughts they will eat you up inside, and that's not healthy.
But you can continue loving your daughter with all that you have--she will need that. I can't imagine what either of you are going through, and I'm terribly sorry for what has happened. But again, and I know it's hard not to (it would be hard for me, for sure): Do not blame yourself, and do not allow your daughter to blame herself. No one can ever protect themselves from all sick individuals out there.
Since he's been thankfully caught, you should look into that bikers group who helps victims of pedophiles and sexual assault--from what I've seen, they will show up in court to give that safety-in-numbers feel to the victim, and also if the judge allows it, will form a human wall between the victim and the pedophile so that they don't have to make eye contact while testifying. They seem like a great group of people.
Bikers Against Child Abuse
Again...very sorry that this has happened. I would be an emotional wreck on behalf of my daughter, and I'm close to being there on behalf of yours. I wish you both the best, and spend your time being thankful that she is still with you, as things could have turned out very differently.
ETA: Please consider getting your daughter into some REAL self-defense classes, and making it a long-term investment (there's no other way to make self-defense effective other than repetition and time). As an apprentice instructor and practitioner of Krav Maga, I would recommend that system or one similar...only real-world stuff, nothing designed around a point system or competitions. This will be a very empowering thing for her once she is ready.
edit on 14-3-2018 by SlapMonkey because: (no reason given)
a reply to: Mobius8
That is just awful. I can't imagine the nightmare that would be.
Coincidentally, just before seeing your thread, I read about a similar case that just happened in Virginia:
Poli ce: Woodbridge man charged with rape after encounter with 12-year-old he met on Instagram
Animals.
I hope you and your daughter find some way to heal. My heart goes out to you.
That is just awful. I can't imagine the nightmare that would be.
Coincidentally, just before seeing your thread, I read about a similar case that just happened in Virginia:
Poli ce: Woodbridge man charged with rape after encounter with 12-year-old he met on Instagram
Animals.
I hope you and your daughter find some way to heal. My heart goes out to you.
a reply to: Mobius8
I am so sorry this happened to your family.
I hope that creep get triple what he deserves, and if there is any silver lining hopefully this will permanently prevent him from doing this again!
As parents we torture ourselves thinking we could have done more, but as I've grown older I've realized sometimes there isn't more, we can only do the best we can. It doesn't feel like enough, but does it ever? One of my kids fell in with a bad bad crowd, he knew better, yet he still fell for it. He has paid the price and will deal the the consequences of that time for a very long time. Although the scar remains, healing is there too, as I am sure will be the case for your daughter.
I am so sorry this happened to your family.
I hope that creep get triple what he deserves, and if there is any silver lining hopefully this will permanently prevent him from doing this again!
As parents we torture ourselves thinking we could have done more, but as I've grown older I've realized sometimes there isn't more, we can only do the best we can. It doesn't feel like enough, but does it ever? One of my kids fell in with a bad bad crowd, he knew better, yet he still fell for it. He has paid the price and will deal the the consequences of that time for a very long time. Although the scar remains, healing is there too, as I am sure will be the case for your daughter.
a reply to: Mobius8
I am so sorry for the both of you.... and she needs your comfort and to know
it was not her fault, fortunately she is safe and will not be so trusting in the
future.
I know the youngsters want, no demand their privacy but as a parent one needs
to be one step ahead of them, and set rules. My daughter never let her two have
their computers in their rooms, as when they have them on (even without being
monitered over their shoulders ) they are more careful with company around
about what is on their screens. She also monitered their history for anything which
might look suspicious, inspite of the flack she got from her friends saying they
wouldn't do that with their own children, it being an invasion of their privacy!!
Anyway I'm glad she is safe now.... give her plenty of TLC she needs it.
I am so sorry for the both of you.... and she needs your comfort and to know
it was not her fault, fortunately she is safe and will not be so trusting in the
future.
I know the youngsters want, no demand their privacy but as a parent one needs
to be one step ahead of them, and set rules. My daughter never let her two have
their computers in their rooms, as when they have them on (even without being
monitered over their shoulders ) they are more careful with company around
about what is on their screens. She also monitered their history for anything which
might look suspicious, inspite of the flack she got from her friends saying they
wouldn't do that with their own children, it being an invasion of their privacy!!
Anyway I'm glad she is safe now.... give her plenty of TLC she needs it.
My heart is broken for you and your girl. This is one of my most feared nightmares. For educational purposes, I am just curious how the psycho found
out her address?
What a terrible thing to happen I am so sorry to hear about it.
Stay strong for you and your daughters sake. Please if you, your daughter or any family member are having trouble dealing with this obviously traumatizing event please seek some form of professonal counseling it can work wonders.
It's hard to talk about this subject matter even with loved ones But you have to get it out and vent just as your doing now.
Stay safe friend.
a reply to: Mobius8
Stay strong for you and your daughters sake. Please if you, your daughter or any family member are having trouble dealing with this obviously traumatizing event please seek some form of professonal counseling it can work wonders.
It's hard to talk about this subject matter even with loved ones But you have to get it out and vent just as your doing now.
Stay safe friend.
a reply to: Mobius8
edit on 14-3-2018 by Athetos because: Spelling
a reply to: muzzleflash
My daughter was always very mature for her age, but around your daughters age we started watching investigation discovery and other shows like that, some have very mature scary content. It really opened her eyes up to some of the predators out there and the tactics they used, and then we were able to talk about it. I think 13 is a great age to really be honest about some of the monsters out there and what everyone can do to stay safe and what to look out for.
at 19 I was almost abducted (i'm pretty small in stature so they probably thought I was much younger) it changed forever how I raised my kids, and I truly believe there are a lot more predators looking to do evil things if given the opportunity.
My daughter was always very mature for her age, but around your daughters age we started watching investigation discovery and other shows like that, some have very mature scary content. It really opened her eyes up to some of the predators out there and the tactics they used, and then we were able to talk about it. I think 13 is a great age to really be honest about some of the monsters out there and what everyone can do to stay safe and what to look out for.
at 19 I was almost abducted (i'm pretty small in stature so they probably thought I was much younger) it changed forever how I raised my kids, and I truly believe there are a lot more predators looking to do evil things if given the opportunity.
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