Coming to terms with the way people treat me

People will do ANYTHING to bring you down when they learn that you have accumulated peace through righteous deeds. These people are jealous because they do not understand that peace of mind comes from righteous deeds and thoughts and they do not have peace because their minds and actions are filled with filth and unrighteousness. So the people like me are the targets. A battle, of good and evil - without the evil person knowing exactly what they are even doing - they are just pushed to those extremes because of the animosity and bad emotions overflowing within them. So they pick their victim based upon those standards and start to work, disrespecting them as much as the opportunity allows them. Sometimes these people are strangers so they are limited to what they can do to bring somebody down - but people will do anything they possibly can, and say anything they possibly can - to show you disrespect, to show you that they do not care about your feelings, to show you that they hate you as a person (because you have peace of mind) and they will say anything they can to hurt your feelings. They act in whatever way thought as a means to control your emotions - so if they think you desire a certain thing, they will make sure that thing is not given to you, whether it be attention or a smile or kind words. God hates these people because they care nothing about the Law. I have been tormented by these people because my mom is the only person in life who cares anything about me, everyone else I meet has done this to me eventually. I have resorted to opium because it is the only way I can feel anything good, the world has embraced all of the hatred it has and directed it all to me, while I do not deserve any of it. It is all because of unrighteousness, it all is unfair, rooted in envy and hatred. I want to die. I want to be loved by God, in a world of injustice and hate. I want to leave the world and the 1,000s of people who have hurt me, I want to leave the 1,000s of people that judge me wrongly, I want to leave all of them that accuse me of things that are not true, I want to leave the world of everybody that attacks me with their envy after they have figured out that God gives me peace because I deserve it from following the Law. I want to give up this life, on planet earth, because everywhere I go - be it at work, be it at home, or be it at a clinic searching for help - everywhere, I encounter strangers who take all these steps out of their way just to attempt to void me of peace and happiness, and to fill me with pain, dread, and anxiety. The only way for me to live in this world without being attacked is to find a place far away from any people, and I do not have the financial means to do that, but it is the only reason for my life - to try and make enough money to move away from people and live alone with no spouse and no family. Love doesn't happen in this world to the poor. Doesn't matter how attractive I am. If a woman makes money she will only date a man who makes as much or more than her, whether he is ugly or not. I hate my own species, based on what I have learned from my own species. I am nothing like the world. I am human yes, but I am not part of this society in any way. People do not earn my respect, I give respect to everyone. People do not earn my love. but I have been hurt for all of my years here. And no longer can I take the pain. My neighbor doesn't like me because I am emotional - but he has had an easy life. He does not understand living on the streets or being abandoned by your family, but he dislikes me because he doesn't comprehend how life can make a person sensitive. He doesn't care about what conditions I have faced to bring my being to this point. People see homeless sleeping in urine and they have no sympathy for what brought that person to that point either. Just because nobody I encounter has one single bit of love in them, and just because it is popular in the business world for executives to be Satanists, does not mean that I have come to believe that God does not love me. Therefore, I want to go back to God. I don't care if nobody loves me and I am alone on earth, this is temporary, I want to go back to God to feel loved and I don't need any human to love me.

a reply to: AlienVessel

Maybe if you learn to use paragraphs they might treat you mo betta?

If people treat you badly for no reason,chances are they are just being jackasses,don't waste time worrying about it.Be secure in whom You are and concentrate on what makes you happy.Let the negative surly ones be that way.Sometimes people have unhappiness in their own lives,and misery loves company.There's not much you can do except be responsible for your own life and happiness,or at least contentment in life.Things could always be worse.

You lost me at "I have resorted to opium..."

Really? You're blaming your use of mind altering chemicals on how people treat you? Grow a pair! This alone tells enough about you to nullify everything you wrote. You're a junkie. You have no self-respect, why would you expect anyone else to respect you?

:

a reply to: AlienVessel



Relax to the soothing baritone voice of Eddie Vedder my friend.



edit: 1000th post, w'hey!

a reply to: AlienVessel

Just glancing over your post, I can assure you that not every person is out to get you...I can promise you that.

Perhaps you have your own demons making you think and feel as if everyone is trying to bring you down.
Asides to boost ones self esteem, I see zero reason that every stranger or person you interact with,
would make the effort to degrade you.
Maybe its just me. But i couldnt justify taking time out of my life, to try to make yours a living hell.

I just dont see it.
Same with when people claim they are being gang stalked.

I can say with 99% certainty that there is no big orchestration taking place behind your back, that would motivate complete strangers to disrupt their own lives, to make sure you are being watched every time you leave the house.

I and most sounded minded individuals (This is NOT an attack on you, just stating the obvious) would say that this state of mind comes down to mental illness.
I have witnessed it first hand in my wife.
Anxiety does some extreme taxing on ones mind.

I wholeheartedly advise you to seek a Professional Psychotherapist and discuss how your feeling.

Keep an open mind, because im positive you will think this person is talking down to you or suddenly out to get you.

But its their profession to diagnose and assist people and this is done by probing questions at first.
You dont go to school for as long as they do if you do not have a passion for helping people.

Its going to be hard to re-learn everything you think are, but Cognitive behavioral therapy will help you.

a reply to: incoserv

or maybe get a job?

you know then OP could have some agency instead of feeling at the mercy of others.

This world is what you make of it.

a reply to: AlienVessel

Take a deep breathe.

It sounds like you are too busy worrying about what others think about you and you seem to be allowing that to have power over you.
You also seem to be thinking too much about other people and what they do?

Don't,they don't think often enough for that to be a concern to you.

The only thing you need to worry about is if you are happy with what you see in the mirror every morning.
If you're not happy with what you see....you can change it anytime!!

If you are too busy letting others and the world get to you....you won't have any time to be happy and live YOUR life.

Take it or leave it.
Good luck...take a deep breathe and go do something that makes you happy for a few hours.

a reply to: AlienVessel

Also, I can tell you how to feel till im blue in the face.
But you and yourself alone dictate how you feel.

If your a worrier and have high anxiety and think the world is out to get you, your going to be on edge day in day out.

But think of the big picture. On the grand scale of things on this earth,
you are but a spec of dust floating in an ocean.

To have some robust scheme of 1000's of people to direct their entire efforts on just one person, you...to make you feel isolated and alone...its not feasible.

You have the power every single day of your life at any point in any of your days to say,
Im going to be happy today.

Learn to appreciate the little things and you will begin to realize how beautiful life really is.
You set the attitude of how your day is going to evolve, from the moment you wake up.

My wife turned to opiates as well when she was in your situation. So i completely understand every single sentence you wrote.

It took a while, but I eventually made her realize that no one is trying to hurt her or is out to get her.
She seen a therapist for 6 weeks and guess what?

She's 100% back to the happy woman I married.
She had to realize she was being her own worst enemy and that her own actions were the ones keeping her down.

PM me if you want to talk more.

originally posted by: Lysergic
a reply to: AlienVessel

Maybe if you learn to use paragraphs they might treat you mo betta?

You are CERTAINLY 1 of those people. I want to leave this planet because of you.

a reply to: Lysergic

I want to leave you, and be as far away from your existence as possible. Because it kills you to be nice to anyone. I will just be so much better when you are in hell or somewhere FAR FAR Away from me.

a reply to: AlienVessel

Is it at all possible, that the effects of the chemicals to which you say you have retreated, have caused your assessment of the behaviour of others, to warp and change, beyond your ability to rely upon them adequately? Is it possible that something you were using before, added to your low self opinion, caused a pre-existing persecution complex to become ever more present in the forefront of your mind?

Is it at all possible, AlienVessel, that you were suffering from a malady BEFORE your escape into chemical oblivion, and are now suffering a catastrophe instead of a mere problem, as a result of adding unhelpful combinations of chemicals into your brain matter, likely as a result of poor choices from a psychomedical point of view? I am not saying that all off the books substances are generally bad, it would be hypocritical of me to suggest any such thing. But what I am saying is, that unless you are a very particular sort of person, with a very particular list of skills, interests and learning associated therewith, it is not at all common for a person who does not possess a degree in the medical field, to be capable of correctly assessing what might best effect a troubled mind. The "fling it at the wall and see what sticks" approach is far more common, and I suggest that on balance, it is likely the approach you utilised in finding a source of chemical calm, to ease the crashing waves in your headspace.

I posit that the choice you made was not made in a frame of mind which lends itself to informed decision making. I posit that your issue started not as a result of the treatment of others toward yourself, but that the more concerning issue you have started when you made poor medical decisions for yourself and your mental health, and are now being flushed down a psychological toilet you pulled the handle of yourself.

I further posit that getting clean and off the dirt you have imbued yourself with, then seeking qualified assistance if you can, would be a far better approach, one far more conducive to affecting positive change in your life, than taking the route which has killed so many bright and wonderful people, yet still appears as valid to those of unsound thinking.

I hope you find resolution to your problem, and that any peace you find comes not at the tip of the needle, or with the repose one finds in the grave, but from a positive change in your life and habits, motivated by your own determination not to be defeated by your own misgivings.

a reply to: AlienVessel

Don't give up buddy.
Have you ever thought about maybe joining the Red Cross?
They will give you an opportunity to do your righteous deeds alongside other people who want to do the same thing.
Maybe being around other people who wish to help mankind will help you to form long lasting bonds with other people.
You would have to kick the opium first, of course.
You should try and do that anyway, it will fuel your resentment and eventually be your downfall.

Never give up. Work to find a solution to your problems and dont let anyone hold you back from doing so.
The world is yours, if you want it.

a reply to: AlienVessel


Why not make money helping people. If you are young you have a lot to learn my friend. Good luck and best wishes though.

Also the paragraph comment, well that is true....With this much text, it would be easier to read if it were broken up a bit....Just constructive critisisim.

originally posted by: Lysergic
a reply to: AlienVessel

Maybe if you learn to use paragraphs they might treat you mo betta?

LOOK PEOPLE! I CAME ON HERE TO SEE IN THERE WAS ANY GOOD FEEDBACK FOR MY PAIN.

AND I FOUND THIS!

NOW I AM GOING BACK TO THE WORLD AND I AM GOING TO ENCOUNTER MORE PEOPLE LIKE THIS - WHO JUST WANT ME TO FEEL WORSE.

a reply to: AlienVessel

Stop blaming others for you own actions.

Maybe start actually being an adult instead of just another self centered adult baby.

Just a thought.

I'm on my # like a toilet.

Lys reporting from 9th circle of hell.

originally posted by: incoserv
You lost me at "I have resorted to opium..."

Really? You're blaming your use of mind altering chemicals on how people treat you? Grow a pair! This alone tells enough about you to nullify everything you wrote. You're a junkie. You have no self-respect, why would you expect anyone else to respect you?

:

Why would you conclude that I am blaming my use of drugs on how people treat me? What are you talking about? You don't even make sense. You are CLEARLY just ANOTHER judgmental hater.

Honestly, you people make me want to scream for 2 hours straight without taking a breath. You want to depict to everyone like you are so smart but you don't even have any context to what you are speaking.

a reply to: AlienVessel

Learn to control your impulses perhaps or dont.

Everything is someone else's fault right?

take some damn ownership for your life.

You are the one at the wheel.

a reply to: AlienVessel

Calling someone out on their bull# isn't being a hater.

Get a new defense mechanism.

a reply to: Lysergic

You think I am going to waste one more minute talking to you hater? Now, that is something to LAUGH AT!!!

Bye hater, go hate on someone else now if you want because I am signing off because of you.