Getting over a breakup, any tips?

a reply to: gort51

I live in the Capital.
Fully aware of what Wales has to offer

originally posted by: Cymru
I now find myself sat in a Pub just drinking the days away.

My tip is to go to nice pubs and try different ales, rather than stick to the same-old-same-old. I see you are from the UK, so I would urge you to explore the richness from English and Welsh brewers.

Other than that, you may discover a new life partner in some spit-and-sawdust pub. You'll never know unless you try. Good luck.

I have to echo some of the others here.
Relationships are often ephemeral, it's part of the trial and error, the seeking, the trying, the failing-- because we can learn alot when we fail. It's just a part of being ALIVE. Maybe part of the process i think.
My wife just unilaterally ended our marriage of 15 years in July. I found in the end that I didn't want to get angry, bitter, or sad. I thought that's what I would feel-- but I didn't. I found myself feeling numb sure, shell shocked even, but I have no power to make her change her mind.
I got pretty introspective after I moved out, conflict was not something I wanted. Negative thoughts the same, likewise despair. Yeah I sipped a lot of scotch and zoned out seeking deeper for ways to process. Methods vary and so do results they say...but the point is that if I can't change it why should I waste my time dwelling on it? I decided to move on, I mean look around-- most relationships do NOT blossom into anything. I'm not special, it happens, so I need to get on with it. I'm stronger than I thought it turns out. And likely so are you.
In this oft blessed age we live in we forget, life can be hard, living can be hard, but it isn't a sprint is it? It's a long road and I believe we are meant to experience hardship and pain, disappointment and loss in order to appreciate the blessings when they happen. Pain hones us, hardship makes us stronger.
Change of venue, change of mindset, break out of the rut. Peer hard at the wondrous , in the little and in the big all around. Look inside yourself, you can move beyond this for it is a small thing in the big picture that is the tapestry of life..
Hang in there friend.

a reply to: flayer

Thanks for that Flayer. Powerful and wise words.
I'm sorry you are going through the same thing.
The pain of loss is physical and the loneliness all consuming.
Take care and best wishes.

Hello, this is a response of mine to a similar in spirit post on here and I haven't yet figured out this site but I wanted to share this simply because I've been where you and so many others are or have been.
♡
I was in your boat for a long tine. Not because I had to be, but because there comes a point when you can be choosing the pain by holding on or choosing healing by letting go. And like you, I was absolutely in every way invested in this person. I couldn't let go. Wouldn't. Chose not to. The way I see it, we can get so wrapped up in the idea of something and what our plans are that we allow our brains to just kind of leave out the negative things about someone. And we obsess about certain memories, we come into agreement with thoughts that say we can never have a true connection again. But that's exactly what they are: thoughts. And as smart as we humans may think we are and can sometimes be, our thoughts can certainly be wrong. So that's something to remember. I don't know why your relationship ended specifically but it's going to be a process, you may go from feeling great to feeling horrible to feeling pretty good again and then BAM: Depression. There's no set guide, here, except one: let yourself feel things. From what I've experienced, the hardest thing for me to personally do is face my pain because it's friggen painful and I want to be happy. I think that's normal. So what do we do? We drink, we numb it away with whatever, we try to shove it away and forget about it. Because feeling pain actually sucks. It's hard. It's a lot. Especially if you put yourself on the table, especially if you were vulnerable for this person. That's cutting, it's like death and I'm not trying to sound dramatic. I just understand. So my advice is decide to feel your feelings. Keeping busy and moving on will only be bandaids if you don't deal with what's going on inside of you and time doesn't heal all wounds by itself, in my opinion. Letting go seems way more difficult outside the door than it is once you get in there. Know that your value doesn't depend on anyone or anything, you are valuable, you were born valuable and that'll never change. And there will be a person for you that'll fit in ways and in places that you didn't even realize someone could fit. Right now though? Feel your feelings. Write them down, however it is you process your thoughts. Process them. I know it might sound too simple, maybe silly. But coming from someone who has done literally everything BUT process their feelings, trust me.....it goes a long way. I will pray on your behalf. Goodnight.

a reply to: sundayaddams

Very wise words. Appreciate the post.
And I will take them on board.
All the best.

a reply to: flayer

Well, I left the Engagement Ring in a Restaurant after we had a last meal together.
Attached note said I hope someone can gain from this.
Closure.

Make a voodoo doll of your lost lover and throw it in the dumpster behind the bowling alley. Video the whole process and put it up on youtube. Id like to see it...

a reply to: olaru12

Do I get to set fire to it as well?

originally posted by: Cymru
a reply to: olaru12

Do I get to set fire to it as well?

Sure, anything to help you get over a broken heart. Dumpster fires can certainly get the old testosterone flowing, everyone knows that....

a reply to: olaru12

Tidy Darts! A cracking idea.

a reply to: olaru12

I gave it away instead ....

www.abovetopsecret.com...

a reply to: Cymru

Try not to let your life spiral out of control. You owe it to yourself. Think about how much of an amazing human being you are. You are one of a kind and have something great to offer. You can do anything you set your mind to (as long as it's something positive and not harmful to yourself). Positivity is a choice.

Everything will work out...

a reply to: AmeriCol529
Everything will indeed work out
Power of positive thought.
She has issues so likely a lucky escape as bad as it feels.
Onward and upward.