The Shed 18

i did read the first post, and first page, but i wasn't sure if there was something i wasn't getting... just wanted to make sure

i just moved to california last year, and was having a pretty bad time with my anxiety and depression. it took me a long time to get on top of it and start pursuing better self-care and getting treatment, and i wasn't very functional at some points, but i've been doing better lately. i've slowly built my capabilities back up, and i've had a job for over two months now, and last night i went to a movie with a friend i've made at work and her friend... something that would have been intimidating if not entirely undoable even just a few months ago.

i've struggled with anxiety and depression all my life, but this is the first time i've started to look at it as a chronic condition instead of something that would just go away if i could only get in the right mindset and stop sucking so much... so being able to think of it that way and start looking at, how am i going to manage this condition instead of just feeling like i shouldn't have it has made a huge difference. i'm in a good place at the moment, and i hope it lasts. i'm going to try to make it last. and if i can help anyone else through similar i would be really happy, to be able to do that... people have really helped me in the past and especially lately, and i want to pay that forward.

was that somewhere in the ballpark? if not i can lurk more until i get a clue.

a reply to: fiverx313

Inspiring post! I am glad you found this place.

Fin, awesome song!!!!!!!

Hi Blue!

Night Light! Nightlight. LOL

originally posted by: Finspiracy
a reply to: fiverx313

Inspiring post! I am glad you found this place.

me too! part of what i've needed to do and have been doing bit by bit is trying to turn away from negativity and things that just make me mad, and find more positive things, people, and et cetera.

thank you

originally posted by: LightSpeedDriver
a reply to: Finspiracy
Now. Have you ever danced on a table?

I can remember it happening once. When my mandatory military service was over in 2000. To a 100% male audience, wearing nothing but boxer shorts and a gas mask. And extremely poor dancing skills. Sorry for the mental image, but you asked and i answered

a reply to: fiverx313

No need to lurk Fiver! I have mild anxiety and depression as do many of us here actually. I never got to give you a proper welcome so...welcome to our lovely realm! Glad you found us! So make yourself at home and enjoy!

a reply to: Night Star

thank you, i appreciate this place and i hope to contribute something good to it

this is an album i like to listen to when i'm aiming for a more peaceful mood...

a reply to: fiverx313

was that somewhere in the ballpark? if not i can lurk more until i get a clue.

That was a homerun outa the ballpark !
Great honest post , and you were strong enough to show your vulnerability which is well received in the Shed.
Thank you for sharing with us... and do so more often.

originally posted by: fiverx313
part of what i've needed to do and have been doing bit by bit is trying to turn away from negativity and things that just make me mad, and find more positive things, people, and et cetera.

I understand totally. In my past, every once in a while, i was a prisoner of my own hate. It was like a bogeyman was always next to me. Small bogeyman at times, almost gone but there. Then i fed it with negativity. It grew bigger and bigger, eventually chewing me with it's razor-sharp teeth in it's smelly mouth, swallowing me into it's rotten stomach where other negative feelings resided. Bitterness, anxiety, hopelessness and so on.

These days there are very, very few things that i actually hate. I don't want to mention them, i don't want to ruin the atmosphere, but i think pretty much anyone with any kind of emotions hate those things. Check: news headlines.

I dislike many things, though, but in a healthy way.

a reply to: fiverx313

i've struggled with anxiety and depression all my life, but this is the first time i've started to look at it as a chronic condition instead of something that would just go away if i could only get in the right mindset and stop sucking so much... so being able to think of it that way and start looking at, how am i going to manage this condition instead of just feeling like i shouldn't have it has made a huge difference.

It does make a difference when you look at it that way. It is vital that we just keep trying and hold on to the good days, knowing that they will eventually return again. When we fall, we pick ourselves back up as best we can, or just ride it out for a while until we find our strength and inspiration again.

a reply to: Sheye

thank you, that's very sweet. i hope it's just kind of an overview of where i'm coming from these days, to get everyone started. i know if you've seen me post elsewhere on here i can be obnoxious, but that's not the whole story... and i'll keep that part of me in check here, promise.


a reply to: Finspiracy

i think that's a really good metaphor. the bogeyman that you feed until it eats you whole.

agree with you re: the news. i severely overdosed in the last year on that stuff and have been cutting back over the last few months as part of my new self-care routines... and trying not to get as worked up about it when i do pay attention.


a reply to: Night Star

beautifully put. believing they're coming back is the key, i think. i never used to believe they'd arrive at all!

a reply to: fiverx313

Oh I love Loreena McKennit! Good one!

a reply to: Sheye

I have always loved and appreciated that we have strong and vulnerable men in here and that they aren't afraid to be themselves.

originally posted by: Night Star
a reply to: Sheye

I have always loved and appreciated that we have strong and vulnerable men in here and that they aren't afraid to be themselves.

ooh.. i'm not a man, actually. sorry, i realize the name is nonspecific and the avatar might be misleading.

a reply to: fiverx313

LOL! No problem! I shouldn't have assumed, but yeah...avatars tend to throw me.

I spotted a local free newspaper on my floor. Half a page sized ad facing up. It was about a company that sells houses. The slogan goes "Maybe the most important hour of your life" and they are referring to the time it takes to negotiate with them.

Voodoo nonsense.

My most important hour is from this moment until 60 minutes have passed. And then next one starts but it is not yet here.

a reply to: Finspiracy


Yep. Some people take one day at a time, others, one hour or one minute...whatever it takes to see our way through.

originally posted by: fiverx313

originally posted by: Night Star
a reply to: Sheye

I have always loved and appreciated that we have strong and vulnerable men in here and that they aren't afraid to be themselves.

ooh.. i'm not a man, actually. sorry, i realize the name is nonspecific and the avatar might be misleading.

😆... No need to apologize for not being a man.

I’m not a dude either, just so you know.. lol

Feel like you can relax and have fun in here ... it’s a fun place as well as a place to vent.

I’m a big Loreena McKinnett fan as well ... saw her live once in a very small intimate theatre here in town. She had such awesome musicians with her.

a reply to: Sheye

/tries to relax

hehe

i bet that was a good live show. i've had that album over twenty years now and it's always been a very centering thing for me. her music just radiates peace.

originally posted by: fiverx313
a reply to: Night Star

thank you, i appreciate this place and i hope to contribute something good to it

this is an album i like to listen to when i'm aiming for a more peaceful mood...

You have come to the right place to share your thoughts and your music too. Good song by the way.
I'm a member of the Shed as life has gone downhill for me since losing my wife and some other family. Having a heart attack made things more complicated for me as well. I'm taking each week as it comes and trying to look after myself the best that I can.

Glad to have you here to share, laugh, and cry with.

Shed 18 will be over with once we get up to about 195 pages. We all will be jumping to Shed 19 then so put on your seatbelt and be ready for the jump.