What would you do if your signifigant other spit in your face?

I’m in a bit of disbelief at the moment. I called my sister a few hours ago just to catch up. We don’t talk as often as we should (both of our faults) plus, I needed to talk to her about Christmas plans and such.

A few minutes into the normal pleasantries I could tell something was off with her. I didn’t pry because I know how she is, she would have just shut down. After some time and, after I vented some of my marital frustrations with her, she completely broke down crying.

When she calmed down she told me that her husband had spit in her face TWICE and berated her relentlessly.

After seeing crimson red and biting my tongue to the point of nearly drawing blood, I asked her as calmly as I could why in the hell would he do that.

Apparently he was upset that she had a friend over to visit...he even did it right in front of her friend!!!!

I’m at a loss right now!! I haven’t been able to think about anything else for hours. I want to get in my car, drive hundreds of miles so I can kick his ass!

I would NEVER do something so disresptful to anyone. Much less my spouse despite how angry I might be in the moment.

I asked her what she did after it happened and she shut down on me. She abruptly said she had to go and that was that.

I’m still seething with anger! I don’t know exactly what I would do in that situation but, I do know it wouldn’t be pretty.

a reply to: MagesticEsoteric

jesus. well i would leave them but tbh it's not always that simple or cut and dried, or easy.

you didn't ask but as for what you can do, just let her know that if she ever needs to just go that you'll have a place for her, if you can.

a reply to: MagesticEsoteric

I think if the spit came out twice there were other warning signs that the relationship was poo poo.

We all get pissed at the better halfs because that is life.

If my sig other spit in my face I think it would be time to call it a day on the relationship.

a reply to: MagesticEsoteric

I come from a reformed violent family and if any one of my siblings spit in my face, we'd throw hands. It's a sign of hate in my opinion. None of my siblings have done this to me. We've fought all the time and pulled non lethal weapons on each other. If a loved one did this... It's time to go, now.

a reply to: fiverx313

I think she was embarrassed, that’s why she got off the phone so quickly.

I’ll give her a little bit of time but, I will definitely make it clear that she has a place to go if needed.

If it was my sister? Azz beating time, go call the cops! More beatings continue.....but I’m from New York...we’re not very tolerant here

a reply to: seasonal

I agree!

But, as fiver said, it’s not always cut and dry.

They have kids and I don’t know if she will end it. I just don’t know.

a reply to: Antipathy17

Oh, you must have misread. It was my sisters husband that spit in her face.

If it was a sibling spitting in my face... they would laid out flat for sure.

a reply to: MagesticEsoteric


The situation suggests to me that the husband is suspicious of his wife's friend and that they may be more involved that being just friends. Spitting is usually a response to one finding disgust in another's actions or words. Some cultures use spitting more than others. In the US, not so much.

a reply to: MagesticEsoteric

Bro...I'm not trying to be a dick, but if he is willing to commit such an act in front of a visitor...what else is he doing behind closed doors.
You need to sit down with your sister and talk

I've had a llama spit a big gnarly glob of of snotty foam in my face.
I punched that sumbitch flat on his ass.

a reply to: MagesticEsoteric

He sounds like a control freak. Was her friend female? Even worse, if he's isolating her from friends.
I hope I'm wrong, but he sounds very abusive. I've been in a couple of abusive relationships, and I've never been spit at.
Sometimes, even if children are involved, it's still time to leave. Kids should never see their mother abused....

originally posted by: Macenroe82
a reply to: MagesticEsoteric

Bro...I'm not trying to be a dick, but if he is willing to commit such an act in front of a visitor...what else is he doing behind closed doors.
You need to sit down with your sister and talk

Not a dick at all... my first thought too.

I’m worried to say the least.

a reply to: Aliensun

Personally, I feel it’s one of the more disgraceful things you can do to a person.

If he hit her, I would still be equally pissed.

a reply to: Macenroe82

Beat me to it.

Its pretty disgusting and there's a very good chance things could escalate.

Disrespectful is an understatement here and I'd hate to think where this may lead if the guy has "that" kind of attitude.

I have three sisters and I've already had to get between the youngest and one of her exes in a most unpleasant situation.
Thankfully that was a long time ago.

a reply to: snowspirit

Yes, female friend. I do get a sense that he is isolating her.

Ive been thinking about so many things since I got off the phone and I’m seeing a pattern now.

This is probably a bigger problem than I initially thought.

a reply to: MagesticEsoteric

What would you do if your signifigant other spit in your face?

That person would no longer be a significant other.

Period.

originally posted by: MagesticEsoteric
a reply to: Aliensun

Personally, I feel it’s one of the more disgraceful things you can do to a person.

If he hit her, I would still be equally pissed.

I agree, but the whole point for that disgusting act is the reason WHY it was done. That is being avoided here by the OP. Acts have consequences and the spitting was motivated by something far more serious than a "her friend being over." Is the guy known to be a hothead, jealous, irrational, etc? What is the unknown part of the story we are not being told?

How nice of her to lube your face before sitting.

originally posted by: Aliensun

originally posted by: MagesticEsoteric
a reply to: Aliensun

Personally, I feel it’s one of the more disgraceful things you can do to a person.

If he hit her, I would still be equally pissed.

I agree, but the whole point for that disgusting act is the reason WHY it was done. That is being avoided here by the OP. Acts have consequences and the spitting was motivated by something far more serious than a "her friend being over." Is the guy known to be a hothead, jealous, irrational, etc? What is the unknown part of the story we are not being told?

I only know what she tells me.

We live 7 hours drive apart, I don’t know the ins and outs of their relationship and I’ve only been around him personally maybe 10 or so times.

I’m not avoiding telling things that I simply just don’t know.