Is It Now Considered “Sexual Misconduct” to Ask For Sex?

originally posted by: queenofswords
Women need to send stronger messages to men who don't understand gentle or weakly-stated "no-s". If a woman can't make it totally clear early on in the flirtatious stage, the male may think all she needs is a little "priming". And let's face it ladies, sometimes that leads to a consensual encounter.

For the men like Weinstein and Spacey, Louis C.K., and others who seem to ignore gentle no-s and even stronger no-s, they need to suffer the consequences. Looks like that is what is happening

Rules are changing, I guess....for women and men.

Women, you need to be firm with your disapproval, and if it results in punishment by losing an opportunity, sound off loudly and clearly AND timely to the right people.

Men? I don't know. You're going to have to learn a different "language". Maybe what your father taught you was okay, is not really okay in today's environment. What you saw in the movies, on TV, and heard in your music is no longer okay.

Could this song even get on the charts today? Probably not.

Louis CK had consent, he was told yes, and he asked all five ladies, all of which, said yes. It wasn't a no, or a soft no. Don't lump him in with Spacey or Weinstein.

That said, soft no's in reality are sometimes really just a soft yes. Some girls really do play "hard to get" and that's how they flirt. The reality is, everyone flirts differently and each situation is unique onto it's own context. No is not always no, and yes is not always yes. Louis C.K. was told yes, but now it's "misconduct." Every guy on the planet who has had more than one lover knows from experience no's are not always no's -- you just have to play harder. [This doesn't mean to force or rape your way into a yes.]

a reply to: SRPrime

"Don't drop your line where you swim"

Sex with a co-worker is never a good idea.

'asking' for sex from people whose career you can ruin is not really 'asking'.

even louis ck acknowledged that, not sure why it's hard for OP et al to grasp.

a reply to: SRPrime

I thought Louis C.K. actually exposed himself and masturbated in front of them without their okay.

originally posted by: Annee
a reply to: SRPrime

"Don't drop your line where you swim"

Sex with a co-worker is never a good idea.

Neither is openly flirting sexually with married coworkers. Worked in a place where the staff room was full of this ( both genders ) ... and it was nauseating to listen to.

a reply to: Metallicus

Being conspiracy minded, I'd say it's a conspiracy to bring Trump down. Once enough famous people fall on their swords and the pile of bodies rises high enough Trump won't be able to hide from his own allegations of misconduct.

If it outs a lot of abusers along the way, I can't say I'm entirely against it.

originally posted by: underwerks
a reply to: Metallicus

Being conspiracy minded, I'd say it's a conspiracy to bring Trump down. Once enough famous people fall on their swords and the pile of bodies rises high enough Trump won't be able to hide from his own allegations of misconduct.

If it outs a lot of abusers along the way, I can't say I'm entirely against it.

or... perhaps someone being able to do what trump has himself said he does and be elected president has brought the issue to the forefront and made people realize we're not addressing this kind of thing seriously enough.

Sex with a co-worker is never a good idea

Maybe not, but it shouldn't be a crime either. America is supposed to be the land of the free after all.

originally posted by: fiverx313

originally posted by: underwerks
a reply to: Metallicus

Being conspiracy minded, I'd say it's a conspiracy to bring Trump down. Once enough famous people fall on their swords and the pile of bodies rises high enough Trump won't be able to hide from his own allegations of misconduct.

If it outs a lot of abusers along the way, I can't say I'm entirely against it.

or... perhaps someone being able to do what trump has himself said he does and be elected president has brought the issue to the forefront and made people realize we're not addressing this kind of thing seriously enough.

I hope you're right. Trump needs to be held accountable the same as everyone else that used their power to be perverts.

a reply to: CB328

It isn't a crime. Or can you cite a statute which makes it one? Assuming, of course, that the co-worker is past the age of consent.

originally posted by: Metallicus
...Louis C K as far as I can tell asked women of legal age for sex. He didn’t t force himself on anyone. How is this now an offense where you should lose your job and source of income?

It's illegal to be a man isn't it?

The essence of the claims are that Louis CK locked the door to the room, asked young colleagues if he could masturbate, most thought he was joking (he is a comedian, no?), then whipped his wang out and started masturbating. Many tried to exit, he blocked the door to stop them leaving.

This is suggested to have happened many many times. When these claims have made the light of day (since around 2012), his PR machine kicked into action to silence the accusers.

That is sexual assault. And he's said the allegations are true.

Meanwhile, it is still perfectly acceptable for an alphabet agency to turn on your webcam without your consent and spy on you playing with your little soldier.

a reply to: sooth

I'm so glad I'm on a PC that has no web cam. Also tape.

originally posted by: Phage
a reply to: CB328

It isn't a crime. Or can you cite a statute which makes it one? Assuming, of course, that the co-worker is past the age of consent.

It's not a criminal crime, but it can be a career ending infraction in many business's these days if it is reported to the HR department. The "office Christmas party" has changed a lot over the last 20 yrs. , especially for the rank and file employees, little or no booze is encouraged.

a reply to: MountainLaurel

It's not a criminal crime, but it can be a career ending infraction in many business's these days if it is reported to the HR department.

Depending on company policy, yes, it could be grounds for termination. Career ending? Maybe. I guess.

if you are a woman and someone asks you to beat off in front of you and you say yes without gesturing displeasure or saying something then guess what... it's your fault

it's funny how the feminism is all about empowering females until it comes to actually standing up for yourself and realizing that you need to have boundaries and say no when some creep asks you that question

what the hell

honestly if I have a daughter that's how I'm raising her

I will teach her jiu jitsu AND teach her that when she feels uncomfortable she needs to voice her opinion and forcefully if so, stop raising victims parents

Feminism is evil, just like corporatism and extreme right wing philosophy are evil.

Feminism says that one half of the population should have no regard for or responsibilities to the other half, even though our half does most of the heavy lifting in society.

originally posted by: Jefferton
I have to agree, it is becoming really confusing.

If wanting/asking for sex is now a potential crime, then the bar scene might as well be shut down for being a haven of abuse.

There is definitely a line, but where is it?

Not really an apt comparison.

It's more like a bartender saying, if you want a drink at my bar then you'll have to sit there and watch me masturbate first.

originally posted by: Annee
a reply to: SRPrime

"Don't drop your line where you swim"

Sex with a co-worker is never a good idea.

I met my wife years ago as a co-worker where we then dated and..... had sex.

Worked out perfectly fine.