Men Taking Classes to Unlearn Toxic Masculinity From Rape Crisis Center, Collective Action for Safe

a reply to: DBCowboy

I think you need to stop your diet now - I want the old DB back

a reply to: Mandroid7

WARNING ON CHAINSAW : "Do not handle a chainsaw and do runny fart's at the same time. Moving legs rapidly will cause amputation"

a reply to: ABNARTY

No because toxic masculinity can be far more dangerous than what ever toxic female equivalent would be.

I don't think a lot of people in this thread actually know what toxic masculinity means, or where it derives from.
A good start would to just simply watch the movie "Fight Club" or read the book.

The whole point of the concept behind it is that society in the west seems to still hold strong values that the MAN should wear the pants around the house the MAN should be the intimidating voice and presence of his surroundings and makes sure that the MAN does that to make himself look strong in any way possible.
And if he doesn't then he must be weak and not a man at all. Which can lead to a toxic environment in a stable western society for a family. And that is just the beginning.
It can lead to depression and lots of stress on the male in question because all it would take is some little failures to suggest he isn't a strong male and not living up to that masculine model that media and friendship circles and what not suppose he should be living like. It usually stems from a poor upbringing from a poor father figure or lack there of one.

Male values that are still held in third world countries where rape culture and women beating are still a daily occurrence do no belong in a stable western society. And that's what toxic masculinity eventually leads to, violence.

a reply to: MisterSpock

"I'll take things stupid people say for 1000 alex."

this is not a game...

a reply to: strongfp

I take issue with that in the sense that they openly say this class is for anyone who "identifies as a man." To me that's loaded language.

If you don't identify as a man, then you're OK no matter what your actual biological sex is. It's only those pesky men we need to deprogram. They cause all the problems in life!

It goes into the deeper complexities.

For the past 25 years, Mankowski has taught a course titled Psychology of Men and Masculinities, which, he says, “deconstruct[s] how masculinity is socialized as a performative mask rather than a biological imperative.”

He argues that the concept of “toxic masculinity” has four main components:

suppression of anything stereotypically feminine;

suppression of emotions related to vulnerability, like fear, sadness, or helplessness;

male domination over women and other men;

and aggression.

“From those four distal expectations come the proximal attitudes and behaviors, like ‘I deserve to have access to women’s bodies,’” he explains. “What we don’t know is if it’s more effective to address the distal or proximal ideas and behaviors.”

Mankowski says alcohol abuse is a perfect example. “It numbs feelings and allows men to act aggressive. We can effectively address it, but we’re not addressing the underlying issue. It’s functioning to help them display their manhood, so why would they stop?”

www.thecut.com...

Reported rape rate in the U.S.:

www.statista.com...

Rape crisis in England and Wales, rates:

rapecrisis.org.uk...

a reply to: seasonal

if I have toxic masculinity then speak to the females in my family you know the women who helped raise me !

if you were raised by a woman and men are considered to be toxicly masculine in the modern world, then some women have a lot to answer for !

Im just saying, most people managed to be lucky enough to be raised by their mothers and fathers, some just by mothers some just by fathers, others not at all.

If however there is a lot of toxic masculinity in todays world then , obviously our parents have a lot to answer for right ?

Im saying that , our masculinity shouldnt just be men that have to deal with it , our females also need to learn how to raise children so they dont end up being "toxicly masculine"


Im not sure about many of you males, but my mother and my grand mothers done most of the raising in my family, my dad was around , but never really directed me as much as my mum and grand mothers. My dad did teach me things and was there for me , but wasnt the dad that was in movies.
My dad was always busy working , or fixing things at home , so he was always busy. He did always give me moments of wisdom when my mum couldnt.
I turned out ok and im happy that I am not a toxic male. Thanks to my parents.

So are we making males toxic , by not having decent enough father figures , or is it something our mothers arent doing right ?
where does the toxicity come from ?

originally posted by: seasonal
a reply to: CromCruachh

Sounds like he is a rapist who is looking for something to blame. Like all men.

Da fuq?

Is this statement supposed to imply all men are rapists at their core?

You might want to go to a course to deal with your toxic femininity.

a reply to: ketsuko

So you're saying women should be taking this course as well?

originally posted by: strongfp
a reply to: ketsuko

So you're saying women should be taking this course as well?

I am saying anyone who identifies as a man? Really?

So anyone who grows up an says he's a man? They have instant toxic masculinity?

originally posted by: Kettu
How much you all want to bet the males who react negatively to this are the ones most insecure about their own manhood?

Not exactly. Speaking for myself, only, of course... I'm insecure about the future acceptance of my son, who I am raising naturally as well as whether my daughter, who is also being raised naturally, will be able to find an honest to God traditional man to marry in 15+/- years among what potentially looks to be a sea of whiny enlightened pansies.

I have no need to justify myself any more. I've already played the game, took my club out to the neighboring village and returned to my cave with a mate. I have no reason whatsoever to feel insecure about my manhood namely because it goes unquestioned. (Oh, and I drive a big truck because you can't fit a moose carcass, a dipnet, or a cord of firewood in the back of a Prius, just to clear that little piece of information up.)

I'm raising a son who is respectful to others, but who is also perfectly willing to show anger when the situation calls for it. He's been in a few scrapes before we started homeschooling, and one of those involved him bloodying another boy's nose. He was defending himself and that's not only OK, it's what I expect him to do because it is the natural order of things. I'm also raising a daughter who is an absolute wildcat, fierce little girl who has bloodied more noses than her brother and is perfectly willing to light right in the middle of someone who disrespects her, even when she's wearing her best dress and has a pink bow in her hair. I truly pity any "enlightened" boy who tries to date her in 8-10 years when she's allowed to do so because if I don't scare the poor bastard right into a coma, she'll stomp a mudhole in him and walk it dry the moment he pisses her off.

There is no such animal as "toxic masculinity." It's a BS concept invented by the human equivalent of an undersized, underdeveloped buck deer that finds itself season after season without a mate because he can't win one. It is an artificial attempt to level the playing field needlessly, and will ultimately result in lesser genetics being passed down if it succeeds. Victory and success is for the strong, not for the weak and certainly not for the pitiful.

a reply to: ketsuko

Toxic masculinity is a social countruct.
So yes, it can apply to those who identify themselves as male.


But, Come on, out with it. I know you want to point fingers at certain people. Might as well just say it.
Does that thought touch a nerve on masculinity?

a reply to: burdman30ott6

You raising a family and passing on your genes is the ultimate expression of a male.
You've done that.
Congrats.

But you miss the point of when that masculinity becomes toxic.

originally posted by: strongfp
a reply to: burdman30ott6

You raising a family and passing on your genes is the ultimate expression of a male.
You've done that.
Congrats.

But you miss the point of when that masculinity becomes toxic.

No, I don't miss the point. What I see, however, is a set of constantly moving goalposts. It is disingenuous to portray the concept of txic masculinity as being centered on crimes like rape and assault, when we have absolutely seen it being much more focused on matters of traditional gender roles, openness of emotions, and even dipping into the ridiculousness of "male privilege." As I said, I raise my boy to respect women... I also will admit that I believe a woman's place is in the home, I teach my son that sometimes a man rubs some grease on a cut, shakes it off, and goes on with what needs to be done, and there's a world of difference between displaying deep emotion and whining about crap. Men can cry when moved, but a man does not whine.

originally posted by: strongfp
a reply to: burdman30ott6

But you miss the point of when that masculinity becomes toxic.

Its funny, according to some of this new age feminist claptrap I would fit the definition of being a toxic male, yet if I was one of these new age in touch with my feelings sensitive men I would not be 11 years married with a wonderful strong willed woman.

As my wife has said on more than one occasion, I wanted to marry a man, not a boy.

a reply to: Irishhaf

I'm old fashioned. (Silliness aside)

My wife no longer works, she enjoys being a housewife and homemaker while I, the man, go out and earn the money to keep us in a lifestyle we enjoy.

We've often joked about the "new age" male. I would have been a sad and very lonely man if I adopted these "tender and sensitive" traits.

a reply to: Irishhaf

Do you beat your wife?
Do you lash out in fits of yelling and rage?
Are you jealous of other men and care what they say?
Do you blame society for your failures?
So you try to live up to what a man should be?

I don't think you know what toxic masculinity really means. Being a man means not doing those things and more. And some people do those things because of social contructs.

Honesty you sound like a normal guy, like me, but it doesn't mean you need to defend masculinity because you are doing it right. What's their to defend?

a reply to: DBCowboy

You sound like you need a hug

originally posted by: Autorico
a reply to: DBCowboy

You sound like you need a hug

Just don't hold me too tight.

I tend to fart when squeezed.

originally posted by: Autorico
a reply to: DBCowboy

You sound like you need a hug

After reading db's response you may need a peg.