Is it Possible to be in Love Forever

I had a very vivid dream last night about a woman who could best be described as my soul mate, but the relationship ended 12 years ago.

She has since moved on and has a son and is married. She was my fiance. I never held any ill will towards her as during our time we suffered a miscarriage. It was devastating to us both. A bit later, I was working a job that required my complete attention at the time, to which she felt my total focus was on, and we separated. She was working at the time, and so was I.. her coming from being a bartender to a call center, and my job was being a maintenance supervisor to an upscale multiple unit complex on Walnut Creek, Ca.

The site was a disaster. I couldn't keep up as I was a supervisor of myself looking after 115 units. We would argue, and we lived on site, afforded an apartment as part of the employment package.

Never live where you work. This should be chiseled into every one who does maintenance. You'll thank me.

The work, which was all I had at the time, was our launch pad to other things.... our starting out point not only fir us but for me. Not discounting her input, but my wages were higher.

As I reflect on that situation, it's ups and downs, I don't think I ever got over her.

The dream consisted of all the beautiful ways we connected. Those astrological folks out there can't deny the Gemini/Libra connection, and pretty much ALL my relationships have been with Libras. That's another aspect I recognize.

In the dream, it was so vivid.. I could feel her hair, smell her skin...pretty much I WAS THERE with her, but only in that time line...she was at the age when we were together, and it seemed I wasn't.

So do we TRULY get over loves and SINCERE connections? Or do we overwrite our disappointments and failures only to have pieces of ourselves linger in the ether to haunt us?

Last night was the happiest I'd been a while.... short while...I love in reality. However, I didn't want to wake up, and when I did I was happy but miserable.

Do we ever really move on...I mean REALLY move on, or do we just compromise to move on...

I would appreciate some input from our ladies on here, because I would imagine they sacrifice and compromise more than us men think.

Thanks for reading.

originally posted by: EternalShadow
I had a very vivid dream last night about a woman who could best be described as my soul mate, but the relationship ended 12 years ago.

She has since moved on and has a son and is married. She was my fiance. I never held any ill will towards her as during our time we suffered a miscarriage. It was devastating to us both. A bit later, I was working a job that required my complete attention at the time, to which she felt my total focus was on, and we separated. She was working at the time, and so was I.. her coming from being a bartender to a call center, and my job was being a maintenance supervisor to an upscale multiple unit complex on Walnut Creek, Ca.

The site was a disaster. I couldn't keep up as I was a supervisor of myself looking after 115 units. We would argue, and we lived on site, afforded an apartment as part of the employment package.

Never live where you work. This should be chiseled into every one who does maintenance. You'll thank me.

The work, which was all I had at the time, was our launch pad to other things.... our starting out point not only fir us but for me. Not discounting her input, but my wages were higher.

As I reflect on that situation, it's ups and downs, I don't think I ever got over her.

The dream consisted of all the beautiful ways we connected. Those astrological folks out there can't deny the Gemini/Libra connection, and pretty much ALL my relationships have been with Libras. That's another aspect I recognize.

In the dream, it was so vivid.. I could feel her hair, smell her skin...pretty much I WAS THERE with her, but only in that time line...she was at the age when we were together, and it seemed I wasn't.

So do we TRULY get over loves and SINCERE connections? Or do we overwrite our disappointments and failures only to have pieces of ourselves linger in the ether to haunt us?

Last night was the happiest I'd been a while.... short while...I love in reality. However, I didn't want to wake up, and when I did I was happy but miserable.

Do we ever really move on...I mean REALLY move on, or do we just compromise to move on...

I would appreciate some input from our ladies on here, because I would imagine they sacrifice and compromise more than us men think.

Thanks for reading.

Simple answer - Yes I believe it’s truly possible to love somebody forever and never get over them.

I won’t tell the story as it is a real source of pain for me right now. However I can say that my story is very similar to yours. It all happened nearly 6 years ago now.

I know how you feel. If it’s meant to be then it will be... I don’t know if I believe in fate but it sure helps believing that one day she will come back.

S&F

Yes, I believe so.

a reply to: EternalShadow

Is it Possible to be in Love Forever

Yes, it is. That's true love, whether it works out or not.

Do we ever really move on...

Not from true love. There are only a few women I have never gotten over to this day, and my feelings are always still there.

I mean REALLY move on, or do we just compromise to move on...

Most people get to a point where they just "settle." The classic fairy tale act of refusing to move on or settle because you still love another (regardless of time) can be viewed as either entirely chivalric or completely stubborn. Or both.

originally posted by: fusiondoe

originally posted by: EternalShadow
I had a very vivid dream last night about a woman who could best be described as my soul mate, but the relationship ended 12 years ago.

She has since moved on and has a son and is married. She was my fiance. I never held any ill will towards her as during our time we suffered a miscarriage. It was devastating to us both. A bit later, I was working a job that required my complete attention at the time, to which she felt my total focus was on, and we separated. She was working at the time, and so was I.. her coming from being a bartender to a call center, and my job was being a maintenance supervisor to an upscale multiple unit complex on Walnut Creek, Ca.

The site was a disaster. I couldn't keep up as I was a supervisor of myself looking after 115 units. We would argue, and we lived on site, afforded an apartment as part of the employment package.

Never live where you work. This should be chiseled into every one who does maintenance. You'll thank me.

The work, which was all I had at the time, was our launch pad to other things.... our starting out point not only fir us but for me. Not discounting her input, but my wages were higher.

As I reflect on that situation, it's ups and downs, I don't think I ever got over her.

The dream consisted of all the beautiful ways we connected. Those astrological folks out there can't deny the Gemini/Libra connection, and pretty much ALL my relationships have been with Libras. That's another aspect I recognize.

In the dream, it was so vivid.. I could feel her hair, smell her skin...pretty much I WAS THERE with her, but only in that time line...she was at the age when we were together, and it seemed I wasn't.

So do we TRULY get over loves and SINCERE connections? Or do we overwrite our disappointments and failures only to have pieces of ourselves linger in the ether to haunt us?

Last night was the happiest I'd been a while.... short while...I love in reality. However, I didn't want to wake up, and when I did I was happy but miserable.

Do we ever really move on...I mean REALLY move on, or do we just compromise to move on...

I would appreciate some input from our ladies on here, because I would imagine they sacrifice and compromise more than us men think.

Thanks for reading.

Simple answer - Yes I believe it’s truly possible to love somebody forever and never get over them.

I won’t tell the story as it is a real source of pain for me right now. However I can say that my story is very similar to yours. It all happened nearly 6 years ago now.

I know how you feel. If it’s meant to be then it will be... I don’t know if I believe in fate but it sure helps believing that one day she will come back.

S&F

Funny as thought when I woke up that, YES there's the possibility she would come back.

I actually went through a scenario in my mind while awake of what I would say to make it okay and everything would be just as it was, or at the very least, a starting point that would put things back in motion.

I'm not kidding myself... it's far fetched to say the least. I just know that we don't reveal to others our innermost feelings as it pertains to loves lost in order to move on, compromise and try again.

Sometimes, however, it would be naive to state that those lingering feelings don't compromise future relationships..

originally posted by: Liquesence
a reply to: EternalShadow

Is it Possible to be in Love Forever

Yes, it is. That's true love, whether it works out or not.

Do we ever really move on...

Not from true love. There are only a few women I have never gotten over to this day, and my feelings are always still there.

I mean REALLY move on, or do we just compromise to move on...

Most people get to a point where they just "settle." The classic fairy tale act of refusing to move on or settle because you still love another (regardless of time) can be viewed as either entirely chivalric or completely stubborn. Or both.

After 12 years, I'm hoping it's not just attributed to stubbornness.. lol

Thanks for the input

Yes, I think it does exist, but it's not effortless.

You have to work at it some.

And after a miscarriage, you both needed each other more than ever. Whether you believe it or not, a miscarriage is a death in your family. You go through mourning and you need each other. It sounds like you coped by withdrawing and focusing on your job when she needed you, and it broke you apart.

And now you have to wait to see if it can be again because she has gone on.

The life long love affair is so rare.

If it even exists.

Love is work, nothing all that magical after 25 years.

The chick I thought I loved could body double for Shamu.

a reply to: EternalShadow

Then again, once you have that connection, it will always remain inside you (regardless of whether it works out).

Whether it was meant to be is a different matter, or was it simply a method of learning and personal growth for you, or her, or both.

What would you do if she returned to you? What would you do if you are seriously dating another and she returns? Those are questions by which you must know yourself.

originally posted by: ketsuko
Yes, I think it does exist, but it's not effortless.

You have to work at it some.

And after a miscarriage, you both needed each other more than ever. Whether you believe it or not, a miscarriage is a death in your family. You go through mourning and you need each other. It sounds like you coped by withdrawing and focusing on your job when she needed you, and it broke you apart.

And now you have to wait to see if it can be again because she has gone on.

Yes, I can concur with your assessment as we both sunk into our jobs as a coping mechanism.

As far as it being 12 years now, even though I have had other relationships and friends and situations... SHE is the only one I dream about. I was married for 8 years prior to her, we met 2 years after my divorce, and I have never dreamed about my ex-wife.

I really think I screwed the pooch many years ago..

a reply to: EternalShadow

Just cause you dream about her doesn't mean she's the only one.

I'll tell you the truth. I end up dreaming about an ex more than my own husband, but it has nothing to do with me carrying a secret torch for him and everything to do with the ways he wrapped me up psychologically. He now represents dark things.

She may just be a manifestation of what you think you're missing more than a sign you actually are missing your one and only.

a reply to: EternalShadow

Yes.

originally posted by: Liquesence
a reply to: EternalShadow


What would you do if she returned to you? What would you do if you are seriously dating another and she returns? Those are questions by which you must know yourself.

Very good questions!

Seeing as I haven't had that type of connection with anyone else so far, I would take a chance with her again, why?

First off, I'm not naive to think after 12 years people do not change, plus she has a son, a child that I'm sure helped her move on from our miscarriage. Plus she's married. Obviously, in reality she has effectively moved on. I have too.

HOWEVER, why am I dreaming so vividly about her?
Why did I wake up so encouraged and enthralled??

That's my point. I get it dreams are dreams. Reality is reality..

But last night, I wanted so much for that dream ti be reality, so much so I didn't care if I woke up.

And this is 12 years ago stuff.

Love is forever I believe.... I truly do.

Yes. Still "in love" with an ex that I am glad I divorced.

Some things about him I will always miss. Many things about the reality I am so glad are gone.

But, yes, I will always have a piece of me that loves him. And I see him in our grown children, and miss the good.

The heart wants what the heart wants.

originally posted by: ketsuko
a reply to: EternalShadow

She may just be a manifestation of what you think you're missing more than a sign you actually are missing your one and only.

I wouldn't dismiss that being the case, but I would hate to think that with every relationship lost or behind us, we throw effort and commitment out the door only to reassure ourselves that if we do it differently next time, we can forget said effort, commitment and connection.

I get it ...regardless sometimes it doesn't work out.

But it sure as hell lingers..

originally posted by: Justso
Yes. Still "in love" with an ex that I am glad I divorced.

Some things about him I will always miss. Many things about the reality I am so glad are gone.

But, yes, I will always have a piece of me that loves him. And I see him in our grown children, and miss the good.

The heart wants what the heart wants.

That's beautiful.

(And I'm not being sarcastic)

a reply to: EternalShadow

Is it Possible to be in Love Forever

Yes. Love is proven , demonstrated , loyal over time. There is nothing wrong with remaining true to your loved even if its a long lost love.

You still love her in your heart, A++.

Yup

a reply to: EternalShadow

So do we TRULY get over loves and SINCERE connections? Or do we overwrite our disappointments and failures only to have pieces of ourselves linger in the ether to haunt us?

First off thank you for this wonderful thread and giving me a moment to stop and consider your question.

I do not think we are meant to get over our love and sincere connections. Our relationships are meant to teach us about love, in all its aspects, the good and the bad so to speak.

Ultimately we are meant to seek within ourselves what we so often seek outside, love. We have within us a source of unconditional love, I would even go so far as to say that it is our highest truth.

Our relationships reflect to us what we need to learn and I do not think there is a way to get over the impact they have had, for they are so important to our evolution. Your experience and the love you have is beautiful, a blessing along your path.

I think that through those connections we can integrate that love into our ordinary experience, if it can be met with non-attachment.

I really like that you asked this question, I have been focused on a similar scenario. Me and the woman I love would like to have a chance to be together but live very far away from each other, which I believe is stopping her from believing there is a chance.

What I have learned throughout my entire relationship with this woman is how important it is to love without attachment. Easier said than done lol!

Thank you for sharing!

a reply to: Liquesence

Thanks. That was so nice of you. It was a deep moment for me there.