Baddogma's Other Meta Cafe- Polite Discussions About Scientific Mysticism and General Weirdness

a reply to: Reverbs

I don't know which posts you're referring to.

I think it's a matter of perspective though, depending on who's reading.

originally posted by: Mousygretchen
a reply to: Reverbs

I don't know which posts you're referring to.

I think it's a matter of perspective though, depending on who's reading.

Over time I study my memory trying to separate what all happened in the time when my world went screwy.
I had stopped that in favor of just letting it be, I had seen enough.
Today my random trying to connect something Peeple said with what Serdgiam said years ago, led me to me..
The more I look at it, the more I see defense mechanisms to trauma.
Some of those defenses could have really hurt others, even though I didn't mean it to be that way.

Of course coming from the mind of someone who probably went into psychosis it wasn't easy for me to maintain any level of sanity without exposing everything I was thinking to as many people as possible. That was my bravery to save myself when I was afraid of trusting anything or anyone. It worked, but, maybe I was too honest. And while being too honest it looks like some of what I was saying was delusional. So even then some of the honesty was incorrect. I wish I could recover the convos.. I feel like that would be more fair than calling someone a psychopath, without them being there to say anything back.

You can see the manic side to my writing when it all started. That was because of the magic. The real stuff that happened that was out of this world predated, a lot of the trauma that pushed it into paranoia. Then all bets are off on how accurate my perception was except certain instances like when I pulled out the wifi antenna and then made posts on ATS. That I just can't comprehend. But some of the other stuff I may have assigned blame where none should have gone.. MAYBE.. Maybe I'm being too hard on myself.

Does that make sense?


You guys always bring out the woo in me. This time it's peeple's fault lol.

I'll be back later, time to reward myself for the deep contemplation of my own psychology that was not at all comfortable.




ETA: Easter egg Freudian slip? I just had to edit the word from properly to probably which is what I intended to write hahahaha.. How's that for honesty? (I never use autocorrect so I had to have actually typed that out)

a reply to: Reverbs

Its okay. You believed it back then and maybe you still do. You don't have to explain yourself. Don't ever apologize for being honest and interpreting things the way they happened. It's true to you back then as much as it is now, I think.

Sometimes your perception is perfect and sometimes it's not, but it's always true to YOU.

How does one properly go into psychosis?

a reply to: Reverbs

I constantly go through old posts. I learn so much about myself that way.

Though, I do have an annoying (to others, I enjoy it ) habit of saying things just to see someones reaction. So very many think that, to talk about something in a certain way, one must hold that perspective as truth. Actually, over time, I've become convinced that some (most?) are genuinely incapable of exploring viewpoints other than the ones they currently hold.

Maybe its trainable? Its exceedingly valuable and powerful to actually make an attempt to see things even slightly differently than we do. All that said, currently I'm constantly tempted to start supporting Flat Earth. The debunkers take themselves hilariously seriously!

"Crazy" is a really ambiguous topic. Get a large enough group to believe the same thing, no matter how "objectively" insane, and it becomes not just acceptable, but the standard of sanity. The scary component of that is that actual "sanity" is then viewed as nuts.

Really, with the exception of something like schizophrenia or multiple personalities (perhaps even then), we determine what is sane or insane mostly on how many people hold the same view. Its really kind of terrifying, especially since this can be intentionally manipulated (which IMO, is what we have seen happen with the modern left).

In some circles, this was modified to use functionality as a determination. Meaning, mostly irrespective of social dynamics, "crazy" is best defined by the inability to function in everyday life due to neurology and psychology. Personally, I'm not convinced a social aspect is particularly relevant at all, despite the fact that the vast majority of people use it as the *only* factor.

Basically, if you aren't an active, accepted member of a common tribe, you are crazy. If you are different, you are crazy. Our Cultural Story is filled with plenty of such detrimental nonsense.

As for putting up with you.. personally speaking, we've been talking for years. I see you a bit like family. In that, its not really a thought to not "put up with you." Never even considered it, really.

FWIW, I'm always here if you need me. Countless wrenches have been intentionally and maliciously thrown in the works, but some gears are still turning A shadow of my former self, so to speak, but there's still more there than many, I think.

a reply to: Reverbs


thanks guys.
Actually thinking about it you are two of my longer standing online relationships. Its funny how we ended up here today. Our little corner of the web.

Serdgiam I do the same thing and it confuses people to no end. One whole year all I watched for news was fox news, and I argued from that vantage point. I didnt believe it, but it was an experiment for myself. I made a thread about Trump that I never followed up on because Trump made it redundant.. it was supposed to be a lie detector thread disguised as a trump is cool thread. I quickly lost interest.

don't you dare with the flat earth lol. My perception is that people want something new to explore and the globe has them trapped, but beyond the ice wall the government wont let you get too?? And WHY havnt we gone "back" to the moon, HMM!!??? religion is also a factor.. I see the appeal.

and to the rest just yea.
modern left is the best example of a cult Ive seen in many years, so much so they call for everything they were against, because now the ends are far superier and any means necessary are cool, like calling for assassinations (not fully realized, but fantasized with real words and bravado, a lesser extent example was "punch a nazi")

Ive always been that dude allowed in many tribes, eventhough its always been known I don't care to play by the rules.

and I know you guys are here if I need you, so I posted here what I wanted to share today. I'm glad that I did..

a reply to: Reverbs

Mhm psychosis. That's a very subjective diagnosis. To most psycho-pill-dealers everything they don't understand is psychosis.

Believe in god? Psychotic.
Ancestoral spirits? Psychotic.
The green man? Psychotic.
Higher-self? Psychotic.
Alien abduction? Psychotic.

Of course that doesn't mean sh1t.

Goodnight.

a reply to: Peeple


I'm not a doctor, but I'm just trying to make it make sense.
I can't really, even in that direction.
Besides, I did end up after someone threatening they would do this, getting the heat put on me, tased and drugged..
doctor said nothing wrong with me, well, slightly low sodium.. psychologist came, and said I was fine. But I know for me my paranoia at this point was borderline rabid heyena trapped in a corner.

I didn't mean to go down memory lane today. The things I do to link up memory streams between my friends haha.
well I am skeptical by nature, eventhough my stories are fantastical.

in other words I dont believe myself.


we got a lil side tracked. still great conversation, my bad feelings are about me being egotistical and a know it all and kind of a jackazz.. when I accuse others of the same thing even now.

that was the part that made me feel off today.

anyways.

night mousy.

originally posted by: Mousygretchen
a reply to: Reverbs

Its okay. You believed it back then and maybe you still do. You don't have to explain yourself. Don't ever apologize for being honest and interpreting things the way they happened. It's true to you back then as much as it is now, I think.

Sometimes your perception is perfect and sometimes it's not, but it's always true to YOU.


How does one properly go into psychosis?

the Bri'ish usage of propar..
as in that cvnt is propar stoned.

sorwy, my mind is just crea'ive like thaut.

that bloke is proper psychotic.

well, hes full on init he?

It gave me a bit of a laugh.



telling the truth sets you free more totally than finding the truth.

originally posted by: Peeple
a reply to: Reverbs

Mhm psychosis. That's a very subjective diagnosis. To most psycho-pill-dealers everything they don't understand is psychosis.

Believe in god? Psychotic.
Ancestoral spirits? Psychotic.
The green man? Psychotic.
Higher-self? Psychotic.
Alien abduction? Psychotic.

Of course that doesn't mean sh1t.

a reply to: Reverbs

a reply to: Reverbs

a reply to: Reverbs

Are you okay, BB? I'm a bit worried I pushed you over the edge...

a reply to: Peeple


I was too honest, and got embarrassed, in the past and now. What I said embarrasses me, but it's true so I guess it's ok.

I'm fine lol..

the same as always.

What worries you?

Your talk of Hamburg or Berlin on mayday?
my bad jokes?

we don't think the same, so awkwardness will happen..

a reply to: Reverbs

I don't want you to feel embarrassed, why would you be? I value you, your experience, your opinion way too much. Because we think different I assume.
I need you. I love you. Brother.
Let's keep on trying to figure this out.

a reply to: Peeple

Have you ever heard me say I am embarrassed to be human?
It's even worse when I say the parts of me that are totally human.
and worse still the parts of my humanness that are hypocritical and cringy.

I usually live in my mind, or my doings..

My honesty makes it less harsh for me(because I'm always like that), but it's still a bit like watching a home video.


AND..

Me trying to figure out and explaining my own psychology IS trying to figure this out as a subjective human being.
I have to have the best telescope for viewing the stars. If it's out of focus due to personal bias, then, my ghost and alien stories are less useable to an overal theme.

Flashy, flashy twinkles
Peach ice cream with sprinkles

Shake it thrice
Make it nice

Flashy,flashy twinkles

The isolation tank was developed in 1954 by John C. Lilly, a medical practitioner and neuropsychiatrist. During his training in psychoanalysis at the US National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH), Lilly experimented with sensory deprivation. After 10 years of experimentation without taking any psychoactive substances, he tried floating in combination with a psychedelic agent, mostly T&C-25.

Wikipedia - Isolation Tank.

Look our old friends! Lilly and NIMH! Our Universe-25 and Disney's The Secrete of NIMH. Funny how T&C-25 keeps circling around. It is the NIMH that is interesting. Mental health created a Mouse Utopia, and sensory deprivation tanks; then T&C-25 keeps showing. It was none other than Tim Leary who found a sepsis suffering John C. Lilly (his breast implants became infected) in his hotel. Walt Disney is another famous tripper! The idea for the movie Fantasia came from one noted incident of ingestion.

A drug free version, floating in a tank of water about shin deep water salted with 2,000 pounds of Epsom salts, no lights, no sounds, and a heat controlled area unplugs you from you. The extended brain is truncated down. With no stimulation and nothing to drive attention, that attention focused self turns somewhere else.

What if that "somewhere else" is Universe? With all the unseen dimensions? Sending out feelers, like the "flesh interfaces" of 9mother9horse9eyes9 fame? Which stars our famous chemical friend T&C-25!!

Anyway, it looks like Wikipedia has updated its Isolation Tank entry to include Aaron Traywick found free floating face down in a tank. I re-read the article and saw these tendrils. Had to share!

a reply to: TEOTWAWKIAIFF

I love that movie..

I never made the connection.

it follows with what me and peeps were discussing on mushrooms

a reply to: TEOTWAWKIAIFF

I would be afraid that if I tried that my inner dialogue would go crazy. Or I would fall asleep.

Actually I think the salt water tank would be the ultimate sleep container. Better than any mattress.