Loneliness Might Be A Bigger Health Risk Than Smoking Or Obesity

a reply to: knowledgehunter0986

We do have a culture lacking in communal bonds and a sense of belonging. Personal finances seem to rule your sense of belonging to the community and that needs to and probably will change.

a reply to: knowledgehunter0986

Maybe 'loneliness' will be the new behavioral disorder they start diagnosing kindergartners with.

a reply to: NarcolepticBuddha

To be fair, I doubt kindergarten kids understand what loneliness is. I think there's a big difference in feeling lonely and wanting attention.

Like I said in my opening post.

You can have it all and still be lonely.

Or can have nothing and not feel lonely.

a reply to: toysforadults

I am really torn by this post.

The study is from a meta-analysis. That is, its using mathematics to add things together that maybe really should not be added. Its called p-hacking. or data diving.

The fact of the matter is that we all owe a death but some reason, public health no longer allows us to just die...of old age or anything else. Our death has to be caused because we used to smoke and drink in college (50 or 60 years before our actual death) or we didn't eat right (whatever that means now a days) or we didn't join in on the exercise program down at the local rec centre.

Imagine all the lives that could be "saved" if we just gave them money to let them tell us our to live forever, Answer: None, we are all going to die anyway.

Imagine all the money that could be saved if we just accepted that the average lifespan is 80 years or so and nothing much will change that.

Middle class white men all work too hard striving to provide and protect their families. They have been dying young for generations.

a reply to: knowledgehunter0986

Gotta remember to use these when I'm joshin'

I thought the joke stood out though.

a reply to: NarcolepticBuddha

No, I knew

Just thought it was a good opportunity to elaborate further my point.

Ok one thing about this thread I think might be leading to some of the miscommunications:

We probably don't all have the same definitions and distinctions for 'alone' vs. 'lonely.'

a reply to: NarcolepticBuddha

In my opinion, 'loneliness' derives from a vacant space within yourself. Usually those that are constantly searching to fill that void through many means, like validation or material things. The problem with that is, material and superficial things will never fill that void.

That's why I say it starts and ends with you. Once you find yourself and know who you are and what you stand for, that void is filled and you never feel the need to search for 'something' and in return, never feel 'lonely'

'Alone' is being by yourself, and has no relation to 'Loneliness'

Mr personally I thrive when I'm alone, and love it. I never feel lonely because I'm never searching to fill some void.

It probably depends on the circumstances, or your own personal desires.

It was said that Ta Mo went to meditate in a cave, alone, for 9 or so years. In that time he developed the classics of muscle change the basis of Shaolin kung-fu.

Nikola Tesla was someone we might regard as being lonely, but he achieved great things.

Some people deliberately choose to be alone because external influences are a distraction, and they go on to do amazing things.

There is a positive type of loneliness, or isolation, that can be beneficial. If it's desired, and with a means to an end, then it's probably more healthy than what we might call a regular, active social life.

On the flip side, some people are lonely not by choice, but because it's all they have or have ever known. They have nobody.

I have plenty of friends and family, but I often opt to be alone because I have things to do that require a certain level of dedication.

I learnt at quite an early age that in order to be truly productive, to really put 100% of yourself into something that you need to make sacrifices - one of the hardest sacrifices for people to make, particularly young people in the modern day, is the give up their social life, to chose - say, study over play.

I worry about my nephew, though...his is an anti-social type of self-inflicted loneliness where all of his friends are online gamers. His life is about isolation in the physical realm in lieu of an active online and gaming life, which isn't healthy.

So, in summary: loneliness can be healthy if it's self-inflicted and has some purpose for the individual choosing it, it can be of a huge benefit even in terms of health as the greatest athletes and minds often must make sacrifices. It can be bad if it's not the intention, but simply a byproduct of poor decision making or interests.

In my early social years, saloon society, musician, respected and very successful... never felt comfortable and very lonely.

Alcoholism and drug abuse sucks all the soul, ability to feel compassion and establish a "real" relationship with even those you claim to love, out of you.

I was born a alcoholic and it took years and years to kick that disease and rejoin the human race.

It's much more complex than BS psychobable can explain.

www.pnas.org...

www.sciencedirect.com...

www.sciencedirect.com...

originally posted by: NarcolepticBuddha
Ok one thing about this thread I think might be leading to some of the miscommunications:

We probably don't all have the same definitions and distinctions for 'alone' vs. 'lonely.'

Exactly what I was thinking after reading the first post in the thread. I like being alone/independent, but I'm not lonely. But my lifestyle would send some people into deep depression. "Loneliness" is relative for each of us.

I'm never lonely.

There are others here.

Some are nice.

Some are....well I shouldn't say because they ask me to do bad things.

I tell them no but they get mad.

Most of the voic......people are nice.

a reply to: knowledgehunter0986

In my opinion, 'loneliness' derives from a vacant space within yourself.

What if that void is another human being?

I used to feel very lonely in the world, took some time but I eventually came to be very comfortable with who I am as a person... Now I rarely feel lonely even though I am spending more time alone with my dogs and cats than I ever have before in my life.

The wrapping kids in bubble wrap is stunting their emotional growth, couple that with the societal need to fix everything with a pill and people are not finishing that growth into adult hood... add in the social media garbage and fake validation through it and you are compounding the problem, then once they are out of school and reality smacks them in the face it can start a spiral downward.

Least thats my pop psychology opinion.

a reply to: toysforadults

Good question.

But I don't think you should ever rely on a human to fill a void. Your partner should compliment you and together you create something bigger.

What happens if the person leaves you?

I think it's a different dynamic and more about need of companionship than being lonely. Because like I said you can have everything and still be lonely.

But what do I know.

originally posted by: knowledgehunter0986
a reply to: toysforadults

Only if you are an entitled spoiled brat.

Or are very weak mentally.

Social media and society plays a huge role in determining that.

Some people can be amongst friends and still feel lonely.

Some people can have anything they want and still feel lonely.

Some people can be alone and never feel lonely.

Some people thrive by themselves.


It all starts with you.


And ends with a you.

I wish I could hug you..

a reply to: luciferslight

In like a sympathetic I feel sorry for you type of way?

Or like "aww" you're cute kind of way?

Or that really resonated and i want to give you a hug type of way?

a reply to: toysforadults

People that own pets tend to live longer, I guess those that feel lonely will benefit from becoming a pet owner.

And why is the study only on male whites.

originally posted by: marg6043
a reply to: toysforadults

People that own pets tend to live longer, I guess those that feel lonely will benefit from becoming a pet owner.

And why is the study only on male whites.

Just a guess...

White males accounted for 7 of 10 suicides in 2015

suicide statistics

I was curious as well when I saw your comment so my first thought was to check suicide statistics... that usually drives some studies I think.

I have known people, related to some actually, who can't stand to be alone. We're talking about people who have to have 150 contacts in their phone and continuously be in a relationship with someone to feel like a person. That's the only life they know, and they frankly don't understand anyone who isn't like that.

I suspect for someone like that, being alone or "lonely" is very taxing. Myself, I have always felt ill at ease around people, even relatives, so, being alone is my preferred station in life more often than not.

I guess it really just depends on the individual.

In regards to the study, what it states has been said for decades. It's not anything new...