It took seven Months... but I finally fell off the wagon.

a reply to: Hazardous1408

Relapsing is part of the process. The quitter gives up quitting, the winner keeps trying. So you relapsed, par for the course.

a reply to: Hazardous1408

I've given my advice, so I'll bow out, just hope you go the docs or therapist first thing. You have good options to help you refocus.
Z

a reply to: Hazardous1408

I never cry lol.

Well, here you are... pretty much telling us sources of pain. Good for you! Now, my next response you may not like.

I can understand you may be a man, and with that comes the pride of being able to hold back tears, but crying is an awesome part of emotions that should almost be experienced daily. I am a man, yet I sincerely got emotional when you started this thread... a tear or 2 falling is just an after effect of living through normal human emotions.

I am going to attach a short speech that best explains what I mean. I used to stay bold and strong just like you... now I see the greatest strengths in men who sob with no care to who else views tears.

originally posted by: ttobban
a reply to: Groot

Don't let Uncle Sam control your relationship with Mary Jane now... that's letting the establishment win my friend.

If employers wish to stay leeching to the establishment and avoid hiring people that consume plants, than its that particular employers burden to behold by passing on employing pot smokers. I have no problems straight telling a possible employer that I consume marijuana... in the interview. No need to waste money on a test that I don't plan to pass.

We have to create the environments of which we feel comfortable. I'd probably resort back to a routine of heavy drinking too if I was foregoing my natural choices of coping to appease the financial growth of a business.

As an employer, I personally want to hire pot heads... its almost mandatory to work with me.

I know, but I am into almost 30 years in my career with 5 years to go till retirement. . The occasional toke is ok.

At 52 years old, I I'm doing ok.

a reply to: ttobban

I was just saying that to sound tough to Zazz who was ragging me...

I literally cried last month on the 15th. Personal reasons, but yeah.
I shed tears now and then.

originally posted by: Hazardous1408
I wouldn't say I'm sad about it...
Or angry... nor happy either...

But I guess that's cos I'm half drunk on Vodka.

I guess, knowing myself, 7 months was a hell of a milestone to reach...

& they say all good things come to an end... thankfully my bottle of Vodka is still more than half full.
So the good doesn't come to an end for a while.

a reply to: Hazardous1408

Good deal... well, we know the emotional ticker is still working... that's a good thing! Whether be for reasons of joy or sadness, emotion should be moved to the point of tears.

The worry stems from when the emotions disappear... if they are not visited, the vessel your spirit is in is no longer is its true self.

a reply to: Hazardous1408

People cry, it's that simple. I've seen big badass tough dudes sob like babies and no good woman will judge a man for showing emotion.

I`m certainly not trying to go against zazz`s advice, but I have personal experience helping two different people with issues...one was addiction, the other a 10-year eating disorder...so this is just from my own perspective.
For each person I spent about a year actively supporting them (many years emotionally supporting them until they were ready to make changes)...going to meetings, support groups, doctor`s appointments, etc.

The one thing that I had to be careful with was guilt. I was aware that they were already struggling with a ton of guilt in their own minds, so I never used guilt as a tactic against them.
There were a couple of relapses but eventually there were a few years of success, and each of them have gone on to adapt exercise and healthier options for coping with problems now.

I often stressed about saying the wrong thing but found that gently loving them regardless had the most positive effect.
The only thing I will say is that you `bounce back`from things better when you`re younger...so show me your bounce!
jacy

a reply to: Hazardous1408

High Haz

7 months was a great milestone, dont beat your self up, try not to finish the rest of the vodka. I was told that when you relapse you pick up where you left off. ie I stopped at on stage when I drank 1 bottle of Jack Daniels in 1 day.
Went through withdrawals and was drying out for about 2 weeks. I then started again and crashed with 2 bottles of Jacks over 1 1/2 days. Went in to rehab and then realized I had to do some sort of AA programme.

That was 26 years ago. I have fallen off the wagon once or twice, but have support there to help me...
I dont want to have to ever wake up and need a drink before breakfast even again.
The mind plays tricks on us -

I honestly wish you all the love and strength for what you're going through. Even if you can pick up the phone and get some phone help would be great...

a reply to: jacygirl

People cry, it's that simple. I've seen big badass tough dudes sob like babies and no good woman will judge a man for showing emotion.

So true.
From one big , badass dude...

a reply to: Hazardous1408

Do not beat yourself up over hitting the bottle for one day , i just went 6 months without being drunk ,which was a major milestone as i used to be drunk 200+ days per year .

Now i know that i can do it if i want , I control it now not it controlling me which was what happened most of my adult life , once a month i will buy 1 beer as a reward but just 1 beer but in Feb i fell of the wagon but gently i bought a liter of spirits and drank the lot as per usual with me , 2 hands and i mouth but for the next few days i felt terrible and thought stuff this .

I will keep fighting this and try and beat my six month record ,But stress is what drives me to drink and i get plenty of that from friends & family good luck Hazardous on the journey of self discovery

What do you call "falling off the wagon" ? One time of drinking in 7 months ? I have been "on the wagon" for 30 years , but I still enjoy my "falling of the wagon" every now and then. Celebrations , just because.. , bad times , etc. (mostly self-proclaimed holidays)
But , that is equivalent to about once or twice a year.
Peace to you

a reply to: Hazardous1408

You haven't lost any merit in my eyes. You know what you need to do. I have faith in you that you will.

a reply to: Gothmog

What do you call "falling off the wagon" ?

Profound.
I suppose we would all have a different answer to that, Goth.

See me myself, I used to sneak drink into work, I'd drink from the moment I woke up to the moment I went to bed...
Sometimes waking up just to drink a little more...

At one point, I was drinking a bottle a day.
Just to cope.

7 months was a decent run, but I do realise others like yourself have done decades.

I think it'll take me a while to manage that.

originally posted by: Hazardous1408
a reply to: Gothmog

What do you call "falling off the wagon" ?

Profound.
I suppose we would all have a different answer to that, Goth.

See me myself, I used to sneak drink into work, I'd drink from the moment I woke up to the moment I went to bed...
Sometimes waking up just to drink a little more...

At one point, I was drinking a bottle a day.
Just to cope.

7 months was a decent run, but I do realise others like yourself have done decades.

I think it'll take me a while to manage that.

One time does not a catastrophe make....
See , before that 30 years if I was awake I was drinking. And sometimes sleepdrinking (like sleepwalking)
Peace to you

According to your title, it was inevitable. You won't ever stop drinking for good going into it like that man. I hope you get it figured out.

a reply to: sputniksteve

Title wise, I was trying to make a tough subject jovial.

But it didn't seem inevitable until I actually did it.

I hope you get it figured out.

Thanks Steve.

a reply to: Hazardous1408

Seems like the good to come of you being drunk now, is that you're spending this long thought after moment with us at ATS. I always prefer the struggling honest friends to those that think they have their crap together and are better than the Jones'.

If volume of alcohol is part of the battle, then do like Bob Wiley in 'What About Bob', and take baby steps.

If you find yourself sober and reaching for the bottle in the future, just take one shot and put it away... challenge yourself and your will power. Control is what we're looking for... not so much perfection.

You must love us, because there'd be no way in hell I could spend time on ATS a half a bottle in. I'll check back with your thread in sober times.

I'm a complete teetolaler if that's the word, I've got this horrid inability to handle more than two drinks without feeling miserable, it's something I've already figured out along time ago, me..consigned to this, oh well. My friends and I have even laughed about it as well, it's a little awkward and hard to manage but you can't win em all!

But anyways I have noticed others, and don't want to come across as THAT out of touch, even if I feel I can't offer any advice, or anything beyond saying just "cheer up!" From what I've seen of my friends there are people who just drink as a matter of habit or because they are used to it, and then they move on and find some form of mindless entertainment, I guess you can call them..."the rest of the world." Then there are those that the bottle hits a bit hard, as well as the bad times that come thereafter. I do wish you well and wish there was I could offer you hope. Oh well. Cheer up

Greetings,

There is a technology available that is effective for about 80% of the population with addiction problems.

It is safe, non intrusive and takes about 40 min a session, max 3 times a day, well spaced intervals.

Number of sessions required can vary from one to several weeks, MAX TREATMENT TIME 40 min.

There was a serious try to get this treatment into various treatment facilities but was rejected because there was no profit or return of clients. I have tried and have run into the same problem. Seems no one cares about healing other than their pocket book.

So, for what it is worth: search: bob beck, 111 hz . www.megabrainpower.com/braintuner.htm

I used this method on my wife who had withdraw symptoms after stopping pain pills because of a double hip replacement.
I did not use this device but a Rife freq. generator in which I entered the 111 hz freq. 40 min later no more withdraw symptoms. I did purchase the mega brain power unit for lending to people who want to stop any addition.

The best of life to you,

Regards, GeorgeH

There is no relapse after the treatment.