Explain This Term Women Use.....

originally posted by: hopenotfeariswhatweneed
a reply to: Blue_Jay33

I'm going with number 3, if the bedroom antics are not up to standard there is a big chance she will be looking elsewhere.

Of course there are lots of factors but 3 is often a deal breaker.

You just confirmed something I said to my ex just the other night.

There is no such thing as true love in this world anymore.... you either have to be rich, a stud, or a fantasy.

This world makes me regurgitate bile. there is far more to intimacy than wham bam thank ya, maam. god I fear for the future...

Who cares? Move on and find another one you don't have to play guessing games with.

originally posted by: berenike

originally posted by: Blue_Jay33
Maybe her saying "he is not my type" is a way of not saying what she really feels about him, so she doesn't appear shallow or vain to people.
.

Or possibly a way to avoid hurting his feelings.

This again, is why I think this world is doomed.

HONESTY is always the only option. What may fall will fall regardless, but lies and deception? Never win anyone, and nor are they good options to dissuade someone.

I think they need to start teaching honesty 101 in school... because life lessons are not teaching squat.

originally posted by: savemebarry

You just confirmed something I said to my ex just the other night.

There is no such thing as true love in this world anymore.... you either have to be rich, a stud, or a fantasy.

This world makes me regurgitate bile. there is far more to intimacy than wham bam thank ya, maam. god I fear for the future...

so you are not part of that problem right?

And if you are not, then it's likely someone you are attracted to is also not.

I am not any of those 3 things you mentioned.

I make sometimes 17,000 in a year. I'm not great looking.. I'm definitely not some weird fantasy.. (most of the time )

I'm a sweet heart who stands up for people.

Just being a good dude is hot to women or girls who like that. And part of being a good dude is standing up for other people.
You don't have to be a confident prick.. You could just have a circle of friends who respect your thoughts.


Don't blame your troubles on other people is probably the most succinct best way to say it.


I have my own brand of super sexy hotness.. And only the girls I want to be with can see it.

originally posted by: SaturnFX
The thing most women value most of all in men is self confidence.

Fake it until you believe it..

Dont take self confidence to mean boistiorous or conceited..just think of it as extremely comfortable in who you are and not caring if people accept you..because you accept and are proud of who you are..now project that outward and be okay to be excited about things that interest you when discussing..

If you are a closet whovian for example, dont admit embarassingly you sort of enjoy it if it comes up, instead, talk about how awesome the silence as a enemy is, and how ironic they are used as a priest, etc..be proud of your weird..because they are weird also

DO NOT TAKE THIS ADVICE.

I talked about who so much, she shut off. and the new guy with her now, has a friggen tardis as a profile pic on FB.

I also take exception to the term whovian. You damn Americans cannot steal our telly and make a club out of it..

Signed,


( ps: I hear chicks love a guy who can sign his name in Gallifreyan *nerdy chuckling* )

originally posted by: Nickn3

originally posted by: IkNOwSTuff
Id say trying to understand or make sense of anything women say to be an exercise in futility.

Theyre fricken awesome and I couldnt imagine life without them but they are all bat shyte crazy and for the most part illogical.

I think the most fun ones are a little bit crazy. Like a 7 hot and a 3 crazy makes for the perfect 10.

10/10 divorce rate if those qualities are the only criteria.

And hey, we see old people laying on their death beds together, still in an embrace. Won't see that in 60+ years, I guarantee that.

a reply to: savemebarry

Yup morals and loyalty are like a thing of the past, with the on set of online dating the amount of choice available to people has changed things somewhat dramatically. Just look at tinder and all the # sites out there.



I wouldn't worry about the future much im sure we will wipe ourselves off this planet in the near future the way we are going.

originally posted by: hopenotfeariswhatweneed
a reply to: savemebarry

Yup morals and loyalty are like a thing of the past, with the on set of online dating the amount of choice available to people has changed things somewhat dramatically. Just look at tinder and all the # sites out there.



I wouldn't worry about the future much im sure we will wipe ourselves off this planet in the near future the way we are going.

you don't need a relationship with one person, because you already gave up your relationship with humanity.

a reply to: Reverbs

Well, to be honest... People used to come to me all the time for advice on their own problems. I was always an open ear, a shoulder. But I never put myself out there for people to come to. Never. I helped more than one relationship with others, by reminding them that their fears are not always what the other partner is feeling. And I was right, most of the time. In fact one woman came to me about her relationship with someone she hadn't seen for 26 years, they were childhood sweethearts, and they found each other again. She became scared when he stopped replying to her when he had to go away for work for a few weeks. I told her to not overthink it, perhaps he is just worried about something, don't let it take away what they have.. she spoke to him again and told me I was right, he was a little scared, and he didn't mean to worry her... they've been together since, 5 years later.

I had sworn myself off ever letting my heart fall for another ever again, but I had women who were good friends, see that I gave more of myself than I took from others.

How did that work out for me?

2 relationships where it was sweet and perfect, but then the dishonesty and lies come up. The talking to others intimately, because the "bad boy" is so alluring, cheating, yet never being honest about their true feelings.

It's MY fault also you say? no, we live in a world where people just want a root, but oh the comfort of a shoulder is nice also, so lets not say anything because I like talking with you, but I also like mudding with the guy who doesn't even have two eyes.

blah.

a reply to: savemebarry

I didn't say it was your fault.



but don't try and put your morals on other people.

You can find the woman that is right up your alley.

For me I always know.

originally posted by: hopenotfeariswhatweneed
a reply to: savemebarry

Yup morals and loyalty are like a thing of the past, with the on set of online dating the amount of choice available to people has changed things somewhat dramatically. Just look at tinder and all the # sites out there.



I wouldn't worry about the future much im sure we will wipe ourselves off this planet in the near future the way we are going.

That is my plan, at least !! *raises glass* Air do shlàinte!!

originally posted by: Reverbs

originally posted by: hopenotfeariswhatweneed
a reply to: savemebarry

Yup morals and loyalty are like a thing of the past, with the on set of online dating the amount of choice available to people has changed things somewhat dramatically. Just look at tinder and all the # sites out there.



I wouldn't worry about the future much im sure we will wipe ourselves off this planet in the near future the way we are going.

you don't need a relationship with one person, because you already gave up your relationship with humanity.

I don't know about them, but I sure have.

As per my last reply to you, note I started it with "I used to be..."

Now people who take take and lie, can find god or something. And the guy who used to drink so much and ask me how I remained sober, while he left his family for another woman causing so much chaos to so many... I doubt he'd be here had it not been for the solace I provided when everyone turned on him.

** to him: you go kdog. and tell your missus what a hypocrite she is for how she treated her best friend, over me.

karma I suppose, but who needs humanity anyway.

originally posted by: Reverbs
a reply to: savemebarry

I didn't say it was your fault.

but don't try and put your morals on other people.

You can find the woman that is right up your alley.

For me I always know.

But you said that the last one you felt this way about will be hard to top.

So you didn't really know, because forever is not a limited thing...

when you get to my age, and see how many times you felt you knew but it is now another life ago, and you look at why it failed every time... some say it has to be me. I sure do. because I don't seem to be the love them and leave them type.

I give myself completely. Yet I'm always the one fighting while they find someone new to play with.

and I refuse to be that any more.

originally posted by: Reverbs

originally posted by: hopenotfeariswhatweneed
a reply to: savemebarry

Yup morals and loyalty are like a thing of the past, with the on set of online dating the amount of choice available to people has changed things somewhat dramatically. Just look at tinder and all the # sites out there.



I wouldn't worry about the future much im sure we will wipe ourselves off this planet in the near future the way we are going.

you don't need a relationship with one person, because you already gave up your relationship with humanity.

Sadly humanity has lost what it is to be human,i haven't given up the relationship, i have simply lost faith .

originally posted by: savemebarry

But you said that the last one you felt this way about will be hard to top.

So you didn't really know, because forever is not a limited thing...

when you get to my age, and see how many times you felt you knew but it is now another life ago, and you look at why it failed every time... some say it has to be me. I sure do. because I don't seem to be the love them and leave them type.

I give myself completely. Yet I'm always the one fighting while they find someone new to play with.

and I refuse to be that any more.

We all have different experiences.

You don't trust humanity anymore so why should a girl trust you in a relationship?

giving yourself completely means little if the relationship is not working on the oter end.

I'm not sure how old you think I am.. I'm no expert, lol..
I just know really well if I can make something work.
my first relationship was 5 years.
We still talk all the time.

It's true my last one is hard to top.
it doesn't mean I need to top it.
relationships are not supposed to be drugs.
That's what people forget.

originally posted by: hopenotfeariswhatweneed





Sadly humanity has lost what it is to be human,i haven't given up the relationship, i have simply lost faith .

That is not true.

There is humanity shaping mind control going on, but if you think everyone falls for it you are wrong.

I know what it is to be human.

So does everyone I'm friends with.

I live in an area that is much more intelligent than most areas but I can't think for one second it's the only place where people care about each other.

Why try to dissect every relationship? They are all different.

As an oldster, it really is so simple: The heart wants what the heart wants.

I have always found the most attractive thing about a guy is if he is interested in me then it's just a fun relationship-it's the ride-the excitement of not knowing where it leads-each step either moves forward or not. The longing to be together increases or wanes.

Either the other person brings deep joy or chaos. Not every relationship is going to end well. Dealing with unrequited love is a universal commonality and you will survive.

If love feels perfect; you're wrong; it never is. It's the honest give and take and alot of forgiveness and experiences that can make it your particular "perfect."

Keep your heart open but guard it with your life. If something shows up that is particularly disturbing-run. Trust me me-they'll be another. Life's a journey.

a reply to: Reverbs

I surround myself with people i love and love me, like minded people and i am lucky to live in a really alternative community, the people here are for the most part great, most of Australia is full of rednecks, this part of it not so much.I am not saying people do not love each other and care for each other. My best mate has been married for 22 years now, has 3 kids and his relationship with his wife is still fantastic, in fact it gets better for them.


Im talking more from a point of view that looks more broadly at where we are headed as a whole, i will use the 3 and half billion people living in the third world who have no clean water, or healthy food to eat as one example and there are many many more, the list would just go on and on (well not in this thread).

Humanity turns a blind eye to much evil and that is what i am not comfortable being a part of. We have very comfortable lives here in the west thanks to the plundering of the third world.

So yeah sorry going off topic just trying to explain where i was coming from

originally posted by: savemebarry

originally posted by: berenike

originally posted by: Blue_Jay33
Maybe her saying "he is not my type" is a way of not saying what she really feels about him, so she doesn't appear shallow or vain to people.
.

Or possibly a way to avoid hurting his feelings.

This again, is why I think this world is doomed.

HONESTY is always the only option. What may fall will fall regardless, but lies and deception? Never win anyone, and nor are they good options to dissuade someone.

I think they need to start teaching honesty 101 in school... because life lessons are not teaching squat.

What circumstances would you recommend for this honesty?

When the man and woman are in a roomful of people who will be able to hear all the reasons she doesn't care much for him?

Or when they're alone and there's no-one to hear her scream?

Why is it so wrong for a person to try and act kindly towards someone who has shown an unreciprocated interest in them?

Who would want to reject another person so thoroughly that it scars them for life and maybe lose all confidence in finding a mate? And all in the name of honesty?

a reply to: Blue_Jay33

OP you are overthinking this. What most women mean is nothing on your list [which is a typical male viewpoint - all about their shortcomings rather than her inner workings].
It means exactly what the words say. Someone is not our 'type', when despite their looks, money or whatever, they do not elicit a spark, nor would we be able to see ourselves getting on with them in a relationship.
This is probably down to character differences or some mystical 'inner feeling'. They can be friends but they just don't 'do it' for us.
This doesn't mean that the male is useless, it just means he isn't the right lid to the pot he has his eyes on.

Women are humans too and have to feel something to be with a person [hit it off].

Having said that:

One good thing is that there is a small chance of changing the woman's mind with consistancy and stability, despite her rejections. [Not too creepy or too much though]. My granddad was rejected by my gran for a long time but being there and staying consistent despite her saying 'no' to marriage, she actually fell in love with him in the end and they were married for over 40 years.

I guess if the woman was abused, she's like a scared animal, she will reject everyone apart from those that fit her inner belief in men [if they think all men are abusive, they may as well go with one that is open about it rather than fall in love with a nice person who changes into a monster later]. That's why you see them going with the same bad ones over and over again.
However deep down they want stability and safety and when there is a male like that around, I guess they will test their limits [always expecting them to revert to violence or insults, so they can say "see I knew all men are like that"].
Rejecting a 'good' one is kind of testing their motives [are they only nice in order to go bad later on?].

Walking away from all the 'tests' will justify her suspicions that they were just like the others! Therefore being there and slowly gaining the woman's trust in men back is hard. But men need to understand the reasons behind it from the woman's point of view instead of only looking at themselves.

It's not about you[!!!!!], so stop whining [how self absorbed and how little self confidence].
Not many seem to see it from our side, looking at some comments on here, calling women crazy and weird. Try and engage your brains men, we are human just like you.