Explain This Term Women Use.....

a reply to: Blue_Jay33

Oh, the term, lol. It means there is no chemistry.

Maybe her saying "he is not my type" is a way of not saying what she really feels about him, so she doesn't appear shallow or vain to people.

Yeah no chemistry is a big one, I have had women interested in me that are attractive, yet for some bizarre reason I can't reciprocate, because it's a chemistry thing. They had good jobs, great families, stable and sane, but that special spark just wasn't there. I will add that one.

originally posted by: Blue_Jay33
Maybe her saying "he is not my type" is a way of not saying what she really feels about him, so she doesn't appear shallow are vain to people.

Yeah no chemistry is big one, I have had women interested in me that are attractive, yet for some bizarre reason I can't reciprocate, because it's a chemistry thing. They had good jobs, great families, stable and sane, but that special spark just wasn't there. I will add that one.

and the girl wondered why you friendzoned her, and made a 5 point list on ATS..

put the shoe on the other foot and you are done.

originally posted by: Blue_Jay33
Maybe her saying "he is not my type" is a way of not saying what she really feels about him, so she doesn't appear shallow or vain to people.
.

Or possibly a way to avoid hurting his feelings.

Some men can be very persistent and don't like it if a woman doesn't fancy them. Words like 'bitch' or 'frigid' might get flung about.

A woman could be in a very precarious position and just looking to save face for the guy. 'Well, you did it for my friend. What's wrong with me?'

What's she to say to that?

a reply to: berenike

well be nice or be mean but he's not going to like the answer.

and this is part of it. That guys more often than not feel rejection because they are more often than not going out on a limb..

And male ego is tied to the whole thing so you want to save face... but when a girl does the save face thing in general guys know, so it gets tricky..

For me I just freaking KNOW if there is something there.. this last girl was such a perfect match chemistry wise that I'm not sure I'll ever top that, but it's a mix of qualities that matter.

it doesn't have to be logical either. My heart does it's thing.

there was once I was completely in love with this girl but she didn't feel the same. I understood that's her feelings. I don't own her feelings.

It baffles me though when they personally reject you, but recommend you to their friends, even years later.
I guess that is a true friend zone status.
Relationship chemistry should be simple, but is seems to be more complex in some instances.

originally posted by: reldra
a reply to: IkNOwSTuff

You like the term bat shyte crazy, lol.

The overused and simple minded descriptions of what women supposedly want and why I have seen in this hilarious thread should point to why men have such difficulty with this entire topic.

Case in point

I have no idea what your trying to convey here hahaha

The thing most women value most of all in men is self confidence.

Fake it until you believe it..

Dont take self confidence to mean boistiorous or conceited..just think of it as extremely comfortable in who you are and not caring if people accept you..because you accept and are proud of who you are..now project that outward and be okay to be excited about things that interest you when discussing..

If you are a closet whovian for example, dont admit embarassingly you sort of enjoy it if it comes up, instead, talk about how awesome the silence as a enemy is, and how ironic they are used as a priest, etc..be proud of your weird..because they are weird also

originally posted by: Blue_Jay33
It baffles me though when they personally reject you, but recommend you to their friends, even years later.
I guess that is a true friend zone status.
Relationship chemistry should be simple, but is seems to be more complex in some instances.

why should chemistry between complex beings be simple?
And if someone friend zones you but offers you to her friends , that just means she's not into you but she does respect your qualities. Maybe one of her friends would see what she wants to see and likes what she sees?

I don't like the same girls my friends like.

originally posted by: IkNOwSTuff


Case in point

I have no idea what your trying to convey here hahaha

seems really straight forward to me.

in this hillarious thread (her words) you have guys trying to put their judgments on girls, when the girl is just not that into you.. But now you have all your real reasons why... Because you compiled the list..

So calling women crazy is like saying.. Your views don't matter.

Women are what women are.

And I imagine they don't like all the ways men are either..

You compromise in the middle.

a reply to: Blue_Jay33

But if you're not 'the one' for them it doesn't mean they can't see your qualities.

You'd need to unravel centuries of the notion of romantic love to get anywhere near the answers you're looking for. It's the most illogical thing.

'Hey guys - there's several million people in the world with the potential to be your lifelong mate. BUT don't be practical and choose a person with a compatible background. No, no, no, choose the one who gives you goosebumps. And when it doesn't work out you can spend the rest of your life pining away in misery.'

Yeah right...

If someone can see your potential as a partner for a friend why not accept the offer of an introduction?

a reply to: Reverbs


I totally agree

The compromise is finding a woman whose crazy you can handle without constantly needing to remind her that shes batshyte crazy

a reply to: IkNOwSTuff

well, "crazy" girls are the most fun.
We are just as guilty of anything that women do as they are, it's just different words.
"crazy" is "bad boy"

you can also go find the nice girl who takes care of things, but is it what you want?




I have my own particular brand of girl I like and I know exactly what it is when I see it.
I have no issue turning down anyone I know I can't be fully invested in.

I am perfectly content living single.
For some odd reason women seem to find this attractive.
Not all of them, but enough of them to keep things interesting.
The "friend zone" can be a good place to be.

originally posted by: skunkape23
I am perfectly content living single.
For some odd reason women seem to find this attractive.
Not all of them, but enough of them to keep things interesting.
The "friend zone" can be a good place to be.

I'm friends with so many attractive women.
Well, I live with two. They are my house mates. We look after each other.

I get great advice, and I give good advice.
I love being friends with girls. For one thing, if I have some sort of emotional issue they protect me and help me better than my guy friends do. We have disagreements and then at the end we say I love you. I say that to my guy friends too, but it's different of course.

Women are awesome.
Guys are awesome.

just find the one you like.

oh and being friends with attractive women has it's own effect on other women. Just as an aside. It means in a sort of way that you are a good dude, and also, how did you meet these attractive women? Must be something right? And they wanted you to move in? And there is no sex involved just friendship?

Who is this guy?

originally posted by: Blue_Jay33
She is single and has been burned by cheating bad boys and yet still says this...
"He is a super nice guy, but he is just not my type"

Now it could be a legitimate statement, but what is the woman really saying.

1) He is boring.
2) He is not attractive to her.
3) He is useless in bed.
4) She actually likes bad boys that treat her badly because she is secretly addicted to perpetual drama, but won't admit it to herself or her friends.
5) He is "friend zoned".
6) He is a Beta Male
7) He is not rich enough.
8) No chemistry.

To understand women disregard what they say, and watch what they do instead.

Oh boy i feel sorry for you! Lol focus boy, go to school get a good job in about 4 years you will be the best 1st choice among women aka work on your self. Dont get tatoos, workout ,dont play the bad boy. Dress sharp, take care of your things and build a good group of friends. Dont pay the short game. Play the long game. Also i would advise you to learn how to distance yourself from your wants and objectively pay attention to the women who you want to date. Just because shes a virgin doesnt mean she a saint.

Alot of women look good in their teens, fewer look good in their 20's, fewer in their 30's and it gets smaller and smaller from there.

Here is what you need to look for
A: is her mother still good looking
B: does she workout everyday or a couple times a week
C: how many "guy" friends does she have
D: does she have a good job?
E: how is her relationship with her father?

All these things are important later on.
A: if her mom looks good chances are she will
B: workingout will prolong her good looks
C: no girlfriends=bad idea
D: job is very important if when you get older and want to plan a life together.
E: how she sees her father wow is that important. If she loves her father and they have a food relationship your good. If she hates her father will findout the reasons because thats how she will view all men subconsciously.

originally posted by: [post=21886380]Reverbs


Who is this guy?

Hi Reverbs & Everybody!

"Who is this guy?" That's a very important question to a woman.
Looks and words can be deceiving, and if there is even the slightest feeling of unease with a man, a woman may respond politely by saying he's not her type.
That's one reason. It's certainly not the only one.

To assume that you know the reason(s) behind her response is ridiculous. How can anyone assume that they are correct when making such an assessment? The reasons for a woman saying that are based on her personal experiences and relationships thus far in life. Nobody who jumps to conclusions and assumes they are correct is actually going to be right. Also keep in mind that the man's assessment is also based on every personal experience and relationship that he has previously had. It's complicated.

Women used to be more discerning about who they slept with, some still are. These days it seems that people have sex with strangers and then expect it to become a relationship. Being compatible in the bedroom is important, but so are numerous other issues if you're going to commit to one person.

I believe that it's much better to know the truth of where you stand with someone, and if they don't feel the same way, at least now you know and can move on. I've seen people pine away for someone who doesn't love them back and that's a sad waste of their life (and love).

There are some who always want a person they can't have. Perhaps there is a safety factor involved...if you don't actually HAVE a relationship, you can't get hurt. Commitment issues are real and the reasons behind them are numerous (and personal).

The worst case scenario is the person who gets angry and spiteful (due to rejection) and stalks, bullies, hurts (or even kills) the object of their desire. There are horrific extreme cases that I've read about like a 14-yr. old girl in Pakistan having her face burned with acid for rejecting the marriage offer of a 50-yr. old stranger on the street!

So I guess that is my personal opinion on why "women" use this term...can't comment on why "men" say it, but I'm sure some do. I would advise that anyone stop "assuming" that you know what another person thinks or feels...you don't. (and yes, I'm a raging empath-type, but while I can sense things I'm not a mind-reader, lol)

If somebody tells you "you're not my type" then let it go. Don't ruminate over the why's. Don't believe that this person was "the one" and be hell-bent and determined to prove that. Don't change (unless you want to)...and don't give up.

When I was 3 my parents had a friend who had a big black beard and moustache. He once jumped out from behind a door and scared me, and I've always been a little wary of men who remind me of him. Would anyone ever think that when "assuming" about me? Not likely at all. (not my type though for my own personal reasons)

Sorry this is long, I think my caffeine kicked in!
jacy

originally posted by: IkNOwSTuff
Id say trying to understand or make sense of anything women say to be an exercise in futility.

Theyre fricken awesome and I couldnt imagine life without them but they are all bat shyte crazy and for the most part illogical.

I think the most fun ones are a little bit crazy. Like a 7 hot and a 3 crazy makes for the perfect 10.

a reply to: jacygirl

that was a great read Jacy.

My little sister has a thing about mustaches for a sort of similar reason lol.. And that was when she was 4 I think. I was around 8.. Nothing weird just an uncle or whoever gave a bad first impression by being too loud..

it stuck.

We are unique beings and we need our unique pieces of us to be celebrated..



for me personally I have outgrown most of my baggage in some ways. In other ways my baggage is me.
I know who I'm after if I ever get the chance to meet "her" again.
Mostly the mind thing. If someone can understand my crazy mind and loves it, that's like 80%..
For someone else that may be 25% of the attraction..
I know what I need.