Girlfriend wants to leave me

Okay, I met someone of the kind that one can't believe you're theirs. Obviously with the title I have I'm not her's currently as of the past two days. Looking for advice on any way I could convince her to stay with me. She's saying it's because she's not been giving it her all, but if what she had done over the past couple of months isn't her all, then I want to try to get it instead of lose all of it.

If you need more details to help answer my quest. Feel free to ask, though anything about messages sent between me and her are probably going to have to go through pm if I even feel it's appropriate. Thanks if you can help, don't just say I'm screwed and a looser, the messages between me and here are so freakishly similar to when I dumped my ex fiancée so I already know how bad the situation is.

a reply to: misterhistory


Ummmmmm, plenty of fish in the sea! Go catch some more. You will most likely throw many of them back before you catch the right one!


It works both ways. She is throwing you back. Time to move on with some dignity.

a reply to: misterhistory

There is no wise words for saying. You can´t force anyone to be with you it is her decision and you should take it as it is. Worst thing you can do is forcing yourself to her. Maybe later she realize what she has missed, maybe she don´t.

There is a saying in here. " if someone wants to leave you, She/he isn´t worth of it "

Stop chasing her, for a couple of reasons

A - you cant make somebody love you

B - You become 10x more appealing if you don't chase her.

Once in the friend zone, there's no getting out....

a reply to: misterhistory

If she wants to leave there is nothing you can do, and why would you want to be with someone you need to convince to stay?

She took a test drive and the car wasn't what she wanted...save your dignity and move on is my opinion.

Based on the limited information it sounds as though you have somewhat pedestalised this woman and that us always a bad idea. A guy that pedestalises a woman registers as needy and low quality to the female hindbrain and that in turn will lead her to think she can do better than you.

Let her go.

If you try to force what she isn't feeling, you will only make things worse. Go on with your life. Look for others. Maybe someday it will happen; who knows. But in the meantime, it's not going down the way you want it to, and if it's a one-way street, then it won't work. You cannot love enough to make it work longterm.

a reply to: misterhistory


Run like the wind!

originally posted by: misterhistory
then I want to try to get it instead of lose all of it.

Nothing annoys someone more than when the other person moves on.

Do that. go out with the guys (or by yourself). make yourself busy..properly busy, make appointments, make dates, etc..dont text her back or if she texts you first, be very short and to the point

"Hey, what are you doing?"

"Cant talk now, getting ready for tonight. ttyl"

one of 2 things will happen, in your busyness you will suddenly find a far more enjoyable life in which you realized you weren't really all that happy before
or she may become bothered with how quickly you moved on and start chasing you again...careful, dont go back if its just to make sure she dumps you properly in her eyes..she has to change if she is to ever want to get back with you. She said not her all..fine..believe her. what would she do better next time.

But seriously, the one thing not to do, the one thing to make damn sure she never comes back is to chase after her in some whiney way..not only will it ensure she will find you pitiful (consider the word), but also it stops you from getting on with your awesome life waiting.

Has she got a sister?

As with most advice given here, just accept it and move on. If you do find a way to convince her to hang around, it's only a matter of time before she leaves again and then you have that same pain all over again. For your sanity, just walk away and know that you parted friends. (IMHO)

originally posted by: misterhistory
Okay, I met someone of the kind that one can't believe you're theirs. Obviously with the title I have I'm not her's currently as of the past two days. Looking for advice on any way I could convince her to stay with me. She's saying it's because she's not been giving it her all, but if what she had done over the past couple of months isn't her all, then I want to try to get it instead of lose all of it.

If you need more details to help answer my quest. Feel free to ask, though anything about messages sent between me and her are probably going to have to go through pm if I even feel it's appropriate. Thanks if you can help, don't just say I'm screwed and a looser, the messages between me and here are so freakishly similar to when I dumped my ex fiancée so I already know how bad the situation is.

She's just not that into you...

Yeah, it is going to hurt a bit, but get out there and play the field. If she really wants you, she will come back. Otherwise, just go have some fun.

No matter how much you like / love someone, if they aren't the one there is nothing you can do to convince them otherwise. Worse, if some how you do convince them, it may not be real and you just put off the inevitable breakup.

Let her go and say good luck because if you pressure her to stay she will not only make your life miserable, I can tell you that later you will be wishing you had and want her to go. So save yourself the grief and keep your self respect and dignity!
Millions of fish in the sea and the next one will be better and you will be wiser.

If she don't want you then her loss mate! Do you want to be with someone you know don't want or care for you! Say goodbye politely and wish her the very best for the future. This will have her thinking later when she realises the grass ain't always greener on the other riverbank.

Be cool and then go out to celebrate, maybe you meet new (and better).

Good luck

a reply to: grainofsand

I want to try, don't want to kill my self over it but I'd like to try if at all possible. Obviously I'm not entirely rational right now. She is worth a try, the best person I've ever met, better friend than one friend I had a while ago who unfortunately died in a drowning and his death was pretty rough on me. And for your information, we were friend zone prior to the relationship.

originally posted by: nerbot
Has she got a sister?

There you go, hump her sister but be polite about it!

She's found someone else, that's the lamest excuse I've heard before.

a reply to: misterhistory

Generally speaking, you can't make someone feel something that they claim that they don't. All you should do in this situation is be yourself--if that means going out of your way to try to woo her to stay, then do it, but don't overdo it, or it could push her away farther from you.

It sucks, man, and I'm lucky enough to have not ever been broken up with, but I have had the scenario where someone I had feelings for did not have them for me, and that, I guess, is as similar as I can get to your situation, and it sucked, so I'm guessing yours is to another level.

I think my only advice would be this old cliché: Let her go. If she comes back, it was meant to be.

But by all means, don't try to artificially prop up something that apparently isn't there anymore on her behalf.

I'm sorry you are hurting. Let her go. If you two are meant to be, you will reconnect later. Let her go and busy yourself with activities you enjoy.

originally posted by: ColaTesla
Stop chasing her, for a couple of reasons

A - you cant make somebody love you

B - You become 10x more appealing if you don't chase her.

Once in the friend zone, there's no getting out....

This

Do not contact her.
Do not chase
Look forward not back