The great anti-SJW parallel universe thread

a reply to: ThreeDots

I got a whole bunch of kids i hardly know hilroys thugs are always tryna sshake me down for back child support child support my ass dont they know how out of breath i was when i rolled off their mother

How many you figure you need 7 or 9 i could probably russel up a few more if your place a real mess just dont give em any sugar or feed em on account of the adhd i mean they dont really eat much anyways on account of all the scriptions

a reply to: ThreeDots
In this parallel universe, elections are not an exception to the universal rule that any official decision can be changed by a protest.

a reply to: ThreeDots

Hold on brother im a tie you up an ice cold blue ribbon have i got a story to tell you this one time i was staying with the inlaws up state

Big family get together you know a roast ham turkey an everything you know its good when there are at least three types of meat on the table

Anyways her sisters my cousins her mom and i all got a little drunk on a few gallons of shine needless to say the boys past out first sept this one and man i gave em all a roll no #

Like i said i can introduce you if you want. At least 5 em are fit to tie

Damn it i done it gain how the lords robes are we sposed to call the president of the god dang united states every time we use menstruation my phone bill is going to be god damn ridiculous !!!!!!!

DO YOU THINK THE PRESIDENT WILL FORGIVE ME FOR USING THAT MANY IM GONNA GO CRY INTO A WHOLE FLAT OF RIBBONS dont look at me

a reply to: DISRAELI

Its our american duty to make asses of ourselves on television

Ill drink to that

a reply to: DISRAELI

You what?

There are no elections here, only e*ections.

This is lad heaven! We cup therefore we are!

You know, my uh, my wife she, uh...

...she used to shave all of the time but I never realised she shaved until she stopped all of a sudden.

I had my suspicions but then one night I gave her a kiss and our top lips got stuck together like velcro, had to prize her face off mine and suddenly realised she was also wearing glasses, had shaved her head. further inspection of the back garden led me to some alter where I found the remains of burnt bras.

I cried for meself!

I confronted her, later that day and that was when she told me.

I've never seen a woman take punches like that, she was cold X! Mmmm-mmm!

I've nver pitied myself so much. All of the nurses in the hospital cried for me when they bandaged up my broken hand. They all wanted to kill her!

But I talked them out of it and instead we made sweet, sweet love through the night. Me and 12 nurses...Itaian supermodel ones.

I called old Donald the next day to brag about my exploits but he was too busy on one of his regular groping expeditions.

a reply to: ThreeDots

Brother that was the most beautiful story i ever heard forget the lue ribbon im a crack a king

May i utter these words

This buds for you (hands over a frosty can)

a reply to: Aeshma



I'll drink to that! Let me get fed then I'll be in touch about them purdy li'l ladies!

Do you take Visa?

a reply to: ThreeDots

Sure as shooting that or a box of 12 gauge shells you know the walmart special nothing fancy and a flat of pabst

Ummm..how old are you all? This is very juvenile. Oh well, to each their own I guess.

But really, very childish thread imo

*TRIGGER WARNING*

I really hope Trump starts identifying as a woman and grabs her own pvssy to know exactly what it's like to be female in a mans world.

I think the Electoral College system is racist and sexist. To counteract this we need to select the 2020 President on the color of their skin and their gender. Black, Mexican, LGBTIQXYZ President for 2020!!!!!

originally posted by: 3danimator2014
Ummm..how old are you all? This is very juvenile. Oh well, to each their own I guess.

But really, very childish thread imo

Juvenile? you sound like my wife!

She used to say that...all you do is play with your stupid xbox, so juvenile!

Maybe if she were more interesting than the xbox...

This is reality for some of us, I never created this world, none of us did. We just have to make the best of it - which I do by going all-in, no holds barred, all or nothing.

You know, don't chuck logs on a fire and expect it to go out.

Speaking of logs, my wife used to complain, again...those hackneyed quips about me being immature, etc, when I neglected to flush my logs away. Or when I neglected to clean the toilet seat after I urinated all over it the miserable cow.

Presumably, bespectacled feminists don't use the bathroom, which explains the walk. Knees pointing in the way, looks like Donald duck from behind.

Greatest thing I ever did was make her leave me. No doubt she's sorry now, or at least she will be when she heard I recently acquired the new COD and bought an additional controller...she'll be back, begging.

And I'll laugh at her...she'll be back!