Confused boyfriend seeking advice

Well, this is a long story. And to be honest in unsure where to begin but here goes.

So awhile back after some issues I found out the woman I love was also invloved with a trucker that had a child whim was abusing her. I fought to keep her she came back we've reconciled. After a while though she got really really sick and we freaked and her mother sent her to her family friend to rest in Richmond not here in van isle.

She was unable to talk apperently becaise she was around her family and in white she's from a strict Indian (south east asian as Canadians accociate that with aboriginals unfortunately). And I delt with it. After a few daus of little talk she called we finally talked and then she went for drinks with a friend.

I only heard from her a day later after she needed me to see if her friend/roomate was in the hospital after being hit by a car. Apperently she was in Calgary in a 18 wheeler heading to Ontario and back. With her uncle and his daughter. I freaked as last I saw she was deathly ill.

I stayed with her friend all week in the hospital with her barely even able to say more then okay to me on the phone. Then after 20 day's. She sent me a picture and it looked like a smaller truck to the other man. I freaked out, she said all the trucks look simillar, and was mad I don't trust her and was creeping. I'll admit I was curious about the other guy the whole trip.

After the whole day of not texting I was being a Creep and saw the other guy put a new profile pic up and she put a heart like on it. So naturally I just said stright up did you do that to see if I noticed? And tried to be cool like she got me good as a joke out of nervousness. She was online read my messeges stayed online a few minutes then went offline.

Now I'm sitting here after shift wondering if im right in thinking somthings up or if I'm just lonely and it's messing with my head. Any advice ATS? Because this sleepless wreck is outta ideas.

She's too much trouble. My advice is to chalk this one up and move on. May be hard, but sometimes the emotional investment is not worth it. There are too many warning signs in this one, so walk away.

Sorry, but that's what I would do.

a reply to: OneCrazyCanuck Meet. Love. Leave. You missed the third point.

She's cheating, Get rid of her.

Your "Gut" is usually always right....

a reply to: OneCrazyCanuck

She is lying to you, dump her. She just enjoys a "time out" with the cute cuddle guy. This way she'll never face her problems. Go distant, maybe she needs a while, maybe she will find another enabler, maybe she runs away and comes to you.

Point is supporting her, in this case, is like buying from a bad breeder. You just keep things stagnant.
Dare I say it? An ultimatum. Be prepared to follow through what ever that implies.
It's her decision.
But you can tell her she would be welcome.

Damn, sorry fella. That does sound very bad. There's no reason for her to be putting hearts on an ex-boyfriends pictures on facebook other than the reason that is keeping you up in anguish.


The bond between women and their abusers is weirdly strong, and for some reason they seem to keep going back to their abusers. I'm in a similiar situation myself. It's hell, trying to fight against that bond. But if she's actually gone back to the guy, then I'm afraid there's probably just nothing more you can do.

a reply to: OneCrazyCanuck

You already know fella. She's only going to keep hurting you. Let it go. It's more about you than her. Do it for yourself.
Oh she will try to use you again. Don't let her. You'll lose self respect. People like her always manage to survive. Let her make someone else crazy with grief.
It will hurt but keep telling yourself you're doing it for you. This decision could effect your whole life. Picture it with her and her baggage and then consider it with a sane girl who loves YOU.
GOOD LUCK

Dude, drop her like a hot brick. She's messing with your head and she'll only get worse and you'll only get stupider.

Don't let that happen. Just run the other way!

a reply to: OneCrazyCanuck

Fool me once shame on you, Fool me twice, shame on me.

You're seeing clear enough, blinded by love a little.

It will hurt to disengage now, a lot less in the long run.

After you stop chasing her, expect her to try and pull you back.

She obviously isn't trust worthy.

imo

a reply to: OneCrazyCanuck

The way I look at this is as follows:

Possibility 1) She is running around on you like a greyhound on a freshly laid track.

Possibility 2) She isn't, but at the same time is totally and utterly ignorant of the fact that the answer to feeling poorly is not to go dragging your ass all over Gods green creation in a succession of trucks, regardless of the reason to do so. She also seems to be very selfish, in that if she had the slightest understanding of the idea of what a relationship is and means, she would want to be with YOU, when needing healing, when needing comfort, love, support and all that stuff.

With you, in your immediate vicinity. The fact that she's buggering about with family and variously on the road, suggests to me that she either does not give a crap about you, or does not understand that her behaviour amounts to not giving a crap, no matter how she might think of you.

In both instances, there is no way forward, only steps back, or preferably away, that you can take from here.

a reply to: OneCrazyCanuck
Wait, are you even "with" this woman? Or are you just allowing yourself to be catfished, because it seems like your only contact is via instagram and barely there phone conversations.

Everyone is telling you to drop her medusae she "might be cheating on you"...but she's driving around Canada in an 18 wheeler with some man? She's all ready dropped you, or so it seems.

Get. Out.
She is playing you like a fiddle. Dump her fast and don't look back. When you do, expect her to come running back, telling you she loves you and wants to make things better. Don't Fall For It.
Please, take my and others advice, this relationship is only going to cause you more pain. Move on.

a reply to: OneCrazyCanuck


It looks as if you fail to understand that she, in her own way, is abusing you as evidently she is abused (in various ways) by others. So don't cry for her staying with an abuser while you are doing exactly the same thing. Help yourself, that's all you got.

a reply to: OneCrazyCanuck

Also, I thought this thread sounded familiar. Everyone reading this thread should also read This Thread

You only get one life, a finite amount of time, you should aim high - is she really what you're truly looking for in your heart?

Use your head....No, not that one.

It happens to us all.

a reply to: Atsbhct

Ho - ly SH**

Canuck...You wrote that back in July and you're still putting up with this crap? You just keep walking back in to the fire and then are amazed when you get burned.
CUT HER LOOSE!!!
Can't you see she's just playing you for attention? She tells you she loves you, then finds some weird reason to say you don't, then doesn't talk to you till you've begged for a week. There is something seriously wrong with her and you need to get away from her as quickly as possible. I can even predict her behavior after you dump her. She will call, text, email..., saying this is proof you never loved her, then slander you on social media, threaten suicide and pretty much anything else to get your attention and bring you running back to "Take care of her".
And if you do, don't expect sympathy. You know she's screwing up your life and you keep walking right back in to the fire.

Forgot to mention..She will show up at your house, begging you to take her back, then raise Hell when you don't, embarrassing you and annoying your neighbors. Even if she doesn't want to get back together, she'll show up just to cause you problems. Expect your car to be damaged and if she has a key to your house, you damn well better change the locks.

I'm just lonely and it's messing with my head.

There's your problem. There's your answer. Recognize it or you will be doomed to constant repitition.

Golden gem: Everyone is lonely. Recognize it....and make better choices going forward.

Fishy

a reply to: OneCrazyCanuck

She crazy, change your phone number and move along.

a reply to: OneCrazyCanuck

oops doubledangy.