Barstar Lumberjerk An Almost True Story

originally posted by: TerryDon79

There once was a man we called Barstar,
Who sang his way through ev'ry bar.
The women did swoon,
A little too soon
And now he's referred to as Father.

That was awesome.

Barstar just ditched the kid and the baby-momma to go sing some karaoke.

originally posted by: AugustusMasonicus
You should embellish a little, a la Barstar. Maybe you can be a lazy, manipulative womanizer who....oh, wait, we have that covered already.

Haha!
Nah, lazy bloke who lives by the seaside and only does enough work to cover whatever fun thing I want to do.
The exciting high end lifestyle of Barstar would involve me having to work 5 day weeks or something...I leave that to the committed social elite...and marvel at their stories.

originally posted by: AugustusMasonicus

originally posted by: TerryDon79

There once was a man we called Barstar,
Who sang his way through ev'ry bar.
The women did swoon,
A little too soon
And now he's referred to as Father.

That was awesome.

Barstar just ditched the kid and the baby-momma to go sing some karaoke.

He didn't?!

What a (hashtag)!

Well, I guess that means more time for him to sing and write poems.

originally posted by: grainofsand
Nah, lazy bloke who lives by the seaside and only does enough work to cover whatever fun thing I want to do.
The exciting high end lifestyle of Barstar would involve me having to work 5 day weeks or something...I leave that to the committed social elite...and marvel at their stories.

Barstar is known allover Los Angeles for his stretch Bentley filled with hot assistants who cater to his every whim and prevent him from lifting a finger. They even strum his guitar when he is composing new songs for his adoring fans.

Be like him you lazy slug!

originally posted by: TerryDon79
He didn't?!

Yes. He. Did.

He rolls like that.

Well, I guess that means more time for him to sing and write poems.

Here's one he just wrote about his well-known virility:

I have kids all over the place
I even have some in outer space

I make 'em
You bake 'em

Now get outta my face!

Ahhhh.....

I'm having a weird memory, you guys.....wait. Hold on! a sec......

originally posted by: AugustusMasonicus
Be like him you lazy slug!

I'd have no time to annoy people on ATS if I had that life though...consider it an altruistic sacrifice for the members.

Quite. So.....

This Barstar character. I've met him once, I believe it was in Barnes...or...Kew? Never mind that - it was that one pub right up off the Thames where I've been so many times.

So, the guy was sitting in the back, alone, corner cradling his chair.....
the glower on his face was mesmerizing.....

And I spontaneously crafted this poem:

Darling, the roses, the roses are blooming!
Yet, I have languished in slumber alone.
How long a wait is a gallant assuming
the maiden will dally afore going home?


anyway - it's lame.
le sigh.
heartbreak

originally posted by: grainofsand
I'd have no time to annoy people on ATS if I had that life though...

Just like Barstar, you breathing would annoy them. It would be another love/hate relationship.

Mostly hate though.

a reply to: BuzzyWigs

Are you sure Barstar Lumberjerk wrote that? It actually seems.......good.

a reply to: AugustusMasonicus

No, doof...I wrote it!

It was something about his swoonableness....... It just came into my head...and I've never forgotten it!

And I spontaneously crafted this poem:

Darling, the roses, the roses are blooming!
Yet, I have languished in slumber alone.
How long a wait is a gallant assuming
the maiden will dally afore going home?

copyright BW 2016

a reply to: AugustusMasonicus

If you want to know the poems he made up, well ------

they were pretty awkward after the "eye contact finger pointing back and forth" dance........

Would say things like

thinking that things rhymed when they didn't, especially.


Like HORSE and HOME

No. Those don't rhyme.
But DAMM he had dreamy eyes! And those teeth!!! He used to tap on those pearly whites when his gaze was somewhere far away......and they were NATURALLY perfect and white......

originally posted by: AugustusMasonicus

originally posted by: grainofsand
I'd have no time to annoy people on ATS if I had that life though...

Just like Barstar, you breathing would annoy them. It would be another love/hate relationship.

Mostly hate though.

I thrive on the hate though, same in real life at the pub, blunt and honest, take it or leave it.
Pretending to be some high-rolling type to garner attention though, that's a bit lame, even Barstar wouldn't do that...would he?

a reply to: BuzzyWigs

Ah, that makes sense.

Barstar wrote you something:

Hey broad from Kansas
Let me pen a few stanzas

About a great man I like to call 'me'
It make you swoon? Naturally

I've searched far and wide
Climbed every mountainside

To find a women who's my equal
To make a baby, 'My Sequel'

Sadly, you ain't it
Oh well, I'll keep looking

originally posted by: grainofsand
...even Barstar wouldn't do that...would he?

We all know he would because he did.

originally posted by: BuzzyWigs
And those teeth!!! He used to tap on those pearly whites when his gaze was somewhere far away......and they were NATURALLY perfect and white......

Yup, they sure are white. And large.

His horse teeth are so big he could eat an apple through a picket fence.

a reply to: AugustusMasonicus

Hmm, seems Barstar has a few options, carry on living a sham life, come clean and gain acceptance with his social circles, or change his identity in a witness protection style.
If I knew such a guy and they manned up and moved forward without the lies I'd let it slide, I'd actually admire their balls to front it.

a reply to: grainofsand

I think Barstar Lumberjerk is much more happy with his fake life of Hollywood glitz and glamor than as a humble tree trimmer with a family.

There's no going back now, the real world is like a bad fantasy to him.

a reply to: AugustusMasonicus

I like the uplifting cheesy happy endings to movies though, even shed a tear of happiness.
If Barstar did that in the movie, manned up, fronted it, all the people watching it with average lives would feel inspired.

...ah...people say I'm a dreamer...

originally posted by: grainofsand
I like the uplifting cheesy happy endings to movies though, even shed a tear of happiness.
If Barstar did that in the movie, manned up, fronted it, all the people watching it with average lives would feel inspired.

I think his wife and kid would shed the most but they have lost him forever, fame, fortune and talent have taken him places he can only dream about. Literally.

...ah...people say I'm a dreamer...

Aaaaactually, they say something else about you.