Barstar Lumberjerk An Almost True Story

a reply to: AugustusMasonicus

Well. To their defense - the people in the Midwest who live in decent-sized towns (college towns like Ames, Iowa, for example) or small cities (like Omaha or Lincoln, Nebraska) ------

they have really only limited exposure to world-class journalism. It's very sad.

Barstar, though - Barstar knew how to learn, and do research --- and he even auditioned and was cast for the county Shakespeare festival play back in 1984!

a reply to: BuzzyWigs

He also played Schifoso the Pirate at his state's RenFair. Sadly his 'sword' was more like a pine needle.

a reply to: TNMockingbird

I like Your Story here Bird! Nice job!!

a reply to: AugustusMasonicus

Ohhh!!! Oh. Ew. Now I remember.

Yeah - that was so lame!!!

Still - he's the kinda guy that even if his tights are saggy and his cheeks are droopy ....
the girls all just swoon anyway.

But not me.
No....

originally posted by: SyxPak
I like Your Story here Bird! Nice job!!

Why would you not like it?

Everyone knows a Barstar.

originally posted by: BuzzyWigs
Still - he's the kinda guy that even if his tights are saggy and his cheeks are droopy ....
the girls all just swoon anyway.

They do which is obvious from the fact that you checked out his ass since you knew his cheeks were droopy.

You should see the doofy hat he uses to cover his misshapen head.

a reply to: AugustusMasonicus

Oh, honey -- I've seen it.
I've ducked backstage plenty. He thinks (well....he knows) he is the bomb. He is the ultimate chick magnet ----- and especially the cougars!!!! Magnet for them as well.


Do you not check out people's hineys? I do. It's normal to do that.

originally posted by: BuzzyWigs
I've ducked backstage plenty. He thinks (well....he knows) he is the bomb. He is the ultimate chick magnet ----- and especially the cougars!!!! Magnet for them as well.

But he is a chick magnet. But it's only with the make believe ones in his stories.

Do you not check out people's hineys?

You mean like a proctologist?

a reply to: AugustusMasonicus

No, I mean like you meet someone, and then they're walking away, and you check out their hiney. Their backside. Their lower torso.....

you know.

Yeah. sigh. See, Bars would know what I was talking about! That's how I got his attention to begin with......

originally posted by: BuzzyWigs
See, Bars would know what I was talking about! That's how I got his attention to begin with......

So Barstar 'checked out your hiney'?

Wow, poet and proctologist. I guess that is why he wrote this one:

When I look at you your bottom it makes me crazy
Take off your clothes, I'd do it but I'm too lazy

I'm gonna get a running start, get over there fast
And them I gonna put my....oh, wait, is that a younger chick?

Never mind, get dressed and leave but pour me a vodka first

a reply to: AugustusMasonicus

LOL!! Yes!! Oh my heavens.... *fans own face* .....

oh gus....

oh.

Yeah. Wutevz.
Pour your own damn vodka

I WAS SUCH A FOOL!!!

originally posted by: BuzzyWigs
Pour your own damn vodka

He had some chick from Seattle do it and then tossed her out too.

a reply to: AugustusMasonicus

Such a jerk class A!

originally posted by: BuzzyWigs
Such a jerk class A!

Someone sounds jelly.

(and being that he's Barstar he's more like an A+++++ jerk, trust me)

a reply to: AugustusMasonicus

jelly? No.
bah


If I had a dollar for every time I believed his story.....bah....GAH!!!!

a reply to: TNMockingbird

What is this about? I don't get it?

a reply to: GV1997

Barstar would approve ... !!

originally posted by: Timely
Barstar would approve ... !!

I agree, if it weren't for bad publicity he would have no publicity.

originally posted by: AugustusMasonicus

originally posted by: Timely
Barstar would approve ... !!

I agree, if it weren't for bad publicity he would have no publicity.

Indeed !

Not being published is akin to ...

No publicity.

Which would mean a lack of publc knowledge of ...

The Legend ... that walks !!

originally posted by: Timely
The Legend ... that walks !!

With copious amounts of vodka he consumes it's more like 'staggers'.