When family is not family

a reply to: tadaman

I had a mother who dumped me with her parents when i was 2 years old and a father who only lived 16 miles away and only turned up when i was 12 years old claiming he did not know where i was .

Not one of my family ever phone me yet i was always the first to go and do construction work for them for free and supply the materials for nothing well no more mr nice guy from me after some soul searching .

My father is on his way out of life and now wants me to get in touch to sort his funeral out but his letters go in the bin and phone calls get ignored same with my mother i used to spend 30 + + hours per week doing chores for her , gardening shopping walking the dog etc etc .

My sister lives 2 minutes walk away from her yet rarely visits but over the years has had 100s of thousands of $ from her , not that i am bothered by cash but the straw that broke the camels back was me telling my mother i had a bad back and was unable to come up that day to finish some decorating i had started and to go shopping for her , she flipped on me over the phone going crazy when i pointed out the new $ 50.000 + Audi she had bought my sis could get it in less than 5 minutes .

Since then i do not bother much with her ,now the garden is a mess same with the house but i am a lot happier without them in my life , i have a handfull of good loyal friends and that is all i need .

You sow so shall ye reap

This is amazing! My ex boyfriend had an awful, emotionally damaged family. They were so abusive and controlling. But he would always say, yeah but they are family. It's like people who hurt you so much. And made you cheer your father on while he beat your mentally ill mother when you were a child, is not what family does. Basically ruined his whole adulthood and somehow, he is still loyal. I don't get it.

Very true. I like to think that family isn't necessarily the family that you were born into,but also the people you choose to have around you.



peace.

Good call cutting loose bonds just because its tradition doesnt mean you have to hang around and recieve constant abuse and judgement from people that are supposed to love you for you unconditionally but dont. I feel the same way about countries and borders, so many friends with good hearts all over the world and governments keeping us in play pens just because of economic security and resource hogging which is all of ours as people being born on earth with the unfortunate nonsense of lines in the dirt already there when we got here... same business pick up and tow lines out of some past tradition beneficial or not... its that whole monkey in the cage experiment climb the ladder get sprayed with the hose any new monkey gets the crap beat out of them or in our case that sometimes and peer pressure brow beating and propaganda... I think mandatory world travel should be a thing, maybe people wont be so closeted and cloistered.

Lots of parallels the more you start thinking outside of the lines and tropes people think life is supposed to be... your life take it back and own it otherwise everyone else will think they do or try to.