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The Shed 9
page: 61share:
a reply to: SyxPak
No, you will not respond accordingly you will respond truthfully! Haha!
I'm editing it now so I can post it to ATS, putting some line breaks in, italicising that which must be italics and......... ..... it's almost 3000 words, a proper chapter... that's 2-3 posts... LOL... *cringe*
No, you will not respond accordingly you will respond truthfully! Haha!
I'm editing it now so I can post it to ATS, putting some line breaks in, italicising that which must be italics and......... ..... it's almost 3000 words, a proper chapter... that's 2-3 posts... LOL... *cringe*
I apologise in advance the hogging the thread. *cringe*
She felt as though she were in a fog, her surroundings shrouded in wispy clouds as she struggled to see what appeared to be an image from her past, the vision shifting and fluctuating before her eyes. Alexandria could only watch as the gentle wisps wrapped themselves about her and brought her into the scene, an active witness to this event long past.
A young child, waves of red hair falling messily around her pale face, eagerly watching the tiny inhabitants of an ant nest going about their lives as they only knew how. She dropped half of her sandwich onto the mound and giggled gleefully as the insects swarmed to secure this boon. Hundreds, thousands! Pouring up from their home to assist with the blessing of this unexpected bounty. Filled with a strange delight, she grabbed a nearby stick and quickly shoved it into the entrance of the ants’ abode. They had been locked out forever! She was their God now!
Another child who had been playing nearby gasped aloud and shook her head heatedly, blonde curls bobbing to and fro with the movement, and ran away from Alexandria, shouting loudly as she swiftly departed.
“They can’t go home now! They’re going to die! You’re a killer! Killer, killer, killer!”
She blinked, confusion wavering within. Why should anyone care? They were only ants! Annoyed, she kicked the mound and, shaking a few of the pests from her shoe, wandered over towards a nearby swing-set, her green eyes glaring daggers at the blonde haired girl in the distance, subconsciously smirking as she began to twirl her finger around in the air, unaware of the faintly golden glint manifesting within her eyes.
Soon the girl and her mother passed Alexandria and she smiled the sweetest of smiles at them, and a wicked smile to herself, for as they had passed her by, she noticed that out from the roots of the girl’s blonde hair was an expanding redness, glistening under the light of the sun as only blood could.
The young Alexandria on the swing swang faster, higher, appearing to grow taller as she swung back and forth, the wispy clouds coming in fast all around the image, and all around the woman who felt unable to wrench her eyes from these scenes. The girl, now noticeably older than the young girl she had been, her long legs climbing up the swing that had now morphed into a bookshelf, dark bags resided beneath her weary eyes as she sought that which was not there.
She was searching for her father’s medication, and they had been searching for hours! He swore to God that someone must have taken the medication and hidden it somewhere, why else would the pills be missing? They had looked in every bedroom, in every cupboard, under the linen in the cupboards, on every shelf of every bookcase, her father was even investigating the plants! Was he unaware that he had eaten all of his pills earlier that morning? Did he not remember? Angry tears streamed down her tired face, blurring her vision as she tried in vain to search for this imaginary medication. Sobbing silently, she climbed down from the bookcase and called out, managing to hide the waver in her voice.
“Nope! They aren’t in here!”
The voice of her father poured into the room from the void that existed beyond the doorway, unquestionably furious.
“They are somewhere, Alexandria!”
The girl clenched her fists, her blood boiling with a rage previously unknown as she screamed.
“No they are not! AAARGH!”
It was nearly midnight! She could take no more, she wanted only to go to bed and sleep away this everlasting day! The eyes above her tear-stained cheeks widened in terror as her father stampeded into the room, his face mottled with anger, his hands trembling as they held his leather belt tightly, threateningly. She threw herself to the floor, her body heaving with her sobs.
“Yo-ou ate all your p-pills this mo-orning! I swear!”
Uncontrollably she sobbed upon the floor, awaiting the inevitable whips, but they never came. She peered up at her father through the gaps between her fingers and was surprised to find him nothing but a transparent blur before her eyes, she hastened to her feet and ran through the transparent man and into her bedroom. Locking the door behind her, she leapt onto the bed and buried her face into her pillow, her outpouring tears lulling her to sleep.
She was in a dream, she had to be. She walked towards the girl on the bed, her feet leaving behind light tendrils of the mist with every step that she took, and lightly she touched the girl’s hair, jumping back swiftly as the bed vanished and the girl stood tall and straight, appearing a year or two older than when she had rested.
Following silently behind the girl, she quickly fell into this memory forever etched into her mind. Peering around the corner of the hallway, she could hear her father mumbling nonsensical words within the confines of his room, and listening carefully she was grateful to have sensed nothing more happening within the halls of this house.
She moved silently along the hallway and made her way into the kitchen, peering hungrily into the cupboards and the fridge. There was nothing. She opened the freezer, only to find that it was empty too except for, hidden under a mound of frost, a package of frozen peas. She shuddered, she hated peas! They were the worst of the vegetable group, and she had always smothered them in sauce or gravy whenever they made their way onto her plate at dinnertimes, swallowing them whole so as not to suffer their taste on her tongue.
Frustrated she stared at the package; she had no choice, it was either this or go without! Again! She had never cooked before, she was still a child! Parents were supposed to do this sort of thing! She rummaged around in a cupboard and found a saucepan, she had no idea how to proceed but she assumed that she should just boil them in water. She turned the stove on and placed the pea-filled saucepan on a hotplate before sneaking about the house some more.
Hovering briefly outside her parent’s room, she could make little sense of her father’s jumbled words and she forlornly tiptoed back to her own room, feeling utterly alone.
She had no idea how long to cook the peas for; in better times her mother used to spend close to an hour in the kitchen when she was cooking dinner, perhaps in an hour they would be ready.
She lay on her bed and dreamt of rainbow skies and horses black as the night. The world that lived in her dreams was preferable to that of her reality, she wished that she could enter her mind and live in her pretend world forever! Whipping her pillow out from beneath her head, she held it over her face and stopped breathing for as long as she could manage. It was not long before she began to feel dizzy, her face tingling, her lungs screaming out for her to take a breath. She was unable to do it.
Had it been an hour yet? Surely her peas were ready by now. She returned to the kitchen and cringed in disgust at the horrible odour that wafted from the saucepan, tears filled her eyes as she realised that she had boiled them for too long, the water had evaporated and the peas were an ugly mush glued to the saucepan’s bottom.
She felt as though she were in a fog, her surroundings shrouded in wispy clouds as she struggled to see what appeared to be an image from her past, the vision shifting and fluctuating before her eyes. Alexandria could only watch as the gentle wisps wrapped themselves about her and brought her into the scene, an active witness to this event long past.
A young child, waves of red hair falling messily around her pale face, eagerly watching the tiny inhabitants of an ant nest going about their lives as they only knew how. She dropped half of her sandwich onto the mound and giggled gleefully as the insects swarmed to secure this boon. Hundreds, thousands! Pouring up from their home to assist with the blessing of this unexpected bounty. Filled with a strange delight, she grabbed a nearby stick and quickly shoved it into the entrance of the ants’ abode. They had been locked out forever! She was their God now!
Another child who had been playing nearby gasped aloud and shook her head heatedly, blonde curls bobbing to and fro with the movement, and ran away from Alexandria, shouting loudly as she swiftly departed.
“They can’t go home now! They’re going to die! You’re a killer! Killer, killer, killer!”
She blinked, confusion wavering within. Why should anyone care? They were only ants! Annoyed, she kicked the mound and, shaking a few of the pests from her shoe, wandered over towards a nearby swing-set, her green eyes glaring daggers at the blonde haired girl in the distance, subconsciously smirking as she began to twirl her finger around in the air, unaware of the faintly golden glint manifesting within her eyes.
Soon the girl and her mother passed Alexandria and she smiled the sweetest of smiles at them, and a wicked smile to herself, for as they had passed her by, she noticed that out from the roots of the girl’s blonde hair was an expanding redness, glistening under the light of the sun as only blood could.
The young Alexandria on the swing swang faster, higher, appearing to grow taller as she swung back and forth, the wispy clouds coming in fast all around the image, and all around the woman who felt unable to wrench her eyes from these scenes. The girl, now noticeably older than the young girl she had been, her long legs climbing up the swing that had now morphed into a bookshelf, dark bags resided beneath her weary eyes as she sought that which was not there.
She was searching for her father’s medication, and they had been searching for hours! He swore to God that someone must have taken the medication and hidden it somewhere, why else would the pills be missing? They had looked in every bedroom, in every cupboard, under the linen in the cupboards, on every shelf of every bookcase, her father was even investigating the plants! Was he unaware that he had eaten all of his pills earlier that morning? Did he not remember? Angry tears streamed down her tired face, blurring her vision as she tried in vain to search for this imaginary medication. Sobbing silently, she climbed down from the bookcase and called out, managing to hide the waver in her voice.
“Nope! They aren’t in here!”
The voice of her father poured into the room from the void that existed beyond the doorway, unquestionably furious.
“They are somewhere, Alexandria!”
The girl clenched her fists, her blood boiling with a rage previously unknown as she screamed.
“No they are not! AAARGH!”
It was nearly midnight! She could take no more, she wanted only to go to bed and sleep away this everlasting day! The eyes above her tear-stained cheeks widened in terror as her father stampeded into the room, his face mottled with anger, his hands trembling as they held his leather belt tightly, threateningly. She threw herself to the floor, her body heaving with her sobs.
“Yo-ou ate all your p-pills this mo-orning! I swear!”
Uncontrollably she sobbed upon the floor, awaiting the inevitable whips, but they never came. She peered up at her father through the gaps between her fingers and was surprised to find him nothing but a transparent blur before her eyes, she hastened to her feet and ran through the transparent man and into her bedroom. Locking the door behind her, she leapt onto the bed and buried her face into her pillow, her outpouring tears lulling her to sleep.
She was in a dream, she had to be. She walked towards the girl on the bed, her feet leaving behind light tendrils of the mist with every step that she took, and lightly she touched the girl’s hair, jumping back swiftly as the bed vanished and the girl stood tall and straight, appearing a year or two older than when she had rested.
Following silently behind the girl, she quickly fell into this memory forever etched into her mind. Peering around the corner of the hallway, she could hear her father mumbling nonsensical words within the confines of his room, and listening carefully she was grateful to have sensed nothing more happening within the halls of this house.
She moved silently along the hallway and made her way into the kitchen, peering hungrily into the cupboards and the fridge. There was nothing. She opened the freezer, only to find that it was empty too except for, hidden under a mound of frost, a package of frozen peas. She shuddered, she hated peas! They were the worst of the vegetable group, and she had always smothered them in sauce or gravy whenever they made their way onto her plate at dinnertimes, swallowing them whole so as not to suffer their taste on her tongue.
Frustrated she stared at the package; she had no choice, it was either this or go without! Again! She had never cooked before, she was still a child! Parents were supposed to do this sort of thing! She rummaged around in a cupboard and found a saucepan, she had no idea how to proceed but she assumed that she should just boil them in water. She turned the stove on and placed the pea-filled saucepan on a hotplate before sneaking about the house some more.
Hovering briefly outside her parent’s room, she could make little sense of her father’s jumbled words and she forlornly tiptoed back to her own room, feeling utterly alone.
She had no idea how long to cook the peas for; in better times her mother used to spend close to an hour in the kitchen when she was cooking dinner, perhaps in an hour they would be ready.
She lay on her bed and dreamt of rainbow skies and horses black as the night. The world that lived in her dreams was preferable to that of her reality, she wished that she could enter her mind and live in her pretend world forever! Whipping her pillow out from beneath her head, she held it over her face and stopped breathing for as long as she could manage. It was not long before she began to feel dizzy, her face tingling, her lungs screaming out for her to take a breath. She was unable to do it.
Had it been an hour yet? Surely her peas were ready by now. She returned to the kitchen and cringed in disgust at the horrible odour that wafted from the saucepan, tears filled her eyes as she realised that she had boiled them for too long, the water had evaporated and the peas were an ugly mush glued to the saucepan’s bottom.
Tears streaming and heavy sobs rising, she ran back to her room, no longer caring to maintain the silence and the illusion that she did
not exist. Another night with no food! Locking the door behind her, she slid down the wooden barrier and hugged her knees to herself, filled with
misery and anguish.
Oh, sweet child that I was… her eyes brimmed with tears as she witnessed herself filled with the pain and despair of a life she had not deserved. It was over now, for surely she had died and this was her life flashing before her eyes as reputed by those who had died only to return from the brink of the great void. She had failed Caelin, and she had failed herself.
The tendrils and wisps of the soft mist curled about her toes and around her body as she gazed sadly at the anguished child she had once been, watching as the room transformed around them once more, watching as the girl morphed into a teenager sitting primly upon a stool, staring silently down at her shoes.
Black and heavy with large clunky buckles, they had been specially made due to the size of her feet. These shoes, she had no asked for them, but it was her father’s funeral and appropriate footwear had been required. Her mother had spoken lengthily of appearances and how one must look and act dignified at such events, and then she had complained about the cost of the custom made monstrosities! It was not her fault, she had not even wanted the things!
Her mother had pulled her long auburn hair into the tightest of braids and expected her to sit quietly and look presentable while the adults ate small and ugly foods that offended near every one of her senses.
The tightness of her braid was stretching the hair from her scalp and afflicting her with a tremendous headache, but she sat as still as she could manage and ignored the discomfort, she did not fidget once. She was the very image of a good girl, sitting quietly and doing what she was damned well told, this was what her mother had wanted.
There was no use arguing, disagreeing with the woman only led to tears and pain, despair, and she did not wish yet another beating. She remained seated with the hope that if she sat there long enough and concentrated with every ounce of her being, she could envision the rainbow world that lingered within her mind. She smiled wistfully as she thought of the beautiful land, so unlike this reality she had been born into.
As the smile danced about her face, her mother had walked past and came to a halt as she noticed the evident joy that lingered upon Alexandria’s countenance. Throwing her arms up into the air the woman had yelled at her, the sharp scent of alcohol wafting from her breath.
“It’s your father’s funeral today! How dare you sit there and smile!”
Alexandria had gazed up at her mother, her big green eyes welling up with tears of shame.
“I’m sorry, mother, I was-.”
Without warning, her mother had slapped her face sharply and continued walking. Alexandria’s tears slipped down her cheeks as she touched the stinging mark on her face and, once she had collected herself, she straightened her posture and sat primly on her stool, silently staring into the nothingness that lay before her as she emptied her mind of all thought.
Swallowing heavily, she hastily turned from the scene. It mattered no longer, she had been liberated and her mother had been dealt with. One foot before the other, she strode away from the despairing girl and refused to take heed of the endless clouds that swam around her; it was over. She lifted her head back and gazed up into the sky, watching as the kaleidoscopic colours danced about the atmosphere. ‘The Aethya’, Caelin had called it. It was perfect. Closing her eyes, she allowed the colours of the Aethya to shine down upon her face and ignored the sensation that told her she was falling down into the void.
Several minutes passed before she opened her eyes once more. It was dark. Alexandria blinked owlishly as the remnants of her imagination swiftly departed from her mind, her hands reaching out to touch the solidity of the ground she lay upon, and grasping the soft grass that surrounded her. Slowly she sat forward and squinted her eyes, struggling to view her environment through the fog of her waking vision. The grass was cold beneath her body, damp, and unfamiliar sounds were echoing all around her; the screech of insects, the soft growls of unidentified creatures, the sound and sight of a flickering blaze in the nearby distance, murmurs of hushed voices from those silhouetted by the fire.
A sudden thought leapt into mind and she quickly peered up into the sky, her hands gripping the damp grass tightly, her eyes drinking in the splendour of the beauty above. This was no dream! Tears of happiness formed in the corners of her eyes as she gazed up at the magnificence of the heavens, the soft swirls of purples and oranges sat gently in the dark blue of the night sky. She was alive, she was here!
A dark silhouette who had been seated by the fire faced their head towards her and hurriedly climbed to their feet, Alexandria could determine only that the form was that of a woman as the figure rushed to approach her, hunched over and with a slight limp. She was unsure of what she should do, she tried to stand but her legs were weak, a mild trepidation began to flitter about the edges of her mind as the woman came into view, and as the gap was closed between them she simply tried to shrink into herself, wincing as at last the woman stood before her.
The hunched woman peered down at her and offered a shaking hand, a slight croak to her voice as she spoke.
“Careful now, dearie. You’ve been asleep for some time you have.”
Alexandria peered up into the woman’s face, wrinkles folded deeply into her skin, and noticed the frailty with which the woman seemed encumbered by. Discerning no threat, she gingerly took the woman’s hand and slowly wobbled to her feet, swaying from side to side as she managed to reach a standing position. Murmuring more to herself than to the unknown woman, her voice sounded drained and was barely audible as she spoke.
“Caelin… he disappeared…”
She felt the woman’s creased hand tighten upon her own and she stared at the woman in shock, startled by the woman’s sudden and unexpected strength. Aged with heavy bags beneath her faded blue eyes, her lips pursed as she glared up at Alexandria, her croaky voice demanding answers as she investigated every nuance of Alexandria’s face.
“What did you just say!?”
No one can harm you. Alexandria ripped her hand from the woman’s steel grasp and stood tall as the faint whispers of Caelin’s soft voice reverberated about her thoughts, little evidence remaining of her weakened state from moments ago.
“I must find Caelin!”
The woman scowled and took a step away from Alexandria, laughing harshly as she spoke angrily.
“You won’t find no Caelin here, young miss! The only Caelin in these parts is our lord and master! By the Three! May the Gods strike him down.”
Her laughter abruptly stopped and her eyes bore into Alexandria’s as she spat on the ground.
An unbridled fury rose within Alexandria as the faint thrill of electricity was swift to course along her veins, and the woman took another step back, fearful as she sensed the magic manifesting.
“I knew it! You’re a mage! Are you mad!? Not out here, silly girl, you’ll bring the dread horses upon us!”
Oh, sweet child that I was… her eyes brimmed with tears as she witnessed herself filled with the pain and despair of a life she had not deserved. It was over now, for surely she had died and this was her life flashing before her eyes as reputed by those who had died only to return from the brink of the great void. She had failed Caelin, and she had failed herself.
The tendrils and wisps of the soft mist curled about her toes and around her body as she gazed sadly at the anguished child she had once been, watching as the room transformed around them once more, watching as the girl morphed into a teenager sitting primly upon a stool, staring silently down at her shoes.
Black and heavy with large clunky buckles, they had been specially made due to the size of her feet. These shoes, she had no asked for them, but it was her father’s funeral and appropriate footwear had been required. Her mother had spoken lengthily of appearances and how one must look and act dignified at such events, and then she had complained about the cost of the custom made monstrosities! It was not her fault, she had not even wanted the things!
Her mother had pulled her long auburn hair into the tightest of braids and expected her to sit quietly and look presentable while the adults ate small and ugly foods that offended near every one of her senses.
The tightness of her braid was stretching the hair from her scalp and afflicting her with a tremendous headache, but she sat as still as she could manage and ignored the discomfort, she did not fidget once. She was the very image of a good girl, sitting quietly and doing what she was damned well told, this was what her mother had wanted.
There was no use arguing, disagreeing with the woman only led to tears and pain, despair, and she did not wish yet another beating. She remained seated with the hope that if she sat there long enough and concentrated with every ounce of her being, she could envision the rainbow world that lingered within her mind. She smiled wistfully as she thought of the beautiful land, so unlike this reality she had been born into.
As the smile danced about her face, her mother had walked past and came to a halt as she noticed the evident joy that lingered upon Alexandria’s countenance. Throwing her arms up into the air the woman had yelled at her, the sharp scent of alcohol wafting from her breath.
“It’s your father’s funeral today! How dare you sit there and smile!”
Alexandria had gazed up at her mother, her big green eyes welling up with tears of shame.
“I’m sorry, mother, I was-.”
Without warning, her mother had slapped her face sharply and continued walking. Alexandria’s tears slipped down her cheeks as she touched the stinging mark on her face and, once she had collected herself, she straightened her posture and sat primly on her stool, silently staring into the nothingness that lay before her as she emptied her mind of all thought.
Swallowing heavily, she hastily turned from the scene. It mattered no longer, she had been liberated and her mother had been dealt with. One foot before the other, she strode away from the despairing girl and refused to take heed of the endless clouds that swam around her; it was over. She lifted her head back and gazed up into the sky, watching as the kaleidoscopic colours danced about the atmosphere. ‘The Aethya’, Caelin had called it. It was perfect. Closing her eyes, she allowed the colours of the Aethya to shine down upon her face and ignored the sensation that told her she was falling down into the void.
Several minutes passed before she opened her eyes once more. It was dark. Alexandria blinked owlishly as the remnants of her imagination swiftly departed from her mind, her hands reaching out to touch the solidity of the ground she lay upon, and grasping the soft grass that surrounded her. Slowly she sat forward and squinted her eyes, struggling to view her environment through the fog of her waking vision. The grass was cold beneath her body, damp, and unfamiliar sounds were echoing all around her; the screech of insects, the soft growls of unidentified creatures, the sound and sight of a flickering blaze in the nearby distance, murmurs of hushed voices from those silhouetted by the fire.
A sudden thought leapt into mind and she quickly peered up into the sky, her hands gripping the damp grass tightly, her eyes drinking in the splendour of the beauty above. This was no dream! Tears of happiness formed in the corners of her eyes as she gazed up at the magnificence of the heavens, the soft swirls of purples and oranges sat gently in the dark blue of the night sky. She was alive, she was here!
A dark silhouette who had been seated by the fire faced their head towards her and hurriedly climbed to their feet, Alexandria could determine only that the form was that of a woman as the figure rushed to approach her, hunched over and with a slight limp. She was unsure of what she should do, she tried to stand but her legs were weak, a mild trepidation began to flitter about the edges of her mind as the woman came into view, and as the gap was closed between them she simply tried to shrink into herself, wincing as at last the woman stood before her.
The hunched woman peered down at her and offered a shaking hand, a slight croak to her voice as she spoke.
“Careful now, dearie. You’ve been asleep for some time you have.”
Alexandria peered up into the woman’s face, wrinkles folded deeply into her skin, and noticed the frailty with which the woman seemed encumbered by. Discerning no threat, she gingerly took the woman’s hand and slowly wobbled to her feet, swaying from side to side as she managed to reach a standing position. Murmuring more to herself than to the unknown woman, her voice sounded drained and was barely audible as she spoke.
“Caelin… he disappeared…”
She felt the woman’s creased hand tighten upon her own and she stared at the woman in shock, startled by the woman’s sudden and unexpected strength. Aged with heavy bags beneath her faded blue eyes, her lips pursed as she glared up at Alexandria, her croaky voice demanding answers as she investigated every nuance of Alexandria’s face.
“What did you just say!?”
No one can harm you. Alexandria ripped her hand from the woman’s steel grasp and stood tall as the faint whispers of Caelin’s soft voice reverberated about her thoughts, little evidence remaining of her weakened state from moments ago.
“I must find Caelin!”
The woman scowled and took a step away from Alexandria, laughing harshly as she spoke angrily.
“You won’t find no Caelin here, young miss! The only Caelin in these parts is our lord and master! By the Three! May the Gods strike him down.”
Her laughter abruptly stopped and her eyes bore into Alexandria’s as she spat on the ground.
An unbridled fury rose within Alexandria as the faint thrill of electricity was swift to course along her veins, and the woman took another step back, fearful as she sensed the magic manifesting.
“I knew it! You’re a mage! Are you mad!? Not out here, silly girl, you’ll bring the dread horses upon us!”
The woman watched Alexandria cautiously, and slowly, carefully, she stepped forward, laying her shaking hand on Alexandria’s arm and
spoke gently, as though to a wilful child.
“Come, miss, sit with us by the fire… join us in evening’s meal! It’s been nigh on four days since we found you, surely you’re famished!”
Memories rushed to force themselves into her mind; if this were truly real, it would be close to seven or even eight days since she had last eaten. Mother… she closed her eyes tight and cleared her mind of the small guilt that lingered, a guilt that would fade with time. The wretched woman had deserved her fate! Fate… Caelin had said that this was fated. Swiftly she shook her head to free herself from this overwhelming thoughts.
Rubbing at her brow, she opened her eyes and looked down at the old woman, stifling the anger and magic that threatened to erupt at the woman’s outspoken condemnation of the man who had saved her life, allowing her voice to portray a calmness she did not feel as she consented to the meal.
“It’s been about eight days… I will sit with you.”
The old woman’s eyes widened as she swiftly guided Alexandria towards the fire.
“Oh, young miss! Come, we’ve kept some stew for you if you were to awaken. Eat slowly though, let your body take it in bit by bit, we can’t have you getting sick now.”
Alexandria nodded silently and, having held her rage at bay for the time being, allowed the woman to lead her to the camp.
“Come, miss, sit with us by the fire… join us in evening’s meal! It’s been nigh on four days since we found you, surely you’re famished!”
Memories rushed to force themselves into her mind; if this were truly real, it would be close to seven or even eight days since she had last eaten. Mother… she closed her eyes tight and cleared her mind of the small guilt that lingered, a guilt that would fade with time. The wretched woman had deserved her fate! Fate… Caelin had said that this was fated. Swiftly she shook her head to free herself from this overwhelming thoughts.
Rubbing at her brow, she opened her eyes and looked down at the old woman, stifling the anger and magic that threatened to erupt at the woman’s outspoken condemnation of the man who had saved her life, allowing her voice to portray a calmness she did not feel as she consented to the meal.
“It’s been about eight days… I will sit with you.”
The old woman’s eyes widened as she swiftly guided Alexandria towards the fire.
“Oh, young miss! Come, we’ve kept some stew for you if you were to awaken. Eat slowly though, let your body take it in bit by bit, we can’t have you getting sick now.”
Alexandria nodded silently and, having held her rage at bay for the time being, allowed the woman to lead her to the camp.
originally posted by: SyxPak
Ok then. Just do what ya have to, so we can read it already!! LOL!!
EDIT: Oh hey. Maybe You could/should do it as a new thread?
D'oh, read that too late... maybe I should have..... too late now haha, gosh.
Just after reading the first two paragraphs, I wanted to tell You I am drawn in, Deeply already!
Very nice layout for This tale!!
Keep reading haha, and I'd love to know if it elicits emotions, that's the main thing I'm after here... the whole point of the chapter is for the reader to get a feel for Alexandria's past and feel sorry for her and want her to have a better future.
a reply to: kaelci
Ok Just finished that Tale Kaelci. It was fabulous!
(SPOLIER ALERT!!)
I was drawn in instantly, as I aforementioned, and could feel the pain in that dear child's life! She was unfortunately a victim of Her Mothers self pity, in that, that woman had to scold, beat, lay punishment on that child. ALexandria has lost her innocence, due to an overly controlling Mother...
Alex's world of fantasy is a wonderful means of escape for Her! ( Actually I too go into that world, when neccessary!)
Overall, I loved that Tale Kaelci! Well done!
EDIT: And Yes I felt for Alexandria! Could feel her emotions in every area of that tale!
Ok Just finished that Tale Kaelci. It was fabulous!
(SPOLIER ALERT!!)
I was drawn in instantly, as I aforementioned, and could feel the pain in that dear child's life! She was unfortunately a victim of Her Mothers self pity, in that, that woman had to scold, beat, lay punishment on that child. ALexandria has lost her innocence, due to an overly controlling Mother...
Alex's world of fantasy is a wonderful means of escape for Her! ( Actually I too go into that world, when neccessary!)
Overall, I loved that Tale Kaelci! Well done!
EDIT: And Yes I felt for Alexandria! Could feel her emotions in every area of that tale!
edit on 28-7-2016 by SyxPak because: (no reason
given)
Ok Dragon Lovers! I have some new Dragons in My Thread! Just go HERE to
see Them!
( I gotta go. Steaks are almost done on the grill!)
CatchYa's later! Have a great evening, Day, Morning, or whatever time of the day/night it is for You!!
( I gotta go. Steaks are almost done on the grill!)
CatchYa's later! Have a great evening, Day, Morning, or whatever time of the day/night it is for You!!
edit on 28-7-2016 by SyxPak because: (no reason given)
a reply to: SyxPak
Enjoy your steak! Om nom nom! Haven't had a good steak in ages
Thank you for your insightful response, too!
That was exactly what I was hoping to achieve with the chapter and I'm glad I managed to get it across!! Thank you for taking the time to read it!
As in that little chapter, I go into my own little world often, and I lived in my own little world when I was a child to escape the harsh realities of life. I had talking animal friends, rivers and waterfalls, forests and mountains and beaches! It was my little escape.
I have three stories overall in mind.. and I want to get Alexandria's done first.. she is my most precious creation <3 haha. She's been with me since I was a teenager and our story must be told
Enjoy your steak! Om nom nom! Haven't had a good steak in ages
Thank you for your insightful response, too!
That was exactly what I was hoping to achieve with the chapter and I'm glad I managed to get it across!! Thank you for taking the time to read it!
As in that little chapter, I go into my own little world often, and I lived in my own little world when I was a child to escape the harsh realities of life. I had talking animal friends, rivers and waterfalls, forests and mountains and beaches! It was my little escape.
I have three stories overall in mind.. and I want to get Alexandria's done first.. she is my most precious creation <3 haha. She's been with me since I was a teenager and our story must be told
edit on 28 7 2016 by kaelci because: (no reason given)
Kaelci, It did indeed illicit emotions. It brought me to anger for the terrible parents she had, it brought out my sympathy for
the poor dear child to have to go into a fantasy world to escape the horrors that were her reality. It also brought out a great curiosity in me as I
wondered about the mage part and what her new experiences would bring. Wonderfully done dear Kaelci!
edit on 28-7-2016 by Night Star because:
(no reason given)
a reply to: Night Star
Thank you, Miss Elfie!
It looks like I had nothing to worry about in eliciting emotion haha.. I've shared this once before, not here, before I edited it and fixed it up to be a publishable standard (in saying that, I noticed one spelling mistake, eek *fixes it in the document*), but as usual all I got was "that was good!" .... I don't want to know if it's good, I want to know if it served its purpose, if it brought out emotion, if the reader could feel her pain and thoughts properly...
Being the writer and having it semi-autobiographical... I'm too biased especially with that particular chapter... Haha
*whew*
The next page of the Shed will open in a moment, and I can feel less guilty about taking up nearly a whole page LOL.
Thank you, Miss Elfie!
It looks like I had nothing to worry about in eliciting emotion haha.. I've shared this once before, not here, before I edited it and fixed it up to be a publishable standard (in saying that, I noticed one spelling mistake, eek *fixes it in the document*), but as usual all I got was "that was good!" .... I don't want to know if it's good, I want to know if it served its purpose, if it brought out emotion, if the reader could feel her pain and thoughts properly...
Being the writer and having it semi-autobiographical... I'm too biased especially with that particular chapter... Haha
*whew*
The next page of the Shed will open in a moment, and I can feel less guilty about taking up nearly a whole page LOL.
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