A time before human existence

In keeping with ATS tradition, and to stray away from the more political threads I am involved in, I want to give you all a personal experience, one of the main reasons I found myself on ATS years ago. Now mind you, I am not sold on the events or their implications, some of this could of very likely been a early childhood dream, however, this hasn't sat right with me for a long time, and I am just going to tell you the story.

When I was a child my parents were alcoholics, my father freshly out of the army would fight with my mother often (not physically) in our ghetto apartment in Philadelphia, gun shots outside were a common occurrence, and I have several memories from this time in my life. I was almost two years old at the time still very much a baby becoming a toddler, my brother is twenty two months older than me,and here is my first childhood memory. I am at a small table in the living room next to my brother, a candle is lit, and my mother is crying and my dad is next to her, which was impactful and I was concerned for my mother, she explained to my brother and me, that her and my father would no longer leave us to go out drinking at night that they were going to change, she then put us to bed.

Next, I remember my brother waking me up and beginning to pick me up, it was the middle of the night and dark, though with enough of a moonlight hue that i could see what appeared to be an opaque entity, formless, and yet somehow perceivable, in the room with us. it was comforting, familiar, and I knew I had this seen this entity before. My brother quickly whisked me away, and took us down the stairs and up again to the apartment next door ,and he began knocking on the door, a very tired and concerned woman answered the door, and my brother told her," my parents left us again" ,and she took us in where we waited for my parents car to return, and that's the end of my first memory.

The thing about this "entity" in the darkness is that I remember it appearing in another memory ( more likely dream. obviously) and at the risk of sounding crazy here goes.

I remember, standing in front of the world (as if the globe was in perspective) next to this formless entity, that was very loving and kind. It was presenting a choice and that choice was to live a human life, there were others around though I don't remember what they looked like, the thing was, the choice was solely mine to make, and I watched the life that I would live every moment played before me, and it was to be a sad and painful life which the entity was understanding and kind.

That's all I remember from that, now of course that was most likely a dream, the strange thing is in my teenage years I confronted my mother about that memory at the table and them leaving us, and it was true she confirmed it, she was dumbfounded and sorrowful that, that would be my first memory as I was very young, and also they changed their lives and sobered up. I've always wondered about this progression of events, and sometimes when my logical mind is at ease I do play with the possibilities, so I hope you enjoyed a very personal story of mine and perhaps some of you have similar experiences, thanks for reading.

a reply to: TechniXcality

There is absolutely no way to validate such and experience but I would love for this to be true..it would be absolutely beautiful..and I'm saddened that you had a very rough childhood...even if you adjusted to it...doesn't make it right

Like you, I had to deal with an alcoholic family member [ Father ] but, unlike your's, mine was extremely violent, even when not drinking. I had some very strange dreams as a child and I think they due to stress and an escape from a world I had no control over. Not saying your's were, just a "maybe"

a reply to: chrismarco

Thanks brother, and I agree impossible to validate, but the implication is beautiful. I don't struggle with my early childhood so much anymore but I guess some would say that those first memories have a psychological effect, and once again thank you for your kind words. Cheers

a reply to: DAVID64

Yes this is the direction my mind goes as well that the memory of the world was a trauma dream of some kind, I find it rather fascinating, I'm sorry you went through that brother I hope there has been resolve over time.

a reply to: TechniXcality

I hope there as been resolve over time.

Yep. He died slow and painful. Funny thing, I never think about him, unless Fathers and alcoholism is the topic. I've just brushed him out of my life and have always made sure to raise my kids in a loving and supportive atmosphere. The exact opposite of the way I grew up, so I know what damage that can do.

a reply to: TechniXcality

I grew up in a rather turbulent family... and I disappeared into my own mind, my own imagination, a form of escapism to remove myself from the negativity of my life. It took several years afterwards to extract myself from my dream world, and even now as an adult, I tend to fall back into it to get away from the burdens of reality.

But, I'm uncertain as to if your "entity" would be considered such an imaginative escape; I think it's entirely possible that a loving and caring presence was indeed looking out for you.

Thank you for sharing your story.

a reply to: kaelci

Thanks, , and yes how I wish it is true though I often come back to reality thinking it was just a dream or trauma memory.

a reply to: TechniXcality

Wow Tex, that' so sad. What a deep memory you've retained all those years. I'm sorry You and your Brother ever had to endure that.

I think Children are so much more perceptive to things than we even give them credit for, i believe whatever it was, was protecting You and your Brother, no doubt in my mind.

I hope you've found some Peace from that terrible experience you went through at such a young age.

Peace my Friend!

a reply to: TechniXcality

What was the other choice? Did you state the choice you wanted to make?

And I am so sorry, Tech, that this was your first memory.

a reply to: reldra

The other choice was to stay there I suppose, though that part is somewhat unclear as I was determined to go ( as I remember it) and it's ok, thank you, I don't struggle at all with it.

a reply to: awareness10

Thanks awareness, I often wonder myself.

double!

a reply to: TechniXcality

Not sure where, but I've heard that's how it works.

Between lives, you get to view your possible next life and choose whether you're willing to go though it vs other choices.

Allegedly the lives you choose are tailored specifically to fulfill experiences your "soul" or whatever needs to experience.

Some people claim this process takes place in the moon.

Bizarre, but that's the claim.

a reply to: Urantia1111

wish you knew where you heard that, but yes I have heard similar things, folks remembering a time before that is.

a reply to: TechniXcality

Thank you for opening this topic, Tex. Very interesting.

I have often thought/felt that young kids still have a very close connection to ... wherever the soul comes from. When my niece was about that same age, she said on a few occasions she could see what she felt were angels. My daughter, instead of having Terrible Twos, was calm and confident and wise... that sure didnt come from me!

Regarding you seeing the world from a distance and making the choice to come into it... I think it's quite possible that before the soul inhabits the physical realm, it 'knows' it has a vital purpose for coming here. It might be to learn something, it might be for the benefit of someone else entirely... it might be all of the above. I believe that when we get back 'Home' we might understand it all.

Until then... thank you for being here :-)

a reply to: CantStandIt

well, I wasn't expecting so much support for the trauma experience, and such a positive reception, thanks ATS love y'all.

Thank you for sharing this Tech! What a sad and horrible childhood you had! I believe you had someone watching over you, that what you experienced was real.

I had a bizarre experience. I say experience because I know the difference between dreams and reality and this memory is something I have had my entire life. This happened before I was born. The details are rather vague and I have tried so very hard to re-call more, yet nothing comes. I remember being in a place with a small group of people or perhaps spirit beings, I think we were in spirit form but can't be sure. There was a kind loving soul that I will call the leader as I have no other name for this individual.

I was waiting around and feeling content and then I was called over. This presence told me that I had a choice to go to a place that was chaotic and so many things were wrong there. I would imagine he must have told me it was beautiful and wonderful too, but I don't remember. I got the impression it would be a learning experience and that I could maybe help somehow. He told me though that if I did choose to go that there would be no turning back. I take that as meaning that if I decided to come, I would have stay in this physical form until it dies.

I thought to myself if this person asked me, they must have faith in me that I could handle it. I found it exciting and challenging yet I hesitated at first before deciding to come. I have heard of others with similar experiences to mine and we all say the same thing, "What the hell was I thinking???" We all felt there was like a purpose or mission or something, but never figured it out. And this world is screwed up.

I once had an out of body experience that was very brief. So...between both those experiences, I believe that we are far more than just a physical body and that life goes on after we leave here.

No, I am not crazy, though some people might think so after reading this. LOL

originally posted by: TechniXcality
a reply to: CantStandIt

well, I wasn't expecting so much support for the trauma experience, and such a positive reception, thanks ATS love y'all.

As we say in The Shed , 'Big Squishys'. Hugs, Tech

a reply to: Night Star

Everything you say there makes sense.