Never experienced so much spiritual confusion

Here's some sage advice:

originally posted by: 0hlord
I dont know how to write this.

Im not depressed (much), I just feel a bit lost.

The reason is because there is a woman in my life, who i care deeply for...
But I havent been intimate with a woman for a long time, and never in a mature way... So it has taken me some time to adjust.. and there are some doubts... like i cant help feeling sometimes im not ready to love her.. but then my heart rebels and says no its fine, just relax and take things slow, but then my mind starts thinking what if i blow it, and i start panicking... I was alone for a few years, and felt constantly stressed about things, and lonely, so it feels so nice to finally have someone, but im also struggling to figure a lot of different things out, and now here she is, making everything infinitely more complicated than it already was... I dont know how to proceed. Has anyone experienced this before? What happened? How did you get through it? I need all the advice and help I can get. Thanks.

Love is not complicated. It just is what it is and resides around a word known as duty. Love makes people accountable and is why people run from it afraid or just simply feel repelled. They don't want to be held accountable because love is morally good and always wins.

Hello
I am glad to hear you are no longer alone...
The biggest reason of course because... As you said... Before you were with her you felt alone...
Not everyone needs somebody to feel better about themselves... But everybody needs to feel loved...
Because you have found this level of comfort after years alone...It's normal to be afraid to blow it or have to return to the dread of being alone of which you seem all to familiar...
This is a large part of your problem you are dwelling upon this fear instead of delighting in your new situation...
Allow yourself to live now instead of in the past...And let not fear hinder you for it will if you can't move past it... Love has no guarantees you have to open yourself up to the hurt that could come by doing so...
But without taking the chance you will never hold onto it either...
Because Love of this nature is intimate and personal and because it is a bond shared between two people... You can no longer stand alone... You must trust her fully... And this means opening up to her and explaining the problems you are dealing with...
Do it and be lonely no more...
I wish you well and I hope happiness is found and never lost to you again...

a reply to: 5StarOracle

Thank you for your kind words, I will try talking to her openly about things as you suggest...
Wish me luck!

originally posted by: 0hlord
and I hope the heartbreak wont be too devastating....

This movie clip came to mind when i read your words - so sweet.

It's a cliché, but you should just jump in and enjoy yourself.
Yes, it may all go wrong, but think about the moment, live in the moment. Letting all your worries about the future cloud your judgement just takes away from the good stuff you can be enjoying right now.
Make like a Buddhist and live now. The future can take care of itself.

Good luck btw.

a reply to: 0hlord

I am glad to hear it! I hope you are rewarded for your effort and the emptiness is filled and you hurt no more...
Achieve what you desire and you will be the luckiest Man alive...
I will cross my fingers for you...

My friend,

Clear your mind. Forget about your past, and don't even consider the future. Live in the "now".

Get out of your head, and just enjoy your time together right "now". Enjoy her presence, be grateful for the current state you both share, and things will naturally progress on their own. Drop the 'what ifs', the expectations, the worries of the future, the pressure, the roles you play, the anxiety, and the insecurities. Just be your self.

Let go of your fears. Fear spoils the now.

Just be yourself, remember to breathe slowly, and go with the flow, if you think constantly about failure, you will fail. Be positive.

a reply to: 0hlord

If she is making your life more complicated, then maybe she is not the right one for you. However, if the complications are just in your brain and not real, then buck up and go for a ride with her and see where things go.