Most Men Do Not Get It When It Comes To Being Pregnant

Your rant is appropriate for a Ms. Magazine article from the sixties. It reminds me of these "confessionals" of people who say they were trapped in a devil cult where they ate babies and Praise the Lord they are now free of that trauma! I'm sure your pseudo-feminist polemic will be accepted in certain political circles, but it sounds to me like you seriously need a kidney stone to sober you up. Once women are required to register for the draft and have equal opportunity to die for their country, we'll talk equality.

a reply to: forthelove

I'm glad I'm a man.My duties include:

Shaving every Saturday.
Lifting impossibly heavy sh*t.
Putting up with three ladies(1 wife,2 teenage daughters)that seem to be from another planet.
Mowing the bastard lawn.
Doing all the "little"jobs that 'er indoors finds for me...

And you think I should have had two c-sections?

Get some stones.

a reply to: forthelove
Ok fine you do all of that. You punish yourself. You suffer. I hope you enjoy it. I loathe people who loathe themselves. I get it we're different from women! We're different so you want us to be the same? To have the same experiences? I mean, how low can you go? I'm going to leave because my serious lack of respect for you, for such mentality of self-loathing, I should go lest I be banned and I love this site. Good Bye!

What is your mentality? Are you insane...I swear some people are so...argh

I've witnessed a woman go through natural childbirth.
I've witness my father pass multiple large kidney stones.

Give me the childbirth any day of the week.

Laws? HA!

I'm just going to break this down to bullet points.

originally posted by: forthelove
Men should have to emulate all of the woman's behavior patterns.

What behavior patterns, exactly? I wasn't aware that we morph into banshees or something. Well, some already-psycho women do, but seriously.

They should have to strap an 8 lb. watermelon to their bellies for the duration.

Have you ever gained weight? Be it slowly or quickly? Then you get it either way, same progression of weight gain, NBD.

They should have to refrain from any and all drugs or alcohol.

Many smokers are not asked to quit straight away, but ween off nicotine to not jack up stress levels & risk miscarriages. As to booze, wine & beer (depending on your doc & specific health) is considered medically ok in small amounts. Binge drinking & risking FAS is not.

They should have to take prenatal vitamins and any other required intake for a normal pregnancy.

Take your vites and eat healthy anyway, WTH!

They should be required to go to all doctor's visits and lamaz classes.

You can actually request less-frequent check-ups, I know many who had as few as half a dozen. And lamaz? Seriously? Even I didn't do lamaz.

They should be forced to eat any cravings the wife has.

Not all of us HAVE cravings from the rabbit hole, bud. I craved thirds at meals, but not stuff I didn't already eat.

They should be required to gain 60 lbs. and get stretch marks.

Why 60? I only gained 20 pounds, including the baby. That's really assuming overboard on the weight gain, it's not unanimous at all. Also, even with only 20 pounds of gain, I still ended up with stretch marks. I know someone who had Hyper-emesis Gravitis (I think that's the spelling...extreme puking, BTW) who was already underweight and still LOST almost 30 pounds, as well as ending still being underweight & ending up looking like a roadmap to the US by the time the kid came out. You either get stretchmarks, or you don't, it's that simple.

They should have to get an epidural when the time comes for delivery. If she has to have a c-section then he has to get opened up too, so that he has the scar and the painful recovery.

Have kidney stones & pass them. Birth equivalent achieved.

Post-partum depression

Dads can get the baby blues, too. I've known several couples where dad had to battle it.

episiotomy

Tear your urethra passing the aforementioned kidney stones. Closest thing to the episiotomy I can think of to suggest, since I've never had one.

breast feeding

Eh, if you bottle-feed on demand like breast-feeding on demand, they're not much different. Have dad man the bottles entirely & you've got a solid idea. I didn't BF long, FWIW, but the two are comparable in time-taking.

and a house that becomes a complete mess.

You could always do what my husband did post-birth and get off your a** and clean FOR her when she's wiped out.

After the birth, the man should be required to stay home with the exception of going to work.

Why? I was out & about the day after I was discharged. I walked a mile each way to the store & back post-c-section, and with the kid in a SLING, too. It was a nice day out & nobody was telling me to stay inside.

No hanging out at the sports bar and going to strip clubs. If he gets caught doing anything other than going to the pharmacy or grocery store or running errands for his wife, he goes to jail.

WTF? Have a few at a sports bar, or go the skin bar if you want. I've been trying to get my husband to have a boys' night out for years & he just won't do it. He turned into a happy homebody alright, but damn, go have fun with friends now & then. It's good for the psyche, just don't go overboard.

He is required to do all diaper changes while at home.

Whomever's holding the baby when they fill it changes the baby was our rule. Worked fine, and diaper changes were roughly a 50/50 split.

He is required to do the morning feeding and the nightly feeding not depending on breast for milk (if the wife does that).

We did this, too. Many couples do, it's one of those no-brainers.

Many men shun their wives after a pregnancy and look for sex outside the marriage, shame on you jerks.

Agreed. Cheaters seem to keep attracting women for some reason, though.

The miracle of birth that a married couple can share is the most amazing experience and I am appalled at the behavior that many men exhibit during and after.

Eh, it's not that amazing. It's messy & gross. What behavior are you referring to anyway? Being grossed out? The placenta came out of me and even I said "Gag me, that's hideous!"

Sure, there are some men that are sensitive like I am and wouldn't dare sully the lesson in life by disrespecting their wife or girlfriend, but we are far and few between. At least it is better than it was during my parents generation, but like racism, we have a very long way to go before we reach an acceptable standard.

Personally, I think you're a little tightly wound, not sensitive. And what standard are you meaning here?

a reply to: forthelove
You sure are modest aren't you? You sure like slavery don't you?

a reply to: forthelove

I actually had to read through this thread twice. The first time I read the OP, I thought..... Wow, what a (fill-in-the-blank). Then, I read through the replies and noticed the heat being thrown at you and I started to feel bad so I decided to read the OP again and after doing so... I realized that while I might have worded some of the comments differently... they are dead on.


I have to ask this.... Are you in your late teens/early twenties and are in your first "serious" relationship and recently had a theoretical conversation with your new squeeze about pregnancy? That is sort of the only scenario that I can think of that would bring someone to write what you did. (Either that, or OP is an attempt at a "gotcha" and/or "social experiment" I've seen members do from time to time.

There is just so much junk in the OP so I'll just pick a few nonsensical items....

Men should have to emulate all of the woman's behavior patterns.

Why? How exactly does that help a new soon-to-be family prepare for this major life change?

They should have to strap an 8 lb. watermelon to their bellies for the duration.

Why? What is it you think soon-to-be fathers are doing in those last few months of their wives' pregnancies? Do you think maybe, just MAYBE they are doing physical work like building nurseries for their kids which involves building and lugging heavy furniture around?

They should have to refrain from any and all drugs or alcohol.

Why? While I would say that as soon as someone decides to become a parent they should eliminate activities that can have them tossed in the slammer, what does having a drink have to do with anything? How is that your business or the business of anyone outside of the expecting couple? When my wife was pregnant she didn't mind if I had a few drinks but I decided to not do it right in front of her out of respect. (Which, maybe a lesson you should learn is that prior to your bizarre manifesto, many/most fathers-to-be already do the right thing).

They should have to take prenatal vitamins and any other required intake for a normal pregnancy.

Here is where I'm thinking... no... HOPING that you are just kidding because if you really believe this.... WOW! I wouldn't know whether to blame your parents or your teachers or whomever else. You do understand that certain vitamins are designed for certain people, right? Or should we expand this beyond vitamins and have men with significant others take birth control pills as well. Further, should we force family members of those fighting cancer have chemotherapy too?

They should be required to go to all doctor's visits and lamaz classes.

Many fathers-to-be DO go to as many doctor's appointments as they can. Or should fathers quit their jobs and put their wives' and unborn childrens' livelyhoods in jeopardy to satisfy your odd manifesto? (As I write this I'm really hoping you're just young and naïve).

This is about as far as I can make it. If I keep going point by point this post will turn into an entire book.... except for this because this is THE MOST TELLING thing about you in your entire diatribe...

After the birth, the man should be required to stay home with the exception of going to work. No hanging out at the sports bar and going to strip clubs. If he gets caught doing anything other than going to the pharmacy or grocery store or running errands for his wife,

So, you view having a child NOT as a wonderful, blessed thing but rather as a prison sentence? If you think a man should be shackled to home... is that because you think when a woman gives birth she is shackled to home? You don't think that perhaps parents take turns, handing off the baton so the mom can have some "me time" and the dad can also have "me time" as well?

Please... please... PLEASE tell me that either this post was a joke OR that my original guess was correct and you are either young and naïve or this is a hoax thread. If not, my best suggestion would be for you to wait a VERY LONG TIME prior to having children.

Edit to Add: In your manifesto (unless I missed something) you named exactly ZERO positive things about having a child from either the mother's or father's perspective. That is also very telling.

Most men dont get it when it comes to get suffered by dysmenorrhea and pms.

This old video comes to mind..... sorry, it's just that ............ oh just watch the vid.
www.youtube.com...

a reply to: forthelove

Sure, don't cheat on your wife and quit the drugs, but the rest of what you wrote is kind of dumb. Sorry.

Women have their role in life, and men have ours. Thank God that women have their roles because the whole of humanity would start failing without the magnificent abilities that women have. Still, I have a role to play and things I'm good at that my wife needs as well. Does that mean she should cut and burn herself everyday and carry around 80 lb bags all day because I experience similar things 6 long days of every week? Should she start skipping lunch because I don't get a lunch break? Should I make her go get bit by a dog because I had to break up a vicious dog fight earlier today? No. I handle the dangerous stuff, and I do the hard labor work with long hours and long weeks. I put myself in harm's way so she doesn't have to. And That's fine because she does her part. She caries her share. We don't hold it over each other's heads. We don't resent each other because our experiences are different. It isn't a contest. My wife, a heck of a woman, would probably chastise you for your post (or at least think it). I'm not trying to be mean.

When it comes to the pregnant thing... Yes, make some changes and be supportive and engaged. Yes, do what needs to be done to express love and appreciation for her. Yes, have empathy. Yes, be responsible and considerate of her suffering. But... No, don't do all the things you said. Maybe for a day just to show her you care.

a reply to: forthelove

I've seen a lot of emasculated-apologetic male threads, over the years but this one takes the cake.

Thanks for lumping all men into one category you have the "Deny Ignorance" hall of shame award 2016.

Agreed.
a reply to: DAVID64

a reply to: Realtruth

Smells like tuna?

I can't decide if this thread is idiotic or pathetic. ...

I don't know, maybe I was lucky in some ways, my husband was always pretty kind and attentive to me in general.
No, he didn't know what he was in for the first time he was present to see me give birth- as I pulled the baby out with my hands he fainted. Went over backward completely straight like a tree, I was told.


I don't need him to know so intimately what I went through. After all, there are plenty of male type experiences that I do not know myself! My comprehension is a bit foggy on some things in his experience, but I respect it.

But then again, my first born was with a man who was a jerk, and as I began to show, he began to invite women over to sleep with while I went to work. I did not bother trying to make him understand and feel my feelings. I told him what I need from him, asked if he was willing to do it (be faithful). He said no, so I left. End of story.

Frankly, giving birth and all that HURT, and I don't want the person I love to feel hurt. He broke his collarbone once, and once he hit himself right over the eye with a hammer, and I am glad he never said he wishes I could also go through that!

I don't get what the big deal is. I'm carrying around millions on a daily basis but you don't hear me complaining.

a reply to: forthelove

It sounds like your mama made you watch alot of Oprah when you were growing up OP. Thank God mine liked John Wayne instead.

I got to say, there sure are alot of male feminists these days.

You go on hating yourself buddy, at first I thought you were just being sarcastic and clever. Then when I realized you were serious, I wanted to nominate this for the saddest thread ever. Seriously, they should commision a park with a statue in it commemorating the absolute sadness of this post where people just come and sit and dwell on how sad and pathetic this is.

Me thinks the OP wrote this under extreme duress, possibly at gunpoint...or threat of castration, by an overbearing, ultra-high-maintenance, GF who is the product of a uber-liberal scorned divorced mother (of one) who's pissed off at the World. This, after being subjected to years of testosterone removal procedures (without Novocain) as a punishment for secretly looking at pictures of Britney Spears in a bikini on the Interwebz.

Though heavily coded, it would seem this message is a desperate cry for help from the last remaining fiber, the inner most reaches, of a creature who MAY once have assumed the likeness of a man, but now cowers in the shadow of a giant, snapping, part of the female anatomy. A desperate plea from someone standing on the precipice of life, paining himself with the dreadful choice of marriage to Cruella...or leaping into the abyss below.

While you are doing all that lame ass stuff in your Original Post I may just stop by the house and get your wife preggers again.

Being that she will need a real man to accomplish this.

originally posted by: 3danimator2014
I can't decide if this thread is idiotic or pathetic. ...

It's "Pathediotic"