For older posters: Are you less active socially now?

a reply to: droid56

I think a lot of us had loads of friends back in the day. I have to say those were the best days of my life. No worries, no responsibilities, just enjoying life and having a lot of laughs, attending parties and having fun with friends.

Now in my late 50's, I'm just recently retired, married for 32 years to a beautiful and loving wife along with an empty nest. I miss all those close friends I had. I still have one close friend out of the bunch. He was also my Best Man at my wedding. Now I spend my time making money doing handy work, designing logos, working around the house, watching the news, spending time on ATS, exercising at the Y, and going out for lunch once a month with fellow retirees.

a reply to: droid56

I have never been to social. I have few friends and am OK with that. I have plenty of hobbies that keep me off the streets and out of trouble. I ride my hog or hop in the boat and go fishing. I like to bring my camera because you never know what you are going to see out there. Since I quit drinking/drugs 26 years ago I find I have less friends and family. But that is the price you pay. That and you find out who your real friends are.

a reply to: droid56

I live alone and I have for years. I keep the doors locked and the curtains drawn. I only go out to buy groceries and bring them back home. I've lived in the same apartment for over a year. I don't know the neighbors and don't care to.

I learned early on that people are weasels. They all want something but have nothing to give. I'm perfectly content to stay inside and the rest of the world can stay out.

My husband and I both are 65 soon 66. We like to socialize (outside of family) with other RVers and fisherman. Recreational friends don't drain the energy.

I am an older poster and was extremely social in my younger days. Being long time married, hubby and I socialize with family and a few friends. Our children are busy with their lives (and so they should be), and there are no grand children (yet). I still work on a casual basis and make a great effort to forge relationships with my co-workers, which to my surprise is very well received and many women of all ages tell me they enjoy visiting me and talking (more like venting). Throughout my life I have always pursued classes in art, and recently I took a floorcloth painting (ancient art form now being revived) course from an artist I met a couple decades ago, so I can jump into this social sphere at any time. I also enjoy intellectual debates and ATS can and has fulfilled this past-time for me. So, I guess I am still a social person.

We go out every other Friday to sing karaoke. We're 58 and 63.

We live by the ocean and spend some time each day at the beach. Hubby fishes and takes photos. We also garden.

a reply to: N3k9Ni

I know how you feel,I have lived in my house for 14 years and I only
"know" a couple of my neighbors.

a reply to: droid56

im 43 and interact with:

- my wife, who is my life
- my mom, who lives with us
- my kids who grace me with their presence from time to time
- my only friend, who lives a 5 hour drive away and I see a couple times a year
- my sister who is recently divorced and thinks we need her at our house every day
- my nephew, who the wife and I pretend is our grandchild, since we are ready for grandchildren and our kids aren't yet prepared for that. LOL

I really prefer working. The work i do is intellectually challenging and satisfies my need for artistic outlet. Cooking supper for the family is another outlet I enjoy.

But my down time? I like spending it either alone or with the wife.

As far as going out, yes but I have been involved more in church in the past few years and do go every Sunday usually unless I'm sick so I do some things with them.
Mostly during the summer and during the day as I help with a special needs class so we do some picnics etc. When the weather is warm.

originally posted by: droid56
Do I miss the scene? Nope. I'm tired. I mostly want to be alone, with occasional interactions with my 2 friends, plus visiting my brother and sisters. I guess the world has done a number on me. I'm worn out. I suspect I'm not alone.

So, old dudes. Am I normal? I have to say even if I'm not normal, I don't care. I am who I am. I was stupid in my younger years, but lately I've tried hard to be a better person.

lol. You are me!

I have to say that I am completely content with who I am at this time in my life. I think that's what you're not recognizing in yourself... contentedness...

When I was younger, I wasn't at all content because I had all of the usual ambitions (money, travel, finding THE person, etc...). As I look back, my "ambitions" were all an attempt to find happiness and were in vain because of a fundamental flaw in how I viewed the world. Having attained most of my ambitions over the years, I have slowly realized that none of those things were going to "make me happy" in the first place! That allowed me to relax (thank goodness!).

My family and my home are all I need. I'm content and, like you, don't really care what people think about it!

Much less active socially, and I don't feel like I'm missing something. My mother and my partner, very social persons wonder how can I live like this, I wonder the the same about them.
The more I age the more I find people to be shallow, repetitive and pre-programmed. No spontaneity, no real joy, nothing real to share; like zombies playing the same scene over and over.
So I keep my social contacts at minimum necessary, even less. I feel so much better by myself, it is much easier and no one's PC got hurt

I think that the old man and I are still active socially, to a degree.
Did the OP specify what they mean as 'older' ? If so, I missed it. I've read some 40 something's posts and that's not 'older' to me but, anyway...
Our social circles, now, revolve around our children's activities mostly. Sports and school functions, things like that.
There are a lot of social functions where I work and those are always fun!

We used to have cook outs weekly up until a year ago or so as now we have moved into a MUCH SMALLER home and I just can't support the number of folks anymore but...they were a blast...any excuse was a good one. First Day of Spring? Party. UT playing an away game? Party. There really was no need for invites at Holiday time, everyone just knew they were coming to our house...

When the children leave home, we plan to leave home as well and travel. In an RV. My parents did this for the last 20 something years of their lives and I envied them so.
My Dad used to say "Don't expect an inheritance, I'm going to spend it all". LOL
There's a big world out there with lots of folks to meet and I want to see it/do it while I'm still young (my opinion of young!).

a reply to: droid56

I am twenty years younger than you....and I've already sensed things going much the same direction for myself.

I've also realized that I've already begun to feel a sincere sense of disconnect between myself and "the younger generation" today.....as well as society as a whole. I am jaded, I've seen the strings far too long for me to be otherwise.


For as much as "the younger generation" claims to be open and accepting....and as I am open to accepting differing viewpoints...I find them to be the ones doing the alienation.

a reply to: droid56

I have been thinking about this very issue a lot recently. I just turned 68 this month. I have found myself experiencing being caught somewhere in the middle. I am a divorced male and most of my peer group are married couples. I do socialize with them but there are awkward moments regarding what we do and where we go. I tend to be the man out so some of them have tried to introduce me to single women. Again AWKWARD. After two failed marriages (27 years and 8 years long), due to their infidelity, I am unwilling to risk getting emotionally involved. I find the idea of going out to dance and drink and meet women highly unlikely. I know better than to say never but I am strongly hesitant!

Then I have my younger friends who are artists, poets, writers, etc. We socialize around our creativity but for them to invite me to join them in outside activities must feel like they would be inviting their dad along. I spend a lot of time alone and miss companionship. So I spend time here with my ATS friends.

I'll be 58 in April. Back in the day, I was always at a concert or night club drinking and dancing and arriving at home in the wee hours of morning. These days, my big night out with a friend/friends is a lunch or dinner date and shopping. LOL

originally posted by: mamabeth
a reply to: Ghost147


Ahh,27... I have a couple of dresses hanging in my closet older than you.

Bahahahaha! I know, right? LOL

I think the world has just kicked the crap out of me.

Animals make me happy.

Kind of funny...My teenage child told me they have 222 friends.

I replied "if you have car trouble today. Start calling those friends, when

you get to my name I'll come get you..."

Hubby and I have definitely slowed down in our old age.

But we still get together with friends and neighbours once in a while for some fun and frolicking (more so during the summertime)... and then suffer for 3 days afterwards because our beat up old bodies can't quite tolerate all that excitement anymore.

a reply to: nullafides

For as much as "the younger generation" claims to be open and accepting....and as I am open to accepting differing viewpoints...I find them to be the ones doing the alienation.

I feel some of that as well. Perhaps it is a generational thing? I remember my disdain for my parents who didn't like my music.