For older posters: Are you less active socially now?

In my younger days I hung out in various circles of friends, lots of people, many relationships of different types.

Now that I am 66 years old, the vibrant social life I used to have is long gone. I have 2 friends, a married couple. I live alone.

Do I miss the scene? Nope. I'm tired. I mostly want to be alone, with occasional interactions with my 2 friends, plus visiting my brother and sisters. I guess the world has done a number on me. I'm worn out. I suspect I'm not alone.

So, old dudes. Am I normal? I have to say even if I'm not normal, I don't care. I am who I am. I was stupid in my younger years, but lately I've tried hard to be a better person.

a reply to: droid56

Just a few years younger than you. Mostly the same. Too much responsibility to go running around.

We go to nice restaurants on occasion, maybe a movie.

a reply to: droid56

Well I can tell you that you have a couple decades on me and I find myself feeling the same way. I grew up in less than ideal circumstances and lost friends to addiction way too early. I keep little company now. A couple very old friends that made it through the #, but nothing more. Wife, dogs, and cat.

I frequently regret the cat. Still keep the little imp around though.

I think it makes me more thankful, having less.

a reply to: droid56

I'm snuggling up to 60. Yes, the same for me and my Darlin'. We have a few good friends and many folk we're friendly with. We still dance, but often out of the public eye. There's no shame to it. You find a place that makes you happy, and often that happy place is apart from the general throng in which you once participated.

We used to court crowds -- intentionally thrusting ourselves in concerts, races, protests, car races and sporting events. Neither of us enjoy crowds any longer, and I think much of that is that we both feel coiled in preparation of what those crowds might produce; it doesn't feel like the same gentle world in which we were raised. We're not afraid a bit -- just don't want to be........... jostled. Hard to imagine that in my youth there were few things I enjoyed as much as the semi-controlled violence of a mosh pit.

I basically stopped having a social life when I got married.My husband and I
pretty much like to keep to ourselves.

a reply to: droid56

I was very active with dancing (real dancing) until about a year and a half ago. Just gave up. Could not relate to the people. Esp. other women.

So...yes, live alone. Would love to have a companion but don't think anyone could stand me now. Had people interested but they were mostly younger and I could not relate plus there has to be some real connection for me and never was there

Yes, tired. Children mostly to busy for me. No friends. Mostly communicate with my brother due to a mutual interest.

You are not alone. I am 70 and a dudette.

I'm way ahead of you guys! I'm 27 next week and I've never been social, nor do I plan on it

a reply to: Ghost147


Ahh,27... I have a couple of dresses hanging in my closet older than you.

a reply to: droid56

Nahh😆

I get out. Just with my dogs. They don't ever have unwanted opinions. Or try to share a joke they just saw online. Or say my most hated phrase.. "hey did you see that Facebook page".

My former Firefighrer/Medic Co workers can't go five seconds without bringing up thier jobs..

42 and happy to be a mystery. 👍

I say.. if I met you at a bar. And you said I like the color pewter with a splash of sarcasm.. the next 4 rounds are on me.

a reply to: Ghost147

Happy birthday🍻

originally posted by: Ghost147
I'm way ahead of you guys! I'm 27 next week and I've never been social, nor do I plan on it

That's okay. You are very social here. And happy soon to be birthdayl

a reply to: droid56

I'm only 35 but in my years of late I've learned the more like-minded friends you have, the more social you are. It's a human tendency, and I'm what society calls anti-social. No. I just am social with people that don't piss me off.

originally posted by: liveandlearn

originally posted by: Ghost147
I'm way ahead of you guys! I'm 27 next week and I've never been social, nor do I plan on it

That's okay. You are very social here. And happy soon to be birthdayl

Yeah. I'm cool on the internet

Thanks for the birthday wishes

originally posted by: argentus
Neither of us enjoy crowds any longer, and I think much of that is that we both feel coiled in preparation of what those crowds might produce; it doesn't feel like the same gentle world in which we were raised. We're not afraid a bit -- just don't want to be........... jostled.

That is an incredibly apt way to describe it, coiled. I think it happened in my 30's. I'm not afraid of crowds, rather I'm afraid of what might happen in them and what it might cause me to do.

I've never been afraid of people, but I've constantly worried about what violent and unreasonable people might cause me to do. Violence means nothing to violent people, but thoughtful people fear the consequences of their own violence. I find that being solitary alleviates that fear.

originally posted by: Ghost147

Yeah. I'm cool on the internet

Thanks for the birthday wishes

Nah, you're cool off the internet too, even if nobody off the internet knows it.

I recall a particularly difficult evolution thread we were both in. You have the patience of a saint. We were the only ones left trying tirelessly to point out the misconceptions to the OP. I believe I devolved into sarcastic sniping, but you kept up the good fight.

You're cool, internet or not.

Never been one that likes being in a crowd. The Lone Wanderer Perk of Fallout 4 fits me to a T .

I used to have a really big circle of friends, but when people start having relationships with other people in that circle then breaking up. You have to take sides, so the circle whittles down. With all the sides your forced to take. . I really miss a lot of my older friends due to having to take sides which is pretty sad. I miss a lot of my close friends from back in the day when life was al about going to or putting on club nights. I can't cope with that lifestyle anyway and I'm only 36, but been round the block and through the mill of life. I can count the amount of times I've left my house in the last 3 years on one hand.i don't even go out for quiet pub lunches as much these days. Having a disability doesn't help. First it's a pain the arse and most places really don't accommodate disabled people very well these daysespecially country pubs. Despite what you may here. I get around on a crutch and am very unstable. I hate going out in a wheelchair and being that guy. It's much easier just using social media, but I do miss the days of big nights out and all dayers in the pub, followed by going out out. Not just out.

I can think of so many replies. Can you? Can we keep this thread alive?

One inner theme that echoes in me is how I miss the innocent spontaneity of saying, "Can you come out to play?"

a reply to: droid56

I am now 31 years old, and although my social circle has changed, it has not become smaller. If anything, it has grown some in that time, despite some figures from my past no longer being present in it. I was out with my tribe yesterday, I will visit with them again tonight. We may spend some of Monday in one another's company also, and at some point soon, I will begin jamming with one of my buddies on a bi-weekly basis.

Will things be different when I am older than I am now, by half as much again? Certainly. I fully expect to have levelled up several times by then!

a reply to: droid56

I had a lot more people I hung out with in my younger days. I am not so sure they were 'friends' in the sense that I would trust them with my life or anything. I have fewer people I hang out with these days, but I trust them way more.