Can I borrow $20 for gas so I can get to work this week?

a reply to: seeker1963

Personally, I think you should just build a bridge and get over it... Seriously dude its $20, is money that tight for ya that you feel the need make a judgmental thread about someone lending $20?

Its totally ridiculous that anyone would even consider it an issue... imo.

originally posted by: bigfatfurrytexan
a reply to: Discotech

To anyone criticizing Discotech here....lemme tell you that a couple of folks giving me the same tough love that is being described here helped make me who I am, and (even though I didn't like it then) it was one of the best things anyone could have ever done for me.

I was a petulant child once upon a time. A few good kicks in my ass helped form a notion of personal reponsibility that has served me far, far better than the small amount of cash that I asked for.

You're right!

Disco replied as I would have replied if someone else wrote this thread.

As the thread evolved I told more of the back ground of this young lady and why I made my decisions. To some my decisions were admirable, to others they my actions were enabling. Neither were wrong and neither were right.

With that being said, I grew up with tough love and being held responsible for my decisions. Yet even in my bad decisions my parents still showed me they loved me by either rebuking my behavior/decisions or helping me. Trust me, when they helped me, it tore their hearts out because they chose love over discipline. Yet they let me know, that even though they loved me, they would NEVER help me again if I made that kind of bad choice in my life!

originally posted by: Subaeruginosa
a reply to: seeker1963

Personally, I think you should just build a bridge and get over it... Seriously dude its $20, is money that tight for ya that you feel the need make a judgmental thread about someone lending $20?

Its totally ridiculous that anyone would even consider it an issue... imo.

I think you missed the point.

He was willing, able, and happy to help a friend out. He was a bit disconcerted to see they needed to borrow $20 but had recently dropped $80 on a luxury item.

Something tells me you're a borrower...

Seeker....I was taught to always help somebody who was trying.

Young people make bad decisions.

So, if she pays you back and shows some appreciation.

I might help her again...Don't mean to suggest you be a sucker.

I supported my little bro for six months.

His first check he spent it all on a leather jacket.

You can't fix stupid...

originally posted by: whyamIhere
Seeker....I was taught to always help somebody who was trying.

Young people make bad decisions.

So, if she pays you back and shows some appreciation.

I might help her again...Don't mean to suggest you be a sucker.

I supported my little bro for six months.

His first check he spent it all on a leather jacket.

You can't fix stupid...

It's all good!

I am not a special snow flake and I was just making an observation. I try to be a good person as hard as it may be sometimes....

One of my favorite sayings, "You can call me anything you want, just don't call me late for dinner."

originally posted by: TinkerHaus

originally posted by: Subaeruginosa
a reply to: seeker1963

Personally, I think you should just build a bridge and get over it... Seriously dude its $20, is money that tight for ya that you feel the need make a judgmental thread about someone lending $20?

Its totally ridiculous that anyone would even consider it an issue... imo.

I think you missed the point.

He was willing, able, and happy to help a friend out. He was a bit disconcerted to see they needed to borrow $20 but had recently dropped $80 on a luxury item.

Something tells me you're a borrower...

I didn't miss the point, I just think the points petty... There's a huge difference.

If she's paying the money back, then what's the issue?

originally posted by: Subaeruginosa

originally posted by: TinkerHaus

originally posted by: Subaeruginosa
a reply to: seeker1963

Personally, I think you should just build a bridge and get over it... Seriously dude its $20, is money that tight for ya that you feel the need make a judgmental thread about someone lending $20?

Its totally ridiculous that anyone would even consider it an issue... imo.

I think you missed the point.

He was willing, able, and happy to help a friend out. He was a bit disconcerted to see they needed to borrow $20 but had recently dropped $80 on a luxury item.

Something tells me you're a borrower...

I didn't miss the point, I just think the points petty... There's a huge difference.

If she's paying the money back, then what's the issue?

She was supposed to pay it back today!

I am waiting.....it's 7:40 pm my time.....

Regardless, do you feel better being so much smarter than those of us who have made the mistakes in life that you NEVER made?

The post wasn't about the money Einstein!

People in a financial crisis make stupid decisions.

Dumb people can't handle money.

And repeat.

It's as simple as it sounds. Unfortunately I am just learning to handle my finances.

I would have said, great, know what you can use them walking to your job.

a reply to: seeker1963

It's always been like this, it's nothing new with "kids these days!" (optional cane shaking).

Teens and young adults have more years ahead of them than behind them, they lack perspective and don't quite "get" consequences.

The thing is, when you get older you begin to notice people younger than you behaving this way.

"Well *I* never acted like that!" ... Good for you, but some of your peers no doubt did, buying packs of Lucky Strikes and pomade instead of gas for their 57' Chevy.

Stop being such a bleeding heart bro

Take her up to the gas station next time and fill her tank up instead of handing her the money.

I dont give money to any homeless people. I used to buy them food. But i dont even do that anymore. Because around Holloway in North London where i live there are a fair few homeless people, notably:

- The one i bought a 10 dollar (7 quid) Turkish meal (meat dish, rice, salad, bread and desert) for and who got snippy with me when i asked him very politely if he was going to eat it because if he didnt want it, i would give it to the next guy. He got seriously sh*tty with me.

- That same guy once turned down a whole, fresh baguette from my wife, untouched from her shopping bag on the way home. Why? And this is 100% true....because he had nothing to dip it in or eat it with. His exact words.

- the guy who has been selling the Big Issue (magazine homeless people sell to get money in the UK, very well known) outside the Waitrose here for the last 10 years. Yes, 10. I asked him one day why he was still there and surely he had enough to get a flat and a job and he told me he makes more money from this and benefits than he would in a crappy job. That waitrose is very busy with middle class to affluent people, hes doing just fine.

- The very vulnerable looking young woman who sometimes sits outside the bank on Holloway Road and who i go out of my way to buy food for. Fish and Chips, McDonalds, Bread and cheese, water, Juice etc...whenever she is there. Then one day a few weeks ago, i see her further up the road, looking very un-homeless, on a bike and talking on her mobile. Its all an act.

- The guy who has been sitting outside Holloway Road tube station exit EVERY DAY for at least 10 years...he gets lots of money, lots of people talking to him and lots of food given to him. But he still moans that "no one cares about him" and throws fits when its not so busy. Its a very very busy station. he man is doing just fine.

This plus the number of times the same women and men (at different times) come up to me and my wife with the same stories. Locked their keys, kids ill, just need 20p...almost every day. Its all bullsh*t.

We have one guy who is dressed very smartly, comes up to you, shakes your hand, tells you his full name, says hes a local doctor and he got mugged and needs a few quid to get home. We almost fell for it, but something smelled fishy. Lo ad behold, he has approached us with the same mugging story three times since then.

I am very generous guy with a huge amount of empathy for people, but ive had enough. They get absolutely nothing from me any more.

a reply to: Caver78

New shoes may have been a necessity, sure, but you don't need $80 Nikes. A cheap pair from Walmart will serve long enough to allow you save the $80 responsibly for a good pair of Nikes without impairing your ability to put gas in your tank.

That's the way I would have played it, or I would have stuck it out till payday on my old shoes.

It`s not just this generation that is financially irresponsible. My neighbor up the road is 58 years old and lives with her ex husband. He gets $900 a month social security retirement, she`s a bum doesn`t work. He`s been in the hospital for 2 months recovering from surgery,last week she got a turn off notice from the electric company, they owe $2,000 to the electric company.so, what does she do after getting the turn off notice? she goes and gets a $92 hair cut and dye job.
She has spent the last 9 years trying to get social security disability and has been turned down every time.
She plays the lottery everyday,she`s always complaining that the charity organizations don`t give her enough.She`s never worked a day in her entire life,been married 3 times.
She`s the most ungrateful person you`ll ever meet, she doesn`t do a thing for herself and constantly complains that other people aren`t doing enough for her.

a reply to: Subaeruginosa

The point is, responsibility.

There is that school of thought that sees nothing wrong with purchasing groceries with welfare, then driving home in your new Cadillac.

That school of thought is kind of what is being derided here.

a reply to: bigfatfurrytexan

Responsibility is overrated.

I'd rather the nikes over being "responsible"... just because a persons poor doesn't mean their not entitled to treat themselves once in a while, imo.

Besides, those new pair of nikes were probably a huge confidence boost for her, so the $20 was probably a good investment into her mental well being.

Sometimes, I think people have gotten so used to being enabled in their irresponsibility by others one way or the other that they simply haven't ever had to find a way to make do.

We went through a period of years just out of college and just before my husband made his break where we had to simply make do and do all kinds of budgetary gymnastics just to make ends meet. It was a point of pride to do it on our own without needing to ask for assistance and we figured it out. Those are the times where you learn that some things are more important than $80 Nikes or the latest tech gadget, even if they are less fun to spend money on.

LOL You are feelin the Bern, that's their philosophy right.

Ask for a Bull Job every time she wants money. Hey at least you won't be sucking after wards.

seriously, tell her to leave your life. or discipline yourself to say no. we humans learn from harsh mistakes and those mistakes makes us grow better. Were you taught to be caring and loving? If so, stop. she and whomever are taking advantage of you.

originally posted by: Subaeruginosa
a reply to: bigfatfurrytexan

Responsibility is overrated.

I'd rather the nikes over being "responsible"... just because a persons poor doesn't mean their not entitled to treat themselves once in a while, imo.

Besides, those new pair of nikes were probably a huge confidence boost for her, so the $20 was probably a good investment into her mental well being.

Until she ran out of gas, and had to go begging for the kindness of friends.

In the real world, confidence boosters don't feed you. Or get you to work.