Augustus...You Should Be Dancing!!

The roast of AugustusMasonicus

I may not know Augustus as well as others here. . . . but he's such a sissy in debates, that Ellen DeGeneres gets horny watching him write.

There is not a big mystery as to why Augustus has been missing lately on ATS. His account was hacked by ISIS, but quickly left when they saw what HE kept on his hard drive.

. . . . .

a reply to: DBCowboy

Hah.

Remember when you and that little girl walked into the woods late at night and she looked up at you and said, 'Mister, I'm scared!', and you said, 'You're scared!? What about me? I gotta walk out of here alone!'

Oh wait, that was me. Sorry.

a reply to: AugustusMasonicus

I knew it! Damn Masons.

Somebody cover the windows of this party.

Congrats and thanks for all the LuLz.

originally posted by: kosmicjack
I knew it! Damn Masons.

Somebody cover the windows of this party.

Good idea. Luckily for you us serial killer-ish types always have duct tape handy.

Congrats and thanks for all the LuLz.

Thanks. It does say a lot about you personally that you find me funny.

a reply to: AugustusMasonicus

OMG

a reply to: Raxoxane

I guess I shouldn't tell you that there was a women arrested for using Botox on an 8 year old. DBCowboy said, 'That's nothing, I use formaldehyde!'

a reply to: AugustusMasonicus
Sounds like fun!

a reply to: AugustusMasonicus

I understand your frustration.

When you spend all morning making breakfast for that special someone in your life, place it on a tray, have fresh cut flowers artfully arranged, deliver it to her in bed and the first words out of her mouth are. . .

"Who are you and what are you doing in my house!"

a reply to: AugustusMasonicus

I have the heart of a teenager.

I keep it in a jar next to the computer.

a reply to: AugustusMasonicus

I do love you
And in a platonic way,which is the least..messy and problematic. I really do

a reply to: DBCowboy



See this is why i keep coming back to ATS

a reply to: DBCowboy

Remember when the Judge said to you, 'How does 5-6 years sound?', and you said, 'Sexy...'?

originally posted by: Raxoxane
a reply to: DBCowboy

See this is why i keep coming back to ATS

Right?

*passes Raxoxane the popcorn* I'm just watching now, lol.

jacy

originally posted by: AugustusMasonicus
a reply to: DBCowboy

Remember when the Judge said to you, 'How does 5-6 years sound?', and you said, 'Sexy...'?

The Ford dealership said that the last white panel van with no windows was recently sold, he gave me your number.

originally posted by: jacygirl
Right?

*passes Raxoxane the popcorn* I'm just watching now, lol.

jacy

Did you know DB nailed his first cousin when he was 16?



And his last one an hour ago....

a reply to: AugustusMasonicus

I had 'man' stuff to do in New York City.

What you call "man-stuff" I call sissy-stuff, done by someone who dresses like some rat-pack immitator. I hope you can sing like Franky. Style is not everybody's strong suit, it seem. But nice hat. Zerzly. And happy 20.000's post! That's prove you realy need a new hobby.

I remember a story Augustus once told me. . . .

His wife came home and without skipping a beat said, "Take off my shoes".

Augustus did.

Then she said, "Take off my dress".

Augustus did.

Then she said, "Take off my underwear".

Augustus did.

Then she said, "Would you PLEASE STOP WEARING MY CLOTHES!"

a reply to: AugustusMasonicus
What did he nail his cousin to?

a reply to: AugustusMasonicus

Countdown is on....13 more posts...

You better say something really PROFOUND for your 20,000th Aug...

a reply to: jacygirl

This is better than Frasier